Out Of The Shadows Ch. 07

"Nice of you to join me," I said sarcastically.

"I'm glad you still have your sense of humour. I'm rather looking forward to beating that out of you," he replied, not as yet slurring his words or obviously drunk.

"I'd hate to disappoint you Tony."

He laughed, walking around behind me, and I refused to give him the satisfaction of turning to see what he was doing. I found out pretty quickly, when I felt the cold and sharp pain and then the sound of clothing ripping. He cut first my shirt and then my jeans off none to carefully with a knife, although I was fairly sure he had only nicked me. He wouldn't take a chance on me bleeding out too quickly.

It was a lot colder now, and I felt much more vulnerable spread out in just my boxers, but I was sure that was the idea. When he came back around in front of me he had left the knife, and in his free hand was a long black whip. At least now I knew what he had in mind for me, but I only glanced at it, focussing instead on his face and ignoring what was about to happen.

"Your 'friends' didn't give me long to pack, but I managed to pick up one of my toys in the rush. I was starting to worry I wouldn't get the chance to use it, so thank you for making your capture so easy. Unfortunately I haven't got as long to enjoy this as I would like, but I'll do my best."

He was still grinning and swigging from his bottle, and I wondered why he was trying to get drunk. I could tell my lack of reaction was starting to annoy him, but it didn't really matter what I did right now, he was hardly going to make things easier on me if I begged him to.

"Well, while you amuse yourself, perhaps you could tell me a story. Call it another last request, and tell me how you found out about me, and where your lovely friends have gone."

"Fair enough," he agreed, surprising me. "We've got a little while to kill and it would be a pleasure to entertain such a favoured guest."

I was worried more than anything that the others had gone after Alex. Tony was unstable at the best of times, and right now he seemed to be teetering on the brink of something. I had no idea what it was, and I was going to find out the hard way, but Alex had to stay safe.

"I'll just limber up a little first," I heard Tony say from behind me, an instant before the first stroke fell across my back.

* * * * * *

It seemed like forever before he started to talk rather than just whip me. It was a frenzy of blows and although I couldn't help but struggle against the pain that just made the rope and metal at my wrists and ankles dig in deeper. I stayed quiet when it started, biting back any sounds of pain, but he kept going until he got that satisfaction, and now wherever he struck me seemed to be over previous strokes and cause me to cry out.

From my chest I could see that he wasn't drawing blood, or at least not with most of them. The whip was designed to hurt and mark but not really to cut and scar, not that the realisation of that made this any better. I tried hard to focus on something else, think of being with Alex, but each blow seemed to bring me back to reality no matter how hard I tried.

When he finally stopped, I shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position, but there was nothing. Each movement sent pain through my body and I whimpered quietly, trying not to let him know how much it hurt even though I was pretty sure he was aware and loving every moment of this. My head hung down as I panted for breath, trying to focus on something other than what was happening to me.

"Now we've got that out of the way," he started, "we'll have a little chat before round two."

He settled himself on a chair, taking in the sight of me with amusement, and I raised my head, trying to look interested and not like I was in pain.

"My staff have, after some debate, decided to take their chances out there and attempt to make it out of the country. There is some possibility that will work, but I also suspect there are a hell of a lot more police on our tail now that we have taken you. Personally, I don't think I'd get very far."

"So you're going to sit here and wait for them to find you?"

"Of course not. I'm not interested in getting used to prison food, so I have made alternative plans."

I followed his eyes around the room, and as he took more of his drink, I swallowed hard. There were petrol cans positioned around the room, close to piles of rubbish and wooden pallets.

"That's right. I thought we'd go out in a blaze of glory. I'm afraid you're likely to be rather more awake for that part than I am, but I'm sure it will appeal to the martyr in you. After all, you gave yourself up to save your boyfriend."

I jerked sharply when he used that word. I thought he didn't know, and I was suddenly scared. If he knew that, what was he going to do about it? He was grinning at my reaction and I mentally kicked myself for letting it show.

"If I had more time, I probably would enjoy making him suffer too for what you did, but luckily for the pair of you I don't. Mind you, I wouldn't have let him go so easily last night if I'd known."

"So how did you find out?" I asked, confused that he had only just discovered the fact. Perhaps he had seen us kissing goodbye.

