Over the Rainbow Ch. 03

Tara cursed as she rolled over and picked up her cell phone. It was after nine in the morning. She should have been up two hours ago. She should have had at least one outfit finished and be well into a second by now. But staying up until after midnight on the phone with a young Dom did funny things to you it seemed. She cursed again as she raced first for the bathroom and then the kitchen. She definitely needed to feed her caffeine addiction. Better that one than the other one: her need for those words...from him.

She poured the water over the crystals of dark coffee and white sugar. She watched it turn a dark muddy brown as she stirred. She cupped it lovingly as she brought the steaming mug to her lips. The flavor burst in her mouth as quickly as that orgasm had burst from her soul through her body. She shook her head, trying to clear the confusion that hung like fog over the Thames. Questions too numerous to count filled every corner of her mind.

She sighed. She could not afford another day like yesterday. She had to focus on work. Get at least three orders filled today, especially if she wanted to clear her schedule for the next party at Rainbows in two weeks. But honestly she knew that if she sat down at the sewing machine now she would spend more time ripping out stitches than she did putting them in. No, she needed to put some order to her thoughts, come up with a plan, just like she always had with her business and family.

She looked at her phone. It was after nine and not a single text even though he had said they would talk today. Perhaps he was waiting to hear from her, but she was not comfortable with that on a couple of levels. First of all, as old fashioned as it sounded, she believed that men did the chasing, not women. Even more so because it just did not seem right somehow for a submissive to be the first to contact a Dom. She shook her head again. No, if he wanted to continue this thing then the next move was up to him.

With that put firmly to rest, she opened her laptop. Another three orders were awaiting her in her email. "Fuck," she cursed. She really did have to get this thing under control. Herself under control. She opened the social networking site. No new messages from him there either. The confusion grew in her mind. Perhaps he had just been using her. Perhaps it was just a one off thing. He had gotten her hot and bothered. Cheap phone sex and he was done with her?

It was not like she had that much experience with these things. Hell, it had been more than close to a quarter of a century since she had even dated. And that was vanilla crap. These things? The BDSM, Dom/sub shit was totally new to her. She had absolutely no idea what she was doing. Mistress Havisham's words about a protector rang once more in her mind. It seemed that she sure as hell needed one as embarrassment at how easily she had fallen under the young man's spell sprung up from the well of her conscious deep inside of her.

"No fool like an old one," she said to the emptiness as she opened her messages once more. The unanswered one from Peter stared accusingly at her. Perhaps answering it would allow her to gather her thoughts, organize them, figure out where she went from here. It seemed a better option than spending the whole morning checking her text messages and ripping out stitches. She read it again...

***

Dear Tara,

It was a pleasure meeting you at Rainbow's yesterday. I am sorry that I could not have been a better host. But I got caught up helping out on the desk and of course my first responsibilities are to my slave and sub.

How did you find your visit to our little club? Sometimes things can be a bit overwhelming in the moment but make more sense when you think about them in the light of day. I could tell that you were feeling a bit like that but hope that you will take the time over the next few days to think more about what you saw and what we talked about. As I said, we are all just normal people like you. We just have discovered these little kinks, needs, desires deep inside of us. We get together occasionally to let those things out safe, sanely and consensually before return to the 'real' world.

As I said then too there will be things that you see that do not appeal to you, some that may even seem frightening or disgusting. But a central ethos of this community and Rainbow's is the motto, 'your kink is not my kink.' In other words, this is a big world with lots of diversity and even if we do not understand something we need to accept that it works for that person. As I said judgmental attitudes have no place in this community.

But I believe that you do...have a place here. You seemed genuinely curious about the lifestyle and more importantly yourself. It takes courage to explore parts of yourself that society deem deviant, unacceptable, sinful even. I am glad that you felt you could do that at Rainbow's.

So what did you think? Did you see anything that appealed to you? That you really want to try on your next visit? There will be a next one, won't there? Was there anything in particular that scared you? That you had questions about? Some of these things can be as I said overwhelming and frightening. Some of them may bring back bad memories or fears. Those are what we call 'triggers.' Did you discover any of those?

I suppose that is a bit much to digest especially from someone you just met. So tell me to fuck off if you want. Just know that I am here if you have questions or need anything. I do hope to see you again at Rainbow's sometime soon.

Good luck,

Peter

***

Tara stared at the computer screen as she unfolded the layers of the email. As she had in school she began to outline her response carefully in her head as she sipped on the coffee. There was so much to say. She could go on and on for pages if she let herself but this man was probably just being polite. Who knows perhaps it was even part of his duties as Dungeon Master to follow-up on the newbies? No, it was best to keep things simple. That decision made she began to type:

***

Dear Peter,

Forgive me if that is supposed to be Sir or something. I completely understand how busy you were; I would say tied up but that would be more appropriate for subs. I do appreciate how you and Mistress Havisham took time to show me around, introduce me to people and make certain that I understood the rules. Overall, the experience was very enlightening.

I did make one severe faux pa when I interfered in a scene between Beth and Master Watts. They were playing with the violet wand. When he turned something up she screamed out quite loudly. It was startling and I am afraid that stood up to ask her if she was all right. Mistress H corrected me before I could do any major damage though. So I suppose all is well.

