Paradigm Shift Ch. 02

I looked at the woman I loved. Yes, I still loved her. My heart ached for her. The anguish of what she asked washed over me. Either I dumped her completely and went through the rest of my life knowing I'd lost the best thing that had ever happened to me, or I had to accept that our relationship had a major kink in it that would lead to her periodically fucking some other man and that in turn would lead to me eating my heart out. I guessed that I'd end up hating her some of the time, and that wouldn't do.

I voiced my thoughts to KC in a bitter voice, "So I either dump you, as I am inclined to do right now, or accept you along with your habit of fucking some other guys once in a while? There's no middle ground?" I realized how angry I sounded as I spoke.

KC was silent a long time, and then spoke in a measured tone. "I don't mean to compound the problem, but I am always open to you doing the same thing. I know at least four women at last night's party wanted to fuck you, including Darlene. It's not a permission thing. We don't own each other. It's a tolerance issue and other stuff. I don't understand jealousy, because ... well, I just don't."

I asked, "What about faithfulness, trust, and fidelity?" If we were married this would be adultery. You would have broken a vow. I thought in many ways we were already married."

KC shook her head, "I'm not that stringent or value laden. I'm also not religious and neither are you. All those terms are relative to me. What I broke last night were some of those tacit values with you by not talking ahead of time about them with you. I was very wrong to do that, and I will forever regret that. I am sorry. I am hoping that you will renegotiate our relationship to allow this, so that we can be together ... so we can love each other the way we have been ... the way I still do.

"I want to act on my sexual urges not repress them. I want you involved too. I'd like you there with me sometimes, even participating. I've told you I've done group sex, and I loved it. I want it again. It's animalistic, raw, licentious, sexy, crude maybe, and a list of other things that excite me ... that I need. You are part of it, but not all of it for me. I'm sorry; I wish you were.

"I am being totally honest with you. I always have been. I fault myself for last night -- not talking ahead of time so you'd know what my thinking was. I didn't know I needed that kind of fulfillment until that guy started to turn me on. The opportunity arose, and instead of pushing it away, I got involved with him. He means nothing other than he was a hot fuck ... that's all. I've wanted to have this conversation for months, almost since we met, but how do you protect a growing relationship when you know you've got a hand grenade in your pocket that you need to toss some day? I've botched this I know, but I ..."

KC sobbed into both of her hands, "Oh, God, Jim. Please take me back. Please let's be together." She cried a river of tears, bent over with her face in her two hands. She made keening sounds as she held her face. She was in real pain.

I stood and paced around the room. I was also in pain. My gut ached as though I'd been kicked repeatedly. My balls ached. My heart ached. I had a migraine that wouldn't quit that made my morning hangover seem like small change. On top of all that I started to cry. I wanted my princess, but not on her terms.

I flopped into the chair again. "KC, I need to think about all this. What you're asking for is beyond reason. I'm not sure I can be the person for you. I thought we were soul mates, and that we were made for each other. I've never been so enthralled with anyone in my life as you. But this ... how do I come to grips with what you're asking? I just don't know. Give me some time to think about it."

"Can I at least be with you?" KC asked. "Can I come home and be with you? Please."

I shook my head. "No, not just yet -- not at all. I think it's better if you're not. I left a suitcase on our bed in case you want other clothes. You have a key; I won't lock you out again. I'm sorry for doing that last night, but I was ... I AM royally pissed. You can always come in and get your stuff, but don't move back in until I'm clear about where we're going, and if there's an 'us.' Try not to come in while I'm here. If there's not an 'us' I'll want you to move out."

She looked at the diamond on her left finger. In a voice tinged with abject fear, she asked in a near whisper, "Do you want the ring? To stop our engagement?" The face she displayed to me was ugly in her grief, and full of pain and remorse. She sucked both lips into her mouth to try to stop from sobbing.

"No. Not yet, or maybe I should say unless you want to stop it."

"NO. GOD, NO. I LOVE YOU," KC practically shouted at me for emphasis. She sobbed. She started to rise to come to me, but stopped herself as I held my hand out in rejection. I don't know what I would have done. I wanted to hold her so much, but at the same time I was in probably more pain that she was.

