Out of the Shadows Ch. 01

Darius inhaled as tears flowed down his cheeks, "Dad, I need some time. I'll come home later, but right now I need to think."

"Alright, I understand, but I want you to know I love you and I will stand with you through this." Marvin stated softly.

"I know Dad. I love you, alright. Don't worry. I'll be home in a little while." Darius said to his Dad.

"Ok, I'll let your Mom know you're alright." Marvin said. "But Darius, please be safe." Then he hung up.

Turning to face his wife, she could see the devastation in his eyes. "Marv-?"

"He's a grown man and he has to work through this. She hurt him, but he has to stand on his own. We can love him, support him, but Marge, we're staying out of it." He told his wife.

With tears in her eyes, Marge simply nodded. "Okay," Then he held his wife while they both wept for their son.

Darius didn't even enter the club, but sat in the parking lot thinking. At some point he decided to just go home. Sitting on his bed he took out pictures of his family and remembered when he first fell for Dee. He thought about the time they spent together. Smiling, he remembered the night is girls were born.

He also recalled the arguments and fights. He recalled when she first started shutting him out. He later learned that Jason had moved back and they worked together.

She ate lunch with the other man often, and he didn't like it. He started showing up at her job and Dee didn't like it.

More arguing, more disillusionment, then she stopped being around him. She even changed shifts so she could avoid him.

When he asked about moving in with her, he thought she'd be so happy. She adamantly refused. Another fight ensued.

Soon, he only saw her when he picked up the girls and tonight she let him go. She'd moved on. He could accept that even though it hurt, but he would not abandon his girls.

Soon he lay down and tried to sleep.

A few hours later, Darius, exhausted and tired, got up, showered, and dressed for work.

Marge joined him in the kitchen and embraced him tightly. "Take the day off; you need to stay home today." She told her son.

"Momma, I'm alright. I have to go in. We're servicing the military vehicles and Sergeant Jameson will pick them up; I promised him they'd be ready by noon." He explained.

"Ok, let me make you some breakfast." Marge stood to retrieve items from the frig.

Darius touched her shoulder, "Momma, stop. I'll be fine. Dee should drop the girl's off when she heads to work. I'll be by to check on them at lunch." Then he left.

Deidre pulled into the driveway a little before seven. She was not sure what reception she would receive. She knew Marge loved the twins, but she was sure she now hated her.

As soon as she got out of the car, Marge came out to help with the girls. They were turning three this year and Marge and Jasmine was already planning their huge birthday bash.

"Good morning, thank you for watching them, Mrs. Granger. I will see about getting a daycare." Deidre explained to afraid to look at her.

"Deidre Angelica Barnes, what's with this Mrs. Granger crap? And no you will not be taking my grandbabies to a daycare." Marge declared as she placed Camirra in her play pen.

Deidre was holding on to Camorra and looking down. She could not bear the censure she was sure to see in Marge's eyes.

"Deidre, Dee" Marge demanded. "Look at me."

Deidre looked up and she saw compassion in the older woman's eyes. Placing Camorra in her pen, Deidre embraced Marge apologizing profusely.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to..." sobbing softly. "I hurt him. He didn't deserve that. You must hate me."

"Deidre, stop." Marge commanded. "People grow and change. You two just grew apart and no one expects you to stay with someone that does not make you happy. You will get through this and we will still be a family." Marge squeezed her tightly.

"You are like a daughter to me, and you are a great mother." Marge inhaled. "Do I wish you and Darius had married? Yes, but not if you would be miserable. Listen, you two will get through this and find a way to stay friends."

"Momma Marge, thank you." Deidre whispered as she embraced the much older and wiser woman. "Momma said the same thing. She just wished... Nothing." Wiping away the tears, she looked away.

"Deidre, I'll call Jasmine. Go to work and don't worry." Marge told her, with a final reassuring hug.

Sergeant Jameson walked in with a couple of soldiers to pick up their vehicles. Darius stopped and talked to him and settled out the bill.

"Young Man, have you ever considered enlisting?" he asked Darius.

"Sir, I've got a record and I'm sure the military wouldn't want someone like me." Darius answered. But honestly, he'd thought about it.

"Come to my office in the morning, and bring your records. A young strapping guy like you is just what we need." Sergeant Jameson said.

