One Day at a Time

"What version could there be, Dyl? It couldn't have been more... obvious," she said with full sarcasm.

"I'm losing you Cassie. You still take her side even though she cheated?"

"What? What? She never cheated, Dyl, it was always you. The baby is yours, you bastard."

The blood was draining from his face.

"What baby?"

"Why did you throw her out for Dylan? You found out about the baby and never wanted to take your responsibilities, at least not with a lady. Have to go Dylan."

He gripped her arm.

"Not yet Cassie. I honestly didn't know about the baby. God, what baby? I happened to see Sienna with a very um... caring man, all over her, outside a hotel and combined with her change in behavior the weeks before that, I assumed..."

"You mean her half-brother, Lucas? God, Dyl, did you ever let her explain? Did you ever ask? You are pathetic Dylan," and this time she went away, leaving him in the middle of the worst moment of his life.

No questions, he ditched the blonde, left the place and went for a long walk and a half packet of cigarettes.

He spent next week trying to trace her down. He even called Cassie and, as politely as he could, he demanded to see her. She finally agreed and they had a coffee on their lunch breaks.

"If I had been in such a love story Dylan, I wouldn't have just 'fired' my lover over assumptions."

He sat speechless. Another two years lost and he had only himself to blame.

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes Dyl. She supports herself and the baby, your son, on her own. She doesn't care if it's difficult, hard at times. She's madly in love with that little boy. Do the math, Dyl. He's sixteen months old now."

Still speechless.

"And I'll tell you something she never will. Patrick, you remember Patrick? He kept in touch and is willing to come back and adopt the baby. He's pressing a lot and Sienna is so tired, I don't know how long she'll be up and going."

His head was spinning. He left some notes on the table and threw a sincere 'thank you' to Cassie. He left.

He took the next day off. Mumbled he had to redesign some exteriors and went to the neighborhood Cassie had mentioned Sienna and the boy lived.

He was into his seventh smoke when he saw a familiar figure. His heart beat rapidly. He dropped the cigarette and walked slowly to them. Her slim figure, even slimmer than he remembered, was holding a little boy in her arms and was talking to him. His little hands were playing with her hair, her wonderful hair, and they were both laughing.

He was thirty now and suddenly felt ready for all that in his life, but he had fucked up big time.

"Hello Sienna," he said in his low, manly voice.

Sienna knew who it was before she turned around. She instinctively held the baby on her chest tighter and felt her blood draining from her face.

His eyes caressed her face and the baby's.

"Can I hold him?" She knew instantly he already knew. With careful movements she handed him to Dylan but kept a hand on the baby's back, just in case. When Dylan felt comfortable, he said softly, "I got him" and there he was, in his arms.

Sienna turned her head slightly away to hide her tears. She couldn't ever hate Dylan, he was right when he told her that she was his. But then again, she felt he had broken her.

"What's his name?" He asked even more quietly, smiling at his son.

"I call him Daniel, I wanted him to have a name starting with a D, like his father."

He didn't say a word. He was too scared he would ruin a moment like this.

Little Daniel looked into Dylan's eyes questioningly and Sienna explained "He's drawn into your voice."

"He's got my eyes Sienna."

"Yeah, he sure does."

He didn't make any remark about her tear streaked face. The whole scene was overwhelming for him too.

"What are you doing for the rest of the day?"

"Well, he has to eat and rest in an hour and I'll work while he sleeps. Then it's play time with Daniel and chores to do when he eats and goes to bed for the night."

"Is there any room for me?"

"Dylan..." She bit her lip. "What made you change your mind about the baby?"

"I didn't know you were pregnant Sienna. I thought you were cheating on me."

Her face flushed bright red. She took Daniel back in her arms but Dylan noticed her hands were shaking.

"I'm so angry at you Dylan, you're lucky I'm holding Daniel. I would really like to punch you a thousand times right now, until my hands bleed." She let her tears flow freely and went on, "God, Dylan... Whatever made you think of that? Why the hell didn't you ask me?" A million questions rose, but baby Daniel started crying too, seeing his mom in such a distress.

"Let me have him. I'll follow you home," he said softly, taking Daniel again in his arms.

Sienna gave up. She walked up to their apartment, in a nearby complex. The apartment was small but cheerful.

Sienna began preparing Daniel's routine with a steady flow of angry tears. When Daniel was asleep, Dylan approached her.

"I can't find words to say how sorry I am. I can't believe anyone has hated me the way I hate myself right now."

He touched her hand and kept it tight in his.

When she steadied her breaths she said "I don't hate you Dylan."

He wanted to tell her he'd give her all the help she needed but was too afraid of her answer. He had to take it slowly.

"Please, can I stay until he sleeps? Can I see him again?"

"Sure Dylan, he's yours. Whenever you want. Just let me know beforehand... He's still quite attached to his routine..."

They stayed speechless, each fighting their own demons. Her hand was still tightly wrapped in his.

She rose after a while. "I have to wake him up" and Dylan saw her young face turned serious and responsible, practically a baby taking care of another baby. He saw the girl he knew and the woman she was becoming. She had lost weight and looked tired, but in his eyes there hadn't been more loving. Yeah, he truly had fucked up big time.

"I love you Sienna," he heard his heart scream, "I love you and Daniel."