Out of the Past Pt. 03

Oh, god, had she come back for Sebastian? It seemed mad but once he had been the only person in the world she could trust, and perhaps on the memory of that she had come looking for security. Sebastian was not the boy she remembered, he had become a man she didn't understand. He was still passionate and driven, given to deep thought and definitive purpose. So much else had changed.

He'd grown into someone slick and confident, a man of action as much as words, and there was a callousness that hadn't been there before. An aura of distrust hung about him and she worried it had come from her as much as his family.

Claire shut the water off and toweled herself dry. She knew her clothes were put away, waiting for her, but she couldn't help but look in his closet, in his dresser. A large t-shirt with his scent would feel comforting, but all his shirts were either starched button-ups or tightly fitted t-shirts meant to show off his body. God, did the man never relax, just lounge around with popcorn, a movie, and a beer?

Finally she dressed herself in one of the outfits she had bought for her Arabian nights, a short, strappy, fitted cotton shift in cool red. In deference to the chill of the house and the unusually cool night she did put on a white sweater over it, and left her hair to air dry after toweling it well the way there.

In the kitchen he was cooking and to her surprise she saw what appeared to be sandwiches.

"Smells good," she said softly.

He turned and said nothing, letting his eyes skim her up and down for a long moment. "Have a seat," he said at long last, pointing to the island where two wineglasses sat in front of high stools.

She did as bid and shortly he served. The sandwiches were grilled portabella in a wine sauce with balsamic vinaigrette and feta cheese. The buns were grilled and had a red pepper paste on them, and the "fries" were baked potato strips with olive oil and seasoning.

She took a bite and it was all surprisingly good. Had she known healthy eating could be so delicious she would have given up canned food years ago.

"When did you get so health conscious?"

He took the seat next to her and munched a fry, then took a long swallow of the wine. "When you left I had one more year here. Mom...she wasn't doing so well. She wasn't taking her medication and the voices...you remember. She was scared of her own shadow, and for that year it was dicey. I'd been staying her with gramps and...my uncle, but finally she moved in and the paranoia grew worse.

"I knew there was some risk I'd inherit the condition so I began to get healthy. I understand now one has nothing to do with the other but I thought a healthy body meant a healthy mind. I took up running, lifting weights, eating better. I tried to get mom to do the same but she was slipping away.

"She began to scream whenever she saw her brother, but calling him by her uncle's name. They got a nurse and when I went away to college assured me she'd be fine. And she was for another two years, but then one day the call came. Something had spooked her and she'd fallen down the stairs."

Claire looked at the stairs he indicated, coming to meet the first floor and forming one small wall of the kitchen. The house had so many dark memories for her. Michael's lust, Ferdinand's cruelty, and now Lucinda's death. How did he live here?

"I have to," he said calmly, and Claire hadn't realized she'd spoken aloud. "You know this family is half mad, my mother was just the first to be diagnosed. The rules...it's so goddamn hard to change the rules."

She set down her half-finished sandwich and cleansed her palette with the merlot. "I know Ferdinand treated me like I was part of your family but I was always outside. Why this house? Why two at a time? Why Ferdinand and his brother, then Ferdinand and Michael, and how is it just you?"

His gaze skittered from her to the back window overlooking the quiet yard and the wind that shook the short fruit trees. "My great-great-great grandfather founded Kellner Inc and he was very superstitious. Always two Kellners at the helm, and it likely came from the fact he had three daughters and no sons. Maybe he didn't trust a woman at the helm but for whatever reason, it's in the charter, and my great grandfather had it written into the by-laws. I think he thought gramps and his brother Stan would fight to the death otherwise.

"So in the spirit of mental illness and paranoia somewhere along the way this strange house was built, two residences in one, for the heads of the company.

"There was no love lost between my grandfather and I but my mother made me swear. In her last years it was she who convinced me to stay in school, to plan on getting my MBA, to take over the company. Funny, just like Ferdinand she thought you would finish school, come home, we would get married, and run the company together. She died thinking it would happen. I just knew you wouldn't come back, and I know why now," he hastily added when she tried to speak.

