Our Two Girls

"Well stop flirting then," I bellowed. "I don't want to hear anything more about this."

------------------

And I didn't. Not for about a week that is, and it hadn't been the happiest week in the world in our household, and nor for that matter in my parent's either.

"I suppose Cloe's got to do what she's got to do David," my Mum greeted me with unhappily, when I popped round to see her and the three kids.

"Yes," I replied, not too happy myself to be frank with you. "Charley's got this job offer up north and Cloe and the kids have got to go with him."

"But I'll really miss the three little ones," my Mum went on close to tears. "They've really been like real grand children to me."

"I'll miss them as well Mum and they are your grand kids whoever their real Dad was."

"Yes," she replied wistfully. "David, if only ..... "

"Let's not go down that route Mum," I interrupted her. "It's not possible ---- It's not going to happen and I can't do anything about it."

"There's always hope David."

"There's always hope Mum," I tried to console her. "But adoption looks out of the question and we can't afford the other way."

"What about the third option?" Mum asked cautiously.

"Third option? What third option?"

Yes, I had a third option but that wasn't public knowledge. It wasn't anything that I even wished to discuss with my wife anymore. Surely Nina hadn't talked about it with my Mum?

"Not an easy decision David," Mum responded, trying to keep casual, though the wringing of her hands gave her away. "But maybe you ought to think about it."

"What the hell have Nina and you been talking about for Christ's sake Mother," I cried out angrily, my use of 'mother' jolting her as it was a term never used in our household.

"Nothing specific David dear. Now don't get all-uppity with me now, and don't you go blaming poor Nina either. She's really emotional about it and you know what her mother's like, so she can't talk to her about it, so she spoke to me."

"And you approve Mum?" I demanded incredulously. "You think I should let her go and fuck some other guy."

"It's not for me to approve or disapprove son," she shot back, standing up to confront me. "And don't you dare use that sort of language in front of me ever again."

"Sorry Mum," I apologized, trying to cool down. "But I hate the thought of it. I can't get the job done so I have to get some other bloke to ..... to ...... Oh hell Mum, you know what I mean ----- To have sex with her."

"Life's not always easy David," Mum carried on quietly. "Sometimes in life we have to make difficult decisions that we may not like. Do you think Charley finds it easy to drag his wife and family away from all that they're familiar with?"

"Hardly the same thing for God's sake," I pointed out the obvious.

"Perhaps not so," Mum went on again. "Your Gran and Granddad had to make some awful decisions during the last war."

"But that was ages ago, and we're not at war Mum," I responded. "Though sometimes it feels like I am."

Mum said nothing for a few moments, letting the air calm as it were.

"Well it's your decision David. It's all a question of whether you're big enough a man to give your wife what she wants. What she needs. Don't let your male ego wreck your marriage."

"That's not fair Mum," I answered her. "Nina wants a baby and so do I and so do you and dad. But it's just not fair to put me in a spot like that. It's just not fair."

"No son you're right; it's not fair at all. But life is seldom fair and we will all be judged by how we handle what life deals up to us."

Oh bloody hell ---- how do you answer that? If it had been anyone else but my Mum ---- my Dad even, I'd have told them to get lost. But my Mum was my Mum, and ---- well ----- She was my Mum, wasn't she?

"So you think I should tell her to go ahead," I spoke up at last. I didn't really want an answer; I just wanted to show her what an impossible situation it was. To challenge her, to try to take a decision like that.

"I can't answer for you David," she avoided the question cleverly. "I'm simply suggesting that you think about it before dismissing it out of hand. You've not exactly had the best hand dealt you with your married life so far, so it's a question of whether you can do something to put it right. I'm really worried about Nina, David and I don't know what to advise you. It's your decision."

"Thanks Mum, thanks a bundle," I finished, giving her a kiss on the cheek as I turned to leave. "I'll think about it, but I can't see me changing my mind."

---------------------

Nina and I had the mother and father of an argument that night when I got home.

"What the hell do you think you were doing discussing our sex life with my mother?" I shouted at her when she got in, some twenty minutes after me. Damn it, I was so angry that I spilt my tea.

"Well I've got to find someone who can knock some sense into that thick head of yours," she shouted back.

