One More Time Ch. 11

More twists and turns as the long ride nears the end

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The next several months of my life seemed to just run on automatic pilot.

Classes and the job at the bank kept me totally occupied from dawn to early dusk. Studying and papers filled much of the evening hours. At times I felt as if I needed to schedule sleep and showers.

Any damage created by the Friday night fiasco with Derek seemed to disappear almost instantly on Lacy's return from West Virginia. The three of us quickly resumed the standing home cooked meal dinner date, but I managed to cut it back to every two weeks. Knowing that Derek had been willing to violate his wedding vows with me still made me a little uncomfortable being around him. Even worse, when we were alone together, he acted as if that night in his bed had never happened...or at a minimum had no intention of ever mentioning it. At one point I almost coveted his ability for denial because the incident replayed far too often in my head.

Jeremy and I were hooking up at least twice a week; during the week usually just for burgers or pizza and a good quick boink session. Saturday nights were almost always occupied with renting a few videos and him spending the night for some more intense physical encounters. Other than both of us apparently remaining chaste with others, we seemed to just let the loose relationship wander almost aimlessly. Whether it was by chance or plan, we avoided most talk of the future...or at least one that was jointly shared...and also were very sparing in the use of the love word.

I was well into the fall semester when I simply settled into the predictable ruts my life had seemingly decided to ride in for a while and tried to not let my imagination invent anything more. As much as I hated to admit it, Jeremy was right in saying that our senior year would bring enough stress without us adding a bunch of 'what ifs' to the mixture.

* * * * *

By the time the weather chilled reminding me that the holidays were drawing closer, I accepted that I wasn't dissatisfied with the way things were in my life, but at the same time I wasn't feeling overly happy either. I would soon have only one more semester to go and was questioning if Jeremy saw our shared upcoming graduations as a breakwater point for the tide we kept riding. He had constantly rebuffed my occasional suggestion that maybe I should break off all contact with Derek for a time so he would know it was over, but he also avoided saying much that included the word 'us' in the sentence. I wanted to broach the subject of the future with him, but didn't...letting my insecurities have hope that he would bring it up instead. I finally decided that if he never did, I would after the new year started. I didn't want to declare undying love for each other...just get some direction for my own sanity.

Jeremy had told me he was going home to Youngstown for a long Thanksgiving weekend with his family the week before. Due to my lack of any seniority, I was stuck with working the bank both Friday and Saturday after. Even though I could have driven down to my parent's house on Wednesday night and back Thanksgiving night, I decided to simply treat the holiday as just another day and stay in Kent. Lacy had tried to cajole me into coming with her and Derek to her parents, but I figured a bunch of munchies, a big bucket of chicken, and the TV tuned in to the football games all afternoon sounded more inviting than going through all the family meal crap as the unexplainable third wheel of their marriage. If I was going to be alone all weekend, I decided to get used to it quickly.

When I ran into town to the grocery store just before noon on turkey day, I hadn't even thought about Derek being there. Holiday or not, his position as second assistant manager had destined him to a near full shift and when he walked up beside me while waiting for my chicken to be boxed up, he was anything but happy. "Yeah I am fucking trapped here until 4PM and Lacy was still bitching up a storm about it when I left the apartment this morning. Her mom had planned dinner for 2:00 and Lacy never told her I couldn't be there that early. Of course, somehow that is all my fault," was his explanation for the bad demeanor. "Plus, we had already been arguing last night over a bunch of petty little shit and I am not looking forward to sitting around having her dad take her side in anything she brings up." My mouth had to have flown open with his next comment as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Some best man you were, Brad. You were supposed to have talked me out of getting married, dude!"

I nervously laughed, not sure just how serious that crack may have been. "Well, I did give you an option the night before," slipped out of my lips before I could stop the words.

Thankfully Derek laughed also and gave me a playful fist punch to the chest. "Yeah you did, didn't ya?" came with a grin and wink I wasn't sure how to take. "Tell the cashier I said to give you the employee discount on the stuff from the deli, bro. I've got a minor disaster back in frozen foods to take care of right now," was all he added before spinning on his heels and heading off.

