Only Memories

Any man with half of a brain, is going to know his wife or lover is not going to be pleased to know he wants to see her slept with another man. Call it instinct but you know. In my case I just didn’t come right out and say so, a few little hints at first, leaving her alone for long periods of time at parties, where most everyone was drinking heavily. Carla did have a tendency to get flirty and horny when she drank, of course I was the only one who really benefited from and knew how horny Carla could get. Men were attracted to Carla, so there certainly were willing partners. I’m not naive, I realize that no matter how in love you are, there are still times when a person is physically attracted to someone else, even women. My hints were shuttle, but Carla had to have gotten them, she had to have known I wouldn’t be upset if she had sex with someone else. I surely don’t understand women, in my mind, giving her the hints that is was ok to sleep with someone else and then the opportunity, should have worked, it would have worked if the rolls were reversed.

I’m sure if there are any women reading this, they’ll understand that my plan for getting Carla in bed with someone else just didn’t work. I think, if the woman was already predisposed to cheat, maybe because her marriage was bad, it would have worked. Carla and my marriage wasn’t bad, granted our sex life wasn’t that great. Truthfully I don’t think that mattered to Carla, she loved me and that was what mattered to Carla.

My approach to getting Carla in bed with someone as I’ve told you was a failure, it took a couple of years for me to admit to myself that wasn’t going to work but I finally did. During the whole period of time my obsession grew stronger, almost overpowering, so this time my approach became bolder. My story would become boring and bogged down in detail if I explained it all, so I’ll just give you one example. Carla loves back rubs, most of the time we’d end up making love after, if I’m good at one thing it’s giving very sensual back rubs.

One night I added a twist, I pretended to be a masseur, I described him in very detailed terms. Tall, dark and handsome, you might say, although fair, blonde and handsome would be the case, if Carla was attracted to a man he would be fair skinned, have light hair and blue or green eyed. As was my normal fashion I undressed Carla as I continued my massage, always turning a back rub into a full body massage. At some point I’d always move to the front of Carla, if she was in the mood, she’d then unbutton and unzip my pants, beginning her foreplay. When she did so I depicted verbally a fairly well endowed man. Carla played along, she said "hmmmmmmmm nice." When it became real hot and heavy I dropped it the first time, but later adding in as we went along. Even to the point of saying things like wouldn’t it be nice if I really was that big, or wouldn’t it be a turn on if you really were being fucked by that big cock. Carla played along, little comments, little pleasurable noises.

The truth is I felt I was building a desire in Carla for another man, maybe I had to some extent but evidently not enough because she never acted on any of it. Maybe there were some signs of that I had, it seemed to me she’d flirt more openly now, it seemed to me she’d take a little more time checking out some of the men she’d see. Little signs, but no action.

Finally I just came right out and told her I wanted her to sleep with another man. He reaction was not at all what I expected, she was terrible hurt, she cried for hours. She didn’t talk to me for days, well we talked but it was forced on her part. In spite of my obsession, even I could see that if I continued on this way it was going to lead to the end of my marriage. I dropped it, after some time things returned pretty much to normal. I’d be stupid sometimes and drop a hint, which would start up problems again but overall I stayed away from the subject. But I hadn’t given up, I still wanted Carla to sleep with someone else, if anything my obsession had gotten worse, I now wanted to watch her do so.

My next tactic was more shuttle, more shuttle because it wasn’t my tactic, I didn’t do anything, it was someone I met. Jennifer was her name, she was a sale rep for an advertising agency. I’d met her while on a smoke break one afternoon, we both smoked but smoking was not allowed in either of our offices. We’d stand outside the building smoking and talking. When the season changed we’d smoke, talk and freeze. One afternoon Jennifer suggested we go to a near by coffee shop, it was just to cold and windy to stand there freezing our asses off.

I surely wasn’t thinking about Carla, or Carla going to bed with someone when I was with Jennifer. Jennifer was gorgeous, tall, at lease an inch taller then my 5’9", ok, my 5’ 8 1/2", she seemed taller because she always wore heals. I do like a women in heals, I’m not sure why but I do. Carla wore them to work only, she never wore them when we were together, not even when she was dressed up. I know that had to do with being taller then I was when she wore them. You can’t live with a woman and not know her tastes, Carla’s taste in men were taller then I was, Carla for some reason liked to look up at a man. Even without heals on Carla didn’t really look up at me, and in heals she looked down.