"Maybe you should go and tell all the neigbours about it," I screamed angrily. "Maybe you could find a few of them to give you a quick fuck while you're at it."

"Maybe I will," she screamed back, her eyes glaring at me. "Maybe one of them will do a better job of it than you have been doing lately."

Not a good start and it went downhill from there. She ended up throwing a glass bowl at me and I stormed out down the pub before I did something that I knew I would regret.

I sat there and nursed my one and only pint, knowing that if I had a second then a third and a fourth would follow and that I'd end up going home pissed.

That wouldn't help anything would it now. So I sat there quietly. Sat there mulling over what Nina had suggested and what my mum had talked about.

Was it that bad?

Yes! Damn right it was.

Were there other things worse?

Of course there were.

How badly did Nina need that baby?

How badly did I want one, especially now that young Derek and Thomas, and yes even little Mandy were leaving the area?

Could I agree to it and still carry on loving my wife?

Possibly --- No, probably.

Would Nina enjoy it?

Now that was the question wasn't it? The crux of the matter perhaps.

Would she enjoy having sex with another man?

Is that what I found so hard to accept? That she'd enjoy it?

Of course Nina would bloody well enjoy it wouldn't she! No question about it. As much as I hated the idea of another guy seeing Nina naked, touching her breasts and running his hands all over her. As much as I detested the thought of him actually sticking his prick inside her and cumming in her, the bit that hurt the most would be that she would enjoy it.

It's not as if she'd been a virgin when we met, far from it. What difference would it really and truly make if one more guy's name was added to that list?

Maybe not a lot, but I didn't really know did I?

But the big doubt remained that she would enjoy it, and the unthinkable was that she might enjoy it more than she did making love with me.

I'd heard talk that making love and having sex were simply not the same thing. A load of hogs-wash I'd always thought, but was I right?

What if she did enjoy it but pretended she didn't?

Was that worse?

Would that be cheating on me, even if I'd given my permission?

I stood up, finished my pint and left it on the bar on my way out.

I'd made up my mind. I'd ask her one simple question and only give her one chance to answer and if she got it wrong then that would be the end of it and even if we ended up divorced then I would never agree.

If she got it right?

Well that was something that I'd have to deal with wasn't it.

-------------------------

I entered our place with the proverbial butterflies in my stomach, knowing that I was going to have to confront my worst fears, but wishing I didn't have to.

"Hi honey," she greeted me with a hesitant smile. "Sorry about earlier. I was completely out of order and shouldn't have said what I said."

"Me neither sweetheart," I replied, taking her in my arms and enjoying the feel of her slim shapely body against me.

"Let's just go to bed and forget about it for tonight David," my wife suggested as I felt her rubbing her firm breasts against my chest.

"Not yet Nina," I found myself saying against my better judgment. It was a risk, but it had to come to a head sooner or later. "I've got two very specific questions to ask you."

Yes, my one question had become two, and I explained that if she got the answers to both of them right, then I would agree to what she wanted.

"What about if I get them wrong?" she asked nervously. "What about if I only get one wrong?"

"Then you have to drop the whole idea Nina, and you have to promise me that you will."

"Doesn't sound too fair that, David. What about if I promise to drop the whole idea for a year, and then we'll see how we feel by then?"

That seemed reasonable, as in a years time everything could be different and it seemed well worth the risk. I told her that I agreed, and that I'd written the answer to both questions that I would accept on a piece of paper, that I put down on the table. We sat down on the sofa alongside one another, the pair of us nervous as hell, knowing that the next few minutes were going to make a big difference in our lives, whichever way it went.

"Go on then David," she urged me, glancing over at the piece of paper on the table beside her. "Ask me the first question."

"Right," I said, swallowing to clear my dry throat. "My first question is, and I expect an honest answer, if you get the go ahead, are you looking forward to having sex with another man, this guy that you've singled out?"

Nina let out a gasp and stared up at me in surprise.

"I didn't expect a question like that," she squealed out.

"Maybe not Nina," I replied, shrugging my shoulders. "Don't forget, an honest answer."

Nina stared at me for some moments, and you could almost see the cogs working away in her head ----- How to answer ------ Perhaps she was wondering whether to tell the truth or to give me the answer I wanted. That she thought I wanted that is.

