Painting the Bathroom

Have you ever been in one of those moments when time slows down? This was the moment for me. My hand reached for the shower door as my assailant was falling to the floor of the shower. I think I kicked him or maybe I stepped on him in my haste to get out of there. Where was Ben? The door opened I jumped out and there standing with a shocked look on his face was Ben. The next thing I noticed was he was naked and aroused. Then it hit me. The face, I had seen that face before. At the mall, in the unfinished bathroom, he is the contractor's helper. What the fuck was going on. And then the moment was over.

"You fucking bastard!" I hit him I had just hit Ben. The slap might have been heard on the next block, it was the first of many as I punched, slapped and kick Ben out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. "How could you do this you motherfucker?" I didn't give him time to answer. I had him off balance and kicked him one last time between the legs. Ben went down and curled into a ball.

Funny what goes through your mind at moments like this; Modesty, I needed to cover up. I needed a gun. Who was going to protect me? Certainly not Ben, I started dressing while Ben curled up on the floor. My cell where the fuck is my cell, I frantically looked for my purse. All the time I am not doing a good job of getting dressed.

Found it, my purse. Cell phone, cell phone... Ahh... nine-one-one. I hear movement from the bathroom. "Don't you dare come out here you bastard I have my cell and a push of the button will have the police here in minutes. They'll have to collect your remains as I have a shotgun pointed at the door. You come through that door and I will shoot you." I hope he thought I wasn't bluffing. I really wish I had a gun.

At this point, the movements stopped in the bathroom. Ben started to come around. I had most of my clothes on and my finger on the send button. How the fuck did I get into this situation?

"Sara why did you hit me?"

"Your bastard friend in there was going to rape me. You useless fuck. How could you do that to us?"

"Rape you Sara? He wasn't going to rape you. I asked him here so that we could have a threesome. We were going to make love to you, together."

"Find his clothes Ben. Get him dressed and get him out of here. Then you and I are going to have a talk."

Ben rose unsteadily from the floor, I made a point of showing him that I was armed with my cell, my finger ready to dial. I purposefully kept the bed between us. Ben collected the man's clothes and opened the door to the bathroom.

"Don't shoot me." The guy yelled when the door opened and Ben put his head in.

"I'm sorry she is not taking this well, don't worry she doesn't have a gun. Just get dressed and leave, I'll handle this."

It didn't take him long to dress and leave. Ben went to get dressed and I told him no. "Leave your clothes, living room now. I am going to talk and you are going to listen."

I marched him out to the living room and had him sit on the couch.

I paced, I was at the time furious. "Just sit and listen, I don't want to hear a word out of you. Nod your head if you understand." He nodded his head. "I told you that this fantasy of yours was and is never going to happen. Did you think I was kidding?"

"Sa-"

"I said shut up. That means don't talk, your actions tonight have spoken enough for you." I was starting to see red. You can't imagine how worked up this had me. "You have fucked everything up Ben. What kind of a wimp are you. Do you think you are not man enough for me? Is that it? Or perhaps you think you're married to a slut. What part of I am a one man woman did you not understand?"

"Don't move." I went into the bedroom and retrieved my purse. "I am going to my mother's I will contact you in a few days when I have calmed down. You will not contact me. No phone calls, no showing up at my work, no contacting my parents or any of our friends looking for me. Got it." At that point, I stormed out the house leaving Ben naked and stunned on the couch. I didn't look back as I pulled the car out of the driveway. I got half way to mom's house and realized I didn't have a change of clothes. I guess I am going shopping tomorrow.

A few days turned into a few weeks. I must have apologized a million times to my mother for not explaining what made me show up at her place in the middle of the night. Nor did I explain why I would not return to my home or talk with Ben. The anger never left me. Not for months, I was so angry that I retained a divorce lawyer within days of leaving Ben.

My lawyer wasn't happy with what I wanted. No counseling, if Ben wanted to see a shrink that was his business. I did not want anything from the house that would remind me of Ben. The equity in the house was almost non-existent so I told her to leave it to him. I would keep my car only to sell it and buy another. Clothes, dishes, wedding album and presents I left all to Ben. He could have the keepsakes to remember the marriage he had destroyed. I wanted nothing. I handled all of this through my lawyer, I never once spoke to Ben, and there was nothing to say. The divorce was final after a year as Ben kept dragging his feet on everything always asking if I would talk to him. I gave him nothing but silence, he didn't listen when I talked before there was no point in talking now.

I moved away, took a transfer to another branch in Albany. There I dedicated my time to rising up the ladder. There I met John Bonecker. We took it slow. He was gentle with me and I sensed he could feel the anger that still resided in me. I fell in love with him and he always tells me it took me much more time to realize it than it did him. We were married within three years of my divorce from Ben.

Life was good and I would visit my mother as often as I could. She told me Ben was still living in what use to be our house. I told her I didn't care, that I was never going back there.

As things have a way of happening, I gave birth to a little girl in the first year of my marriage to John. And then I did the most evil thing I have ever done. I wrote Ben that damned letter.

Ben.

I have not contacted you nor did I ever think I would contact you. I know now that that was a mistake. I have hurt myself by not gaining closure on the events that destroyed our marriage.

I blame you for that. I will always blame you that. I don't think you even know what you did. So I will tell you. By bringing that man into our life, into our shower you told me something. Something no wife should ever be told. I was just a fuck to you. Our wedding vows said "Forsaking all others" and you somehow forgot that. I was not your Lioness to be serviced by whomever you choose. That was ugly and cruel. I felt like a piece of meat. I don't think you know how degrading that is.

You might think I am being unreasonable, that it isn't cheating if you approve of me fucking some other guy. Well it is cheating. We had an agreement. I was yours and yours alone. And you were mine. Exclusive is what a marriage is. I told you that you could have a fantasy as long as it stayed a fantasy. But that wasn't good enough for you. You had to go and ruin everything. I haven't told anyone why we got divorced. It is too embarrassing to think that the man I loved was a sick pervert with such low self-esteem. Or worse had ideas that his wife was a slut to hand around to other men.

Good-bye Ben I hope you are getting help with your mental problem.

Sara

I attached a picture of John and little Julia to the letter. On the back I wrote: She could have been yours.

March16th 2013

New York City, New York(AP) The body of
Ben Dover was found this morning in his home.
First indications are that he died from a single
gunshot wound to the head. A picture and a letter
were recovered at the scene. The police have ruled
it a suicide. Next of kin have been notified. The
police are not saying whether the letter or photo are
linked to Mr. Dover's death. Mr. Dover's body was
found in an unfinished bathroom on the main floor.
It was a macabre scene with blood covering one of
the walls.