Jennifer’s hair was reddish brown, hazel colored eyes, kind of mischievousness look to her eyes, a long nose, and big succulent lips. She was heavier then Carla, but she wasn’t fat or over weight, long legs, nice rounded buns, full hips, and marvelous large breasts. If I had to chose just one word to describe Jennifer’s body, I’d use voluptuous. Her personality was much like Carla’s, but she was more boisterous then Carla was, and some what aggressive. Her dress was not at all shuttle, she dressed to show off her body, she dressed to get men’s attention. I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t attracted to her, I was, I’d be lying if I told you I wouldn’t have cheated if she’d have offered herself to me. But when I tell you I did not try to start anything, I did not come on to her, I’d also be telling you the truth. I’ll take credit for being the faithful husband, but in truth the fearful one may fit better, I feared Carla’s wrath, I feared her leaving me more then I desired Jennifer.

Over time we did become friendly, closer then just two people that shared a cigarette together. To say we were friends would be an untruth, friendly acquaintances a better fit. As faith sometimes weaves it web, Carla and I had gone out one Friday evening for dinner, afterwards we decided to go to a local bar for a drink. It just so happened that Jennifer and her husband, Matt, had also picked that bar for a drink. Jennifer came up to our table, before I could say a word she introduced herself to Carla, saying her and I were friends from work, then introduced Matt to both of us. I can’t say Jennifer asked to sit at our table, I’m not sure Jenny, that’s what we called her after we’d become friends, or should I say they’d become friends with Carla, ever asked for anything, but she did say something about joining us, and that is what they did.

I wasn’t really very comfortable about sitting with my wife, across the table with a woman that I had lusted after. One I sat with and shared coffee and a cigarette with everyday, one I hadn’t even told Carla about. Jenny’s a smart cookie, she knows men, she knew I wouldn’t have told Carla, all she said was we both had that awful habit, and we saw each other when we’d go outside to smoke. At first I didn’t think Carla and Jennifer were going to get along, they seemed to be sizing each other up, each vying for territory, staking their claim sort of speak. I’d describe it as catty, in my mind they seemed very catty to each other. In my mind, I saw their involvement with each other going no where other then down hill.

Like I said before, I don’t understand women, after that initial skirmish for dominance, neither seeming to win, they starting chit chatting as if they’d known each other for years. Typical women stuff, boring, uninteresting, but Matt and I just sat there listening. Because Matt and I were doomed from the very start. He was exactly the kind of man I don’t like, he was tall, I’m not, he had a large build, I’m thin, although I’m in good shape, but Matt was in great shape. Worst of all he had these rugged good looks that women seem to like. I’m not bad looking but I’m not ruggedly handsome, he was. Like I said, you can’t live with a woman and not know her preferences, Matt just fit Carla’s preference in men perfect. It’s not logical, I wanted Carla to fuck other men, you would have thought I would have seen Matt in a better light, she was more likely to fuck him then someone she wasn’t attracted to. I suppose Matt and I did our share of skirmishing for dominance, I was condemned to lose from the start. I was condemned to fake it, pretend I liked Matt, I had no choice as you’ll see.

If it had been up to me we would have never seen them as a couple, it wasn’t up to me. Jenny and Carla made plans to go out the very next night. Out to dinner, then dancing. It only took that one night out and Jenny, Carla and Matt became great friends, as for me, not. As I said I couldn’t like Matt, it was impossible for me to be truly a friend to Jenny, I just can’t be a friend to a woman I lust after. I think at that point I still would have had a chance to cool it, back away from them, but for my cursed obsession, you see Carla was attracted to Matt, not a full blow attraction but at least in my mind more attracted then she’d been to any other man. Now I didn’t like Matt, if I would have had a choice in the matter of whom attracted Carla, it wouldn’t have been him. The trouble was that I didn’t have that choice, and my obsession was stronger then my dislike for Matt. I wanted to see Carla with another man so badly that even thought every time I’d visualize them together my heart would sink into my stomach, I had to carry on, take this course to fruition.

