Ouch!

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"Just like getting some strange stuff!"
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magmaman
magmaman
2,692 Followers

"How in the holy hell did I let myself get talked into this?" I was thinking as the slightly heavy set 30 something lady left the room, closing the door.

"Take off everything from the waist down." She told me, not showing even the slightest sign of discomfort at the idea of being in a room with a naked male.

The naked male being me, of course.

Debra, my fun little Registered Nurse and wife had been playing with my stuff one evening, let's just say she does that quite a bit.

Can't say as I mind it, either.

But she stopped, making a face and stuck her finger in her mouth.

I had to giggle when after some effort, she dug out a pubic hair and held it up for me to see.

"Yuk!"

I started laughing.

"It's not funny, they keep getting stuck in my teeth." Debs complained.

"You aren't supposed to use your teeth!" I was still laughing.

"Well, why don't you try shaving it off?" She came right back at me.

"You want me to try and shave my balls?" I asked her. No way in hell was I going to to that, for one thing, it grows back in like a wire brush, and I get ingrown hairs, that hurts.

I did that once way back, the truth is it isn't easy. Men's balls are sensitive for one thing, and the skin is all wrinkled up so it's tough to get a close shave, and if you aren't careful you can end up with bandaids in a place you don't want any.

"Yes and your dick, too! That thing has these long curly hairs all over it." She was now holding me by the shaft, pointedly demonstrating the fact that I do have a rather heavy growth down there.

"Keep biting them off and pretty soon you will get all of them." I told her, my hips making a thrusting motion with a mind of their own.

Debs let go and went into the bathroom in disgust, I could hear her in there brushing her teeth.

+++

It was maybe 3 or 4 days later, I was outside trimming my prize Rose bushes, she came out and told me she was headed to town.

"OK." I said, not thinking anything of that.

Debs has a case of that common female disease, called "shopping-itus." You know what I mean, up and down every aisle in the store, inspecting every single item, comparing the price of each per ounce.

Which is fine with me as long as she doesn't make me go along because she can spend four hours getting a jug of milk.

She was back in less than two hours, nearly a record.

"Come in here, I want to show you something." I looked at her, she had one of those shit eating grins on her face.

In I went, I no more than got inside and she reached down and hiked up her dress.

Talk about balder than a billiard ball!

I grinned and reached for her, she ducked and headed for the bedroom with me hot on her heels.

Debs and I have one hell of a sex life considering that I am now 68 years old. By 68, men are supposed to be slowing down but Debra won't stand for that, she is always doing something to get me fussed up, this one was just another of those little incidents.

She does things like down in Reno where we got married she ran around the casino with no panties on, flashing me every chance she got.

I came up to the room once and she was sitting on the bed trying to find some loose stitch in her blouse that was poking her, her big round boobs hanging out in space.

A couple of guys across the way in another room were standing there watching her, she didn't seem to care but I could tell she was having fun because her nipples poke out when she gets fussy.

Yep, a little bit of an exhibitionist mixed in there, too.

Then she has a woman she works with, her name is July. I bet that is a fake name but then all of the nurses use fake names.

July does massage, nearly all of her customers are older men like me. She tries to help them with common problems, like it sometimes taking 20 minutes to take a leak, or the old root doesn't come up quite as well as one might hope.

Anyway, she booked July to come over and work with my prostate issues, think about that one for a minute.

July actually pulls on my old pecker with one hand while using her other hand to massage.....down THERE?

You know what I mean. The fact is that it helps some, too. I find myself not needing to head for the john to pee a tablespoon nearly as much.

And I have a wife that not only knows all about that but approves. But then she is a Doctor. I mean Registered Nurse. Geriatrics, too, so working with old men is just a normal day to her.

Not even a trace of jealousy or concern. I think it is because she has old guy's dicks in her hands all day every day at work.

I accused her of enjoying that part, remembering how we met. Yep, she ended up with my dick in her hands.

"You old farts will all stay at home and die if we don't do something to get you into the clinic! Besides, a good sperm sample can help us diagnose lots of problems." She told me, not a trace of bashfulness about that at all. Then she grinned at me and stuck out her tongue.

Debs doesn't actually do any of that part herself, she keeps a woman named Jennifer on staff.

I happen to know, since way back she came right into the room and yanked one of those samples out of me! And Debra of course knew all about it, then later after we hooked up she set me up with July and she knew all about that, too.

I suppose there is ethics in there and things like that, to be blunt Debs doesn't give a shit, she looks at the world and people as they are, not the way society seems to think they should be.

Lord I love that woman!

So yep. The waiting room at the clinic is always full of old coots.

Like me. And Debs way is lots better, none of this nonsense about doing thing we aren't supposed to.

Anyway, Debra's beaver was now bare and I have to say I liked that, so much so that we didn't really get into the why of anything until an hour or so later.

"Man, this is just like me getting some strange stuff!" I laughed at her. I was trying to get her to that point where she turns on the fire hose, lord can she gush if I get it just right.

I got sort of close, I think, because she turns all pink on her chest and belly when I do it right.

"I want you to get it done, too." She told me as she lay there later with her head on my chest.