"I'm not sure what to say," she mumbled at last.

"Just tell the truth," I countered. "Take all night if you want or all week."

"No," she came back with no hesitation. "I'll tell you now and I'm sorry if this hurts you honey but you've asked for the truth. YES --- I would be, or that is I am looking forward to it and I'd be lying if I said otherwise. The end result is to get us a baby, but I can't deny that I'm looking forward, excited even, by the thought of sleeping with another man."

"So it wouldn't just be the simple sex act then?" I asked, my voice breaking. "You want it all --- kissing, making out, foreplay and everything?"

"Is this the second question David?"

"No," I responded. "I just want to know."

"Then yes David, I would be expecting to do all that. I'd need it to get in the right mood, and it would all seem so artificial otherwise."

"I'm sorry honey," she added when I didn't reply immediately ------ I couldn't!

"Right Nina, the second question is a bit more complicated I'm afraid, and I'm not sure how to word it. When and if you were to have sex with this guy, --------- What's his name by the way? You've never told me."

"You've never asked," she reminded me. "I didn't think you wanted to know, but his name is Gregory."

"How old is he?"

"Is it important?" she asked looking up at me uncertainly. "He's a few years older than you. Maybe six years or so older than me."

"Is he married?"

I guess Nina knew that these questions weren't the important one, just my need to know, coupled with the need to delay asking the final all important question. So she just shrugged her shoulders."

"He is," she commented. "But sometimes you wouldn't think it."

"A ladies man then?"

"I guess so."

"Bit of a player?"

"So the other girls say."

"Good in the sack?"

"So some of the other girls say."

"Well hung I suppose?"

Ok ---- I was damn well torturing myself.

"I wouldn't know," Nina answered. "I wouldn't imagine that he was on the small size though."

"Bigger than me though?" I demanded despite myself.

"I don't damn well know David," she exploded, perhaps not without reason. "You're not small David and I've had enough men before we met to know that for a fact. But whether Gregory is better endowed than you or not, then I've no bloody idea. If I ever find out, then I'll let you know if it's that damn important."

"Sorry sweetheart," I backtracked. "This isn't easy for me."

"I know honey and I do understand how it must be for you. Why don't you just ask the second question?"

"If you have sex with this Gregory chap, then the point is for him to cum inside of you to get you pregnant. But what about you Nina? How much are you going to get into it? Are you hoping to have an orgasm as well? Or several even? My question is, are you intending to enjoy it? Is that important?"

I sort of spluttered to a halt, having made a hash of the question, but almost knowing what her answer would be after the very specific way she had answered my first question. I was in a trap of my own making, but there was no escape, and I just knew she'd speak the truth.

"Yes David," Nina answered slowly but certainly. "It may not be the answer you want, but I'd have to put my heart and soul into it as I do with you my love. Just while it was going on, but I couldn't and wouldn't hold back."

I sat back, not sure what look I had on my face, aware that Nina was scrutinizing me, looking for some clue.

"Not the answers you wanted I expect David. But you did ask me to be honest."

I just sat there nodding my head at her, hurt by her answers but in some strange way, pleased by her honesty.

"Better open the envelope Nina."

"Is there any point?" She demanded. "They're not the answers you must have wanted."

"Open it anyway," I instructed her. "Just to check that I've been honest and not cheated on you."

Nina picked up the envelope, and with an unhappy glance in my direction, slit open the top and withdrew the slip of paper inside.

She gave a gasp as she read what was on the paper, her head snapping up to stare at me.

"But I don't understand David!"

"What's not to understand?"

"But you've written YES to both questions honey. You can't really mean that."

"I didn't say I wanted the answers that would best please me Nina," I explained. "I wanted the answers that would prove to me that you would be honest with me. Not to cheat on me. Not to get up to things behind my back. I couldn't stand that Nina."

I looked up at her and she burst into tears.

What could I do?

I went to her and comforted her, took her in my arms and showed her quite how much I loved her.

There would be things to sort out and boundaries to agree, but for the rest of that evening it counted for nothing as we, man and wife, made our peace together.

--------------------

And so it was!

