Online Dating Game

My snotty, obnoxious, priss sister enjoyed every second of it. She continuously laughing ego maniacally. While singing teasingly, "I'm cuter. I'm smarter. Everyone wants me. No one wants you except Russian hookers and fat chicks. I'm beautiful. 41 emails to 4. I win. I win. LOSER!"

"You haven't met anyone yet. No soul mate. I don't get it. What the fuck? I'd totally date me if I was a chick. I'm a freaking lawyer. I make good money. I'm cute. There is something seriously fucked up about this!"

"I haven't heard you curse this much since you lost that bet and said I cheated. Which I didn't. You're just a loser!" my sister started chanting loser again. Then she really hit me below the belt, "I bet Laura is getting plenty of emails."

I looked at her angrily. She knew she had gone too far. But I also knew she was right. I gathered up my computer silently.

"I'm sorry. Only pretty girls like me get email," Maggie smiled.

"Good luck with the internet dating."

Maggie, "I'm sure you'll meet someone. It just takes time. All the guys who contacted me want just one thing. Most of them I wouldn't date in a million years."

"All the women, obviously, don't want anything from me!"

When I got home I went online and stared at my profile. I must be doing something wrong. I have to be. It's not possible that women are not pursuing me. They should be lined up to date me.

I went online and bought a bunch of books on internet dating and dating in general. I did a search on internet dating and the internet dating sites. Suddenly, it became clear why I was bombing at internet dating.

It seemed internet dating sites had a very difficult time attracting women to their sites. Most sites would allow women to join for free but a California case had stopped them from charging different amounts for women and for men. As a result internet dating sites were flooded with dudes. Most sites claimed that they were about 50/50 ratio of men and women. But that wasn't exactly accurate.

ABC news had done a study and found that Match.com was in fact more like 41% women and 59% guys. And this included Manhattan where women out numbered guys on Match.com nearly 2 to 1. I wondered if you didn't include NYC what the ratio would be? 70 to 30? It wasn't unheard of an attractive woman getting 30 to 50 emails a day.

The hidden truth about internet dating. It was extremely difficult for guys. More and more guys were bitterly dropping of sites complaining about the lack of women or the games they were playing. They said things like, "Don't believe the commercials."

Reportedly, women either get sick of the all the "loser" guys contacting them and quit the site or get addicted to internet dating. Getting emails from 100s of guys is such a huge ego boost and women, even attractive women, tend to be very unsure of themselves. The books said even an average looking woman is a sought after commodity which soars her ego past her realistic value.

The books and searches on internet dating said, "If it was up to women to approach men, the species would have died out long ago. Internet dating is like real life, men have to go out there and approach women. Even the best looking guy will only get a handful of emails a day or week while an average looking women might get dozens. Also, when you actually go out with women from the internet, they tend to be bitches. They know they have 50 other guys in their inbox waiting to be chosen. So they can be extremely selective.

This isn't good I thought to myself. I think I'm going back to bars and singles hikes.

I thoroughly read the books. I spent hours rewriting my profile to fit into the templates. I bought ebooks on internet dating and dating in general.

My profile went from honest and heart felt to funny, fun loving, briefly romantic and informative about me back to funny. Again, I thought it was a masterpiece. But I knew even a great profile was virtually useless. The women who contacted guys reportedly tended to be the biggest players and worse looking. So following the books I wrote several great 1st emails and sent them out.

Meanwhile, my sister had started dating again. She complained about all the email she was receiving and how she had to search through them to find normal guys. What a rough life hot chicks have? Lol.

My sister in about a month had scheduled 7 dates. Of course, guys jumped at the chance to buy my sister dinner. All of which she came home bitching about how they were controlling, annoying, only after sex and numerous other things. Virtually all of the guys contacted her about going out again but my sister said get lost. Not even in a nice way.

Like I said she was a bitch. She could have just not replied but she had to tell them they were losers, control freaks or lying about their age.

I sent out dozens of emails. My carefully crafted emails got few responses. I thought about moving to NYC where the ratio was to my advantage but I enjoyed the weather in CA too much. The response rate to my funny, clever email was low, around 15%. I read woman after woman's profile and laughed bitterly. Most attractive women's profiles were a paragraph long and basically said I'm hot. Attractive woman on dating sites got results without putting out any effort. Life isn't fair.