"Ferdinand and Michael were having problems while I was in graduate school. I never knew what over I just knew gramps wanted me to take an apartment close when I graduated. We waited a year and then you disappeared.

"You know it's foolish, but I waited for you. Oh, there were girls, few and far between, meant to be disposable, but I honestly thought you might come, though I knew it was foolish. When you disappeared it shocked us all. It was like waiting for the next chapter in a gory fairy tale that never came, and then reality closed the book. Ferdinand got sick, his health declined, I became an officer of the company, and slowly over time I spent so much of my time here it made sense to move in.

"Gramps retired and left it to me and Michael and we butted heads every day. Michael got remarried and blew through his salary three times over. It was then that I think he drained your money and then he began embezzling.

"Just over a year ago I went to gramps with the evidence. He'd lost grandma two years earlier, he'd lost his daughter, and now his fuckup son was ruining the company he loved. His heart gave out that night. The next day I went to the board and they suspended Michael. His wife made him move out before I asked.

"In that time I won't lie, there have been women, many women. I've never been in love with any of them, never wanted more than a night. I work, I work out, and I fuck. That's my life."

It seemed so lonely to her Claire nearly let her hand follow its intent and cover his but she held back. His posture was stiff, his jaw hard, he didn't want pity. Family, duty, and honor were so important to him and there was no family left, and in their absence he'd built up many walls around himself. Poor Sebastian, she ached for him but knew better than to show it and insult his pride. The best she could do was share with him all the things she'd never told him.

"Mom liked money, I have no illusions about that. My father had some, or his family did, but my grandparents hated her and cut him off when they married. He died so young and she was adrift. I think when she found Michael she thought she had found the jackpot. Young, handsome, and rich, and he overwhelmed her. I know he didn't like me when I was little, didn't want a brat, and my aunt Colleen defied her parents and wanted me. I was a dirty little secret, this is why I never even met your until my mother had passed.

"Ferdinand was the one who wanted me, and convinced his son to take me in. They dumped me on him, and traveled a lot. Ferdinand and Martha were the ones who cared for me. They didn't like me. My mother was not the mothering type and from such a young age I'd had to see to my own needs and had a problem with authority. Ferdinand thought he could beat it out of me.

"When you came to live with us it was bearable. What you didn't know is that when my mother died my aunt Colleen tried again to get custody. Ferdinand got an army of lawyers and experts who coached me and Michael got it. Still you remember how he dumped me here, kept up his travels, his womanizing, his gambling and drinking.

"You were the one person who made it bearable. I got older, I was flippant, defiant, and Ferdinand still thought he could beat it out of me. Then Michael started to comment more and more I looked like my mother. I got older and he spent more time here, always trying to catch me alone. I was smart enough to know what was coming but weirdly I trusted Ferdinand. He saw, and he reminded Michael I was supposed to marry you, somehow run a company and be the perfect wife.

"I loved you with all my heart, but that's never been what I wanted. I am not a Kellner and I have no wish to run an empire. Michael backed off for a while but that night...it was bad. I understand now why you couldn't leave, but it broke my heart.

"I left and you know what? I was okay. I went to New York. I found Colleen and she made me finish school and I saved up, working as a waitress. I got into NYU and had money saved and was just shy of my eighteenth birthday when Ferdinand and Michael showed up. They literally dragged me kicking and screaming back, Michael nearly punched my aunt.

"The entire flight back I cried miserably and asked about you, and they would tell me nothing. We got back here and you'd already returned to school. Michael...he tried again, but Ferdinand stopped him. I'd never seen them argue like that, and Michael hit him, made him fall. That's why Ferdinand had to get the wheel chair, his back was injured. After that Michael left me alone and Ferdinand used my guilt and struck a deal.

"He promised me if he paid for college, pulled a few strings, if I went for the degrees he wanted he promised I could do whatever I wanted after school. I took the deal knowing he was lying because I thought at least I would see you. But they never called me home for holidays or summers except the few you weren't here.