The next day we talked and I explained that I didn't ever want to hear any of the details from her and that above all, this guy Gregory must never know what we were up to. He must never know that the purpose of their coupling was to get Nina pregnant.

"But why not David?" Nina asked.

"Because I don't want him, or anyone else to ever know that the child isn't really mine," I explained. "You can do what you have to do when you're at your most fertile and then end it."

I knew that my Mum would know of course, but she was hardly going to spill the beans was she? A handful of others might be surprised, but we could lead them to believe that we'd found the money to have a baby by artificial insemination, and they'd have no reason to think otherwise.

It could work!

"But what if I don't get pregnant the first time?" she asked.

"Then you can try again," I relented. "Two attempts Nina. I don't think I could stand more than that."

She thought about that and nodded her acceptance before continuing.

"So you really don't want me to tell him what it's about then?"

"Absolutely not."

"But he'll think we're having an affair David," she carried on. "I'd sort of have to let him seduce me."

"Do you think he might try that on?"

"I'm sure he will. He's already flirted with me and hinted at what he'd like to do with me," she said, the flicker of a smile crossing her face, which disappeared immediately when she saw the way I was looking at her.

"Sorry honey," she corrected herself. "I know this is hard for you, but I can't pretend that it's not exciting for me."

"I know Nina," I agreed, already beginning to regret my decision. "Do what you must do, but I don't want to know anything about it."

With that we ended the conversation, the pair of us with our own thoughts, which were, I'm sure, very different. There was an awful lot more that I could have said, but I didn't. I simply wanted this thing over and done with.

--------------------

The following two weeks seemed to pass without incident, Nina not so much as mentioning about anything going on between her and this damn Gregory. I have to admit though that our relationship improved leaps and bounds, Nina returning to the happy young woman that she had been before.

Mostly, I could black out any thoughts about how her relationship with Gregory might be developing, though since her fertile period was still a week or so away, I assumed that she hadn't let him go beyond some more serious flirting.

I wondered whether she'd let him kiss her, but tried to fade out any images in my brain of the pair of them making out.

"I was thinking that I might go out with the girls next Friday night," my wife surprised me with one evening. "I'll probably be back quite late."

"Where are you going?" I asked, my mind going into overdrive.

"Does it matter?" She replied uncomfortably, making it quite clear without actually saying so, that the night out with the girls was nothing of the sort.

"I guess that will be Ok then," I grunted back, my voice all but breaking, my face perspiring despite my efforts to remain cool about it.

"Thanks honey. Maybe it might be better if you went out with some of your pals to keep your mind busy," Nina suggested cautiously.

"I don't think I'd be good company."

"Right," she said, and we both sat there in silence for some minutes, neither of us sure how to break the silence.

"This is it then?" I asked, unable to avoid asking her, even though I knew I'd regret it.

"I thought you didn't want to know," she replied in little more than a whisper.

"I don't Nina," I grunted again, clearing my throat in emotion. "But .... That is ...... What I mean is ..... Oh hell Nina ---- I don't know what I want anymore."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, the doubt in her voice showing through.

"No I don't!" I shot back. "But ..... But ...... Have you ..... That is ..... Like the pair of you. Have you sort of done anything yet?"

Damn it! I'd asked when I promised myself I wouldn't and I knew that I shouldn't. Damn it!

"We haven't had sex yet," she mumbled hardly audibly.

"But?" There's always a 'but', isn't there.

"We've messed about a bit," Nina reluctantly conceded. "Not much just a bit."

"He's kissed you then?" It tore my heart out to even ask the question, and Nina visibly swallowed and nodded her head in admission.

"Has he touched you?" I demanded, immediately wishing I hadn't.

"A bit," she admitted, her eyes misting up.

"Where?" I continued to torture myself, fool that I was.

"Does it matter honey," she pleaded with me. "You really don't have to know."

"I do Nina," I continued, losing control. "I'm your husband damn it, and I have the right to know."

"OK David," she screamed back at me, my stupid insistence cracking her resolve. "If you must damn well know then yes he has touched me. He's touched my breasts, had my top right off and sucked my nipples and had his hand up my skirt while he was doing it. Does that satisfy you now David? Yes, I've let him finger fuck me and if you want to know, then I bloody well enjoyed it. Every damn minute of it!"