Darius finished out the day thinking about what Sergeant had said. His Dad was out that day, so he didn't get a chance to see him until that night.

Lunch time rolled around and he went home to spend a little time with his girls.

"Daddy, daddy" both girls squealed when he walked through the door. He picked up both girls and embraced them.

"Hey my angels" he greeted his daughters. For a moment, he doubted his decision. Would I be willing to spend this time away from them? If I do this, would he be abandoning them? No! I need this. I need to grow up and become a man that they deserved. Dee is a great Mom and everyone here will be there for them. Besides, it would only be for a few years and I'd be able to get some type of training and go to college. Plus, the benefits I can provide for them throughout are immeasurable. So, should I do it? Do I really want to join the Army?

Darius went back to the garage, and decided to go over to the recruitment office that evening. He had a long talk with Sergeant Jameson. He told him about his mistakes, his sentence and his family.

"Sergeant Jameson, I've made mistakes. Some things I've done, I can never forgive myself." Darius inhaled.

"Wait son," Sergeant Jameson interrupted. " We all mess up. But you have to keep moving."

"I've been thinking about something like this. Trying to find a way to take control of my life and help with my kids." Darius told Sergeant Jameson.

"Son, the military can be a great opportunity for you. You'll learn discipline, you can acquire a skill set, you'll get to travel, and the benefits are the best in this country.

You'll also be able to save money to help you go back to college if that's what you want to do.

Darius was now interested, 'What other benefits are there?" he asked.

"Well we will set up a monthly allowance to be paid for the care of the children once you finish basic training. We can also allow an allowance for your parents as well. You would receive a monthly check that will be tax free, so you'd need to have an account set up for the monthly deposits."

"Wait, if my money is in the bank here and I get sent overseas how will I use it?" Darius asked.

"Son, in all honesty, you won't need it. All of your immediate needs will be taken care of. You just have to serve your country." Sergeant Jameson explained.

Then Sergeant Jameson gave Darius some information about the army that he wanted him to read.

"Darius, I know you're having a tough time right now. But this isn't a decision to make lightly. We take a new batch of recruits in three months, and honestly, I want you on that bus. Take your time and think about this. Let me know your decision in four to six weeks. I'll look into the situation with your conviction, but I'm sure we can work around it.

That night, Marge and Jasmine went out for a girl's night, and Darius decided to talk to Marvin.

"Dad, I'm thinking about enlisting in the Army. Before you say anything, this is not an irrational, spur of the moment, decision. Honestly, since I lost my scholarships, I've thought about it before. Today, I talked with Sergeant Jameson, and it might be possible.

Dad, I think it could help me.b ut now that Dee's with Jason, I don't want to risk my girls. If I go wawy..." Darius stopped, he couldn't say more.

"Son, they are your daughters. You will always be their father and they love you. No man can ever take your place in that regard." Marvin exhaled.

"If enlisting is something you need to do, then son do it. You see, you have to live your life and honestly right now, you're not living. I know you still carry the guilt, but you've got to move on. If the Army can help you, get a new start, then go. I will support you one hundred and ten percent, alright son. This is a decision you need to make, but whatever you decide, I'm right here." Marvin then embraced his boy. He knew this was the right decision for Darius, but he was now concerned about Derrick. How would this affect him?

Three days later, Darius was sitting back in his office in the garage. Reading the papers that were presented to him, he was thinking about becoming a soldier in the United States Army. He had three months at home before he reported to basic training, if he joined.

Sergeant Jameson gave him some things to think about. If he joined, besides his girls who else would really be affected by his decisions. He knew if he explained everything to Mom and Dad they'd support him one hundred percent as well as Sierra, Cameron, Dawn, and Derrick.

He wanted to talk to Dee. But he could not face her right now. It hurt too much. He knew they had to talk at some point, they had kids and his girls were his heart. He wondered, how would Dee feel about him enlisting.

Dee, she found someone else. How could he have been so blind and not seen the signs. The hours she worked, lunches with her friend. No, he would not go back there. It was over. They were over, but they'd have to talk about their girls. he thought.

If he enlisted, would she find a way to hate him even more? What about Jason? How long would he be in the picture, and if he stayed could he take his place in his daughters' eyes if he joined?

