Our Mother has a Website

I took that doubleness further a couple of times, as well. I phoned her while I was actually inside the website - once while I was watching her eat spunk off a spoon in that ten man bukkake scene (Yes, I'd found it, of course), and another time when she was fucking herself in the arse with a monster dildo. I masturbated while I was watching those films and I talked to her on the phone at the same time. I can't tell you how excited that made me feel. I won't try.

After I'd finished my final exams, I didn't have a job and I had to go home to Mum for a while. Well, I say 'had to', but I wanted to really. I remember going back down south on the train - Mum's house is just outside London. I remember the way I felt throughout the journey. I was aroused - I had a hard-on all the way. And I felt apprehensive, because I knew I'd finally have to tell her I knew what she did for a living, and that was going to be awkward. And I felt ashamed. That's a pretty complex set of emotions to have all at once, isn't it? By the time I got to her front door I was trembling like a leaf. I was a nervous wreck.

But then, when she let me in, everything was absolutely normal. Maybe that was the strangest thing of all. It was suddenly just my mum I was talking to. She was looking very nice in tight blue jeans and a little pink top, but I didn't see her sexually. She was my mum, as she'd always been.

She kissed me and told me she was glad to see me and I kissed her back and said I was glad to be home. Then we had something to eat and we talked about my exams a bit, and about Millie and Aunt Julie and - well, I don't remember the rest, but it was all normal. That's the point. It was as if the knowledge that my mother had a dirty website had somehow slipped into a different section of my mind. I knew it was true, but I couldn't connect it to the person I was talking to.

Then, after we'd moved to the living room and she'd poured us both a whisky, she gave me a knowing little smile. And I remember exactly what she said. It was this:

'Is there something you want to tell me, Brian, or maybe ask me about?'

And my heart skipped a beat.

For quite a long time I didn't say anything. Mum just sat there in her armchair, with one slim, blue-jeaned leg crossed over the other, and she smiled at me. It was an expectant, patient sort of smile - a smile that said 'I know already, but I want to hear it from your own lips'. It was an 'I can wait forever' smile as well. And, I gradually realised, it was an intoxicating smile - because she was inviting me to cross a frontier. She was inviting me to share everything with her. She was finally inviting me all the way into her world.

I didn't know how she knew what I wanted to talk about - I didn't think about that, actually - but I knew we'd reached the nub. So, eventually, with my heart pounding, I just blurted it out:

'Millie told me you've got a website and I've seen it! I've been inside! I'm a member!'

And Mum said: 'Yes, she told me a while ago. How do you like it?'

And I said: 'It's fucking incredible! It's the most exciting thing I've ever seen!'

And Mum purred 'Thank you, darling,' and uncrossed her legs.

*****

And then we had a long conversation. Mum did most of the talking; I just threw in the occasional question. She started off by telling me what she really used to do for a living, when Millie and I had thought she'd been going to the trade fairs. She'd been in the custom porn business - British fetish porn. Back in the eighties and nineties, pornography had been illegal in Britain, so the serious stuff that got made here was mostly underground. Mum said she'd started off modelling for camera clubs - just glamour and underwear and a few arty nudes - but that, of course, had led to the harder stuff. She told me she'd done just about everything she was offered once she had the right contacts - man/girl, girl/girl, orgies, fetishes and so on - but it was all made for paying private customers, so if you weren't in the loop you'd never have heard of her.

'But I liked it,' she said. 'You probably have no idea how good it feels to walk out of your normal life three or four times a year and spend a week or two being someone completely different. I'd pack my bags and leave here as Geraldine Green, your mum and Millie's mum, and then, by the time the photographer picked me up at the station in Birmingham or wherever, I'd become Backdoor Anna, the queen of anal sex! Or Nasty Anna, the lesbian piss slut! Or Cumslut Anna, the girl who'll eat your load! And then, after a week or two of wonderful, filthy perversions, I'd come home and I'd go back to being Geraldine again. It was a fantastic life while it lasted. And I liked both parts - being Sexy Anna and being just plain Geraldine.'

While Mum was talking, I was mostly staring at her. She was sitting on the edge of her chair, leaning forward now, and she seemed amazingly eager to tell me all this stuff. And she was more than just eager - she was proud, I thought. Proud and excited about all the porn she'd made.

