Opening Lines Ch. 03

Our sexual odyssey had taken yet another step, and we were both OK with how far it'd gone this time, too. What would be next? Well, there is still more to tell about our journey as a couple, but it'll have to wait until I have time to put it all down in print. In the meantime, though, Amy told me she's read my original submission "Opening Lines", and like any woman, she wants to add her two cents to our story. Since I'm supposedly the writer in the family (according to her, that is . . . I guess based on all of my years of ENGINEERING EXPERIENCE . . . but what I really think is she just didn't want to take the time to do it herself . . . yeah, that's right, Amy), she's told me what she wants to say, and I've written it down, and I've let her read it so she can be sure it says what she wants it to say (or as close as I could get, at least). So, here goes . . . Amy's view, in her own words, about everything that's happened and how it has affected us. It includes references to things which happened but I haven't yet written about, so it may be a little confusing, but rather than trying to edit it or straighten it out later, I'm just going to "let her go."

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Hi, It's me, Amy. I told my husband Tim that I wanted to put into words, as best I can, my reaction to the whole situation we experienced "That Morning", as he calls it, and to all the things that have happened to us and our marriage in the years since then. Well, here goes - -

The first thing I'd like to make clear is that I can finally admit it - - I really like sex. The odd part is that I've always felt that way. Until recently, though, for some crazy reason I can't even remember now, I didn't want my husband to know how much I liked it. Actually, sex is a beautiful, glorious expression of feelings and sensations in our bodies that simply can't be described - - can anyone really describe just how an orgasm feels? There are so many incredible ways to achieve those feelings and sensations, and those ways are limited only by the imaginations of the lovers enjoying them. There aren't any rules at all, and there aren't any barriers of any kind, that should keep a man and woman from doing something - - anything whatsoever - - with one another if it pleases both of them to do it. The way I look at it, so long as lovers are both all right with what they're doing and how they do it (and it doesn't hurt someone else along the way), there's nothing at all that should be off limits. It took me a long time to figure that out, but I know it now, and I'm still kicking myself for wasting all those years in my twenties - - my so-called "sexual prime" - - and denying myself (and my husband, too, of course) pleasures I should've been enjoying and giving all along.

I don't care who you are, if you're a woman who's totally honest with herself, you've got to admit having a nice-looking, sexy man touching you, kissing you, doing things to your body, and doing them just to please you is wonderful. If there's no guilt (and when you're having sex with your husband, or with his permission, there's nothing at all to feel guilty about), and if there's no deceit involved, the pure physical pleasure a woman gets from sex with an attractive, well-endowed guy is so, so nice. What always complicate things are the relationship issues, not the sex itself. Just think about it on a more philosophical level for a minute. There are lots of things we routinely let others do to our bodies which make us feel good - - massages, exercise, facials, pedicures, just to name a few - - and these kinds of things are all perfectly acceptable. There's not much of a difference, at least from a pure flesh standpoint, in letting someone else make the really good parts of our bodies feel wonderful, too, or in doing it for someone else.

Once I got over the shock of Tim telling me his fantasy of watching me have sex with another man, and after I read all those e-mails and chat room comments, I realized that if he wanted something like that, and I was OK with it, too, then it didn't really matter what anyone else thought. Who cares whether a "good girl" would do it? All that mattered was whether it was good for us, and whether it was good for our marriage. I confess that I don't really know all that goes on in my husband's mind. But, I had to trust what he said when he told me it excited him, and that he'd like for it to happen. In our case, I was right to trust him, and our marriage is much better off for it.