Darius decided to talk to everyone Sunday and tell them all at one time. He'd call Deidre and ask her over as well, as he informed her of his decision. He hoped they supported him and understood, but this was something he had to do.

Sunday evening arrived, and everyone was there except Deidre and the twins. Soon, she drove up and Darius rushed out to help get his girls out of the car. He expected Jason to be with her, but he wasn't.

"Where's Jason?" Darius asked his heart beating erratically in his chest.

Deidre exhaled, heart pounding. Her stomach was in knots, but Darius really seemed to need this meeting. After she hung up, she called Sierra. She thought Sierra might be mad she'd hurt her brother, but her friend just hugged her and said it would be alright. "Look, Darius."She said lowly. "I could not disrespect you and your parents by having him come over here. Please, I don't want trouble."

Darius looked at the woman that held his heart, the mother of his children. He realized that he had to let her go. She deserved better. The best thing he could do now was, get his life in order, and the Army could help him.

"Dee, baby. I'm so sorry. You and my girls mean everything to me. I told you that I could respect the fact you've found someone else and I meant that. I need to tell you something important, and then you can go back home to him. But please, tonight. Just listen." He implored.

Sierra came outside to greet her friends. "Hey Deidre, are you okay?" She looked at Darius, eyes accusing. "Come on. Let's take the girls in." She then took her niece from her brother. Darius followed them into the house.

The air was tense. Darius walked over to Cameron, "Hey Cam, is your Dad going to make it? I need everyone to be here to hear this." He queried.

"I think so, he said he was when I spoke to him last night. Darius, man, what is going on?" Cameron was truly concerned for his friend but before Darius could answer Nick Richards drove up with Rosa and Jasmine, Deidre's mother.

Everyone greeted and hugged each other. Soon they ate dinner. Darius added little to the conversations but simple enjoyed being with them at this moment.

Looking at his friend, Cameron asked the question everyone was thinking. "Darius, you asked all of us over here. What's going on?" Sierra arms encircled her husband. She was wondering what was going on with her big brother too.

"OK, here goes. I'm thinking about enlisting in the army. I have at least three more weeks to decide. After I enlist, I report to Fort Lane for six weeks basic training. When I'm successful, I will become a soldier in the United States Army." Darius stopped at the end of his announcement.

"Darius, is this because-," Deidre started to say, tears streaming.

"Dee, no this isn't about you. I need to do this. I need to go." Inhaling deeply, Darius continued.

"I need more than I can find here. Dad you gave me a job when no one else would hire me and I appreciate it, but I need to see what else is out there. I fucked up, and I've paid for that mistake in ways you all can't imagine."

"I know you all love me, but you don't like me very much. Besides, I don't like myself. I don't like this shell of a man I've become." Darius explained.

Marge sat, her heart breaking as she listened to her son release his pain and she knew that no matter what he had to do this. Marvin stood by her and grasped her hand. They looked at each other and nodded, they would stand behind their son.

Everyone was stunned. They had a feeling he was about to do something, but nothing this drastic. "Darius, you have a record. How did you? Did you tell them?" Derrick asked, searching frantically for a way to keep his brother from going.

Sergeant Jameson has a meeting with Judge Long to discuss my conviction. He told me this evening when he called." He explained to his brother.

"What if there is a war? Darius, I don't think this..." Dawn touched his arm and shook her head and stopped him.

"Ten weeks of training first right. You'd better pay attention so when you do join, you will survive it. If you get yourself hurt, I'm going to smack you hard, hear me." She added embracing her brother-in-law. She knew and understood why. Darius needed to find himself, his own self worth. He had to find away to redeem himself in the eyes of the people closest to him.

Darius was so grateful to her he embraced her lightly, taking care not to hurt his new nephew.

"Darius, I don't like this." Derrick added. "I just don't-" Dawn embraced her husband. He'd never really been separated from his twin and the thought of his brother being in danger and he could not be there was too much for him. His body was shaking as he was on the edge of losing it.

"Derrick, come on man. Let's go for a walk.I need some air." Cameron suggested. He loved these guys like a brother and he knew Derrick was about to break. He knew he didn't want to crack in front of everyone, especially Dawn, so he stepped up and gave him an out.

"No, I need to talk to Dar..." and he swallowed, eyes widened. Dawn's heart broke for him, she wanted to help but Cameron stopped her.