I told you earlier that I'd stopped thinking of Mum sexually as soon as I'd walked in the door - and that was true. But as I sat listening to her now, the sexiness came back with a rush. Mum's face was lit up, and, although she's fairly small and delicate, she seemed strong as well in some way. And she was open - completely open, both emotionally and physically. As I said, she was leaning forward as she talked to me, with her neat little bum perched on the edge of the seat, and her legs were open so I could look directly at her blue-jeaned crotch if I wanted to. At first, I didn't stare at her there. Old habits die hard and I'd been averting my eyes from the parts of women I really wanted to look at for most of my life. But then I gradually realised it didn't matter at all, and my eyes strayed back to that enticing patch of denim between her legs. And I could see she saw where I was looking - and I could see it didn't matter to her one bit. I suddenly realised I had the freedom to look at my mother as a sexual being! I think that was the first big change that happened to me that night.

Then Mum started talking about the website. The bottom had dropped out of the custom video market when porn became legal, so she realised she'd have to go online if she wanted to stay in the business. ('And I did, Brian. I really did. I love it!') She'd started the site three years ago, she said - which would have been just after I went off to university. She already had lots of contacts, so finding other models to work with wasn't hard, and she went into partnership with a bloke who did the photography and the technical stuff for the site. I felt a sudden pang of jealousy when she told me that and I actually asked 'Do you ... um ... let him fuck you, then?' She just grinned and waved it away. 'I have done once or twice,' she said. 'But we don't really hit it off in bed. Eric's your basic nerd. He's better with machines than he is with people. But I give him a handjob or a blowjob every now and then, when I think he needs calming down.'

While that news was still sinking in, she changed the subject. 'I've been talking a lot about me,' she said. 'But what about you? I bet you're a bit mixed up about this, aren't you?'

I nodded; then I gave her a rueful smile. 'More than a bit,' I admitted. 'It's turned everything upside down. I don't really know how I'm feeling from one minute to the next at the moment.'

Mum nodded back sympathetically. 'It must be complicated,' she said. 'But perhaps we can work it out this weekend. What do you think?'

I didn't know what I thought really, so I just stared at her.

'Well, listen,' she went on, 'it seems to me that if Sexy Anna's was just any old wanking site, there'd be no problem. You'd just keep dropping in there 'til you got bored. But because Sexy Anna is me, it's got a double hook. Am I right so far?'

I nodded again.

'And would you say you're obsessed with Sexy Anna at the moment?'

'Yes,' I said. 'You could say that.'

'So you're obsessed with me sexually, aren't you?'

It was difficult to agree to that one but it was also bloody obvious, so I croaked out another 'Yes'. Mum smiled.

'OK, then' she said. 'We'll have to work on your obsession, won't we?'

I nodded seriously, and I thought she was going to lay out some sensible ground rules or give me motherly advice or something. But the next thing she said knocked me sideways.

'Let's do something pervy right now,' said my mother. 'I need to use the toilet. Do you want to come and watch?'

I didn't speak. I'm sure I gasped. But that didn't faze Mum at all. She just stood up and took both my hands and hauled me to my feet.

Then she led me upstairs to the bathroom.

*****

And what happened up there was incredibly, mind-blowingly sexy, but it was also by far the strangest experience I'd had up to that point in my life. Mum was absolutely calm about what we did, but I was the exact opposite, of course.

When we got in there, she stood in front of the toilet with her chin in her hand, considering something. Then she said:

'I don't know whether to do the peeing-in-my-jeans thing, or just take them off and have a normal piss while you watch. What do you think?'

The situation was totally weird anyway, but that was like a blow to the head - well, maybe a blow to the guts or the balls, or somewhere else that's especially vulnerable. I couldn't give her a coherent answer. I just shuffled my feet and felt my face going very, very red. When I did eventually regain the power of speech, I stammered 'Up to you, Mum. Anything you - you know - want to do.' And my voice had gone husky again. Mum smiled at me and stood on tiptoe to give me a soft kiss on the mouth. 'Don't worry, Brian. You'll get used to it eventually,' she said.

Then she unbuckled her belt and began to undo her jeans. She'd obviously decided on the second option. And while she was peeling herself out of the jeans - it took a while because they were obviously a tight fit - she started to explain what she was doing.

'I think the whole point of porn is for the viewer to get a sexy shock,' she said. 'Would you agree?'