"I saw your mother, and we spoke often. She was so proud of you." A tightness around his eyes told her to move on so she cleared her throat. "The week before I finished graduate school Michael came to visit me. I'd gone to Stockholm to get away from everyone. He told me you were engaged, and I knew it was a lie. He tried to seduce me and when that failed he got rough, again. My roommate came home and bet the hell out of him.

"I knew then I wanted to disappear. They would never let me go, Ferdinand for some fantasy he refused to relinquish and Michael for some delusional need to conquer. They wouldn't let me go and you were lost to me, so I left.

"I've always been good with computers and it was easy to become someone else. I went to Toronto to start over and began working in IT security as a consultant. In three years I've made a good name for myself, even if it is someone else's, and I had a good life.

"Now it's gone, but I'll be okay, Twice I've reinvented myself, and I can do it a third time."

Sebastian had been watching her quietly, his face a riot of thoughts, admiration and horror, questioning and realization. At long last it was his hand that covered hers. "A week. Just give me a week. It's not for the money, it's for...I know when you leave I'll never see you again. Please, just one week. I'll take vacation time, we can go anywhere in the world, take the company plane, go where we can be safe.

"We need this time. We've spent twelve years living delusions by the lies we were told...give me, no, give us this time, Claire."

She looked way and all she saw was the same kitchen they had done homework in, in earlier years snuck into after bedtime for cookies. But upstairs she expected at any moment to hear Lucinda wailing and screaming, to see Michael watching her behind a doorway, to hear Ferdinand's ominous command to come and present herself for a spanking with his cane.

All the good memories she had of that godforsaken house were Sebastian.

"Yes. All right."

He smiled, and it was so free, so much like the old Sebastian she was dazzled.

Ignoring their unfinished dinner he leaned over and cupped the back of her head, drawing Claire into a deep kiss, and easily she lost herself to it.

***

He kept kissing her until the room spun and all Claire could feel was the hammering pace of his heartbeat beneath her fingers and his firm lips across hers.. Her body was warm, vibrating, but his pace was slow and easy and cast a spell over her she couldn't break..

It felt like hours before his lips and tongue wound their way over her cheek and jaw to her throat. He found the spot beneath her ear that made her gasp and slid the sweater off her shoulders. His hands smoothed over her skin, making her tingle.

Her hands wandered over him, feeling his muscles but wanted his skin. She was desperate to pull his shirt off but he was moving so slow she forced herself to relax. So Claire skimmed his shirt and raised her hands to cup his cheeks, feeling the beginning of a beard so rough it sent a thrill through her and she moaned.

He nipped her collarbone and then lathed it and finally a large hand swept softly over a hard nipple. She arched into that touch and let her head fall back, giving up and waiting on him. Sebastian did not disappoint and let his other hand fall to her thigh and gently raise her skirt, turning up the heat in her.

Trembling with anticipation as her neared her center she grasped his shirt and tugged it up until she could slide her hands under the tight cotton. God he was magnificent, so warm, so vital, his skin was smooth yet rough and she drank in the feel of him greedily.

Sebastian raised his lips to capture hers and their tongues met, dancing and cajoling, echoing a deeper give and take her body craved. After that Claire's mind seemed to melt as they peeled off each other's clothes slowly, kissing and stroking the skin bared. When she sank her hands into his long, soft hair and pulled at the band tying it back he didn't fight her, and it spilled like cool silk over them both.

Sebastian grew impatient with the demands of her hands and pinned them down, taking his time then to run his lips, teeth, and tongue over every square inch of her body. She burned, she tingled, she ached deeply to be filled by him and still he denied her. Any time she reached for that beautiful body of his he pushed her hands away and drove her mad with light teeth on her breasts, skimming fingertips at the seam of her heat.

Finally he lowered himself until that deep auburn hair spread out over her pale flesh, tickling her hips. He looked up at her, his eyes blazing, his breath tickling her wet, aching pussy. So intimate a look could not be denied and she held his gaze as his mouth found her. When he locked his lips over her and flicked his tongue, the shots of pleasure were so grand she had to close her eyes and lie back.

This time when her hands sought his he clasped one, threading their fingers together. The other was left to twist on the sheets as he slipped first one and then two fingers into her tight channel. Curling them forward he kept up licking and sucking and it was just too much.