The whole way back to my place, I alternated between chastising myself for letting my barely subtle comment slip out and wondering about the way Derek had reacted to it. By the time I was chowing down on my stand-in Thanksgiving dinner and getting into the first football game, I had put Derek and his idiosyncrasies concerning the two of us out of my mind. To my shock however, when I pounded off in bed later, my mind couldn't seem to keep both Derek and Jeremy from being the visions I had behind my closed eyes as I pulled on myself.

* * * * *

The next day, I got a text mid-morning from Derek telling me to call him when I could. During my lunch hour, I caught up with him. His first words were: "Are you sure there is no way you can come over for dinner tonight, Brad? I may need you to referee."

"Trouble in paradise, buddy?" was my overtly sarcastic reply.

"Big time! You don't even want to hear how things went south at her parent's house and I slept on the couch last night. She was still riding my ass when I headed out the door this morning. Dude, I need you to come over just so she will chill for a few hours."

The last thing I wanted to do was be stuck in the middle of something, but I wasn't going to put it that way to Derek. I managed to come up with enough of a passable excuse to get out of showing up.

"Thanks buddy," he said with a somewhat understanding tone to his voice. "Just do me a favor and don't cry too much at the funeral if Lacy cuts my dick off and I bleed to death...OK?" The little snort of a laugh he added told me he was at least partially kidding.

I finished off the rest of the chicken and deli sides for dinner and planted myself on the couch to veg in front of the TV. After and hour, it was obvious that Friday night television was all garbage, and I finally just clicked on the stereo and worked on a paper that was due the following week. By 10:30 my eyes and brain were tired, and I crawled into bed earlier than usually and found a peaceful sleep quickly.

* * * * *

The Saturday shift at the bank went rapidly and I was back at home before 1:30 in the afternoon. As had become habit, I rounded up all the dirty clothes and towels and bed linens and took off for the weekly run to the laundromat. I hated the chore, but it had also provided a way to occupy myself an Saturday afternoons since Jeremy was usually at work until 6. I had already stuffed the second washer full before I remembered that he wasn't coming back until sometime Sunday. A little depressed at that thought, I dropped into one of the ancient plastic chairs and started through the stack of old magazines that had been abandoned by others to occupy the time it took for clothes to wash and dry. Happily I found a bunch of new issues and the three hour task went by quickly.

Back at the apartment, I put all the clean items away in a manner my mom would have been proud of and even took the time to replace the sheets on the bed. I didn't want to bother with cooking anything and after perusing the flyers that had come in the mail, I decided to order a pizza from the one local joint that would deliver out at the lake places. While I waited, my mind wandered to how lonely the last couple of days had been. For months now, Saturday nights had been with Jeremy and I felt a little lost without him being here. I promptly dismissed the idea of calling Derek to see if he wanted to play Nintendo. Figured it would be only one of two ways at his place...either World War III was still going on, or they would be in the throes of making up...neither of which I cared to see. Going back into town to the bar later was also scratched from the list of possibilities. Finally I just stripped down to a pair of comfortable gym shorts and was aimlessly clicking the remote for the TV continuously when the knock came at the door hopefully announcing the arrival of dinner.

When I pulled the door open, I barely noticed the pizza box as my mind instantly began searching for where I knew the delivery guy from. He was my age or a year or two younger; taller at six foot or so; was rather cute in a skater boy kind of way; had long brown hair that fell clear to his shoulders; and deep blue eyes that were impossible to miss. 'One of my classes maybe...or perhaps a bank customer,' I thought to myself. As I permitted my eyes to stealthily cruise his body, I felt a twitch in my groin and asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"$15.58," was the one word reply he offered at first. Then without warning, he added, "Unless you want the $50.00 pizza and blow job special we have going right now." The grin on his face was followed by him looking me up and down like a magazine centerfold. He balanced the pizza box in one hand and casually slid the palm of the other over the bulge in his tight jeans as his eyes fixed on my naked upper torso. "If had seen those pecs at the bar, I would have hit on you, dude," came out next and told me where I had seen him before. "Wish I had time for quickie," spurted out at the same time his hand traveled to my crotch and squeezed.

