Our Best Friends' Exes

The sun was probably shining bright over Salt Lake City by then, but we hadn't opened the curtains.

As we patted one another dry after our shower, chatting casually more like a pair of old friends than a former couple, I found I really didn't want to open the curtains any time soon. I didn't want to go downstairs for our complimentary breakfast, I didn't want to stuff everything back in our suitcases and do that ritual last comb through the room to make sure we had everything, and I sure as heck didn't want to get in the rental car and drive Jen to the airport and out of my life.

"You're having second thoughts, aren't you?" Jen asked as she rubbed my chest a great deal more than was necessary to dry it.

"How could I not, when you're dressed so fetchingly?" I asked, gazing shamelessly upon her body.

"What are you staring at?" she asked in mock annoyance, standing back hands-on-hips so I had an even better view.

"Doing my best to memorize your body," I said with a grin.

"You too, huh?" She grinned and set the damp towel on the desk chair, which neither of us had used as anything but a clothes-horse. Then she turned and sauntered over to the unmade bed and sat on the corner with her legs spread wide, her lush bush betraying just a glint of pink the way it always did when she posed like that. One thing about a love affair gone stale -- you do get wonderfully comfortable with even the most intimate of settings. "Memorize away, my friend," she cooed.

"Only a friend now, am I?" I asked, letting my towel join hers on the chair.

"As of eleven-fifty-nine last night, that's what we agreed, isn't it?" But she welcomed me as I climbed onto her and began running my fingers playfully through her bush.

"So we're living on borrowed time here in our room, huh?"

"Or fucking on it," she whispered in my ear between nibbles on my earlobe.

"Better still."

"Could you do that swirly thing with your thumb one last time?" she asked. "And two fingers?"

I grinned and decided not to tell her I'd been just about to do that anyway. I don't think Jen ever quite grasped that I loved pleasuring her just for its own sake, which was one of a dozen reasons or more why calling it off was the right thing to do. She had her reasons, I had mine, and we both knew we'd be better off going our separate ways.

But damned if the sex wasn't fantastic right down to that last time.

As I followed her order and teased her clit with my thumb and gently slipped two fingers inside her, I did my best to forget this was the last time I'd ever do it. Three years on again and off again, mostly on again, each catch-as-catch can visit on law school holidays being a little less intense, the inevitable questions approaching along with my graduation that past spring, the unavoidable conclusion that neither one of us wanted to get married...it was over. All over. And yet I still got a thrill at the beautiful grip her vagina held on my two fingers as I worked her into a beautiful loss of control.

"God, yes, do it, Tom, faster!" And though I really didn't want it to end, I obeyed. I also leaned down and kissed her breasts passionately, giving in to the fond memories that we'd always have of that summer in Mississippi and our stolen moments here and there since then. 'The ugly cousin,' 'the nerdy one,' Jimmy's first conquest from back in the day...she'd been beautiful to me then and she was beautiful to me now.

Jen's laughter and howls rang throughout the room and, I'm sure, well beyond its thin walls. Knowing this was the last time I would hear it, I comforted myself with the thrill of knowing I must be scandalizing some straighter-than-an-arrow Mormons out there. Scott and Jimmy's long-ago chauvinistic swagger about how great ugly girls are in bed came once again through my mind, unwelcome but not entirely wrong. Jen wasn't ugly, but the plain jane of her trio of friends certainly was a firecracker in the sack. Then and now and, I was sure, for all time.

"Put your cock in me!" she ordered breathlessly, grabbing at my shoulders. All at once I wanted this over with, absolutely terrified I was going to fall back in love. "Put your cock in me!" she demanded again, but that was the last thing I wanted to do. But I wouldn't leave her with an unpleasant final memory after all we'd been through. So I climbed on top and once again followed her order.

"Oh, yes!" she grunted, closing her legs around me. "Always remember...you're so good, Tom!"

"You and me both," I said, and despite my misgivings my smile wasn't forced. She was warm and wet and welcoming as ever, and just as boisterous in the heat of the moment as she'd always been. As usual I found myself wondering just what Scott and Jimmy would have had to say if only they knew how right their chauvinistic bluster was -- the shrinking violet in public was a firecracker in the sack! It was over, but damned if we hadn't milked that summer at the lake for all it was worth!