So to answer your other questions, besides the humbler for which I lack the proper equipment anyway, I do not think I would much enjoy electrical play. If Beth, who is such an experienced sub, finds it so distressing then I think it is best that I avoid it.

There were several things that did appeal to me though. In particular flogging. I saw several people throughout the night being flogged. Some used very thin and stiff looking floggers that sung through the air when swung about. Others used thick, long and very soft leather that looked almost sensual. I think that I would prefer the latter as I do not consider myself a 'pain slut' (hope I used that term correctly).

I liked too how most of them were tied up to the Saint Andrews Cross. I had read about those in my books, but of course never seen one until last night. Then to see three at once was delightful. I found the makeshift chain one that was hung from the wall in the side room rather ingenious. But I actually preferred the rather ornate one in the main room. It seemed to be almost a work of art. Of course, I have not discovered how it feels to be tied to one but hopefully one day I will.

And the older Mistress in the corner was amazing with the whip. It cracked and echoed so loudly with each stroke. She seemed in complete control, landing each blow directly where she wished upon the sub's back. The sound was like thunder, terrifying and yet soothing at the same time. The red welts that criss-crossed the sub's back when she finished were a work of art (yes, I know that I used that word before but it seems the only appropriate one).

I do not think that I had any what you call triggers. And honestly, much of what I saw was like a kid in a candy store. I want to try this and that and that and that. So, yes, I will most definitely be back. I am hoping to make the daytime party in a couple of weeks. I would like your thoughts on a couple of things before then though.

I kind of messed up pretty badly during a scene between Beth and Master Watts. He had her bound with rope and they were playing with the violet wand. I was sitting nearby with a group of others, just watching. She seemed to be really enjoying it until he turned a dial then she screamed out in real pain. Even though I have read and read about not interfering with a scene, it was the most natural thing to just reach out for her, ask if she was all right. Luckily Mistress Havisham was nearby and stopped me from anything further.

She was very nice about it and I apologized. But she made a comment asking who my protector is? I did not realize that I needed one. I mean I know that I am an unattached submissive and all but I am also a grown woman. Do I need a 'protector' to come to the club? What the heck does a protector do anyway? How do you get one even?

***

Tara paused for a couple of moments. She was confused and a bit upset about what happened with Josh last night. She desperately wished that she could talk to someone about it. She considered for several long moments whether Peter might be that person, a sounding board. But in the end, she felt that she did not know the man well enough to reveal her lack of good judgment in such matters. Reluctantly, she signed the message and hit the send message.

She looked at her phone once more. It was almost ten-thirty and still no word from him. Not a single new text message. She was beginning to feel that she truly had been used. And it hurt. Worse than she would have expected it to given how little time she had known the man.

She knew she should get to work. When you run your own business, it has to come first. You cannot afford to get distracted so easily from your work. She knew that but still she found herself way too restless to work. Instead she puttered around the kitchen cleaning a bit. She checked her phone and the laptop every couple of minutes for messages from him. And each time she got more discouraged, more disgusted with herself.

She practically jumped up and down like a child on Christmas morning when the computer said that she had a message. But her face fell once more when she saw that it was not from him. But Peter had responded quickly. She opened it although not with the enthusiasm that she ought to have perhaps.

***

Tara,

I am sorry if Mistress H gave you the wrong impression. No, you did nothing wrong by coming to the club alone. All are welcome: partnered and unpartnered, experienced and inexperienced, young, old, male, female and other. We readily accept all. So please do not feel that you need to stand on such formalities before visiting us again.

As for your other questions, as with most things in this lifestyle, there is no cut and dry answer. A protector can be many different things to different people. To some it is nothing more than a trusted friend from whom to seek advice, a person to turn to for information and guidance. To others, it is more a Dominant in absentia type thing, where this person assumes much of the responsibilities for the care and oversight of a sub until she finds the right Dom. I find this latter pompous and pretentious. But then again those words apply to many (Doms/Dommes) in this world.

Personally, I believe (from our brief acquaintance) that what you need is not a protector but a mentor. And that role is pretty much the same in this lifestyle as it is in the business world...someone more experienced to offer you his/her opinion, advice and insight but that would be all it was. The decisions would be yours to make as you saw fit...and you would accept the consequences of those choices.

As to how you get one? The same way you find a Dom...you get to know people, find out who you can trust, whose counsel you respect. Then you ask them if they would be comfortable being your 'protector'/mentor. The two of you then negotiate to agree upon the limits of that role that works best for you both, same as you negotiate limits with a Dom before you start playing.

I hope that makes sense and look forward to hearing from you soon.

P

***

Tara stared at those words, read and re-read them several times. 'Same as you negotiate limits with a Dom before you start playing.' She knew that was the problem. She should not have given Joshua so much control, so much power, so soon, not without discussing, negotiating things more fully.

"Shit," she cursed herself. She had gone to one event. One lousy party. And she had made two colossal mistakes already. "Fuck," she cursed herself again as she re-read the message in its entirety. She studied Peter's definition of mentor. It was a concept that she could understand. As a solicitor her former husband had both sought out one and been one to younger colleagues. She bounced the idea around in her mind for several long moments before her fingers returned to the keyboard.