"My brothers and I were suspicious of you for a while before we found out for sure you were a cop. We had inside information and we decided it was time to check you out, and see how loyal you were and to who."

He hadn't answered my question about Alex and me, but if he was going to tell me the rest of it then that was okay. It delayed any more punishment and the fire.

"That's why you set me up and had me arrested, to see if I would take the fall for you?"

He let out a short laugh.

"No. We had you arrested so we could get into your place undisturbed and have time to look around. It took some time to find a convenient moment to do it, and you damn nearly got past the man tailing you with that wig on. Once you were out, he followed you, we searched your flat, and some others did the robbery wearing your jacket so the police would have reason to question you. We were rather surprised where you went on your night off though."

"I like to dance," I told him to amuse myself, but it made him laugh surprisingly hard. The whisky must have been kicking in.

"I don't think most men enjoy dancing up close and personal with other guys. I wasn't familiar with the club myself, but since not a single woman came in or out of the place we could safely assume you weren't there for that type of company. I was bored last night and looking for...well, flammable items, and I found the photos your tail took outside the club. It seems an unlikely coincidence that your solicitor was in one of those pictures."

I laughed at him then, but not for long as it made me hurt far too much. I wanted to wipe the smug grin he had on his face at what he thought he had worked out off his face.

"You're right, it does seem strange, but it actually was a coincidence. I didn't even see him at the club, we only met the next day at the police station."

"So you say. You ran to his at the first sign of a problem at your flat as well, that's very cosy for someone you had just met, and going on the run with him just so you could dip your wick, not very bright of you. You should have known we'd use whoever we could to get to you."

I stayed silent at that, far more aware than he could know how much I blamed myself for that. I knew I'd put Alex in danger, I didn't need the bad guy pointing it out to me.

"I rather like the idea that you gave yourself up to save your fuckbuddy. Very noble of you Rob. You knew what would happen to you afterwards."

"You said yourself, you would have killed him. Far better you only kill the person you have reason to."

I wasn't going to argue the fuckbuddy point, he didn't need to know how much Alex meant to me or how much getting him free had meant. I had saved the man I loved and that was the one thing that was keeping me from going to pieces at what was happening to me.

"I would have liked to see your face," he muttered, not finishing his thought, and my stomach clenched at even the idea of him hurting or killing Alex in front of me. To divert myself from that I asked the one remaining question on my mind.

"Who is the dirty cop? Who told you who I was, where I was?"

His grin broadened at my question, obviously pleased to be able to let me in on that secret. I had the feeling the alcohol was making him rather more agreeable to speaking to me than he would have been, and I didn't mind in the slightest.

"You recall the Inspector who arrested you? He had one too many gambling debts racked up in the kind of places you really don't want to be running a tab, plus a few other unsavoury habits that brought him to our attention. He was surprisingly happy to help us, after a little persuasion."

"They'll catch him too," I said, hoping that would be soon. No-one like that deserved to be on the force.

"I don't think so. He was a loose end, we tidied him up. I was already planning to kill one good cop if I could, doing a bad one too really didn't seem to matter."

I probably should have felt some sympathy for the guy, but given what I was going through I found it hard to think kindly of the man. If he had kept his mouth shut none of this would have been necessary and I could be safe right now with the love of my life, not staring at Tony Merrett and waiting for more torture. Still, maybe that guy had a family who would miss him and had no idea what he was really like.

"So, now that you know all of that, I think I'm ready for round two," he told me, standing and reaching for the whip.

* * * * * *

At some point I lost consciousness, drifting in and out of reality and pain as Tony took out his frustration on me. There was nothing I could do to stop him, but the further detached I became from what he was doing, the easier I found it, and the more I could concentrate on feelings of love and being needed. I had found something and someone so special I never wanted to leave them, but now that it had been taken out of my hands, at least I had enjoyed my brief time with him.

I wondered what he was doing, whether he was still crying for me, and I wished I could tell him more, reassure him somehow that he would be okay without me. I wanted him to find love again, be happy, be alive so that I knew that my death was worthwhile. I was leaving him to pain and loneliness and I hated that, but he would live on, and he would always remember me, and I took some comfort from that.

I was warm, hot even, when I came round again. My skin was sore pretty much everywhere, but it wasn't just that, the air I was breathing in was hot as well, and the smell of burning was strong. I cracked my eyes open to see what I dreaded, and confirmed that the place was on fire, starting to fill with smoke. Tony seemed to have passed out nearby, and while I was out he had set the blaze going.

