Open Window

The snow that hadn't yet melted from the warmth of the house was scattered throughout his hair. "Damien?" I said my voice was smaller than I ever remember it being. "Damien?" I moved toward where he sat on the bed, reaching out to touch his arm. "Da..." He pulled away once my hand touched him, but I only moved closer. "Damien, please." This time he let me rest my hand on his forearm. In that moment, he turned toward me just enough that I could see his eyes were swelling with tears.

I could think of nothing good to say to him, and was just beginning to mentally kick myself for being a bad friend when he turned and looked me straight in the eyes. "We went to the district attorney's office first and they went through as much of the information as they had available and it all seemed ok to me. Then we went to see the lawyer the guy's family hired. He's costing them $500 an hour. That's the kind of defense that gets you a sealed record and a fine."

"We were in the office and it's like the lawyer was trying to push us. He all but told us the guy was getting off and we should be grateful if they don't sue us for pain and suffering. And we shouldn't even think about a civil suit because he'll have their finances so tied up that we should hope our grandchildren won't still be in litigation." He was trying to hold back, though a few tears still managed to break free.

"When we went to see the family I thought David and Darren were going to kill them. I was sure the police were going to be called. They had absolutely no remorse. Nikki it was worse than I could've imagined." Damien fell against my chest, wrapping his arms around my middle. I hugged his head, the only part of him in a position for me to hug. For the longest time, we just sat that way. Eventually I started to run my fingers through his hair, enjoying the softness as well as his closeness.

After a few moments, he spoke again. "Nikki, I don't know what I expected. I don't know how I'm supposed to hold up in court. I always assumed a case like this would be cut and dry. I never figured an episode of law and order.

"David it'll all work out. David will make sure your mother gets justice. He won't let this go until he gets his way. You know that about him. See all those times he really was just trying to keep you safe."

He spoke against my chest through sobs. "Do you think I'm horrible if I want the man that killed my mother dead? The DA said this wasn't his first DUI. This guy is reckless and if he had been properly dealt with those previous times my mother could still be alive."

"You're not a bad person. You loved your mother and you want justice. Don't be so hard on yourself you're not the first person to wish someone were dead. What this man did was unforgiveable and hopefully whatever you guys said to his family will start to sink in and they'll do what's right. "I feel so weak," he interjected, pushing himself away from me. "I can't believe I'm so pathetic."

"You are a good person and brave to deal with what you're going through and still being able to function."

"You're such a liar."

"Yeah, and you're a fucking douche bag, but I don't point it out all the time." The statement had its desired effect. He stared at me blankly for a second and then began to laugh, and it was a beautiful sound. My heart melted in my chest and I wished for nothing more than to be with him the way I'd always dreamed.

It took a moment for his laughing to subside, and when he resurfaced he hugged me. "Thank you for that." I resisted the urge to tell him I would be here to call him a douche bag whenever he needed, and instead hugged him tightly in return. "What do you say we get out of here? I don't care where we go, just get out for a bit."

"Okay." I stood up and looked at the duffel bag of clothing I had brought from home that sat on his floor. "Let me change and we can go." He nodded and walked out of the room, probably off to let David know that we'd be going.

I riffled through the bag and found what I was looking for towards the bottom, where I kept the clothes I was pretty sure I would not end up wearing. Slipping out of my sweat pants, t-shirt and cotton undies, I pulled on a black lacy panties and skipped the bra my boobs were perky enough to get away with it. Over it I slid on the only dress I owned. It was black and fell mid-thigh. The top was a loose halter that fell low in the front almost to my belly button one wrong move and someone was getting flashed. Finally, I put on my boots which, reached almost to my knee.

There was no mirror in the room for me to look into, which was probably good as it would have made me feel foolish to see myself dressed in such a way. I let my hair down and ran my fingers through it hoping it looked decent. I blindly added some lip gloss, eyeliner and mascara and left the room.

David sat in the living room at the bottom of the stairs. He looked up at me as I came down and did a bit of a double take. "Damn," was all he managed to get out.

"Don't you dare laugh at me?"