***

Peter,

Your concept of a mentor sounds exactly like what I need right now. I know that we have not known one another very long but I really could use your assistance finding my way around Rainbows and this complex lifestyle. Would you consider being my mentor?

Tara

***

She studied this message as well. It was short and simple. She wondered if perhaps she should not share more about why she needed a mentor. He knew about her interfering with Beth and Master Watts of course. But should she explain about Josh as well, she pondered as she made another cup of coffee.

It just seemed so personal. And although that was the purpose of having a mentor, to share your troubles with, seek their experienced views, this was still too raw. She felt more like a fool with each passing moment that her phone did not ping with a message from the man. No, until she knew if the man would agree to be her mentor, this was just too intimate to share. She hit the send button and cleared the kitchen table, determined to force her mind back to her work while she still had a business.

She made herself walk past the table with her cell phone and the open laptop. Enough of this personal crap! She had a business to run, she reminded herself once again as she walked down the hall to the spare bedroom that served as her sewing room/office. She picked up several pieces that she had already cut out and began to sew.

The wonderful thing about it was that sewing was something so mundane that it always relaxed her. She had learned to sew from her Nana as a young girl. Her ex-husband had often complained that she cluttered their home with her chinsey homemade shit when they could afford designer label instead. Of course, with two sons, she had never been able to indulge her passion for making baby girl clothes and doll stuff. But after the divorce, with no real work skills to speak of, she had turned that passion into a business making them for others.

She lost herself in her work. Every time those thoughts of the young man whose voice had caressed and cajoled her to do things that she never dreamed she would came to her mind, she forced herself to focus upon sewing the straightest seam imaginable. After who knew how long bent over the machine, its soft whir her constant companion, she stretched. She gently massaged the tight muscles in her neck and surveyed her progress. She had finished all the items that she had cut out. Six in total. It was a decent day's work for certain.

She heard her tummy growl and remembered that she had not eaten anything, only cup after cup of sweet coffee to fuel her efforts. She looked at the frilly doll outfits on the bed, an intense feeling of pride and longing filled her heart. They were beautiful to be sure. It always saddened her that most of her clients were adult collectors. These outfits would adorn some antique doll to be sat upon a shelf or in a display cabinet, never to be dirtied or know the love of a little girl. It seemed wrong somehow, but it paid her bills.

She shook her head at the melancholy that seemed to have gripped her thoughts. First Josh. Then her faux pas at Rainbows. And now this. She needed to snap out of it. Perhaps food would help. She retraced her earlier steps back to the kitchen. She forced herself to ignore the laptop and phone on the table. Food first, she commanded herself.

She looked in the refrigerator but nothing appealed to her. She checked out the cupboard and finally decided to go with a can of soup and crackers. It was not the gourmet meals that she once made for her husband and his frequent guests but it was nutritious. She warmed it in the microwave and sat at the table.

Only after she had finished half of the bowl of soup did she allow herself to push the power button on the laptop that would bring it back to life. She hit the refresh button on her Internet browser window. There was a message waiting for her. She smiled as she opened it.

***

Dear Tara,

You certainly are easy. Ha-ha! Seriously though, you are right. It is a bit early yet. You do not know me that well. I could be some radical crazy or control freak (I am not). These things take time to develop.

On the other hand, the very fact that you asked so quickly leads me to believe that you do need someone to keep you out of trouble. Trouble! That is your new name.

So Trouble...on a temporary basis...until you find your way around the BDSM world and make some new friends, I agree to serve as a mentor of sorts. We will discuss it more face-to-face when you come to Rainbow's next week. For now, please try to stay out of any more trouble!

P

***

Tara wanted to deny his claims that she was trouble. But given the complicated situation that she had managed to find herself in on just one trip to the club even she could not deny his words. She picked up her bowl and cup and took them to the sink. She washed them up before returning to check her emails. Two more orders thankfully. She would spend this evening trying to catch up by cutting out patterns. It would be a much better use of her time than being used by a young Dom she decided.

Her phone pinged. She picked it up and noticed the time. It was almost six in the evening. She had been focused on work. It pleased her that despite her mental turmoil she could get so much done. Then she noticed that she had nearly a dozen messages. She opened them and sighed with relief.

Josh: Good morning. Well afternoon I guess. Sorry I forgot to mention last night that I had a staff meeting this morning. I would have texted you before it but don't know what time you wake up.

Josh: I really enjoyed talking to you yesterday and getting to know you. The phone sex was a nice extra too. You are really hot. I can't believe your age though. Really?

There were half a dozen more, almost one an hour until this latest one.

Josh: I am sorry. I don't know what I did wrong but I must have done something for you to ignore me. I am no stalker so I won't bother you anymore. It really was a pleasure talking to you yesterday and I hope that you find what you are looking for in the lifestyle. I guess this is good-bye.

Tara's fingers flew across the keys as she typed her response. Her plans to get more doll clothes cut out that evening completely forgotten as she lost herself in him...again.