Though a little unorthodox, maybe, it's another way I can express my love for him, too. I know he likes it. In many ways, it's just like selecting a Christmas gift . . . I want to give him what he wants, even if maybe it's not something I would have picked out myself. I don't consider myself a slut or a whore, and I'm not one. Instead, I consider myself a loving partner, giving my husband what he wants and enjoying what he wants for me. What we do isn't wrong, either - - both Tim and I have enjoyed my sexual escapades with others each time I've done it, and if we're both OK with it, then the hell with what anyone else thinks. I haven't had any guilt, either, ever since that first wonderful night with Greg. Since then, I've been with other men a number of other times, including an incredibly exciting night I spent alone (with Tim's agreement, of course) with a passionate Mexican lover in his townhouse in Cancun, and a "power fuck" evening (yes, I know, it sounds pretty vulgar, but that's what it was) with a black businessman named Barry, who I met at a resort while Tim was at a training seminar. For you ladies who haven't "gone black" before, you owe it to yourself to try it, at least once. Picture a 12" log of black male flesh, as thick as a baseball bat, with a knob on it the size of a pool ball (well, almost), that stayed rock hard, no matter where I put it, and erupted like the geyser "Old Faithful" - - hot, wet and steamy. In his case, at least, the legend was sure true! If something like that didn't intimidate my husband or make him feel inferior, nothing could, and it sure didn't. And you know what, the best orgasm I had the whole trip came (bad pun) from Tim's cock in our own bed - - just the two of us - - the next morning.

Back to the points I'm trying to make. At first, I had incredible doubts about whether Tim really wanted what he said, or if he was just saying it for some other reason he wasn't telling me. I wondered if he was suggesting it to see if I'd agree, so he could use it against me somehow. I wondered if he was hoping that if I'd say yes to what he wanted, the next thing he'd ask for was if he could do it with other women, too. I wondered if he was testing me to see if I'd already done something like that (which I hadn't), and to see if I'd confess it to him. I wondered if he was bored with me and was looking for a way to ease out of our relationship by hoping I'd find someone new. I wondered about all of these things, and more, until my late night snooping on the Internet began to make me think that - - just maybe - - he really did want this kind of a thing for us. I was terrified when I took a chance and trusted him, but he's proven worthy of that trust. I know now that he loves me, more than anything and anyone, and that our marriage is strong enough to withstand anything. Every time I've done something like this since that first time in Lake Tahoe, he's always been so loving and considerate of me. I know for sure that he hasn't lost his own sexual self-esteem - - and, if anything, I find him to be even sexier than ever before. He's told me he feels the same about me, too.

Even after I agreed to try this, I had doubts. The first couple of times we went out "looking", I purposely danced a bit seductively with a couple of guys, just to see what my husband's reaction would be. Would he be jealous or angry? Would he act hurt? Would it make him doubt himself? There were none of these reactions; he handled it just fine, and when we'd go home afterward, our lovemaking was inspired and hot. So, he really did seem to like the idea.

I tell you, girls, there's a lot more I get out of it than just really great sex, too. I realize now that, subconsciously, I've always felt like I have to be the one in control when I have sex with a man. I don't know why, I just do. I think that this "control" idea was behind a kind of "I don't do that" attitude I had with my husband for a long time, but it turns out I wasn't really in control as much as I thought. I've always known he likes sex lots of different ways, especially oral sex, and I felt like I was "controlling" things if I made sure he couldn't have it his way. Actually, though, other people's attitudes were "controlling" me. Other people don't love me the way my husband does. When I take Tim's cock in my mouth, the way I know he likes, he's under my absolute "control" - - with my husband, at least, his response to good sex is to treat me the way I like to be treated . . . tenderness, considerate of my needs and wants, respect, helpfulness and all of the other traits a wife wants from a husband. Now, who thinks that's such a bad thing, huh? It's not, of course, and that's the way he's always been. My own attitudes, not my husband, got in the way of getting this kind of a response from him. How many nights did I waste, nights when I knew he wanted to slip his head between my legs and "do me" like that but I wouldn't let him? You all know how good a man's tongue and mouth can make you feel, and in Tim's case, there's no limit to what he'll do, or how long he'll do it, to pleasure me like that, if I'd just let him do it. Nowadays, I do, and he really does it, too! Now he knows he can "do me" like that any time he wants. Sometimes, I ask him to do it!