"Do it...do it...onhhhh!" I knew the signs by heart, and I picked up the pace as her moaning got more intense. Though I saw it coming, her explosive "Yessss!" was just as thrilling the last time as it had been the first. As usual, I wasn't quite sure if she noticed that I came right on her heels. This time, it turned out she was. "Good timing, huh?" she asked as I collapsed on top of her. I felt her clench her legs tighter in case I was even thinking of pulling out just yet, which I wasn't.

"We've certainly had enough practice at it," I said.

"I guess we need to shower again?"

"I guess I'd like to."

It was probably just the looming threat of check-out time that kept us in line the second time around. I did help myself to one last playful nuzzle of her neck as I was helping her on with her bra, but once we were dressed it was all business. "So..." she said when we'd finished packing and she was sitting on the bed in her jeans and pullover, her wheeled suitcase at her feet.

"So," I echoed as I opened the curtains at last. The sun was shining bright, the view of the mountains was gorgeous, and our relationship was over.

"There's just enough time for the free breakfast," she said.

I'd have rather just driven her to the airport and gotten it over with, but I kept that to myself and we were off to the elevator. Neither of us made to hold the other's hand, which was just as well. I wondered about the weather in San Francisco, where I'd moved just after graduation a few months before. It had been raining cats and dogs when I'd flown out Friday night, and I hoped the storm was over. For the lack of any other suitable topics, I said so.

"You're not going to talk about the weather at a time like this!" Jen exclaimed as she poured us both some coffee.

"There's a whole lot I'm not willing to talk about," I said. "It's been a great ride, Jen, but..." I could think of absolutely nothing to come after that "but", so I left it hanging in the air.

"It's not like we're never going to see each other again!" she said. "We can still be friends, can't we?"

"Sure," I lied. I'd tried keeping in touch with an ex a time or two before but it had never worked out. "I'll try if you want to." That wasn't a lie -- I was willing to try, though I was certain it was doomed.

"Tell me at least, you're not going to go straight to Jimmy and what's-his-name and tell them all about this weekend," she said.

"Scott," I reminded her. "And no. We email each other a few times a year now, that's it, and I've always made a point of not asking Jimmy about Angela. So of course I don't talk about you either."

"Oh, Angela still hasn't come to her senses about him," Jen said. "Last I heard she was waiting for him to propose. Stupid Southern belles just always have to wait for the man to do that."

"Sorry to hear that," I said. No need to hurt Jen with what I knew about the Wall Street beauties Jimmy had been wining and dining behind her back. He'd been doing it all throughout Angela's three years in law school, but at least they hadn't always been exclusive then. Her studies and his work at his father's firm were just too much to juggle with a relationship, they'd both agreed, but she'd been off like a shot to New York the moment she'd graduated, with a slave-wage internship and a closet to sleep in, but she and Jimmy were an official item at last. Or so she thought at least. It wasn't my bubble to burst. Angela was nearly a phantom memory to me at that point anyhow, a lovely smile and a lovely body in a black bikini on the shores of Lake Warahatchee. Sometimes when I pictured her I couldn't even be sure if it was Angela and not Shelly that I was remembering. On that thought, I at least had a way to steer our halting final conversation into safer waters. "Whatever happened to Shelly?"

"Teaching in Kansas City," Jen said. "She was in New Orleans but her school got wiped out by Katrina and she went up to Missouri to stay with some cousins, and found a new job while she was there. Still hopeless with men, from what I hear," she added with a grin. "I'm so sorry about what she put you through that summer."

"It was worth it," I said, taking her hand in mine one last time.

She drew her hand back. "Stop that before we fall in love again!" And I laughed to keep from crying.

Salt Lake City is beautiful in the summer. I told her in the car I'd heard it was amazing in the winter, with all the Christmas lights on Temple Square.

"Is that why you chose it for this?" she asked. "I never did ask why Salt Lake City of all places."

"Neutral territory," I said. "And I'd never been to Utah."

Jen seemed satisfied with that, because she said nothing else as I drove us out of the city to the airport. Her flight to Atlanta was first, I had a few hours left to kill before mine. So I dropped her off at the domestic departures entryway before I returned the rental car. "So," I said, keeping both hands on the wheel as I drew the car to a stop.