"Dawn, I've got him. Come on Derrick, let's walk." He whispered as he hugged his friend. "You don't want to break in front of her."

The two men walked out, as Sierra quickly hugged her big brother. "Darius, if you do this, please don't get yourself hurt. Do an easy job, like something in an office. Don't go to combat."

Laughing at her over protectiveness, "Sierra, it's basic training. I may not make the cut. I'll be alright. Sierra I need to do this."

"I love you, Darius." Sierra whispered as she hugged her brother. He returned her embrace when he saw Deidre sitting with her mother crying. He had to make her understand that she did nothing wrong.

Nick Richards, Cameron's dad, spoke up. "I served for five years before Sarai and I married. The experience helped me become the man I am today. This could be a great opportunity Darius, congratulations." Nick shook his hand.

Jasmine stood, "Darius, I understand and I'm proud of you. Just, just make sure, you come home to us, to your family. Alright." She embraced him as tears rolled down her cheeks. The sight of Jasmine crying caused something inside Nick to stir, he didn't like seeing her upset.

Rosa and Christiana ran into the room and both of the girls knew something was wrong.

Darius looked at his two adopted little sisters. "Chrissy, Rosa. I am thinking about joining the army, so I have to go away for a while."

"No," Chrissy cried out. She'd just found this family and she didn't want anyone to leave. "Please, don't go." She pleaded her tiny arms circling Darius' neck.

"Yea, Darius, We'll be good, don't leave us" Rosa pleaded wrapping her arms around her brother's neck. DJ toddled in and at seeing Rosa and Chrissy crying, he started crying too.

Before long, all of the kids, the twins included were crying, so Marge, Marvin, Jasmine, and Nick took control to help calm the babies.

Meanwhile, Derrick was having his own meltdown. "Cameron, I've always been with him, Who's going to watch his back?" Derrick asked his friend.

We've always been together. He should have called me, I would have gone to the office with him"

"If he joins, then I have to join to." Derrick concluded. Cameron had heard enough.

"What about Dawn and the children? They need you as much or more than your brother. You mean to tell me you'd abandon them to follow Darius?" Cameron asked angrily.

Derrick froze, Dawn and his children were his world, but even now he looked out for his brother.

"Derrick, he needs to do this. He has got to learn to stand as a man." Cameron exhaled. "He needs your support. He needs you to believe in him more than anyone else right now. Can you do that?"his friend queried.

"Derrick, Cam's right. I haven't joined yet, but brother, this is something I need to do."

Tears streamed down Darius face, "Derrick I have always counted on you. I've always known you were there. Even when I fucked up big time, you were there. I'm sorry that I took over so much of your life. Now, I need you to let me do this on my own, be my own man."

"How in the hell do you expect me to stand and wait forthe shoe to drop. I can't. If something happens to you, Darius... Why? Why do you have to do this?" Derrick asked. "I don't understand."

"Derrick, please. Just listen-" Darius interjected.

"No, no, no! You don't get to take someone else away Darius. I can't handle that again. It's too much." Then he collapsed sobbing brokenly as Cameron held him.

Darius finally got it. When he hurt Cameron, he forced Derrick to choose. And Derrick chose him. He ripped his brother's and his friend's life apart and didn't even realize it.

"Derrick, I'm sorry." He whispered as he and Cameron held Derrick close.

Derrick sobbed unleashing years of hidden pain and despair. Dawn sensed something was wrong, but Jasmine stopped her and asked her to help with the babies for a minute. The last thing she needed was to see her husband in the state he was in right now.

Dawn looked at Jasmine and whispered, "I need to go to him."

Sierra embraced her sister-in-law. "They need this. Let's give them time."

Deidre said nothing. She felt that if Darius did this it was because she hurt him.

Finally Marvin spoke up, "Children listen. Darius is a grown man and truth be told he needs this. He needs a chance to find out who he is and what he is made of. We all have protected him all we can. But he's right, he's got to grow up, become the man he needs to be. If the army can help him then I say we support him one hundred percent.

Deidre, you are the love of that boy's life, gave him two beautiful children, but you moved on with someone else. If it was meant to be for you two it would have happened. His decision is not about you. Stop trying to find a way to blame yourself baby girl."