On Writing Erotica (Rev 1)

What guides and motivates me in writing erotica (Rev 1)

I thought that I would share with you what guides and motivates me when I write short stories for Literotica. You might find it interesting. In what follows an "adult" is one who has reached their age of majority. Herein, that is any person who is 18 years old.

"The Rights of Self: An adult's life and body is theirs to do with as they want. One has free will. This is an inherent upon birth."

Let me quickly point out that this recognizes what one can do, not what one should or should not do. An adult can engage in any sexual activity with other consenting adults. The operative word here is "consenting". The Rights of Self does not give one any right to do whatever they want to another. One can only do to another that which the other permits them to do.

"The Subtleties of Evolution: Humans are not created equally, physically or mentally, because of how the chromosomes of one's parents combine to create their child. Some persons will have more whatevers than others. Some will be smarter, stronger, faster, taller, thinner, more logical, more creative, more empathetic, more attractive, [more sexually endowed] and more whatever than another. Our formative years are different. We have different needs."

We are what we are.

Given the Subtleties of Evolution and the personal experience of many, it is reasonable to accept that one's sexual identity is more than just the physical attributes that another can readily observe.

I've come to recognize a distinction between one's sex, gender and sexuality.

The sex of a person is what a casual observer can see of the person when born: a penis, a vulva, both or none. The sex of a person identifies what the person is: a boy, a girl, a hermaphrodite or an "X". The sex of a person identifies what they are.

The gender of a person describes who they are. A person is known to others by what others perceive them to be by their outward appearance, activities, mannerisms and behavior. A person is known to themselves by how they view the world around them and how the perceive themselves in it. One's gender falls somewhere along a continuum in which "male" and "female" are end points. Most of us have both male and female traits. Some of us are more masculine than others; some, more feminine.

There are no rules governing the assignment of one's gender to their sex. For most persons a gender is imposed upon them by their parents and community during their formative years. One's gender, though, is more than their sex. It is in their chromosomes. It is part of the subtleties of evolution. A person appears to have an inherent gender.

A person may become aware that their inherent gender differs from that imposed upon them during their formative years. Some do not "fit" in with their peers. It drives some to "cross-dress" and others to undergo radical surgery like a double mastectomy or castration. I feel that there is something wrong in our culture that would drive someone to feel that they must undergo such radical surgery.

A child should be allowed and encourage to find its own way. A parent should interact with their child in, as much as possible, a gender neutral way. A parent should tune into their child's curiosity and interests and nurture and support both. A parent should provide opportunities for their child to learn about who they are now and gain insights as to who they want to be as they get older.

"The Responsibilities of Self: A person upon reaching their age of majority is responsible to be independent and self-sufficient, to be all that they can be with their inherent capabilities and to live fully, harmoniously and responsibly within their community, to do it "no harm". One evolves a personal code for living their life in community. One makes decisions that they believe are best for them and for those who are important to them. One is accountable to themself and their community for all that they do and don't do. One is solely responsible for the consequences of their actions. "

I believe that one alone determines if they are living their life as they should. It is their life to live. Life is personal.

"The Responsibilities of Parenthood: A parent is responsible to prepare their child to meet their responsibilities when the reach their age of majority."

Parents are responsible to teach their child about morality and sex such that when they become adults they can make informed, reasonable decisions about both,

Morality is distinguishing between right and wrong or good and bad behavior. Morality is in the eyes of the beholder. What may be moral to one may be immoral to another.

I recognize a distinction between recreational and procreational sex. Basically, in procreational sex, foreplay is to prepare the woman for unprotected intercourse with the intent to become pregnant. In recreational sex, it is all about foreplay and orgasms with possible penetration, either with a penis, protected or not, or a phallus. With modern contraceptive practices condoms are no longer needed to prevent pregnancy.

Recreational sex is fun, therapeutic and to be enjoyed. It should be pursued honorably, respectfully, considerately and responsibly.

There are several sexual activities in which the sex of the participants is irrelevant. A hand is a hand. A mouth is a mouth.

Making the distinction between recreational and procreation sex brings to my mind the issue of incest. I wonder if a mother should be responsible for introducing her children to recreational sex. Who has more concerned for and love of children than their mother? Who would be better to teach them?

I find writing erotica very freeing. It is non-fiction, fiction and fantasy all rolled up in one. I have found writing to be an invigorating mental activity. Indeed I write to live.

I am concerned that too many young people are learning about sex watching pornographic videos. They are readily available on the Internet. In too many heterosexual videos, the woman is objectified. They exist to be used. In girl-girl videos I see too much formulaic intimacy, "you do this to me, I'll do the same to you and then we'll do this together". Writing enables the story to be "seen" in the reader's mind. It is perceived relative to their personal experiences. I find it amazing what can be described and feelings conveyed in 2,000 words. Many say that the mind is the most powerful sex organ in one's body.

In my stories an underlying theme is how the primary character in the story learns and takes control of their sex life. I believe that it is important for one to do so. I recall that when I was in college I considered myself a reasonably good "make-out artist". I thought my success was due to my skills. Later in life I realized that I did what my partner allowed me to do. What she wanted. What she was ready to do. Today, I fear peer pressure pushes young women further and faster than they are ready.

I like writing girl-girl sex tales.

A male's inherent programming is to "get it up, get it in, keep it up and get off". There are natural limits to the length of a story. Fantasy can be taken only so far. Women, on the other hand, want to enjoy it, play with it and prolong it. Some women are multi-orgasmic; the more, the better. Stories focusing upon women can be longer.

A woman has so many "assets" which one can play with and build a story around. There is a lot more for a woman to understand and to experience firsthand about her own body as well that of others.

There appears to be a natural closeness among women. I believe that a woman is more capable than a man in giving pleasure to another woman's body except in the case of intercourse. I would like to believe that there is something special to a woman to feel a real penis filling her vagina. I might be wrong.

Stories about women can be more interesting in terms of societal changes that are on the horizon.

The full empowerment of women is inevitable, sooner in the more technologically advanced communities. Technologies like robotics, automation, artificial intelligence, exoskeletons and the Internet are changing the nature of work. Jobs heretofore done primarily by men will be equally doable by women. Women will have financial security equal to men.

I can readily envision a "family" comprised of three women and their children, in which there is always a mother/"aunt" at home to nurture the children. A man will be selected when and as needed to procreate. I've already seen postings in Craigslist for such.

You will find my stories consistent with the above.

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[Revision history:

Initially published: 5/14/2017

Rev 1: Recognized the differences between sex, gender and sexuality and between recreational and procreational sex