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"You probably have questions," it started, "Call me and we can talk - or wait until 2, when we can meet at the property. - Samantha"
Then there was a simple selfie of her smiling into her camera, the hint of a fang just peeking out of her lip. Her blonde hair framing her face, and the tip of her tongue along the top of her lip.
I pressed the button to call her back.
———————
"Hello Tom," I smiled as I swiped to answer his call back, "How was your night?"
I listened to his reply, which was about as confused as I expected.
"What do you think I did to you?" I asked calmly.
Another pause as I listened.
"No Tom, I didn't infect you or drug you. I awakened you." I explained, "I had some suspicions about you but the result could have been one of a few different outcomes."
A pause then, "Stop. Relax and listen. I want you to close your eyes Tom, and tune in to your feelings. I'll wait." I replied to his frustrated response, "No Tom, just be quiet, close your eyes and feel ... what do you sense happening around you?"
"How many?" I asked as he began to let his new sensitives flow into his mind.
I listened patiently for an answer, I could tell that he was searching. he told me he felt one female presence nearby. He paused as he continued to sense his surroundings, something he would soon get develop as he gained control. he found another presence, he said it felt mixed.
"Another... a couple together," he finally pieced together.
I smiled as my tongue traced my lips, then slid along the tip of one of my fangs, "Indulge, Tom." I said as I disconnected.
- COMMENTS
HankDolworth2 months agoAuthorI’ll cop to the in media res opening being a bit off, I thought it would add to understanding the confusion of the protagonist. I will take it as a lesson to not confuse the reader in the process. A couple more chapters and it smooths out to a singular narrative.
Colin663 months agoI'm liking this but as was already mentioned, it's too disjointed for me to really like it a lot.
Fuzzy_Kbear9 months agoI gave 4 stars
I'm a linear Thinker, disconjointed things disturb me and make it difficult to follow. It took me almost 6 years to watch and fully understand Pulp Fiction, and I've yet to even try , to try to finish Fight Club. Because they are both disconjointed If not for Sam I wouldn't have tried to finish Pulp Fiction but I like his movies. I'm not a fan of Brad.
I like this premise so I'm going to try, but if it continues to be so disconjointed I won't make it.
Nexte1009 months agoGreat stuff, 5 stars! Is there anything better than finding a great story that already has several installments released? I'm psyched for what's in store. Regarding the content, I'm really liking the characters and I think you nailed just the right about of exposition. I also enjoyed your use of In Medias Res, though I admit the transitions were just a tad too jarring, making me go back briefly to understand the connection. Awesome stuff, looking forward to reading more. Thanks.