This "control" thing is an important part of it for me. My husband respects me, I think. Even in our own bedroom, he's respected whatever limits I've set for us (though I'm sure he didn't always like those limits). I know he wants me to make my own decisions, and to be responsible for my own actions. When I have sex with someone else, I'm in total control, unless I want to relinquish it, like I did one time when we went on a trip to Hilton Head. I don't have any "relationship" things to worry about with another man, either, since I'm not in it for "love", except for the love of my husband. The only way anything happens is if I want it. The only other one with any say-so is my husband (as it should be), and he says so long as I'm OK with it, I draw all the lines. I'm never pressured to do anything, certainly by the other men and not even by my husband. Tim's made it clear that this is for me as much as it is for him, and that if I don't like something, or someone, all I have to do is say so and that'll be it. My "total control" of things has actually made things even more wonderful for me sexually, and once I got past old hang-ups of what I should or shouldn't do, I've found that I like everything! Those old hang-ups are really nothing more than "controls" put on you by others, and I don't need them, any more than I need anyone else telling me what to do or not to do. Maybe I'll find something about sex someday that I don't like, but right now, all I can say is I've really liked everything that I've done for my lovers, and that they've done for me, ever since "That Morning". Wow, I'm starting to get wet and horny just telling Tim about it!

Just because I have all this "control" doesn't mean that I don't want to give something back to my husband or my lovers. Of course, I want to . . . and believe me, I do. I want to excite them, to make them fantasize about me. I want to tantalize, to tease, to inflame them. Sometimes, I even like to get a little submissive and let them run the show. I love to drive a man crazy with desire and then slowly, but surely, satisfy every one of his desires . . . and even some he didn't know he had. I'm not just a tease, either. I get a lot of pleasure from giving him pleasure, and from getting him aroused. And it gets me excited, too, when I think of someone wanting me so bad that his cock swells and starts to leak. And when I think about what I can do with his cock when it's like that, I get really aroused. I want to turn him inside out, to leave him completely drained and totally satisfied - - "all fucked out", as they say. I like a man's body, and I like making his cock get hard, and I like what it can do for me when it's hard, and I really like making a man come. I even like the taste of a man coming . . . how about that? For a long time, I was like lots of other women . . . I thought "that's too gross to be good". . . but I was wrong. I was letting what I'd heard from others (that damn "good girl" again) make my decision for me. It turns out that each guy is a little bit different from the others, just like some cookies are better than others, but every man tastes GOOD, I have found. It's odd that men are usually a lot more open-minded about the taste of sex than women, and as any self-respecting woman would be, it's hard for me to admit that a man is more open-minded than a woman about ANYTHING! But they are . . . I've even had them slip down there and "clean me up" after they've filled me up. I can't think of much (well, really, I can't think of anything right now) that I won't do for a man, or to a man, if I want to please him and make him come. The same is true for what I want from a man. I like men to "cover all my bases", if you know what I mean. My husband has really enjoyed this part of our newly broadened marriage, and so have I. A really important part of it all is that Tim's involved in it with me. On the occasions when he's there, I can see his face, touch him and make sure that he's not had a change of heart about what's going on. When he's not there, I've got a special way of telling him hot stories when I get home about what happened, and he always knows where I am and who I'm with if he's not there, so I know he's picturing me in action, and that he's "hardly" able to wait until I get home to hear about it. If he ever has a problem with what I'm doing, all of this'll stop in a heartbeat. Sure, I like it a lot, and yes, it's for me as much as for him, but I love him with all my being, with all my heart, and I'll never risk any damage to our marriage just to have sex with someone else. That was part of my reluctance to this whole thing in the first place.

Another thing I like is that when my husband's there, he gets to join in. I know he likes that part, and I really do, too. First, it reassures me that he still finds me sexually attractive. I know he likes the part about watching me, don't get me wrong, and I've gotten where I really like that, too. Sometimes, watching what I'm doing to some other guy, or what he's doing to me, gives my husband ideas about all kinds of tantalizing things we can do in our own bedroom, and he's been very creative so far! And yes, girls, that way I can get my hands (and mouth and pussy and any other place I can find) on at least two cocks at the same time. It sounds really kind of shocking, I know, but don't knock it until you try it. We ladies have three nice, wet places to put a man's hard, throbbing cock or his flickering tongue, and having "men at work" in two, or even all three, of those places at the same time is intensely pleasurable.

