Paradise Found Ch. 02

Alex

It was Friday, two days after I met Ash on the Metro. The hour was drawing near when I was supposed to meet El for coffee, but I still hadn't decided what to say. It was a brisk night, but as the coffee shop was only about 3/4 of a mile away, I decided to walk and mull over my situation with El.

The same arguments played out in my head as had for the last two weeks. I wanted her as my girlfriend, but I couldn't escape the fact that I hadn't seen her in a romantic light before two weeks ago. Her body may have changed - ok, that was an understatement - but how could I convince myself my intentions were honorable if I was only ready for a serious relationship now that I found her desirable?

Knowing that she liked me that way made this even more difficult, since I knew I would almost certainly be ruining our friendship if we followed that path and it didn't work out. The fact that I wasn't exactly local at school didn't help either.

She was my best friend. I could tell her anything, and had. She had been my stalwart confidant when Ali Perkins led me on mercilessly in our junior year. Damn, I was obsessed with Ali. El listened with infinite patience as I recounted and dissected every nuance of what Ali said and did, trying to discern if any of it revealed any kind of regard for me. Even after I sobered on Ali, realizing that she was just looking for a decently attractive guy she could screw around with when the mood struck, I never heard one word of judgement from El.

I have never thought of her as Mensa material, but she might as well be a genius by the way she can solve social issues. I would give her the particulars and she would think for a minute and come back with some incredibly insightful advice that I would never have thought of. Like the time she helped me handle my boss at work. The asshole was riding me for weeks; nothing I could do was good enough.

After I had a talk with him using suggestions, the guy eased off and even got friendly, inviting me to a poker game he hosted. She could be fiery and competitive at times - I never envied her opponents when I came to watch her play field hockey in high school, but she's always fun to be around, and very considerate of others.

I reached the shopping strip and got butterflies in my stomach. I still had no idea what to say, but I figured honesty was the best policy in this case. She was my best friend, after all, and I'm pretty good at winging it.

Elise

Blowing on my hot cup of Earl Gray tea to cool it off, I bounced my leg restlessly on the ball of my foot as I sat and waited for Alex to show up. I was nervous as hell. Did these tables have to be so small? Each time my leg bounced it struck the underside.

The place wasn't crowded, but there was enough of a din that our conversation wouldn't be overheard. I had been just about to send Alex a text to ask him to meet up tonight when I got one from him asking if we could talk. We agreed to meet here at 8:00 pm after dinner. I checked my watch for the fiftieth time; five minutes till...

I grew again last night. A pretty big one too. It took an hour or so to calm myself down, and I didn't have Alex with me to "work" through it. I was just over 7'3" now. Luckily, the new clothes I had picked up still fit, but I went out to get some new pieces today for our date. I wanted to look my best for him, and I needed something that fit perfectly. My yoga pants were fine - the tighter the better there, but I supplemented elsewhere.

The lingering looks the male patrons were shooting me certainly bolstered my confidence. Looking down at my outfit, I had to admit I looked pretty damned sexy. I went with a royal blue clingy top with sleeves that were made entirely of lace. They showed off my long slender arms perfectly. The neckline was modest, but low enough to hint at my impressive assets. I paired it with my old pair of black yoga pants and a little cotton vest that opened in the front and displayed my arms. Who said a girl can't be warm and sexy?

I heard the bell on the door ring and saw him walk in. He was wearing that black leather jacket I loved. Damn, he looked hot. Scruffy hair, little bit of stubble on his chin, slightly wrinkled jeans and beat up sneakers. I always marveled at the fact that his best look seemed to be when he didn't try at all. Guys were so lucky; I must have spent two hours getting ready for this and he probably left right from the dinner table after a nap.

My heart hammered in my chest as he looked around the room. It didn't take him long - when I stood up I was pretty much the tallest thing in the room. He gave me his crooked smile and started to move toward me. I "squeed" a little on the inside while butterflies hammered the walls of my stomach.

As Alex moved toward the table I circled around to the other side and sat down. Completely unnecessary, but I wanted to give him a glimpse of my ass. It looked fantastic in these pants, which might as well have been painted on with my recent growth. The table was one of those little ones in the corner, clearly meant for two. He stood there next to me and I thought I saw him check me out for a second. Ok, so the outfit worked. Nice!

"Seriously?" He deadpanned, giving me a look, "It would have been nice if you picked a table that fit both of us."

He acted put out, but his smirk put the lie to it. I knew he could be sarcastic when he's nervous. He must have noticed my growth spurt.