'I - I don't know,' I said. 'Maybe. Yes. I'm not sure.'

'What I mean,' said Mum, sliding the jeans down over her thighs and calves and then kicking them off, 'is that people get excited by strange sexual combinations - by mixing things up that shouldn't go together. That's what fetish is, really. Especially bizarre fetish - the kind I do.'

She was wearing one of the tiniest thongs I'd ever seen. It was black and see-thru with very, very thin strings. I could see the lips of her pussy quite plainly through it. Mum caught my eye.

'Do you like it?' she asked. 'I put it on specially.'

Then, without waiting for the obvious answer, she slipped it off and raised it her nose.

'Mmm ... on all day,' she said. 'There's quite a lot of odour. Here.'

And she handed the thong to me.

I took it and stood there with the flimsy thing dangling in my hand.

'Have a sniff,' said Mum. 'Go on! Don't be shy! It smells of cunt. My cunt! It's sexy!''

So I raised my mother's thong to my nose and inhaled. And she was right. It was a deep, dark, absolutely arousing aroma.

'If you really want to keep it, you can have it,' she said. 'But I've got a buyer lined up if you don't, so don't think you have to. There are plenty more. You can have my dirty knickers any time you like.'

Then she sat down on the toilet and spread her legs. 'OK. Here it comes,' she said. 'Watch closely now.'

And almost immediately a thin trickle of pale pee began to tinkle into the bowl.

Mum looked up at me. 'Now the thing about pissing scenes isn't the beginning,' she said. 'It's when this happens -' and, as she spoke, the stream strengthened and thickened and suddenly there was a torrent of yellow piss falling from between her thighs.

Mum grinned at me. 'You see what I mean about weird combinations - about putting different things together?' she asked cheerfully. And I did. There was my pretty, perfect, delicate mother pissing in front of me like a horse. The contrast was incredible. It was beautiful and obscene. It was delicate and gross. It was crude. It was fascinating. And my cock, which hadn't really been soft for hours, was straining to get out of my pants.

I watched her in silence until the stream subsided. Then Mum reached for the toilet paper, tore off a few sheets and folded them into a pad. And she offered it to me.

'Would you like to dry my cunt?' she asked me, smiling.

So, wordlessly, I took the pad of paper and reached in between her legs.

'Just give it a few dabs,' she said. 'But make sure you knock all the drops off.'

When I'd finished I stood back. I had her thong in one hand and the pissy paper in the other. Mum spread her legs a bit wider and edged back a little on the toilet seat. She pointed down between her legs. 'Just drop the paper in there,' she said. So I reached between her thighs and dropped it in.

'And what shall we do now?' Mum asked. 'Have you ever wondered what it would be like to piss into a woman's mouth?'

I stiffened instantly. It was as if a jolt of electricity had gone through me - forty thousand volts! It was like being struck by lightning. I was almost paralysed by excitement.

'You what!' I said.

'Have you thought about it? Have you seen it?'

'Um, yes, I've seen it,' I admitted. 'On video, you know.'

'Of course you have,' said Mum. 'So would you like to try it?'

I felt my head nodding agreement. I realised I was no longer in charge of my own reactions.

'OK, get your cock out then,' Mum said. So I unzipped myself and let the straining monster out.

She giggled. 'It may be a bit difficult to aim straight with a hard-on like that,' she said. 'But we can but try.' And she leaned forward on the toilet and opened her mouth, about an inch from my cock.

My head was spinning. I didn't really believe this was happening, but I did as I was told. I pissed.

It was pretty messy. She was right, of course. My hard-on interfered with my aim and the piss went in all directions. Quite a lot did go into her mouth, but a lot just hit her face, and a lot more fell on that pink top she was wearing. It was soaked through instantly. It's amazing how quickly piss gets everywhere.

I went on peeing on her for a long time. I was surprised at how much I had. Once I'd started, I couldn't stop. But eventually the last spurts had fallen on her, and there she was, smiling up at me with wet strands of hair stuck to her face, covered in shiny rivulets of my piss.

'See what I mean?' she grinned. 'It's all about weird combinations - my mouth, your piss, for example. And it's all about shock. Get it?'

'Yes,' I said, 'I get it.'

'That's what bizarre sex is', said Mum. 'Isn't it lovely?'

And, tremulously, I had to admit that it was.