We were quiet for a long time with nothing said. She cried and cried. Eventually, she stood and went to our bedroom. A few minutes later, without a word, she left the house carrying the extra bag. I cried for hours wondering if I'd ever see her again. I couldn't eat, and eventually I just cried myself to sleep again. This time I skipped the booze.

* * * * *

Six days later, Don walked up my driveway just as I put my lawnmower away. He handed me an ice-cold beer he'd brought with him. "How're you doing?"

I shook my head. "I'm a fucking disaster. I may as well not have gone to work this week. I put in the time, but accomplished little. All I can think about is KC. I've only had a few hours sleep all week, and that only from simple exhaustion. I physically hurt as though I were in a fight with the heavy weight kick boxing champ who wanted to drive his foot through my gut."

He nodded, "The feeling is apparently mutual. She called in sick all week and stayed in her room and cried, except when Edie could coax her out to eat a little something, which she didn't do. I think she's lost weight. She really loves you man. In the morning, she'd get up so she could watch you leave for work, and then she break into uncontrollable sobbing again. She watched you come home too followed by more crying."

I posed, "Then why her crazy ultimatum: love me but I'm going to fuck other guys. If I weren't absolutely as off my rocker as I am, I'd would have already told her to stuff it and get lost. I keep trying to find a middle ground. Wasn't there some guru who said there's always a 'win-win' solution out there? If there is, why can't I come up with it?"

Don said, "You need to clear your head of this stuff. Go out with some other women, and see that they're all bat-shit crazy in their own way. KC's more sane than just about every woman I know, even including my own wife."

I looked at him and asked in a neutral tone, "Have you fucked KC this week?"

Don looked pissed, "FUCK YOU. Not only no, but hell no, and for lots of reasons. First, I love you and I wouldn't aggravate the situation by doing that, although I do not retract my willingness to do so at some future date if the situation arises. Second, she is hurting about you so bad all anyone or I would be doing is taking advantage of a very wounded woman. I am a kind man. Third, you are being a first-class ASSHOLE, and I'm afraid for my body if I trespassed on that turf. There are more, but that'll do for now, ASSHOLE."

I shook my head, "I'm sorry. It's not you. She's blown away every iota of trust I had about her. If I can't see her, I'll always be thinking she's fucking someone else."

"Come on, KC's not like that. I heard her talking to Edie, trying to explain herself. She loves you, and what she needs is not weekly or daily or anything like that. It's like rarely or occasionally. The issue isn't frequency anyway. Get that thought out of your head. She pledged to Edie that you'd know ahead of time if it ever happened again; she even wants you with her, probably with Darlene."

"How'd Edie take it?"

"We haven't told you, but Edie already fucks other guys; she tells me about them, and I get all turned on. We fuck like animals, and then we forget it all. I don't worry about her or what she's doing when I'm not around. If anything, I hope she's having a good time, and if she's having a hundred orgasms some afternoon by some long-haired drummer she just met, I hope they're good ones."

"Jeeze, Don. You're a case too. Have you watched Edie fuck someone like Marcie's husband watched her?"

"Yeah, in fact I have. I've then even eaten the cum from her pussy, and then had sloppy seconds. Don't knock it until you try it. There are always other options besides anger, separation, anxiety, and bitterness. I've decided to come down on the other side. I love Edie like you love KC. Try it."

I drank some of my beer, and we were quiet for a while. What Don had said disturbed me.

I finally said, "KC would freak out if I dated some other woman."

Don shook his head, "It was her idea actually. She's kind of panicked that you'll meet someone and fall out of love with her, but she wants you to see that there are other people out there in weird relationships. She knows it's risky. She even suggested several women."

"Who?"

"Marcie, Darlene, Cameron -- at your work, and Kelsey -- Tyler's wife, but she said if you found others to please feel you have her support."

I rolled my eyes. I said, "Maybe, that's all I'll say." Right at that moment the idea of seeing another woman seemed like it would add a level of complexity and complication to my head that might make the sphere on my shoulders explode.

Don sat up, "Hey, change of subject -- slightly. Edie and I are doing a cookout tomorrow. Everyone is coming, and we're hoping you'd be there."

I shook my head, "I'm not ready to see KC just yet."

