Opposites Attract, Then Recoil Back

She looked privileged. She acted, as if she was better than me and I was beneath her and her way of thinking transcended to her dog over my dog. In truth, I'd take my lowly smart Rat terrier over her dumb Afghan hound any day. In truth, she could leash me up any day and take me for a walk on the wild side, that is.

For sure, she acted, as if she was accustomed to men waiting on her and getting her own way. If anyone looked the part of a rich bitch, it was her. I just wanted to slap her, while tearing off her clothes. I bet that would turn her on and she'd get down and dirty with me. Nonetheless, she was so wickedly pretty and hauntingly beautiful that all I could do was stare at her.

Only, as if it was our destiny and we were fated to be together, the weirdest thing is that I continued running into her. Okay, admittedly, in order to push destiny and realign fate, I took Taz to the dog park three times a day, instead of three times a week, and by taking Taz to the dog park so much, with all that exercise, he finally settled down and behaved himself. A good start, once we got past her bitchy attitude, what started our connection was the dogs. In reality, even though her dog was acting as snooty as she was, her dog really liked my crazy terrier, just as I suspected she liked me. Just as they became friends, we became friends, too, and whenever we saw one another at the dog park, we'd walk together and talk.

Of course, trying to impress her, trying to get in her good graces, as well as in her tight jeans or up her short skirt, I said whatever I thought she'd want to hear.

"Are you a vegan?" She looked at me, as if I was supposed to know what the Hell a vegan was.

Vegan? What the Hell is that? I know what a vegetarian is. They only eat vegetables or is it vegetables and fruit, but no meat. Do they eat fish? Is chicken considered meat? I dunno. I had no idea what a vegan was. Maybe it's a religion.

"Vegan? Of course. I've been a vegan for a long time," I said hoping she'd changed the subject and started sweating bullets when she didn't and asked me another related question.

"What's your favorite meal?"

Favorite meal? Okay, so a vegan has something to do with food. Gees, already she put me on the spot. It was too soon in our relationship for her to think me a liar, so I told her the truth.

"Whatever I can microwave," I said.

"Oh, so you don't cook."

"Nah, my Mom and my ex were Italians. The only time I was allowed near the stove was to get seconds. Actually, the only time I was allowed in the kitchen was to take out the trash."

"Nude Day is tomorrow," she said. I thought she said new day, not Nude Day. Mindlessly walking the dogs, I just nodded my head. "And I wanted to know if you'd like to accompany me for our Nude Day celebration."

Still thinking that she said new day and not Nude Day, honestly, just as I wouldn't know what new day was and/or who celebrates Nude Day but liberals, hippies, and bored, rich, stuck up people, I'd go anywhere she invited me to go. Even though it was a Nude Day event, it didn't occur to me that she and/or I may be naked. I just figured it was a new age event that had something to do with the planets aligning at the end of the year.

She gave me her address and I picked her up Saturday morning to attend what I thought was the new day event, but that turned out to be the Nude Day event. How bad could a new day event be? Only, I was in for a surprise by how good a Nude Day event could be. So long as I was with her, it wouldn't make a difference what the Hell kid of day event it was.

It turned out to be more of a tented fair. With people passing out flyers to make others more aware of Nude Day festivities and making people aware of all the little things that they can do to improve the environment and help save the planet. It was more of a passive event than an in your face get naked or else kind of thing. When I read the flyer and started seeing pockets of naked people, I quickly made the adjustment in my mind.

In the way that the event was presented, to be honest, with the same type of people attending both events, Nude Day went hand and hand with Earth Day. And if there was such a thing as a New Day event, these people would, no doubt, attend that, too. Only, as more people showed up to celebrate Nude Day, most people at the event, except for us were naked.

With the Nude Day holiday as obscure as Earth Day or Arbor Day and Flag Day, I couldn't help but envision a bunch of naked hippies wearing tie-dye shirts and not much else, while smoking pot or a bunch of liberals proposing that Barney Frank run for President and I was right. Yet, in her case, I imagined a bunch of women much like herself discussing save the planet type of world affairs, while talking to men wearing sports coats with elbow patches, sporting beards, and smoking pipes. At first thinking that new day was a highbrow even, I feared I'd be out of my element, that is, until she shocked me by stripping naked for the Nude Day event. To be honest, especially after seeing her naked body, I was happy to be counted as one of her contingent, especially when she stripped off her clothes and I followed suit. Honestly, I had a good time feeling a little highbrow, albeit naked, for once.

Only, when I returned to her place for a nightcap, things went a little crazy. Suddenly, she made me feel a bit backward. I was there for a drink or a cup of coffee, while getting to know her better and hoping for a kiss. She was more interested in having wild sex. I guess the icebreaker was us being naked most of the day and that had put her in the mood for romance, an understatement.

Her bedroom was more a sex den. If the Marquis De Sade was to design a modern day bedroom, this would be it. Oh, my God. She had everything. The walls were filled with sex toys and gadgets that I had no idea what they were and what they did. All I know was that I was suddenly afraid.

"How about some music," she said.

"Sure, that would be nice. Maybe we can dance and--"

"Dance?"

The only kind of dancing she had in mind was vertical dancing that was more like banging. With the music playing so seductively, she slowly started removing her clothes again, and again, I followed her lead. Only this time, her stripping naked had nothing to do with a Nude Day celebration. All she needed was a pole and that's when I spotted the pole in her bedroom. As if in a practiced move, she leapt on the pole and twirled around, before grabbing me with her legs, pulling me forward, and impaling me. Now, no longer stressed, we spend all of our time together naked and humping like dogs.

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