We became fast friends, I use we very loosely, did most everything together, saw them at least every weekend, most of the time more often. Carla became more attracted to Matt, in a way more attracted to both of them. Jenny liked to put her hands on us, more so Carla then myself. That is Jenny’s way, she is like that with most people, Carla at first backed away from that, but as they became closer she’d gotten over her apprehension, when that happened, Jenny seemed to be more aggressive with Carla. More contact, her hands touching more then just Carla’s arms and hands. Now when they greeted each other it was with a kiss, the kiss had started on their cheeks, but was now on the lips, not really a sexual kiss, but more then just a quick pick. And I did notice that at times Carla would also touch Jenny. Did this bother me, lord no, it turned me on, what red blooded man isn’t turned on by the thought of two women making love, even if one of those women is his wife. I didn’t think Carla was bisexual, it didn’t fit my image of her but I could fantasize. Jenny on the other hand, I had a pretty good idea she was.

It was about that time I gained a ally in my quest to fulfill my desire, Jenny. One day at coffee, yes Carla knew that by now, Jenny told me her and Matt had swung before. She came right out and asked me if I’d be interested. You know what my answer was. Jenny also knew Carla well by now, she knew Carla wasn’t going to be an easy sell, but she also saw Carla’s attraction for Matt. If I’d have been a smarter man, I’d have seen more then just that, I’d have seen that Jenny’s help didn’t have much to do with me, I was in a way the third wheel, the odd man out. Jenny’s plan’s really didn’t include me, Jenny’s plan was for Jenny’s benefit, she was married to Matt so they included him, she wasn’t married to me, I was irrelevant but I was her ally. An ally in my own destruction.

I don’t need to bore you all with details, I could detail you to death, it wasn’t an easy process, it took nearly a year. The flirting increased, my interaction with Jenny became more pronounced, as Carla’s with Matt. Jenny if anything became closer to Carla. Carla did ask me if I thought Jenny was bisexual, I didn’t lie I told her I thought she was. As much as Carla tried to hide her interest in that, I knew, at the very least perked her curiosity. I had visions of a threesome, of course, a threesome with me. I used the fact that Carla seemed interested in Jenny, I made up fantasies, Carla played along. After a while I added Matt, Carla still played along, it came to the point that most of our love making involved Matt and Jenny, although only our fantasy Jenny and Matt. During this whole time our relationship with Jenny and Matt became more involved, more sexual in nature. You would have thought that when we all became so involved, when we started openly kissing and fondling the other’s mate, it would have been the end game. It wasn’t Carla wouldn’t move past that point.

Jenny felt we needed something big, a weekend away, a different environment. That is what Jenny and I planned a weekend away. I should say Jenny and Carla planned, three days and nights at an expensive hotel, an older one but elegant. Our rooms adjoined, each having a door to the other’s. The first night we arrived late, about 11:30 p.m., we were all famished, our flight had been delayed and there hadn’t been a meal served, not even the snack lunch thing. Jenny called up room service to order something, the hotel wasn’t as elegant as we had assumed, room service was closed.

Matt then suggested a restaurant he was sure would be opened, Jenny and Matt had visited here a number of times. Jenny said she didn’t want to go out, then suggested a pizza from a restaurant not to far away. Carla responded that a pizza sounded delicious. Matt objected, saying they didn’t deliver, the place would be packed and the service was always slow. Jenny responded that their pizzas were the best in the world and the wait would be worth it, then she whispered something in Matt’s ear. Matt’s attitude completely changed, he was all for him and me going out to get that pizza. I suppose I just assumed that Jenny had offered herself to him for a night of pleasure. I’m sure that if Carla had done that for me I’d have gladly changed any opinion I had.

I didn’t have a voice in the matter, I was going with Matt, even if I didn’t want to. The restaurant wasn’t as close as Jenny had let on it would be, it was a good twenty minutes walk. When we arrived it was as Matt had said it would be, packed. People were waiting outside to get in, I didn’t like this at all, I suggested to Matt we go back to another pizza place we had passed on the way. Matt refused, saying Jenny had her heart set on a pizza from here. An hour later we were able to order our pizza, that was a little after 1 p.m. at just before 2 p.m. our pizza was boxed and ready to go. As soon as we got out of the restaurant, Matt took out his cell phone, when I looked at him quizzically, he said he was just going to call the girls telling them we were on our way. It seemed like it took a long time for one of them to answer the phone, it was obvious to me that it had been Jenny who answered the phone, kind of affectionate. I was a little puzzled when Matt said it was Carla.