I still wasn't in the mood for dating but I went out a couple of times. Generally, I blew off the women who contacted on their own for being either huge, not my type or it was a pain in the ass for me to get there to see them. China, England, Russia, Thailand, etc. is a little out of my driving range. Most women in CA on internet dating sites, I quickly learned, aren't worth driving over an hour to see.

I tried to follow the books I had gotten on dating. But I bombed badly when I did go out on a date. I wanted to be talkative but I never shut up. I'd forget everything I wanted to talk about. So I'd look at a cheat sheet on my phone to find something interesting to say. The women I was going out with were not the greatest quality. If I met them in real life I would have hardly noticed them. I don't want to sound conceited but they were honestly not worth my time.

After 2 months my sister had gone on 14 dates. She could have gone on 100s if she wanted to. I had gone on maybe 8. Luckily, I learned from the books to only meet for a drink not dinner or I would have wasted serious cash on the bitches.

I dated one women 6 times. She was a redhead and cute. But she never had anything interesting to say. She lived with her parents and seemed very immature for 34 year old professional. I couldn't get her in bed and when I pushed the issue she dumped me. She was playing the game I found most women on the internet play. Entertain me. I read that 30% of women have had sex on the first date with a guy they met on the internet. I don't know who that guy is but he is definitely not me.

I was a little down about the red head but I knew she wasn't the one. Though I would have liked to fuck her. After all I hadn't gotten laid in months.

I was going over to my older sister's huge house to house sit and watch the dogs. I was beaten down. Dating, responding to emails, sending emails, telephone call, having to be on all the time was exhausting. I was starting to think about giving up on dating. Especially internet dating. I knew other lawyers who used escort services. I could have a hot 22 year old in my bed tonight. But I couldn't do it. I needed to know she wanted me nearly as much as I wanted her.

The last women I went out with over the internet was a Vet, animal doctor. She had been on 40 dates in three months. And she wasn't cute. That pretty much summed up internet dating for me. It was a woman's game.

Women selected no matter what type of loser they were. I was better than that. I decided I was going to go out tonight and use some of my pick up knowledge. In bars at least I had a chance. On the internet, I was competing against 100 guys who were way to afraid to approach an attractive women. I was being cock blocked and helping to create ego maniac women. I was good but there was too much competition even for me to deal with.

As I fed the dogs and petted them, I truly appreciated their unconditional love. I rubbed my face against the mutts and allowed them to lick me. That was the best kiss I had had in months. Maybe years.

I thought to myself I think women in their 30s lose their ability to kiss. I remembered my last few girl friends. A few kisses, which were mostly bad, and then eating pussy followed by fucking. Women in their 30s fuck so they don't bother to kiss right anymore.

"The odds are just too stacked against me," I said quietly frustrated as I rubbed the dogs bellies.

The door bell rang.

"Big Brother what are you doing here?" Maggie asked when I opened the door.

"I'm house sitting. Stephanie and Paul are away. What are you doing in this neck of the woods?" I inquired.

"I had a date. I drove an hour to see the guy. He was great on the phone but in person. Not as cute and a control freak. Never stopped talking. Total jerk. A lot like you," Maggie responded as she entered the house.

"So internet dating is really working for you," I slurred back at her.

"Lots of annoying...'You're hot emails from losers. The guys who I meet are single for a reason," she told me.

"You are like the women I meet on the internet. Delusional. How many dates have you been on 15? If you can't find a guy you like from 15-20 guys that you get to chose from a catalogue than it's not the guys it's YOU," I said bitterly.

"It's not that simple. I'm picky!" she sternly replied.

"You can't even meet someone good enough to date. Please. You love the attention of the internet's desperate dudes squad chasing after you. You enjoy the cat and mouse game. You just don't want to get caught. You're looking for free entertainment and guys buying you dinner," I emphasized.

"Not tonight. I offered to pay half and the jerk took me up on it," Maggie sided.

"Good for him. He's probably the first smart guy you dated," I praised the guy who didn't fall for her bs.