"She said she wants you to come to the party. She will leave and go stay at Darlene's."

"I wouldn't be much fun. I don't want to have to explain myself to everyone."

"Too late. Everyone within a five-block radius knows what happened, and the complications of the situation. After we got back to the house last week, we had a steady stream of visitors for hours wondering what had happened and if they could help you or KC. No one will ask you about it, although I believe more than a few will tell you to just roll with it. Anyway, we're starting at four o'clock, as usual. Don't worry about bringing anything. Edie has you covered."

"I'll think about it."

* * * * *

The barbecue was pretty much as advertised. A few of our A-list friends made a comment or two about hanging in there, forgiving and forgetting, leaning towards each other a little, and so on. I didn't reply much, except to shrug. I found pleasure in listening to Doug talk about his new old car, and the pleasure he was getting from it. I watched him closely, noting that he seemed quite normal given that the last time I'd seen him he'd been jerking off as he watched some other guy fuck his wife.

Doug even came up to me later that afternoon. "I know you watched Marcie fucking that guy the other night, and that you saw me. I want you to know, I was one hundred percent all right with what was happening. I was aroused and happy, and I hope it happens again -- maybe with you. I know Marcie would like that."

"I don't know what to say, Doug."

"You don't have to say anything. I would hope your knowledge of our preferences for how we play and love in our relationship won't change our friendship. I know we're kind of different from what people consider as a norm, but we like it. It's who we are. You know there is no normal."

I nodded, "I won't let it change anything, but won't it change if I 'do' Marcie?"

"Not in my book. You could even become her steady lover, and that would do nothing but make both of us pleased. She talked recently of taking on someone on a longer-term basis, rather than just having an occasional one-night stand."

"How do you ... I don't know, put up with her fucking other guys?"

Doug smiled, "I love it. It's arousing. It's like the ultimate gift of love I can give her -- complete sexual freedom. It's also my way of telling society to go fuck themselves."

"And you continue to trust Marcie? When you're at work, how do you know she's not off fucking some new lover?"

Doug shrugged. "She'll me about it later if she does. We'll make love. She's not a slut about it, at least not yet. We've been like this for eight years. Sometimes I catch myself at work wondering if she's gone off for a long lunch with somebody, and whether they're fucking their brains out in some motel -- or even in our own bed. I get turned on, and I get worried sometimes, but overall I have to admit I like the emotions I get."

"You're a cuckold?"

"Yeah. It's not a big deal. She doesn't lock my penis up in cock cage, or humiliate me too much. Depending on whom she's with, if I'm there, she might do a little with snide comments, but I get a kick out of it -- I really do. I know it's just role playing, although the other guy might not. A few times, we've gotten really heavy into it, but I still don't mind -- you know comments about who's a better lover, has a better cock, and things like that. So what?"

About that time, Marcie came up to the two of us. Right in front of her husband, she planted a kiss on me that made my toes curl. She also ground her mons into my thigh, and then reached between us and squeezed the bulge in my shorts.

She said, "Oh, this is really nice."

"Errr, Marcie, stop! People might see us."

"Oh, everyone knows I'm a bit of a slut, and neither Doug nor I care. Half the people here know I want to make love with you too." She laughed gaily, but moved to my side. She did reach up and stroke Doug's face in a loving way.

Marcie turned, "I bet you've gone a whole week with no sex ... except maybe with your right hand. I'd love it if you came home with me in a little while. We could ... talk ... and see where things lead." She leaned in and planted another hot kiss on my lips. She lingered in the kiss, allowing me to savor her lips and the physical presence of a hot and willing woman.

As we parted, I looked around but no one else at the cookout seemed to be paying us any attention except Edie who stood about ten feet away. She gave me a lascivious grin and a thumbs-up gesture of approval, and then walked away to join another circle of guests.

Marcie had turned me on. I had thought about sex with KC all week, and I have to admit even having sex with Marcie. So, her proposition broke through my armor. I started to get hard, and I needed sex with someone other than my right hand.

I turned to Marcie and said, "I'll be at your house at nine o'clock -- after this party ends." I finished eating, did a little clean up to assuage my guilt feeling for not bringing anything, and then I went and bid Don and Edie goodbye and thanked them for their usual hospitality.