When we arrived back, Jenny was wearing a peach colored silk robe, very short and it was obvious that she didn’t have anything on underneath it. Carla had on one that was identical, except it was blue, again it was obvious there she wasn’t wearing anything under it. Carla was almost gushing with joy when she told me Jenny had bought it for her, while making a point to turn around and model it for both myself and Matt. Jenny grabbed my hand, saying it was time for bed, neither of us eat pizza that night, but I didn’t mind. As soon as we got into our room she ripped my closes off, pushed me on the bed, got on top of me while sliding my penis inside of her. She was so wet, she was so ready there was no foreplay at all.

I had a blissful sleep that night. When I awoke about 10 a.m. the next morning Jenny wasn’t there, I assumed she was in the bathroom, she wasn’t. As I came out of the bathroom Jenny was walking thought the adjoining door, wearing her new robe and drying her hair with a towel. She told me they’d all been up for a couple of hours, but she hadn’t woken me because she knew I needed the sleep. I went into the bathroom to take my shower, it wasn’t wet it hadn’t been used, but it was obvious Carla had just taken a shower. The thought crossed my mind that maybe something had happened, Carla had to have used their shower. I got a hard on while at the same time my heart sunk to my stomach. I had to know, after my shower I ask Jenny why she’d taken a shower in their room. She looked away from me, then said, "I just didn’t want to wake you."

The next day we spent site seeing, visited a lot of bar along the way. Carla and Jenny seemed to be whispering a lot among themselves, which I took as a good sign. Carla had coupled more and more with Matt during the day, walking next to him, sitting with him when we sat at booths in the bars we visited. After we got back to the hotel we spent a couple of hours in the hotel pool and hot tub. We were all feeling good, and we had shared a joint before going to the pool. Carla and Matt swam together, talked between themselves, a lot of giggling by Carla. When they finally sat in the hot tub they sat really close, I was pretty sure Matt was rubbing Carla’s legs under the water, again the instance hard on, this time it was obvious though my suit, but also that sinking feeling. The weekend was progressing along the lines I had hoped for, but I wasn’t feeling so wonderful about it.

That evening after dinner we found a dance club near by, Matt and Carla sat on one side of our booth, they seemed very intimate, speaking to each other in almost a whisper, showing lots of affection. The strange thing wasn’t so much that Matt and Carla seem intimate, that was the plan, even Carla knew what this weekend was for, but so did Jenny and Carla, I was nearly left out. I should have put two and two together, we’d been gone a long time the night before, if I wouldn’t have been in a lustful fog, I would have seen that was a setup. Matt had called the room, warning of our return, and then when we did get back to the room they were wearing only robes. If I’d have been looking I would have seen how much there relationship had changed, I wasn’t looking. The truth was I was stupid, Carla’s showering in their room, her telling me they’d been up a few hours, her looking away from me when I’d asked her why, her new closeness to Matt. I should have known, Jenny the night before, Matt this morning, or maybe even both of them.

It really shouldn’t have matter to me that Carla made love to them behind my back, she’d told me many times that she didn’t think even if she did want to cheat, she could do it with me there. I also should have realized that in Carla’s mind it would be cheating, it didn’t matter that I wanted her to, it didn’t matter if it was a man or a woman, in her mind it would be cheating. Cheating changes things, cheating clouds things, cheating makes you think about why your cheating, I should have known.

I didn’t put two and two together, but I figured tonight was the night. When we got back to their room I was sure tonight was the night. The atmosphere was charged, sexually charged. Jenny started it off, she turn on the radio started to dance in a very suggestive way. We were all watching her, she undid the buttons on her blouse, she took my hand, pulling me from the chair I was sitting on. Matt stepped behind Carla, put his arms around her, I watch as Carla seemed to melt back into Matt. Jenny started to undress me, unbuttoned my shirt, undid my belt, unbutton my pants, unzipped my fly, then pushed me down on the bed. She pushed my shirt off my chest and shoulders, leaving it on my arms, she grabbed the sides of my pants and underpants, I lifted off the bed as she slide them down to my ankles, my arousal there for all to see. This was perfect in my mind, I’d get to watch Carla, I’d get to fuck Jenny. What more could a man want.