Coughing, I struggled against the ropes, trying to find some give where there was none, scraping more skin off my sore wrists and causing the rest of my body to scream at me that it couldn't cope with movement, but I had no choice but to try. When nothing worked, I let my head drop, tears falling from a combination of the smoke hurting my eyes and thoughts of what I was going to lose and how Alex would cope with going on alone.

All I could do was what I promised, and taking deep breaths to make sure the smoke got me before the fire, I imagined him in my arms, our bodies pressed together after we made love, his dark eyes looking at me with all the love he had and had never been able to express in words until the moment we had parted. I didn't want to leave him, then or now, but at least I could take the way he made me feel with me. His name was a soft and reverent moan from my lips as I slipped into unconsciousness.

* * * * * *

Alex

I hated the Chief for sending me away, even though I knew he was right. There was nothing I could do, but I felt so helpless and I should have been able to do something. I knew Rob wasn't coming back, at least most of the time, but I couldn't stop myself from dreaming that he would. I had no idea how to live without him now that I had experienced all he could show me.

Going back over the days we had spent, I found it hard to remember them right now with anything but sadness, because they all ended with that one last tearful kiss in his car, and the letter he had left for me. In two days back at home I must have read it hundreds of times, and each one made me cry for him. Perhaps he was still alive right now, in pain because of me, wishing he could come back to me as hard as I was wishing for the same thing.

I'd talked to a counsellor thanks to the Chief, but right now I couldn't see how that would help me. Perhaps given some more time I would actually come to terms with this, but the pain was still very raw at the moment. I had bruises on my ribs again, not so many, but enough that I remembered all the bad that had happened to me. Even if I hadn't lost Rob as well I found it hard to believe that I could just go back to my normal life and forget everything.

My house felt wrong as well, like it wasn't where I was supposed to be. I yearned to be back at the little cottage in the country away from all of this crap, people trying to help when they could never understand. My boss had been by, a couple of co-workers, even my parents, but none of them had any idea what I had been through. Even the policemen stationed outside my house knew nothing except I could be a gang target. The only person in the whole world who had any idea was the Chief, and he was too busy to talk to me.

Even though I hadn't been able to explain myself fully, I had fallen apart in front of my parents, losing myself in a haze of tears and sobbing that caused my mum to pull me into her arms for some comfort. It wasn't nearly enough or whose arms I wanted to feel around me, but it was a reminder that there were still people who loved me.

As she held me I stammered out the words I'd been too afraid to say before and told them I was gay, and I was just hugged tighter. All the fears I'd had about it, they seemed nothing compared to losing the man I loved, but I was accepted immediately, even my dad crying a little when I told them what I was allowed to about falling in love and having him taken from me.

"Never forget that we love you too, and we don't want to be without you either. You can call us any time, promise you will."

That one line meant a hell of a lot, not just that I had their support, but that they understood how dark the world around me was right now. I wished I could see some light, but even their love wasn't enough to stop me crying myself to sleep with how much I missed him.

* * * * * *

It was another two days, or maybe three, I was in too much of a daze to keep track, when the Chief came to see me for the first time. I knew from the look on his face that it was all over, but I needed to hear it if I was ever going to get any closure. That word was one my therapist loved, and was getting on my nerves already, but not knowing was hard and I wanted the uncertainty out of my life.

"I'm sorry Alex," he started, slowly.

"You found him."

"We found the three men who were with Tony, and they told us where to go. They left the morning after the handover and Rob was alive then, but they said it would be too late. We found a burnt out warehouse and the local police were already investigating it as arson. They pulled two bodies out of it, and they're running DNA to confirm the identities we gave them."

I was numb again, but the DNA part was what my mind focussed on.

"He burned?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper. That was a horrific way to die.

"No. Every indication is they were both dead before the fire took hold. I know that doesn't make it much better, but he didn't burn."

"Thank you," I murmured, not even sure why. I shouldn't be thanking him for the worst news I'd ever heard.

"If you need anything, get in touch with me. I realise it's not the same, but I miss him too. He was a good man."

"Yes, he was," I replied almost automatically, my already red eyes brimming with tears.

* * * * * *