Unknown to me, Darren was also in the room. "Whoa, Nikki, you're a girl?"

"Very funny."

"A damn sexy girl, look at you! Come here." David stood up and motioned for me to come toward him. He spun me around and looked at me from all angles. "I stand much corrected. I now have no doubt in my mind why that little brother of mine would want you." My cheeks flushed and all I could manage in return for his compliment was a smile. Without warning he looked down at my ass, "are you wearing underwear?" He whispered in my ear. I slapped him in the arm. "What?! It doesn't look like... you're wearing something lacy under there, aren't you? No bra though right?"

I had to stand on my tip toes to get my lips next to his ear. "Don't be jealous, Davey."

Just then I noticed Damien standing in the door way to the kitchen. His mouth sat slightly open and he was staring straight at me, his eyes moving up and down my frame. "Wow." He whispered, barely audible. My heart jumped.

"So jealous." David teased behind me, pushing me toward the kitchen and patting my ass lightly. "Damien! You better get going before she comes to her senses and puts her jeans back on."

I stepped closer to Damien. "Ready?"

We went to a bar in the neighborhood, the kind with pool tables and dancing. The entire walk there, he barely spoke. Every few minutes he would look down at me, opening his mouth as if to speak, but would end up saying nothing.

My legs were starting to freeze by the time we reached the bar, making the warmth of the room amazing. The inside was fairly crowded, some people sitting at the bar, a good number dancing near the speaker system and a few scattered others playing pool. I wasn't much for pool, as Damien was well aware, having tried to teach me several times when we were younger and always failing.

We stood near the doorway for a moment before Damien leaned down to speak in my ear over the bump of the music. "Do you want to dance or something?" I nodded in agreement, removing my coat and hanging it on the guest rack. Damien had a zip up sweater on over his black t-shirt but he left that on.

He led me between the pool tables and to the dance floor with his hand on the small of my back. My head was swimming; his touch gave me goose bumps. Soon we were in the middle of the floor, completely surrounded by others dancing to the music.

At first, I felt that I must have looked foolish, with this damn dress on, but I just swayed my hips to the music and smiled when I saw that Damien was watching me. We were close, but not touching. I came into more contact with the other people around me that I did him.

About half way through the second song, he leaned down towards me, placing his hands on my sides as he did to pull me closer. "You look amazing tonight." His lips just barely brushed my ear as he said it. The sensation was almost more than I could take. Every inch of my body tingled; the sound of his voice alone was enough to send chills down my spine. A smile was all I could manage in reply.

He kept his hands on my sides as we danced in rhythm with each other, our eyes locked together the entire time. I traced my fingers along his arms, thinking about how amazing it felt when they were around me. Biting my bottom lip, it was all but impossible to suppress a smile.

I lost track of the number of songs that had gone by when he slid his hands lower to rest on my hips. In response, I wrapped my hands around his upper arms, causing us to dance much closer while still looking into the other's eyes. Our hips ground together, getting me more excited by the second. Just as I was thinking I couldn't take much more of it, he leaned down against my ear again. "I'll be right back, I've got to..." He smirked awkwardly "...bathroom. Are you okay here?"

I nodded with a smile, "I'll be fine." Giving my hips a tiny squeeze, Damien walked away from me, stopping only briefly to look back. I couldn't help but get a little giddy.

Only a few seconds passed when another guy walked up behind me and started dancing. "Hey there, sweetie," he said, "how about I help you have a good time? Girl like you shouldn't be out all alone." His breath was on the back of my neck as he placed a hand on my side, where Damien's had been not long before.

I tried to pull away from him, but he held tight, keeping me close to his body. "No thanks. I'm not alone."

"Well, if he were any good, he never would have left a thing like you all by your lonesome." He ground himself against me, causing my heart to jump in an unpleasant way.

"I can take care of myself."

"Hey, aren't you that girl that use to hang out with those Hawkins boys all the time? I don't remember you ever being so sexy." His fingers slid across my neck as he moved my hair behind my shoulder, bringing his lips close to my neck.