"So," she echoed. "Well, have a great trip and a great life, Tom."

"The same to you." I offered my hand and she shook it, and we looked in one another's eyes as if sussing out whether or not to kiss one last time, but neither of us made the first move. And so we left it at a handshake.

I loved my new life in San Francisco, but that town is damn expensive and I had my hands full trying to prove myself at my new job. So there wasn't a lot of time or money for dating, and for several months after calling it a day with Jen I didn't really have the desire anyway. After that there were a few dates here and there and even a couple that ended in bed, but mostly that next year or so was all about building my career, and enjoying my overpriced but beloved little apartment in Inner Sunset.

Just as I had expected, Jen and I did not stay in touch. We emailed each other about once a week for a month and a half or so. I can't recall whether it was she or I who finally did the obvious thing and stopped trying to carry on a dead conversation. Whichever of us it was, I felt nothing but relief when it ended. Any sadness I felt at the last connection to that crazy summer in Mississippi was more than offset by the sense that we'd won just by carrying on as long as we had.

Which is why I was, to be brutally frank, less than pleased on that evening a year and change after our big goodbye. It was well past office hours, but I was awaiting some documents from our Chicago office and didn't dare go home until they arrived. With nothing to do but wait, I checked my personal email, and there it was. A name I couldn't quite place at first: Angela Horton. The subject line -- "Hi, Tom!" -- had me thinking it was probably some kind of spam. But, certain that I knew the name from somewhere, I opened it anyway.

Hi Tom!

It's Angela from Lake Warrahatchee, Jen's friend. I hope you don't mind me reaching out to you like this, but I saw your e-mail address on an old mail from Jimmy when I was cleaning out my desk this week.

If you're in touch with Jimmy, you probably know I broke up with him a few months ago. It was a kind of nasty breakup, to tell you the truth, but I won't talk trash about your friend. I'm just writing because I've been trying to get back in touch with Jen. Could you pass this on to her please? Thanks!

xoxo Angela

I looked at that closing - xoxo Angela - for a nice long time. I'd barely known her, for a few weeks, several years before. But she had been pleasant company for the most part and she'd been great in navigating the waters of jealousy when both of her friends had feelings for me...it all felt too much like middle school to me now. But try as I might, I couldn't recall anything really negative about her. Except that she'd been dumb enough to fall for Jimmy - and to stay with him even after some of the whoppers he put over on her. I couldn't help but wonder just what she'd have to say about that now.

And so, mostly out of morbid curiosity, I replied.

Hi Angela,

It's great to hear from you! If you don't mind my saying so, good for you for getting rid of Jimmy. He was a friend of mine, but that just means I know all too well what a jerk he was capable of being. I hope it didn't get too bad, anyway. I'd love to hear how you're doing if you don't mind.

I'm afraid I can't help you with Angela as we broke up about a year ago. She'll have finished her master's by now, I'm guessing, so her university email address probably doesn't work anymore. But I'd love to compare memories with you!

Hugs, Tom

The "hugs" felt a bit too forward, but I figured flirting is relatively safe on an email where I didn't even know where she was - still in New York? If so, that was a pretty safe distance, after all. Maybe it was that I was lonely, maybe it was the taboo of her being my ex's close friend, maybe it was that 90% of my memories of Angela had her in a bikini and flirting shamelessly with all three of us guys, but in any event it all had my mind running wild.

Of course I told myself I'd probably never hear from her again, and of course I hoped I was wrong and of course I checked my email furtively at least twice as often as I usually do until I did hear from her again. Which wasn't long at all, I was pleased to notice.

Hi Tom,

I'm sorry to hear about you and Jen! I guess you know Shelly and I both kind of envied her, being the one among us who caught your eye, but neither of us was really surprised that she was the one who got the smart and quiet guy. Like attracts like and all that.

And yes, I know what that says about the kind of girl I was, falling for Jimmy. Please don't feel you have to hold back on him for me. I walked into this knowing he'd lied to me about his father, and that he loved to play mind games, and that he'd probably been messing around with those Wall Street girls while I was cooped up with my law books all that time. And I forgave it all because...well, you've been in love, I'm sure you understand. The good news is, it's out of my system at last!