*****

Of course, we had to clean up in the bathroom - well, Mum did anyway. I offered to help but she shooed me out and told me to stand by the door and watch. When I started to put my cock away, she said: 'No darling. Leave it out. It's pretty.'

She took her top off and her bra and then she mopped the piss off the floor. Then she had a quick shower, leaving the curtain open so I could see - and then, after she'd dried herself, she led me into her bedroom and slipped a rich red woolly sweater on. I expected her to put some more clothes on as well, but she stayed naked below the waist. Somehow the sweater she was wearing made her look even sexier than if she'd been completely nude. It was as if covering up the top of her body emphasised the fact that her cunt and arse were bare.

Of course, I still had the scene in the bathroom playing in my mind, over and over. I saw my piss going into her mouth and flowing out, and I saw her lovely smile as I pissed on her. She'd really enjoyed doing it, there was no doubt about it. So the kinky persona she projected on the website really wasn't an act. My mother enjoyed these dirty games. I could see that. She got off on them.

Mum kept her computer in the bedroom and she switched it on now. Then she pulled up a couple of chairs and motioned me to sit down. 'But you'd better take your pants off first,' she said. 'We don't want anything to interfere with your lovely prick.' So I took my jeans off and my underpants, and then I sat down next to her in front of the monitor. We were very close. I could feel the warmth of her thigh against mine and, if I glanced down, I could see her cunt. Mum noted my look and touched herself. 'I haven't masturbated yet today,' she said. 'Have you?'

I shook my head.

'Well, we'll do something about that for both of us,' she said. 'But first, let's have a look in Sexy Anna, shall we?'

She clicked into the site and began to open pictures and videos at random. As she did so, she gave a sort of running commentary.

'This was with Silvia,' she said, as a video of her fucking a blonde girl with a strap-on, anally, ran onscreen. 'She was ever so enthusiastic. She loved it. Have you ever been fucked in the arse?'

'No!' I said, shocked at the thought.

Mum smiled. 'You may come round to the idea in time,' she said, indulgently. 'A lot of wives do it for their husbands nowadays. It's getting quite popular.'

And then: 'I love it myself, of course.'

Then she opened another movie. 'This is next week's update, so you haven't seen it yet. It's dirty,' she told me.

On the screen, she was stroking an enormous cock. You couldn't see the man it was attached to - just the cock and Mum's face and hands. She spent a long time masturbating him, taking the cock in her mouth from time to time as well. Then she produced a small, flat, silvery package from somewhere and split it open. She removed a circular pink rubber from inside and popped it into her mouth, then leaned forward and took the man's cock into her mouth again. And I watched her as she rolled the condom onto his prick's end, using only lips and tongue. When she'd finished, she leaned back to admire her handy-work with her head on one side, judiciously - then she used her hand to roll the condom down over the cock's entire length. And then she began to wank him off.

He came quite quickly. I saw Mum smile onscreen as the spunk flooded into the teat at the end of the rubber and, when I glanced sideways at her, where she sat in the flesh beside me, my real mum was grinning too. I looked down and saw that her fingers were moving between her legs. She was quite unselfconscious about it.

She looked at me and paused the film for a moment. 'This is the dirty part now,' she said. 'Are you ready?'

I didn't answer and it didn't matter. She clicked on Play and I saw her onscreen self taking the condom off the penis, careful not to spill the sperm inside. When it was off, the prick withdrew and my mother's smiling face was left in the shot alone. She held the long, pink, wrinkled rubber up for a while, to show the weight of the spunk in the end. Then she dangled the loaded teat over her mouth and licked it, making it swing. And then ...

Well, you may know what was coming next, but I didn't. I swear what she did then had never crossed my mind. She threw her head back and upended the condom over her open mouth and the spunk slid down its sleazy length and plopped onto her tongue. And she smiled into the camera.

I almost gagged. It was exciting and disgusting, both at once. I'm not sure why. I don't get disgusted by seeing a man cum into a woman's mouth during a blowjob. I hadn't even been disgusted by the bukkake scene, when she'd eaten the spunk off the spoon. Maybe this time it was because I knew the spunk in the condom would have cooled. Or maybe it was just because Mum was sitting there with me, watching. Whatever the reason was, a huge wave of almost-nausea went through me. My skin went instantly cold and clammy. But my cock was suddenly super-stiff.