"Get what done?" I asked, kind of knowing.

"Get all of that hair off!"

"You want me to shave my dick? I already told you, I don't....?" I started to say.

"No, not shaved. Get yourself waxed." She grinned.

"Waxed? What in the hell is that?" I had heard a little bit about things like that but it's what gay guys do, not old men like me.

I am not about to ever put on one of those silly thong bottoms, either, so what's the point?

Well, maybe around the house when I do one of my little strip tease dances for Debs. You guys don't need to know about that stuff though.

There was more conversation but you get the drift.

When Debs gets an idea in her head it's best to just go with the flow.

+++

I stood there, having serious reservations about this. Debs was sitting out in the waiting room reading a book when the lady named Charlene came to get me.

I know why Debs insisted on being there, too.

She knew damn good and well I would chicken out.

Probably sneak off and head out onto the jetty to go fishing, I mean, down to the dock to go fishing, Debra won't let me go out onto the jetty any more.

I am sticking to that story, anyway.

Now I was stuck in this little room, looking with suspicion at the table, a roller cart alongside with stainless steel pans, some tools and what looked like tape of some kind.

It did look a bit medical in there, not what I expected at all.

"Ready?" The lady knocked on the door.

"Just a minute." I answered back. Hell, I still had my pants on.

Sighing, I took them off, slid my briefs down my legs.

I felt completely ridiculous standing there with just my shirt on, but I got up on the table, doing my best to tug my shirt down to cover myself up.

Then I started getting a stiff one, I couldn't help it.

Hell, I didn't know this Charlene woman from Adam. Yea, I have been naked in front of the nurses, that bunch down there at the clinic seem to enjoy us standing around with our peckers hanging out.

Still. Naked, dick right out there, in front of a complete stranger, fully dressed?

A bit disconcerting. With half a hard on, she sure as hell was going to think I was some kind of pervert.

"Ready?" She knocked again.

"I guess so." The woman came in, looked at my lower body for a second and then busied herself doing something on the cart next to the table.

"First we will give you a complete wash. Lie back and pull your shirt up, please." She smiled.

Think about that one, guys. You get told to pull up your shirt in front of a total stranger?

Middle aged female stranger, me with no pants on?

I sighed, tugged up my shirt.

"Why don't you just go ahead and take it off? It's a nice shirt, I don't want to get any of this stuff on it." She smiled some more at that.

What the hell. My cock and balls were already hanging out in view, I might as well. I took off the shirt, leaned back naked as a jaybird except for my socks.

"You really do have a lot of hair there." She said, then she plastered me with some type of wet sloppy soap.

"This will soften the hairs and remove any bacteria." She told me as she began to wash me completely.

Ever have someone use both hands to wash your cock and balls?

Guess what happens. I turned a bit pink but she acted like it wasn't anything at all, then she looked at my face and I guess she knew.

"Relax, honey. Almost everyone gets an erection, I see that all the time so it doesn't bother me. In fact, it helps, it makes it easier to get all the hair off."

Her hands were still busy and she was not being the least bit coy, she had one hand wrapped around my shaft, the other rubbing briskly at my pubic hair.

"You really are a big boy, aren't you? Debra said you might act a little bit bashful but there is no reason to, I do this all the time." She grinned as she cupped my balls and gave them a gentle squeeze.

Then she had me slip down with my ass over a tray while she used a spray with warm water to rinse me. She even shoved one knee way back, reached behind between the cheeks of my ass and washed my bung hole, too.

Ever have someone rubbing your butt hole with their fingers all soaped up?

It makes the old butt cheeks clench right up, let me tell you.

"Relax, honey, I am just getting you all squeaky clean." She grinned, probing me lightly.

That's when it struck me she planned on doing that part, too.

At least it felt like she was probing me but really she was just dragging her finger back and forth. For a few seconds I sort of tightened right up since it felt like she was goosing me, but then it felt kind of good and I relaxed.

I was sort of hoping nothing was slipping out, but if it was, she didn't say anything.

It all felt like it took about a half hour but it was probably just a couple of minutes.

"There, that should do it." Charlene said, reaching for a hose.

I was still doing everything in my power to keep from getting a woody, and I was having little success.

Then there was some more spraying, finally she dried her hands and reached down to take my socks off. For some reason that was like the final act, now I really was completely stark naked.

She had me stand up and step over to a little plastic stall. My whole lower body was pretty wet, Charlene sat down on a roller stool, used a towel first and then used a hair dryer to blow me dry. That thing was kind of hot, she had my cock in one hand while she used the dryer with the other.

I was studying a painting on the wall, in my entire life nobody had ever done anything to me like Charlene was doing.

She acted all business like, as business like as it is possible to be when a person is washing someone's stuff. Hell, her face was maybe a foot from the end on my cock, which by now was acting like it was only 25 or so instead of 68.

"I can see why Debra likes you so much!" She grinned, looking up at me.

"Go ahead and hop on the table, next I will trim you."

That part went quickly, and I was damn glad she didn't touch that buzzing electric trimmer to the end my dick because if she had I might have pasted the ceiling. She was trimming it to about 1/4 inch or so.