Jerking my shoulder to the side, I tried to get out of his grip. "I still hang with the Hawkins boys, and I happen to be here with one of them." Normally, I don't scare so easily, but realizing I was alone in the middle of the night and surrounded by drunks was not comforting. I hoped the statement came off as threatening. I was finally able to turn, getting him in front of me instead of behind.

"Oh yes," he chuckled, stopping my retreat with my front to him and pulling me closer. "I'm sure you are. Everyone knows they skipped town a while ago."

"Just as I'm sure everyone knows they came back for their mother's funeral." His hands were trying to explore a bit too much now.

"It's not nice to lie, babe." Pressing his lips against my ear gave the exact opposite effect as it did when Damien had done it. "Just be easy, have a little fun."

There was a hand on my shoulder. "Mind if I steal this one back?" The deep voice was unmistakable, even as he yelled over the music. Relief sank through me. The guy who had been trying to dance with me looked up, a bit startled. "You alright?" He said into my ear.

I nodded, glancing up at him and then back to the guy in front of me who still had his hands on my sides. "Go on, man. This beauty came with me, and that's how she's going to leave, so you should probably let go of her now." There was no threat in Damien's voice, but it was obvious that there would be soon. He may have been significantly less violent and troublesome than David or Darren, but he had always been the most protective of me, especially when it came to guys who wanted more than their welcome.

Slowly, the guy dropped his hands away from me and took a step backwards. Damien continued to stare at him until he moved away completely. "Sure you're okay?" He placed his hands back on my sides from behind, feeling warm as always, and leaned into my ear to speak. "I could hunt him down and beat him up if he got too friendly."

With an amused smile, I shook my head, leaning back to get closer to his ear. "I'm alright. You saw the worst of it, aside from him asking when I got so sexy. Creep." Damien's laugh was hearty, and I could feel it in his hands. "But really, 'this beauty'?" I said the words as if they were foul and disgusting.

His lips were against my ear, letting me feel his smile. It sent shivers down my spine. "I did tell you you look amazing, didn't I? And shouldn't you be more appreciative of me getting that guy to retreat?"

I batted my eyes at him melodramatically and put a mockingly sweet tone in my voice. "Oh Damien Hawkins, you're my hero."

"Alright, come on Miss Sarcasm, let's dance some more." Before he could move back in front of me, I placed my hands over his and, before I could second guess myself, started swaying my hips again. Mere inches separated our bodies.

At first he did not move, though he left his hands on me. I glanced over my shoulder at him with what I hoped was a coy smile. Damien's eyes had been on our hands and my hips, but when he saw me turn they came up slowly to my own. The same expression that had been on his face when I came down the stairs at his house was back, though he quickly replaced it with a smile of his own.

Pulling me backward gently, he moved in rhythm with me, my back flat against his firm chest. Once again his hands fell to my hips. I was grinding against him in time with the music, feeling his own excitement growing through his jeans.

I leaned back further and traced my fingers against the side of his face before wrapping my fingers behind his neck. Our eyes locked. His mouth hung slightly open as he looked at me, and his breathing had sped up, just like my own. After a moment, he nestled his face in the crook of my neck, not kissing but holding me closer and tickling me with his warm breath.

My hips moved in circles against him, leaving me biting my bottom lip in an attempt to contain all the thoughts and desires going through my head. He moved with me, and everyone else in the overly crowded room was gone. His erection was firm against my ass as I pushed back into him, rubbing in circles, moving up and down. One of his hands slid forward, resting flat on my stomach, just below my abs, his other hand settling on my side a little shy of by breast. He was pulling me closer to him.

I rubbed against him a bit more firmly, with the added tease of moving a bit slower. Against my neck, he let out a small groan. A million dirty thoughts swam through my head. After a few songs, his lips moved upward, once again finding my ear. "Thank you, Nikki." He whispered, "I really needed this."

I didn't want to mistake his meaning; the night was too good to be true. "Of course Damien, I know you needed to get out of the house, and you really needed a distraction." I called over the music.

"No. No, not that. I..." The next song to start was even louder than the others, and his voice was lost. I motioned to him that I couldn't hear what he was saying, so he grabbed my hand and pulled me into a tiny hallway near the back.