Even before an adventure we had in an apartment one afternoon with two guys I met at the gym, my husband and I had talked about adding a third guy to the mix, just to see how I'd like it. In fact, we had a chance to do that earlier with two pro golfers we met one night in a bar in San Diego after they'd failed to make the cut for a major tournament. I flirted like crazy with both of them, and they were ready to go for anything, I'm pretty sure. Tim, like always, said it was up to me. The idea of filling every hole I've got with the best part of a man is really exciting, and having three tongues licking me in all the right spots at the same time sounds incredibly hot, and it is, believe me. Well, I backed off at the last minute that time - - I guess I just wasn't ready yet - - but I know now that I missed out on some incredible sex that night. I've made up for lost time since then, though, including a wild night I spent following a NASCAR race . . . and I'm glad I did. The idea of having sex with several men at once may sound a little extreme, I know, but it's really fantastic with the right guys, and like I said, I can think of all kinds of amazing things to make happen with several willing studs in my bed at once, all standing at attention and ready to please.

I've kind of gotten away from the point of mentioning all of this in the first place, but I might as well mention two other topics, too - - swapping and other women.

This might sound a little odd, but I thought a whole lot more about swapping than I think Tim did. That's because the way things started out, I was always the one who got someone else to play with. Swapping, however, meant my husband could also try a little new pussy. Now, this will probably surprise you, but at first, I wasn't completely OK with him doing all those things to another woman that he likes so much to do to me! Wasn't that really being selfish, you say? Probably, but it gets back to "control" - - I don't have much of a say in what they're doing. Besides, of the two of us, Tim likes watching more than I do. In our talks, my husband's always said that his getting another woman is not important to him, and that he's perfectly OK with my being the one to have others. I believe him, too, I really do, so I've resolved in my own mind that a little swapping, every now and then, is OK if the circumstances are right, like they were one afternoon before a college football game back at our alma mater. I know Tim had a fantastic experience that day, because I saw him doing it. And I couldn't blame him . . . the woman he was with was really hot and sexy, and I've even tasted her the same way he did, so I know how good she was. If there's anything I've learned in all of this, it's not to say "no" to anything until you've thought a lot more about it and until a situation comes up where you have to consider saying it. So far, that's only happened once, at a swingers' club we visited briefly one night in Kansas City. I'm not saying that anything is wrong with clubs like that, but it certainly wasn't the right place for us.

Which brings me to the subject of other women . . . and what I mean here is other women for me, not him. I know he fantasized for a long time about seeing me with other women, because he's told me so. I'm not gay, and I'm not a lesbian, but I don't think you have to be either one to make love with another woman. Until a crazy night at the beach with my husband and my college roommate, I'd never done it, but I think each of you ladies out there would agree, if you're honest with yourselves, that you've looked at other women before and have admired their bodies . . . their softness, their femininity, and yes, even their sexiness. I know I have. A woman's nude body is beautiful - - why do you think there are so many paintings by great artists devoted solely to the female body? Even before that first time with Karin, I'd tasted myself when I kissed my husband or a boyfriend after he'd licked my pussy, and the taste and smell of a woman are natural and nice for me. I'd hugged and kissed lots of women before, too, even though not sexually and not on the lips. Before we were married, Tim was in a threesome with two women, and he said it was incredible. According to him, those women weren't gay or lesbians, either (and judging from what he's told me, they had to at least like it both ways because they sure knew how to get him off), and yet he says they touched, kissed and pleased one another that night, too. He, of course, loved it, and said they did, too. He's described the tenderness of their kisses and touches, how their tongues and fingertips so softly teased and aroused each other's bodies, and how they seemed to know just where and how to touch each other for maximum pleasure. He got a massive hard on as he described it. And you know what? I know how he feels. It's a huge turn on for a woman, too. Since that first time with Karin, I've been in twosomes, threesomes or moresomes with other women on a number of occasions, and it was magical, just as Tim described it, with them, too. If it turns out that any more women end up in bed with us, I won't have a problem with Tim enjoying them, too, if he wants - - and he hasn't not wanted to yet.