One More Time Ch. 10

He turned his head away and mumbled. "Stop! This is more than I can deal with. I'm not gay."

"No, Derek...you decided that you couldn't BE gay...but yet you sure faked it well every time we got it on."

He turned his head back towards mine, but remained silent as I continued.

"There wasn't anything I wouldn't have done with you, but it was obvious that you had drawn a line at sucking each off and for whatever stupid reason, I respected that line. I shouldn't have and maybe tonight would never had happened. Call it my own insecurities and blame me if you want for never forcing the issue before. I honestly thought what we had other than the friendship was forever in the past until a few minutes ago." I paused and took a big breath. "I'm sober enough to drive home now, which I think is best for both of us tonight. All I want you to know is that if you weren't married, I would still be in bed with you and this conversation would be a lot more fun because it would end up with you taking my ass like I prayed you would so many times."

"You really mean that, don't you?" The hint of renewed lust in his voice was ignored.

"Every bit as much as I mean this, Derek." With that statement, I leaned over to his face and for the first time ever, planted my lips to his and kissed him...not long or hard and without tongue...but with enough passion to let him know how I had really felt about him. The initial reaction was reserved shock but he didn't pull away either. As I broke off the kiss, he stared at me as I went on. "I loved you so much, Derek. I still do more than is emotionally healthy for me probably. But you made your choice twenty months ago. Just because you are a bachelor of sorts again this weekend, doesn't mean we can turn back the pages on the calendar for one night. At least I can't. And God knows how much I fucking want to."

"But Brad...if I only knew..."

I pasted my finger to his lips. "You stop, Derek. We can't do the 'could have, would have, should have' game. Not now. You chose to get married and live straight. I will get on with my own life and whatever it brings. We will still be friends I hope because this night hasn't changed anything else except to get out some things we should have said long ago." I smiled and stood back up.

"You are really going home?"

"Yeah, I think it's best. My heart is still too invested in you to chance being able to say 'no' a second time tonight."

"Brad..."

"Yes, Derek?"

"I'm sorry and if it means anything to you, I love you too, buddy."

I gave him a wide, genuine smile and quickly turned to exit the room before my heart persuaded me to stay. "See you sometime next week, probably," was all I said before I left.

Once I was got home, I fought off the desire to call Jeremy. I didn't want to be alone that night, but I also wasn't up for a discussion that would have to include a long rehashing of the night with Derek. My mind did that all on its own after sleep took over.

* * * * *

As soon as I got into the truck after a half day shift at the bank on Saturday, I sent a text to Jeremy. He called me when he got his next break at the grocery store. I didn't mention anything about the previous night, but rather just pleaded with him to come over after work. I didn't want to drop the bomb of the fiasco with Derek over the phone. He was due to get off at six and said he would bring a pizza for dinner. The tone of his voice sounded as if he was happy I had called even though it was a week sooner than I was supposed to. I smiled a lot as I busied myself cleaning up the apartment and putting fresh sheets on the bed in hopes he would spend the night and help mess them up again. I was looking at the night as a potential new beginning now that things seemed settled with Derek. When he arrived a little after 6:30, he had a twelve pack of Coke with him in addition to the pizza.

"Figured this might be a long night after your hot date with Derek last night," he teased as he shoved the rest of the sodas in the fridge after pulling two out for us to drink.

I simultaneously grinned and rolled my eyes at him. "Just be thankful you didn't get a call at 2AM," was all I offered initially. "Wait a second...how the hell did you know I saw him last night?"

"One of the cashiers and her husband were at Pufferbelly last night too, and saw you guys there. Plus, he told me yesterday that Lacy was out of town for the weekend and you were going out to dinner." Jeremy paused shortly before going on. "From the way he was acting today, I just assumed you ended up back at his place and something went down."

I reached over and opened the lid on the pizza box and took out a slice. "So tell me how he was acting and then I will fill you in on the sordid details," I proposed as I took a bite.

"I don't know exactly how to describe it, Brad," he began. "He just seemed lost somewhere between hopelessly confused and pissed off the whole day. I was in the break room when he came in to post next week's schedule, and when I innocently asked him if you guys had fun last night, he just gave me a look as if he wanted to rip my head off my shoulders. What the fuck happened between you two?"