She cried out when the damn broke, feeling the gush of juices as her body contracted with near violence. His grumble of male satisfaction rumbled along her fluttering nerves and pushed her higher. Claire cried out and moaned, shivering as it passed, waiting for him to stop and cover her, fill her, to claim her surrender.

Sebastian was determined and only began anew. He drove her to peak again and again until she sobbed, begging him to stop. She lay there limply as he rose, slowly licking her juices from his lips. "Claire, watch." His voice was husky and as she forced open her eyes he knelt between her legs, his heavy cock in his hand.

She watched as he stroked it to full hardness and her body caught fire once more. Her heartbeat vibrated her entire being and all she wanted was that hardness inside her. Claire licked her dry lips and whimpered, helplessly caught in his spell.

Finally when those droplets were let loose he moved his hand and smoothed up her thigh, spreading her legs. Claire raised herself on her elbows and held her breath as he moved between her legs. With his hair wild and free Sebastian looked like a wild pirate of days past, all hard angles and shadow, his body taught and perfect.

Ruthlessly he cupped her ass and raised her hips, poising himself for entry. Her eyes took it all in as she shivered with anticipation.

"No, look at me."

She met his gaze and then he thrust in, filling her in one solid go. Claire clutched at his forearms, nails digging in as she arched against him. He held still for a moment, enjoying her writhing, but too soon sweat covered his brow and Sebastian began to move.

Slowly he filled her again and again, and ignored her protests. Holding her hips aloft with one hand the other came to rest on her, the heel of his palm sliding against her clit as he moved, rocking them slowly. It was an impossible burn and her aching body tightened as he filled her deep. Soon his thrusts remained shallow as he filled her, rocking, and she came screaming once more.

Sebastian kept moving through it, gritting his teeth. Goddamn, she was so beautiful, and so free with her responses. Her cunt gripped him tight and her breasts bounced with every panting breath. It took everything he had to hold on, to hold back, and finally she came down.

Claire thought the world had exploded into mist, leaving her floating, the only solid thing Sebastian. He set her hips down and leaned forward, still filling her, his lips claiming hers. Claire tightened her legs around his hips and he reached down, pressing her tight, and rolled.

She found herself on top and could only blink. He lay back against the pillow, long auburn hair free, his eyes sleepy and intense, his body taught, muscle in high definition. Riding astride him was a new fantasy she discovered, like the pagan sacrifice claiming the god.

She began to move, her tired body making slow, languid undulations. Sebastian grabbed her, cupping her head and dragging her to a kiss. She splayed her hands on his shoulders and let him move from below, thrusting up. His moans matched hers, urgent and gasping as he sped up. She arched back and hungrily he claimed the tip of a breast. Claire felt like a goddess, she felt powerful even as she rode his strength.

At last the orgasm took him and the feel of his urgent thrusts and taut body pushed her over the edge a final time. They came together, crying out and clasping, milking and grinding, desperate to make two bodies into one supreme being.

Exhausted she collapsed on him while the tremors still wracked her, and his arms closed around her and held her still. They panted together, their breaths syncopated, for long moments. At last Claire came to herself and wanted to pull back. A week, a week of this...it would kill her.

She distracted herself from the fear of losing herself to pet his hair. "It's beautiful."

"I never wear it loose," he said thoughtfully.

"I imagine every woman you meet would want to see it loose." She wiggled her hips and he let her roll aside, but then hauled her back against him and clamped an arm around her.

"None of them have. You're the first."

Her hand paused in mid-stroke. Oh, god, no. No, anything but that. They could delay it all they wanted but eventually she would leave. He was a Kellner and would always belong to the business, to the family, to the house. She had to make her own way.

Leaving him was going to be twice as hard now, she knew it in her heart; Sebastian was still in love with her.

***

Claire couldn't sleep. Worry was eating at her, and not just the mound of worries over Sebastian who slept so innocently next to her, but worry over the situation she had left. If she could put that killer away she owed it. Perhaps if Sharon agreed Claire could visit with a local sketch artist and give a description that could be faxed up north.