"Total geek. Jerk. What are we doing? Let's raid Stephanie's wine cellar. I want some Pinot Grigio," my sister stated.

"I was about to go swimming," I told her.

"Oh, indoor pool. I remembered to bring a bathing suit. I'll go steal a bottle of wine. You get changed. I'll meet you at the pool," my sister announced the plan.

"You shouldn't drink and swim," I reminded her.

"It's only wine. You are such a geek, big brother."

It was weird lowering my body into the swimming pool as snow covered the ground outside. The water was shockingly warm as I looked up at the stars in a cloudless sky. My older sister and her husband had great jobs but they rarely went swimming in the indoor or outdoor pool. They had the great things in life that money can buy but didn't have time to enjoy them.

I swam a lap feeling my shoulder muscles tighten as I touched the wall and headed back. At 6"3 and about 195 lbs I was all lean muscle. I had the 6 packs abs and great chest that few guys my age have without looking like a steroid abuser. I was thin and could eat anything I wanted. When my nieces and nephews picked on me for getting old I told them just pray you are in as good a shape as I am when you are my age. 37 years old. I am getting old.

My sister came out carrying a bottle of wine and glasses. I swam over towards the pool steps as she carried the bottle to a table nearby. She was wearing a long white t shirt that came down past her bathing suit bottom. I couldn't tell if she was wearing a bikini or one piece. But her thin legs looked fantastic. So shapely and toned with a hint of her inner thighs as she moved gracefully. My sister walked miles on the machines at the gym 4 days a week. My nieces should pray that they are in as good of shape as my sister when they're 32.

"Do they have towels out here?" my sister asked.

"In there," I pointed to a towel holder.

My sister, "That's right." My sister smiled as she started to open the bottle of wine.

"So how do you like internet dating? I think it's a waste of time. BTW you have such man hands. That bottle of wine doesn't stand a chance. All the women seem like crazies, look nothing like their photo or female players who are looking for freebies," I stated.

My sister stopped for a second and looked at her hands. Then at me but I just kept talking so I didn't give her a chance to reply. My sister went back to opening the bottle of wine.

"How many emails have you gotten from loser guys," I asked my sister as she started pouring the wine."

"Hundreds. I don't answer hardly any of them. Just a couple. We have the advantage on the internet. Women get to select. Actually half of the guys I've gone out with are guys that I contacted," my sister revealed.

"What did you write them?"

"I said I liked your profile." my sister smiled as she walked over and handed me a glass as I sat on the step still submerged in the 80 degree water.

"That is so lame. They actually responded to that. You are lucky you are a girl," I complained. "I sent out dozens of emails and rarely get a response. What percentage of guys reply to your emails?"

My sister considered for a second and then said, "I don't know. Maybe 80-90 percent."

"80 to 90 percent," I said incredulously. At that moment, I looked over at my sister who was pulling off her white T-shirt. My sister was wearing a red bikini. Revealing but more girl next door. With the shirt covering her head. I stared at my sister's flat stomach, thin legs, small pert breast, her beautiful shoulders and collar bones. Her thighs looked hypnotizing. Her bikini bottom covered her thoroughly but when she turned I saw her ass. Like an 18 years olds. Small and tight.

Suddenly, the idea of bending my sister over the table and fucking her from behind spread through me like a wild fire being stoked by the wind. The feeling was uncontrollable lust. My sister's back was breathtaking, only the small bikini bra straps covered her skin above her waist. My sister's skin was flawless. Everywhere. No signs of being 30 plus. NO problem areas. Tall, thin, with small tits and totally stunning.

My sister turned to me and for a quick second I stared at her bikini bottoms. I tried to see any hint of her pussy lips. I quickly averted my eyes as I finished off my glass of wine. My sister picked up her glass and the bottle. She walked over and joined me on the stairs of the pool.

My sister smiled widely as she teased, "You have to accept it. I'm just cuter and everyone wants me. You are a dorky lawyer. Geek."

I hit back, "I think mom has the same bathing suit. That's not hers is it. No it wouldn't fit you up top. Looks nice though."

My sister scrunched her face, "Mom hasn't worn a bikini in her life. I look good. As all the guys on the site who are fighting over me would tell you. How many girls are fighting over you. Ah none. Even that boring red head dumped you."