I spent the next 20 minutes while we devoured the pizza, condensing the prior night's drama for Jeremy. He listened intently, nodding his head and occasionally adding a simple "OK" to my discourse. His eyes enlarged to the size of saucers when I told of my parting stunt of kissing Derek for the first time ever.

"No shit, Brad? You finally put a lip lock on him after all these years? No wonder he was in a major funk all day! Daaaaaamn!"

"It just happened, Jeremy. I had hit him with everything else I never had before, so I figured, what-the-hell, and kissed him too."

Jeremy seemed to be in deep thought as he finished chewing on his last slice a pizza. "Well all that explains a lot then," he finally uttered. "You do realize what you have done, don't you?"

"What?"

"Bro...you just pulled his closet door open and he has no inkling of a clue of how to deal with the light suddenly shining into it. The fact he put the moves on you last night is one thing; but you spilling your guts about being in love with him and then kissing him, too; well...let's just say that you probably woke up the beast whether you meant to or not."

"I don't know. I don't think he will ever deal with who he really is, Jeremy. He never has before."

The skeptical look I got was one that didn't need the words to be stated, but Jeremy said them anyway. "Come on Brad...you aren't that naïve. Think about it. He didn't freak out and scream did he? Did he take a swing at you? Did he throw you out?"

"Well, no."

"Then he was in the first stage of starting to deny the denial. Sure, some of the reaction was shock, but if he was also forced to hear and say words he never thought he would." Jeremy snickered and then added, "I bet his ass didn't get more than a hour or two of sleep the whole night and his morning wood was all your fault, too. No wonder allegedly straight, married boy was a grade A prick at work all day."

I sat quietly on the couch contemplating the situation as Jeremy took the now empty pizza box and cans to the kitchen. He returned with two more Cokes and snuggled up beside me with his hand draped over my thigh. I looked at him and slid my arm around his waist before speaking. "And those two words are what takes care of the whole problem, Jeremy."

"What ones are those, Brad?"

"Married boy," was all I replied with.

"Think that way if you want, but that wedding ring didn't stop him from grabbing your junk last night, did it, Brad?" As his hand inched its way up my thigh, Jeremy added one last comment before cupping my nuts through my shorts much the same way as Derek had the night before. "All I will say is, don't be surprised if something happens again. My bet is that there is at least one more act to go in this little melodrama." Before I could reply, Jeremy began licking my neck and massaging the lump that was growing in my cut offs.

I tossed my head back and moaned with deep yearning when he bit down on my ear lobe. I reached over and groped the impressive bulge I found in his work khakis. We both let out a pair of throaty gasps as I manhandled him. "Fuck, have I missed this," I declared. Instantly, Derek and the previous night faded from my mind as I let three weeks of built up passion begin to burst free.

Jeremy only nodded, jerked my face to his, and sucked my taste bulb back into his mouth. We kissed and licked and moaned and groaned and felt each other up through our clothes for several long minutes. My shorts were soon being undone by his nimble fingers and I wiggled out of my white tee. I then peeled his work polo up his torso and over his head, depositing it unceremoniously on the floor at the same time his hand invaded the waistband of my full boxers. I almost instantly lost my two day load as Jeremy captured my cock with his hand and tugged roughly at it. After a little more teasing from his palm and fingers, he tucked the elastic of my undies under my balls and grinned at me. Then he stood up and while looking at me lasciviously, began to strip off his pants. I reached out to rub the erection that was barely hiding in his tight bikini briefs, but he brushed my hand aside and dropped to his knees between my legs. "You first," was his demand. I sat almost hypnotized, watching intently as he leaned in and took me in his mouth. My hands went to his thick mop and played in his hair and tickled his ears as he slobbered all over my begging cock.

I felt an all-too-soon tremble in my groin. Not wanting this to end too quickly, I managed to get him to stop and stand back up. "My turn stud," was the order I gave as I scooted forward on the couch and helped him get his skimpy underwear down his thighs. I looked up to his eyes before impaling myself with the flesh pole that I found in them, and tantalized him with, "Feed me that monster." As soon as the tip glided over my tongue, I filled my hands with his butt cheeks and pulled him deep into my throat. After a few bobbs of my head, Jeremy laced his fingers behind my neck and his hips took up a gentle humping motion.

"You suck dick so good, Brad," slithered from his mouth. "I love face fucking your hot lips."