Next came the goop. I guess it is some kind of glue or something, it felt wet and a little bit cold. She pulled a strip of something and began to press it down firmly.

Hell, this wasn't so bad, I thought.

Then she yanked!

"HOLY JESUS MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN HELL!! SHIT! OW!!" Came out of me as I sat bolt upright up and grabbed my balls.

"Oh, it's not that bad." Charlene said.

Not that bad? Not that BAD? She just ripped half of my damned NUT off, I was sure of it.

I looked down, it was still there, but damn that hurt. Charlene reached out and rubbed it for me.

That was better.

I took some deep breaths.

"Some people are more sensitive than others, sorry. Now relax and we will get through this quickly." She was smiling.

Smiling at having just castrated me, I thought.

"Lie back." She said, spreading some more of that shit on me.

"Just wait until I get you home, Debs." I was thinking.

"Ouch!" Charlene ripped another huge chunk of my flesh out. I managed to not sit up and grab my balls that time.

For the next thirty minutes Charlene tortured me, at one point I told her I was ready to confess to anything.

She just giggled.

I think she liked her job, to be frank.

Finally it looked like she was done, I had almost gotten used to that. I looked down, actually, it looked kind of neat like that. I started to get up.

"I need you to turn over, onto your knees." Charlene told me.

"What?"

"Turn over, onto your knees. I have to get the rest." She was still smiling.

"Fucking sadistic bitch." I thought. No way in hell was I going to let her do that.

"Come on, it will just take a few seconds."

I rolled over, now I was on my face with my ass stuck up in the air and Charlene was back there looking at me.

Lord.

More goop. More yanks. Actually, that wasn't nearly as bad as when she took the hairs off the side of my nuts.

It sure as hell took longer than a few seconds, though.

"OK. Just stay like that, I want to use some powder on you." I couldn't see what she was doing but she was patting me and spreading something that felt almost slick all over my back door.

OK. I didn't mind that part.

"Roll over onto your back, honey, so I can powder up the rest." I rolled over, not really bashful any more. I was still hard as a rock, and at this point I didn't care.

Charlene spread some powder all over my now hairless cock and balls. She did the whole thing, too, I actually didn't expect that.

Then her hands began to slide up and down my length.

"Debra told me this part would be OK if you didn't mind." She smiled.

I realized that now she wasn't actually spreading any powder on me, the motions had changed completely. I looked up at her, she grinned right back and just kept on.

I didn't quite paste the ceiling but I did manage to splatter up Charlene's apron fairly well.

She didn't appear to mind that at all, in fact, her own breathing got pretty heavy so I could tell she liked doing that.

With Debs right outside the door, reading a book and knowing all about it?

Damn, I love my wife!

+++

"Well, how was it hon?" Debs asked me as I came out. She sure had a grin on her face.

"Not as bad as I expected." I told her.

"I heard you yell." She snickered.

"No shit! I only have three inches left." I laughed.

Debs just laughed as she went to the counter and paid Charlene.

Sixty bucks to get my hair yanked out by the roots? Hell, I guess I was in the wrong line of work.

Well, I don't work but I used to.

"You will need to come back in two or three weeks for a touch up, if you both come at the same time it will be half price." Charlene told me.

I thought about that for just a second.

"OK." I told her. Debs just giggled.

Debra and I went home, of course I had to show her what everything looked like. She ran her hands over me and grinned. I went in and took a shower, a long hot one.

Debs wanted to try the new me out right away, but it was around 10 that evening before things had recovered enough to work again.

Hell, I am 68 years old, what did she expect?

That Charlene lady sure knew how to drain everything there was to get, that's for sure.

She also made me forget how much it hurt.

But finally, when Debs turned around and stuck her big hairless bottom in my face, the view sort of set me off.

Sliding her lips over me helped a lot, too.

"This is sure a lot better!" I heard her mumble.

"Yea, I like it too." I answered.

Then I worried myself around until I was behind her and tried out my new condition.

"Man, this is just like getting me some strange stuff!" I teased her, making her laugh.

Then I was thinking. Charlene obviously had no real inhibitions? She had also done the same procedure on Debra?

I kind of wondered about that. Since Charlene had no inhibitions about grabbing my dick, with Debra did she..?"

Hmmmmm?

"Say, Babe? I have a question?" I asked her later. Debs was now snuggled up against me, basking in the afterglow.

"I wondered when you would get around to asking me." She giggled.

magmaman
magmaman
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AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
The tales about this pair

Have become boring.....she is a control freak and obviously like getting a bit on the side with any man or woman....basically just a fuck slut whore.....too many like her around...

ythebadgerythebadgerabout 11 years ago
It was funny!

It reminded me of a review I saw about a hair-removal gel on Amazon. This is part of a genuine review:

"Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen (by this time walking was not really possible) and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect."

tazz317tazz317about 11 years ago
SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT

no six-bits just a rinse and yank, TK U MLJ LV NV

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveabout 11 years ago
Excellent

Great change of pace. I have to say, however, this proves true love.

OUCH

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