Only Memories

Matt and Carla were watching, swaying back and forth to the music. Jenny got up went to them, started kissing Carla, long passionate kissing, her hands fondling Carla’s breasts. I watched as Jenny’s hands lifted Carla shirt over her head, reaching around unsnapping Carla’s bra, slipping it from her arms. Jenny’s mouth on Carla’s neck, working her way down to Carla’s breast, a moan from Carla’s lips. Matt hands moving to his pants, undoing them dropping them to the floor, stepping out of them, seeing his manhood erect against my wife’s back. The inevitable comparison, bigger, thicker, maybe even harder. Carla’s hand reaching back to caress him, stroke him. Matt’s hand unsnapping the button on the side of Carla’s skirt, unzipping it, it’s fluttering down to her feet. Carla’s hand guiding his to her breast, Jenny’s lips nibbling on the erect nipple of Carla’s other breast. Matt’s hand sliding under the band of Carla’s panties, her moan almost animalistic as his hand reached between her legs. Practiced, experiences, something often repeated, I should have seen that, I didn’t. The glazed stare in Carla’s eyes as she tried to focus on me, her words, "Jenny, I can’t," the rest lost in a whisper.

Jenny’s hand in mine, my funny scuffle as I was lead to my room by Jenny. Jenny taking me to the bed, pushing me down on it. The thought in my mind that this wouldn’t be so bad, disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to watch the deflowering of my beloved, but excited I’d be making love to Jenny. The sneer on Jenny’s face, the look of triumph in Jenny’s eyes, the words from her lips, as she turn to walk back to their room "You stupid, pathetic little man, did you really think Carla could share you, how could you know so little about your own wife." The sound of the door as it shut, the click of the lock. My trying the handle, my sliding to the floor as I found it locked, as I knew it would be. The sounds of love making, the cry’s of Carla’s passion, her moans of pleasure, Jenny’s cry’s , Jenny’s moans. Flesh against flesh, in the rhythm of intercourse. Carla’s lustful words, words never spoken between us. Hour after hour of it. My mind was filled with fantasy, I could almost see the action, my hand almost uncontrollable, as I brought myself to one orgasms after another. Silence finally silence, then sleep finally sleep.

The next morning, I found myself as I had been the night before, shirt open, pants around my ankles, dried seamen on my penis, stomach and chest, the smell of seaman strong on my body. I got up, pulled my pants up, buttoned my shirt, tried the door, it was unlocked. Upon opening it I saw the three of them in the bed, Jenny nestled in Carla’s arms, Matt’s arm across Carla’s tummy. Carla was awake, she smiled, she mouthed, "I love you." I turned around, I walked away a tear in my eyes, this isn’t how I envisioned it. I splashed water on my face, I combed my hair, I packed, took a cab to the airport. The long plane ride home, time to think, time to go over the events of the past two days, time to go over the past few mouths. The silence between us for the past few mouth, Carla trying to tell me something, always stopping before she could. I knew, I knew this wasn’t a first time thing, I’d been deceived.

Carla arrived home late Sunday night, later then we’d planned, her flight had been on time, where had she been I wondered. I couldn’t hold my piece, I accused, I screamed, I called her names. I called Jenny names, trying to place most of the blame on her.

Carla seemed to steel herself against my wrath, as if she’d expected it. She spoke slowly and deliberately, her eyes fixed on mine, her emotions hidden "Yes Mike, I cheated, I’ve been cheating, first Jenny, then later Matt. You knew how I felt, you knew I may not be able to tell you, but I did tell you Mike, this weekend was my way of telling you. I tried to let you watch, I tried to make you a part. I just couldn’t. Do not blame this on Jenny. I asked Jenny to take you away, I asked Jenny to lock the door, I told Jenny I could not share you. It was all me Mike. I never asked for this, you kindled my desire, I was happy with what we had."

I screamed, "You are never to see them again, if you do I’ll leave."

Carla’s expression changed, a sadness fell upon her face, her voice subdued but anguished, "I can’t go back Mike, I wanted to hide this from you, I don’t want to hurt you, I love you but you don’t fulfill my needs. With Jenny I feel love, more love then I knew possible, I feel a passion I never knew I could. With Matt I feel lust, he gives me pleasures I didn’t know a man could give. I could have at one time been happy with just you Mike, but now I can’t settle for what you give me, it’s not enough. I’m sorry Mike, forgive me, I can’t give Jenny and Matt up."

As Carla turned and walked out the door she’d just entered, I saw the tears well up in her eyes. As I heard the car drive away my heart broke. I knew she wouldn’t be back, she knew she wouldn’t be back. We both knew I couldn’t live with not being enough. Perhaps I was never enough, but it should have been enough for me that Carla didn’t know that.

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You all know the moral of this story, watch what you wish for, you just may get it. Carla may not have been your typical woman, most women know when their sex life isn’t fulfilling. Strangely we women are, at times, willing to live with that. Other needs are more important, the two most important, at least in my mind, are being shown a lot of loving attention and affection. I do warn you men who want your wives/partners to sleep with others, if she finds great sex, loving attention and affections from another, she going to leave you for him or her. Perhaps you can prevent that by showing lots of loving attention and affections, maybe a little practice on your sexual abilities may help some also.