That only caused me to lock my lips tighter and pull him up on the couch to straddle me while he pumped my mouth. His hands were braced against the wall as he pushed in and out of me. Our eyes remained fixed on each other as I took every thrust he gave my tonsils. Suddenly one of his hands took my secreting spigot and began a slow cadence that matched the rhythmic thumps of his nut sac on my chin. My whole body began to quiver as I felt the unstoppable movement of my life juice start its final journey. I managed to mumble out "Gonna cum Jeremy," and his hand motions increased.

"I'm gonna blow too, Brad," came at almost the same instant that he pulled back to where just the tip of his mushroom was grazing my lips. As my balls gave up the fight and I began to spew one thick rope after another up his back, Jeremy cried out and exploded all over my face. By the time our bodies stopped shaking from the giant orgasms, we were laying wrapped together and Jeremy was cleaning his man milk from my nose, cheeks, and lips with his tongue and then sharing it with me.

* * * * *

We stayed a naked twisted jumble of legs, arms, and torsos on the couch and let the euphoria of after glow settle in. After many long minutes, I finally broke the silence with, "So, I take it that you were just a little on the extra horny side too?" The grin I had on my face was met with a duplicate one from Jeremy.

"Oh I think that is about as safe a bet as it is that I want an encore after we get our breath back." To reinforce the statement, his hand began teasing my wilted tool as we cuddled. "Three weeks going without any has me ready for your horn dog ass the whole night."

I laughed and groped for his deflated cock also. It was limp in my palm but still an impressive size and giving off plenty of heat. "All yours tonight, baby," was my confirmation back. We both went silent again for a few minutes until I hugged him tighter and cautiously asked, "Well Jeremy, am I forgiven for my 'lover' crack a few weeks ago?"

He rolled me over to face him and slowly stroked my hair. "There is nothing to forgive, Brad. I told you that back then." The slight pause he took said that he was searching for the right words to say to me. "But speaking of that, maybe while we are recuperating for round two, we should talk about where we go from here now."

The statement had an almost ominous tone to it and I cringed internally. After finally finding the courage to speak bluntly with Derek the previous night, it was strangely paradoxical that I was in near fear of talking the same way with Jeremy suddenly. I left the next move to him with, "OK...and..." assuming that he would continue on and let me in on what he was thinking.

"Why don't you tell me what you believe we should do, Brad? Tell me what you think and want."

My brain cells began bouncing in search of the answers to his questions. I hadn't being expected him to simply slap the subject back into my court and was totally unready. Finally, I stammered out with, "I don't really know, Jeremy. I love you and enjoy spending time with you. The sex is always fantastic. If you had asked me 24 hours ago, I would have said I wanted us to at least move to something like serious boyfriend status...but the crap with Derek last night has me all confused again too."

"All confused as in you still love him, don't you?"

"A part of me always will," I rapid fired back. "You know that."

"Yes I do, Brad. And I don't have a problem with that, but..."

"But?" I interrupted with.

"...but right now he still owns more of you than I do." The words were said softly, but hit like a speeding freight train. "I assume that you have thought about an 'us' thing the past couple of weeks while took our short sabbatical? I know I have."

"Well of course I have too, Jeremy," I confirmed. My voice dropped lower as I looked in his eyes and confessed, "As much as I want something with you, I really wanted to get it on with him last night and the idea of one more time was so tempting. I think half the reason I didn't was Lacy and the other half was you." I tacked a smile on at the end before planting a playful kiss on his nose. "Plus there is one big thing that keeps coming to center stage...I know what I can possibly have with you and that's what I will never have with him."

Jeremy tagged my nose with his lips also and then smiled before going on. "It's cliché, Brad, but 'never say never' is also a truism. You don't know what all might change...with me or Derek."

"I know what you are saying, but I also know what the odds are with him, Jeremy." I cradled up into his arms and finally asked the question I had been avoiding. "Do you not want to get serious?" I held my breath and could hear my own heart beat as I waited for his answer.

"Define 'serious' for me, Brad," he challenged.

"You know...boyfriends...exclusive...going on dates and stuff...working towards more hopefully." I sighed to myself as I heard the limp words coming from my mouth, but I wasn't sure what else he wanted to hear.

"That pretty much describes what we have had for the last few months, doesn't it, Brad? The only thing in that list we haven been doing already, is saying we were working towards something more."