I boned instantly at the attention and was scrambling for the right thing to say. The brain in my big head died and the one in my little head was desperately trying to convince me to have some fun. Every gay man has a fantasy that includes a hot pizza delivery guy, and this one had come to life on my doorstep! "Wish I could, but I am kinda in a relationship, man," was all I managed to finally utter hoping it would break the spell he was casting on me.

That got me another healthy grope and a grin. "Nice meat you're packing...he is a lucky guy. My name's Aaron...I'll write my number on the receipt...just let me know if things change, stud." With that comment, his hand went to work adding a set of digits I knew I would never need to the slip on top of the pizza box. We finished up our business with me giving him a twenty and telling him to keep the change, but I watched his tempting ass walk all the way back to his car. Before I ever grabbed the first slice, I found a pizza boy porno on the internet, yanked off my shorts, and stroked off thinking about whether I should have just walked on the wild side for once.

I was laying on the couch; still naked and half zonked out from eating too many pieces of the pie; when the next knock at the door came two hours later.

* * * * *

In my half comatose state, I stumbled to the door without thinking to pull my shorts back on. I pulled it open far enough to see out and found Derek standing there. He pushed it on open and was halfway in when he looked down. "Please tell me I'm not interrupting something good, Brad." It was more of a plea than a question.

I blushed for some reason, and then headed back towards the center of the room to recover my shorts. "No...was just hanging out, Derek. Come on in."

"I can see that, bro," came with a somewhat forced laugh. "Everything is hanging out it looks like." The grin he gave me was one thing, but he glanced too long at my bare crotch I thought to myself.

As I pulled the shorts up my legs, I looked over at him. "So I've become a closet nudist. I fell asleep on the couch...what the hell time is it?" Before he could answer, I tacked on, "And what are you doing here?"

Derek's voice lowered noticeably. "It's a little after nine...and I'm looking for a place to crash for the night actually," was all he offered along with a wounded puppy dog look in his eyes.

"Oh shit," I exclaimed. "Did you two really get into it or what?"

"Oh did we," he simply announced as he headed for the fridge. "Please tell me you have a beer or at least some extra Coke and I will fill you in."

I settled onto the couch and replied, "Both...bring me a beer, too. Got the funny feeling I will need it from the way you are acting." I watched as he moved almost mechanically through the room.

Derek dropped down beside me on the couch and handed me one of the beers. After pulling the tab on his he took a large slug and then looked over at me. "First off, I am serious about needing a place to crash...Lacy basically tossed me out for the night...maybe two or three."

"Of course you can stay here," came out without any need to think. "What the hell happened, Derek," I posed just before taking a drink of my beer.

"Well...I told you at the store the other day that we had been arguing." He paused to take another drag from his can and then went on. "The condensed version is it got all crazy at her parent's house later that day, and it's been almost non-stop ever since. It came to a head about an hour ago and I made the mistake of using the words 'fucking cunt' at one point in the yelling. That got me a coffee cup zipping past my head and an ultimatum of sorts I guess. The words, best I can remember, were: 'Get the fuck out of here for a day or two and decide what this marriage means to you...if anything, you prick!' I guess you can say she was a little pissed off!"

I was floored to say the least. "Holy shit, Derek...tell me everything bro...what brought all this on?" I asked.

"Lot's of little things that turned into an avalanche. She has been going on and on about us getting a house...I don't think we are ready for the payment, but she doesn't care. I thought it was all fine until her dad announced during Thanksgiving dinner that he had made an appointment for us to see a house for sale three doors from them. I might be willing to go look at some houses to keep her happy, but there is no way in hell I am letting her think I would consider living that close to her folks. Just as that little discussion started getting tense, her mom starts in again with 'When are you two going to make us grandparents?' Then Lacy brought up yet again, how her car was worn out and needed a new one. I swear I almost lost it the way I was getting it from all three sides! The damn turkey didn't get sliced up as much as I did." Derek took a breather for a tug on his beer and then went on. "Then there is a lot of little bull shit things that have been upsetting her that got added to the list of complaints...everything from I don't make enough money for the amount of hours I have to be at the store, to calling me a sex maniac if I want laid more than twice a week, and then calling me a perv because I jack off to porn when she doesn't want to put out. I swear Brad, she has gotten all weird on me the last few months."