When I knocked on Doug and Marcie's door, he opened it right away. "Come on in, and thank you for coming," he said in a tone tinged with excitement.

Marcie appeared, barefoot and highly appealing still in her scoop neck top and shorts that she'd worn at the cookout. She flowed into my arms and soon had her tongue down my throat in a gesture of genuine friendship. God, she could French kiss well. I realized instantly how much I missed doing this with KC, but I pushed that thought away.

We went into the living room, and I noted that Doug disappeared leaving the two of us in the dimly lit room. Marcie seated me on the sofa, and then sank into my lap, spreading her legs apart as she wiggled in a move that invited me to do things below the waist to her. I can take a subtle hint.

A minute later, Marcie was topless and I was nursing on a beautiful pair of breasts with ripe nipples and large areolas. She was moaning, and our kisses were even hotter. She loved to have me lightly bite on her nipple and pull it away from her body slightly, bringing part of her breast mass in my direction. I thought at one point that she even had a small orgasm from my oral work.

Five minutes after that Marcie was naked, and so was I. She had my cock pretty well down her throat in a further pleasant and neighborly gesture of companionship. I recalled that old adage about being able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Marcie had that kind of power and skill. I was a 'ten' on my ten-point hardness scale.

I fingered her slit as we kissed again, bringing her right to the brink of an orgasm.

Marcie pleaded, "Oh, God, Matt; fuck me."

I did. Marcie lay back on the sofa, and I sank my wrought iron shaft into her sweet pussy. I was unusually swollen from our brief foreplay, and she was positively dripping in welcoming juices. We slid together.

I barely made a dozen strokes before Marcie came. She clutched me to her writhing body as the pleasure pulsed through her, and then we went back to fucking. She moaned, "Oh, Fuck, you are really good. I think ... you're the largest I've ever had. You are hitting every hot spot inside me that I know about. You're a master."

She was good too. Ten minutes later, I came deep inside Marcie, leaving a huge deposit of man cum in that warm velvet sheath of hers. I moaned, "You're pretty good too. Jeeze, you are one hot woman." As I sprayed her insides, I appreciated having an outlet after an unexpected week without any sex.

We lay there with me on top of her, kissing her. Marcie's legs were wrapped around my upper thighs preventing me from leaving the warm nest inside her. I could feel her body pulse and spasm at random around my shaft. The subtle motions made me hard again, so I started to pump into her again at a slow rate.

Marcie crooned, "Ooooh, Matt's going to keep fucking Marcie. Marcie really likes that. No one has ever cum in me, and then without pulling out done that again. What a fabulous man and cock. What a great lover you are." I took that statement as a personal challenge, and we got into a serious lovemaking session after that, changing positions several times as we did.

I noted that Doug had snuck back into the room, and was sitting nude in a chair watching us and stroking his cock. At first, I was put off by his appearance. I almost asked him to leave, but then I thought, 'What the hell? Do I really care if he watches me plunder his wife and give her a bunch of orgasms as I splash all over her insides with my cum?' I left him be.

We moved to the plush carpeting in front of the sofa, and Marcie rode me with her breasts bouncing around. She was a sexy sight, and made me even harder as I watched her. We French kissed and pawed at each other constantly.

Marcie repeatedly told me I was the best lover she'd ever had, even emphasizing that point so that it included her husband as an inadequate lover. Each time when she said that she'd have another orgasm. She told me I had stretched her cunt like no other man, and also assured me that I was hitting places inside her that no man had ever touched before. She kept urging me to go harder, faster, and deeper, and I always tried to comply.

I came again, and left another major deposit of my semen inside her vagina. This time Marcie was on top, and we had put on a fabulous floorshow for her husband. I was sure Doug had cum a few minutes before we did from sounds that he made. I wasn't keeping score, so ignored the moans he made.

Marcie pulled away from me and lay back on the silky Oriental rug.

I buried my face in her cunt only a few seconds later. I tongued her wet slit -- wet with the combination of my cum and her girl juices. I lapped and sucked at her vaginal hole, even reaching in with two fingers to pull out some of my spend so I could suck the mix of fluids into my mouth.