"Is that something you aren't interested in?" He had me completely confused with his roundabout answers. "If you don't want a boyfriend, just say so, Jeremy."

The chortle he let loose with was unexpected. He then gripped my cock hard and grinned. "I have a boyfriend. He is cute and smart and hot as hell in the sack. And his name is Brad."

I was getting frustrated now. "So what the fuck are you saying, Jeremy?"

"I'm saying we are already doing the boyfriend thing...we just never set down any real rules because we didn't seem to need to." He abruptly shifted to total seriousness. "Let me see if I can make sense out of the way I see this for you. We have been dating for lack of a better term. We both are happy with what we have and I truly believe that you know as well as I do, that we aren't ready for the live together trick. We both have another year of school to deal with and I really think that you still have an issue or two to come from Derek. Right now, we are what you could call 'committed fuck buddies' for lack of another tag for it. Neither of us is ready to ratchet this up to full blown lover ranking...or do you think differently?"

I thoughtfully chewed on the words he had said. "I guess you are right on all of that. So we just keep going on like we have been?"

He shrugged and then said, "Pretty much. Other than we try to see a little more of each other, and staying out of other guy's beds, why should we fuck up what is working so far by slapping labels and inane rules all over it? Do you want something more?"

"No...not really. I just presumed that maybe you did...or that you didn't want anything more at all."

"I just don't want us being like so many so-called couples that rent a Uhaul after the third date and are talking about being in a long-term relationship simply because they have been screwing each other for more than a month." Before I could say anything to that, Jeremy slipped his tongue between my lips and ground his half hard cock against mine. When he broke the embrace, he added, "When I tell that certain someone that am in love with them and want to get married and have it last forever, it will be from my heart and because my mind knows its true. Until then, we celebrate what we have and maybe it grows into a white picket fence somewhere down the road. Be honest with me and yourself, Brad...you know I am not ready for that yet, and you know you have some healing to deal with too."

"You mean Derek?"

"Not just Derek, baby. You have to take the time to make sure that you aren't simply trading him in for me. I may only end up being what you needed to help put the past behind you, and if that's the case, then so be it. If it turns out to be more, then great! Let's not make it so complicated until we need too."

The wide smile on his face helped reassure me that while this was more of a new beginning for me than anything else at this point. The fact he was willing to help me walk the new path and not be alone said he truly did care. I let him seal the little pact we had made with each other with his lips. As the kissing grew more lustful, I reached down between us and found him almost fully hard again as our tongues battled in his mouth. His hand successfully sought out my own new erection and began tugging at it with furor. As he pulled on me I moved my hand under his nuts and enticed his opening with a finger. "I am so gonna eat that hot ass right here and then take you to the bedroom and give you what you will be begging for," I lustily teased as we finally came up for air.

Jeremy shifted on the couch and pulled his legs up high and wide. "That's a promise I am going to hold you to right now. Get down there and toss that salad good!"

I gave him a lecherous leer and then dived between his butt cheeks. "Don't touch that big cock until I say you can," I commanded just before my tongue went to work on his man pussy as if I would never get to eat another one again. Ten minutes later, his squirming and whimpering ceased just long enough to yank my face from his twitching hole.

"I can't take any more! Take me to the bedroom and plow my ass like it needs it, Brad!"

I grinned at his plea and together we jumped from the couch and ran to the bedroom. He was already on his knees with his butt in the air and his head buried in a pillow by the time I crawled in behind him. I had never taken him doggy style before, but a few slips and slides of my gooey cock head across his rosebud and a healthy dribble of spit from my lips was all I needed to be able to wedge it through his ring. Before I could begin to take him the rest of the way slowly, his craving took over and he pushed back into me with force. I encircled his waist with my arms and took hold of his throbbing rod. "Gonna make you howl like a wild coyote, baby," were my only words as I began stroking his tool and ramming myself in at the same time. We had a perfect rhythm going almost instantaneously, and soon the only noises in the room were combined moans, the squishing sounds as I pumped in and out of his tight ass, and the spanks of our balls together. His interior muscles gripped me tight on every thrust and I could tell I was banging his magic spot from the way he shook and cried out for more. Another four or five deep slams and Jeremy's back arched up into my chest, his nuts emptied in my pistoning hand, and my balls exploded with me buried to the hilt.