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I now knew as if I didn't already know that what they meant by social interaction and social training was to pick up sexual partners, get laid and then work on improving my sexual skills. The mocking laughter was back in head. I had another anxiety attack.
I thought this is how they begin to enslave you by not ordering you to do something but by instilling in you something very subtly so that you do it of your own volition no matter how repellent something is to you.
I went to my bed that night very bothered. What bothered me was not the idea of sex but the idea of being stalked, it excited me. I think for the first time in my life I found myself being turned on? Did those thoughts and urges come from within me or had I been subtly manipulated or programmed without my knowing into having those urges and thoughts, I wouldn't know?
I had my father's words reverberating in my head to trust no one and trust nothing. It felt like I couldn't trust my own thoughts and feelings.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 5 years agoThis, so far, is an interesting story. The lack of punctuation and poor grammar sometimes make it more difficult to understand. I would suggest using a proof reader to correct errors.