"Thanks. Well, you can be proud. That's exactly what I'd want. Guys fighting over me on the internet. You are like Paris Hilton." I paused for effect, "Guys on the dating site are probably downloading your picture and you know." I moved my hand as if jerking off.

"That's gross," my sister punched my arm as she sat down placing the bottle next to her.

"You don't think some guy hasn't done that to the photo of you after you blew him off. Or rather didn't blow him off. Luckily, you didn't put a photo of you in that bikini up on the site." I tried to gross her out.

"Yuck. Desperate dudes like you. You need to get some action. How about a prostitute? Since no one on site wants you." My sister teased back.

"No thanks. I've got my hand and dating site photos of chicks in bikinis," I smiled.

"Gross. Loser," my sister slapped my shoulder again. "So how long has it been for you? Anyone since Laura?" my sister inquired seriously about my sex life. "3 and half months. You know the women I've gone out with...None of them I liked. Zero. But I would have probably fucked half of them just for the hell of it. My mindset is so AFC right now. I want to be into dating but I just can't get into it. Especially when I know these chick are getting a ton of email from other guys. I don't compete. I select," I answered. "What about you? Anyone get luck yet?"

Maggie shook her head, "I'm not answering that question. Especially to my brother."

I grabbed my sister's leg at the knee and gently squeezed, "You asked me and I answered. More wine."

I've learned always distract a woman when she doesn't want to do something. It shuts down her rational side of her brain. My sister poured me a glass of wine

My sister announced, "No one since, doctor dickless. I've met some nice guys on the site. But no one that special. To be honest, I'm just not in that mental framework. I'm coming out of a 4 year relationship. The only person I've been with in years and years. It's scary to be with someone else. I don't trust guys anymore. I have to admit I'm one of the women looking for entertainment only. Unless someone blows me away."

I looked at my sister and realized my hand was still holding her knee as I raised my glass in my other hand. "Bitch, tease, everything I hate about women on the internet. My sister," I stroked my sister's leg just above her knee and then back down to her calf. "How long has it been. 4 months?"

"Almost 5," she quickly stated.

"I don't know how women do it. I'm missing sex like crazy. You. You could have it with anyone and it's like you don't miss it at all," I questioned.

"I miss it. Believe me I miss. But unlike you guys, I need that connection. Guys will screw anything. Especially if it's half way decent looking. I need trust, commonalities, humor, feeling comfortable with someone. Most importantly trust. See I know most guys just want to sleep...fuck me." It was the first time I had ever heard my sister say fuck me. I continued to softly rub her calf.

"I like sex. Believe me I like sex. But I want everything else, too. Sex with some random guy doesn't get me what I really want. Too dangerous. Disease. My reputation. Guy could be a stalker. The downside is too high. But I'm feeling the urge." My sister smiled widely, "Some guy on the site is going to be getting lucky soon. Better than someone at work who actually knows me."

"Lucky bastard. I need to find a women at that point," I laughed. "Being a women is so easy."

"Get your period and then talk to me. Worry about getting pregnant and whether a guy is just out to fuck you or actually cares about you" my sister threw back at me.

"Hey, we have to shave."

"We have to shave too, buddy. Legs...elsewhere," My sister told as I wondered where elsewhere meant.

My sister sipped her wine as I rubbed her leg. "I'm glad I shaved my legs today. You are good at massaging legs aren't you. Brother you should put that on your profile."

"Maybe, you can write a testimonial for me telling everyone how good I am at massaging women's legs," I teased her.

"I think that'd be a little weird," my sister broke the spell. It was the first acknowledgement by either of us that her brother caressing her leg was not within the rules.

We sat in silence as my I continued to caress my sister's legs. For the first time, I wanted to move things forward. I actually wanted to fuck my sister. I knew she was horny just like me. My hand ran up above her knee to her thighs. At first on front of her leg and then bringing my hand down to the inside of her thigh. Then the outside of her leg. I watched my hand move back and forth over her leg. Maggie calmly sat there sipping her wine.

Finally, I got the nerve to look up at her. I stared into my sister's eyes for a moment. We locked eyes. I wondered what she was thinking.