"Maybe it is just a bump in the road, couldn't it be?"

Derek laughed. "Bump? Dude if this was just happening when she was ragging, I could understand, but it's like she is PMS'ing three weeks a month anymore. She even made a snide crack that I was probably fucking around on her since I stopped trying to eat her or fuck her or get her to blow me every night. She doesn't want it and so I stop trying all the time and that means I am screwing around...how do you make sense out of that kind of twisted logic?"

"So what are you going to do," I queried.

"I don't really know, Brad. I'm not sure I even want to think about it tonight. Her telling me to leave for a night or two hit pretty hard."

"I can see that," I offered.

"I don't just mean fucking with my head...it's got me wondering if I should have ever got married in the first place." Derek finished off his beer and got up. "Another one for you too?"

I nodded my head and attempted to sort the myriad collection of things he had said. "You don't seriously mean that, do you Derek?" I asked when he returned with the last two beers I had.

"About maybe never should have gotten married? Not completely, but I sure never expected it to be like this either. I can't take it." He fell silent as he began to nurse his new brew.

"I wish I had some kind of answer, but damn Derek, I am clueless on what to tell you."

He gave me a smile and leaned over to hug me. "I don't expect any answers, Brad. Just the fact I have you to unload on and get some support back is all I can ask."

I smiled back at him and returned the hug he had yet to break. We sat and talked for another hour or so and worked on the last of the pizza. Derek's mood was decidedly better by the time we had washed down the last two slices with Cokes. "Thanks for feeding my ass, Brad...and giving me the couch for the night," was said with a wide smile.

"You are my best friend, Derek...there isn't too much I wouldn't do for you." The thought that raced through my mind with that comment was one I hoped didn't show on my face. Even though I knew better, I made him an offer. "You want to sleep on this thing or split the bed?"

"You sure about that, Brad? I mean after..." He left the statement to trail off for me to either finish or assume that I knew what he meant.

"Sure. Why not?" was all I gave him back rather than come out and say he was talking about the 'one more time' scene from weeks ago. I didn't want to remind him...or myself...of how bluntly I had refused his seduction and the way I talked to him that night.

"Then I am ready to hit the sheets if you are," he said as he stood up.

"I'll clean this mess up in the morning," was all I responded with as I slipped off the couch and killed the end table lamp as we headed for my bedroom. My heart was pounding and my mind was full of mixed emotions as I changed into a pair of loose boxers while he stripped down to his tight briefs. I crawled into bed and moved over enough for him to take half. He dropped in beside me and flopped to his back in silence...a quiet that remained hanging in the air for several minutes.

"You OK, Derek?" I finally mumbled out into the darkness.

"Yeah...pretty much...I guess. It's either going to work itself out or it isn't. The bad thing is, I don't think there is a whole lot I can do that will make a difference short of kissing her ass on every single item she is bitching about. I didn't realize when she slipped that ring on my finger that it would end up in my nose." Derek gave a half-hearted chuckle to that comment and gave me an elbow in the side before going on. "That's one big advantage you have, Brad...no woman is ever gonna own you, are they?"

"Just my mom and her guilt trips," was my laughing retort. I so wanted to lighten the mood for my best friend and thought some humor might help. I didn't think about it at first, but the way Derek had made the statement, was the closest he had ever come to admitting he knew I was gay. I stepped through the opening by saying, "No wife problems maybe, but being gay isn't one big party all the time either, buddy."

I could almost hear the gears grinding as Derek searched for how to respond to my bluntness. "But you are happy, aren't you?" he finally queried.