He turned me so my back was up against the wall, and he stood just inches in front of me. The music still echoed off the walls, but it was not nearly as loud as it had been before. "What I was trying to say was that... I didn't mean getting out of the house and getting my mind off things. I meant thank you for dressing up and dancing with me like that and letting me hold onto you and that other night in bed because it... well it made me think that David might have been right."

I looked at him, bewildered as to what he was trying to say. "Right about what?"

"About..." and before I even had time to think, his hand was on the back on my neck pulling me forward and our lips pressed together. It was a kiss full of pure passion. With one hand still on my neck, he moved his other to the small of my back and pulled our bodies together. My heart was racing. The taste of his lips was intoxicating, making me want more. I raised my hands to his neck, loving the softness of his skin, and holding him close to me. A thousand thoughts flew through my head. His strong body was pressed up against my own.

His mouth widened, and mine followed, allowing the kiss to deepen even further. The hand against the back of my neck snaked up into my hair, slipping through it gently. After an eternity, the kiss stopped and he pulled away. "About you being okay with me doing that."

"The only thing I'm not okay with is how long it took you to finally do it." With a smile, he leaned down to kiss me again, but right before our lips touched, there was a fight at the bar. In this neighborhood we knew things could get a lot worse. We both turned to see people running in every direction, trying to get out of the way.

"Damien?"

"Come on, let's get out of here." The nearest exit was toward the pandemonium, so that was the way we ran. Just was we got out of the hallway, my foot was hooked on someone else's and I fell, landing hard on my elbow. With so many people running by, I wasn't sure I'd be able to get up, so my instinct was to throw my arms over the back of my head to protect from the footsteps of others.

Damien appeared above me and grabbed me around the middle, lifting me to a standing position. "Back door." was all he said.

He grabbed my hand again and pulled me away, dashing out the door. We made it a few blocks down a dark alleyway before he stopped us behind the stairs of a fire escape. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry I let you fall. Did you get hurt?" He ran his fingers across my cheek and looked down at me as if assessing damage.

I shook my head, trying to catch my breath. "I'm fine." I was shivering from the cold -- my coat was still hanging on the rack at the bar -- but I don't think that was the only reason Damien wrapped his arms around me so tightly.

Like when I first crawled through his window, he rubbed his hands up and down my arms. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." I tried to sound as reassuring as possible, but that was hard to do when I was shaking so heavily.

"God, Nik, you're freezing, take my sweater."

"No, if I do that then you'll just be cold."

"NIk, I'm wearing just a tad bit more clothing than you are. Just take it." I shook my head. Without notice, he pulled me into him with one arm and was kissing me again. This time, his tongue snaked past my lips. My knees almost gave out, and had he not crushed me against his own body, I likely would have fallen to the floor. A ripple moved between my legs.

But before it went any further, he pulled away. "You touched it last, guess it's yours." I looked at him, confused, and noticed he was no longer wearing this sweater. It was then that I felt the weight of the fabric on my own shoulders. "Come on, let's go." He said with a wink. Accepting defeat, I slipped my arms through the sleeves of the sweater.

With a smile, he pressed his lips to my forehead and we left. We worked our way back as quickly as we could, his arms around me the entire way. They had never felt better. Within minutes we were back at the house, brushing snow off of ourselves and each other after kicking off our shoes.

He took me upstairs and to the bathroom to look at my elbow, which I had landed on harder than I thought. Damien set me up on the sink before starting to clean out the cut I had managed. Just as he finished up I looked him square in the eye. "What's the prognosis, doctor? Will I live?"

Setting his hands on my hips, he stepped so that his body was in between my legs. "I don't know what I'd do with myself if you didn't."

His eyes were purely sincere "I'm here as long as you want me."

"Niiki," his right hand brushed the hair from my face, "I want to be good enough for you."

"Do you think I spent so many years crawling through your window because you weren't? I've wanted you since I was thirteen years old." He was moving closer to me. "You should have been my first or should be my first depending on if that first time actually counted."