Bonus question: Where are you now? Any chance you'll be in New York anytime? I'd love to meet for a drink and catch up.

Xoxo Angela

They envied Jen?!

When I read that, I got up from my desk and went to my window. It was long past dark and there was just one couple out for a late evening stroll. A few brightly-lit windows across the street offered a beacon in the chilly night, and I was free to envision our cabin in Mississippi and that first afternoon. Was it Angela or Shelly who drawled, "Hi, boys!" at us? Was she really showing off her breasts at us or was that just a happy coincidence of the way she propped herself up on her elbows? Just what did the other one do or say -- anything? I thought of all that, and I thought of Jimmy scheming to manipulate poor Angela until she begged him to sleep with her, and how evidently it had worked, and how all that time I'd thought she'd barely noticed me except as the one her friend was falling for.

They envied Jen!

Dear Angela,

You envied Jen? It's no matter now, I guess, but I had no idea! I'm flattered. To tell you the truth, I blushed to read that!

Listen, I feel like I ought to apologize for Jimmy. I knew he'd lied to you about his father being dead, and about us being friends since prep school (I went to public schools!). I just figured it was none of my business.

I'm in San Francisco, ever since graduation. That's three hours behind you, but would you be up for a late-night phone call to catch up? 😊

Hugs, Tom

Though I knew it was crazy given who each of our last significant others were, I couldn't help myself. She'd envied Jen! I drew the curtains and turned out the lights, and lay back on my couch to go to town on myself. Those hormone-drenched summer days, skinnydipping in the lake, only now I saw Angela instead of Jen. That I could only guess what Angela looked like naked only made it all the more fun, as I envisioned my best guess in the bright sun, in the moonlight, from the back in the water, from the front on the shore, the lovely variation of the feel of her body as opposed to Jen's, and just how lusty would she be if she had gotten her hands on me?

I had no way of knowing, but I came hard just imagining it.

Once I'd cleaned myself up a bit, I just had to drop Jimmy a line. Though it felt manipulative, I just couldn't resist.

Hey stranger,

How's life been? Loving it out here still, but the high rent and the busy schedule don't leave much time for anything but work. I don't suppose you need to hear about that, though. Worth it in the end, I'm sure!

Anyone new in your life? Can't recall if I told you I broke up with Jen last year -- amicable, but it was definitely time for us to go our separate ways -- and I think there just might be someone new. We'll see.

Later, Tom

Only after I'd sent it did I realize he didn't know that I knew he and Angela had split up. Not unless he knew Angela had told me, which didn't seem likely. Since I'd asked if he was seeing anyone new, I wondered if he'd guess I had heard from Angela. But it didn't really matter.

Or so I thought, until I got his reply the next day.

Dude!

Good to hear from you, buddy, and congrats on your new lady. But what makes you think I'd be seeing anyone new?! Don't you remember how crazy Angela was about me? Nothing's changed, she's still a total nympho for me. It's almost too much sometimes, the way she jumps my bones, but hey, I know how hard you newly minted lawyers work.

Listen, don't make any big plans for next June, all right? I'm planning to propose to Angela before Christmas and you know she won't settle for a small wedding!

Don't walk alone through the Castro, amirite?!

Jim

It was all I could do to keep from laughing as I closed my browser and forced my attention back to my work. Heaven only knew what Jimmy's angle was here, and yet I wasn't the least bit surprised with his bullshit. I didn't linger over the whole thing for very long, as Angela had also replied with her phone number and an eager invitation to use it. That, of course, had me in a hurry to quit by quitting time for once...and now I had the added conundrum of whether or not to tell her Jimmy apparently wanted his friends to think they were still together.

I opted not to. It wasn't as if Angela and I didn't both know what a terrific liar Jimmy was, after all. I had no real idea what we were going to talk about when I took a deep breath that evening on my couch and dialed her number, but I had resolved it wouldn't be that.

"Hello?" came the barely-familiar voice.

"Hi, there!"

"Tom! I'm so glad you called!"

"I said I would, didn't I?"

"Well, of course, and I remember you were the dependable one. It's just that after I overshared about envying Jen, you know..."