I looked down and realized my legs were so long they basically took up the entire underside of the table. Oh, yeah. "Shut up" I chuckled, hitting him lightly in the upper arm with the back of my hand.

He rubbed it a bit. Did I just hurt him, or was he messing with me? I noted how his comment about my size hadn't made me feel self-conscious as I would have expected it to.

I looked around for another table and found one designed for four. We headed for it and sat down. He took the chair across and on the opposite side to avoid hitting my legs. Our thighs touched under the table and I made no move to pull away. He didn't either.

"What do you have there?" He pointed at my cup.

"Just a cup of Earl Gray. You know I don't like coffee"

He laughed. "Then why did you ask to meet at a coffee shop?"

"I dunno, isn't that just what adults do when they want to meet up to talk?" I shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Better this than if you rode your bike to my house and asked my mom "Can Alex come out and play?" like you used to." He used a goofy tone to pantomime and I had to clutch the table as I laughed, reveling in how simple it always was with him.

It felt so good to be around him. How did we always know exactly what to do to set me at ease?

"Hey!" I whined. "Wait a minute! If I remember right, you texted me to meet up, mister. So what did you want to talk about?"

I wasn't about to tell him I had already typed up a text to him and was revising the wording for the fourth time when his came in. I'd never seen Alex nervous around me, but he certainly looked that way now. Was he fidgeting?

"Well, about us." he said. "I figured we should talk about it. If there's anything between us, I mean."

I almost giggled. He was so cute when he was nervous. My hopes soared. Did he feel the way I did?

I waited for him to continue, but he seemed to be asking, not telling, so I figured I'd take control here. This was no time to be timid.

"Alex, let me put my cards on the table."

I rested my long slender fingers on his hand and caught him noticing the difference in our sizes since I had grown last night. I leaned down to meet his eye line, bringing his attention back up by looking directly into his beautiful blues.

"I've been in love with you for quite some time" He looked surprised when I said the "L"-word, but I continued, "I know you haven't always thought of me as more than a friend, but aren't the best relationships built on a strong friendship? The other day when we you came to my house to catch up, I felt chemistry between us." I looked sly and continued, "I'm pretty sure you did too.

"I've been living in fear these last couple weeks that you regret what you did as a spontaneous act of passion, because I saw it as a beautiful thing. Something that could be the start of a great relationship." I didn't know I had it in me, but I sensed he was taking this positively, so I bulled ahead.

"I know you Alex. Better than anyone ever has. Better than you, I think. I know you're passionate about your photography hobby, but think you're not artistic enough to be really good - you are, you know. I know you love helping people, and want to be a doctor not for the money, but for the good feeling you get when you solve someone's problems and make them feel better. I know you'd rather have five really close friends than 30 friends you only talk to occasionally; and more importantly, I know that you know how to be a great friend."

He smiled. Not a fake smile, but certainly a self-conscience one. Heh, I knew he didn't take compliments well either, but I wasn't going to say that out loud. God, he was adorable!

"And I love all of those things about you. My...condition has kept me in a funk over the last several months, but since I've been with you, I haven't felt that at all. In fact, I've even come to appreciate it, in certain ways" I looked at him, a little embarrassed.

"You always make me feel so good about myself."

Huh. He really did.

Now that I'd said it, I realized it was the reason I had fallen in love with him years ago. Sensing the mood getting heavy, I back pedaled.

"Anyway, I'm rambling, but, well...now you know how I feel now."

He hadn't said anything. I wasn't getting nervous just yet though. His body language said he was receptive to what I was saying. Now I just hoped he feels the same way.

Alex

When El stopped speaking, I realized I had become lost in her deep brown eyes. Someone could have been robbing the barista at gunpoint and I would have missed the whole thing. All the arguments spinning around in my head disappeared in a flash, and I knew I needed her. Quickly, I picked up where she left off, wanting to assuage her vulnerability.

"El, I don't know what to say. You give me too much credit. I want us to be together too right now, but I worry about you..."

My nervousness was fading, but knowing this was an important moment, I didn't want to screw this up by shoving my foot in my mouth.

"Worry about me? But why? I want this!" She seemed surprised, but happy.

Her candor had impressed me, and I owed it to her to respond in kind.

"I worry that one of the best things I have in this world, your friendship, might be lost in the process. I worry that I might be letting the attraction I felt for you the last time we saw each other cloud my judgment, warping my intentions into something less than honorable. And I worry...for other reasons." I didn't want to get into what I had learned from Ash about the virus, but I didn't see another way.

"What other reasons?" she asked, suspicious.

"Very recently I learned that it's likely that I'm infected with the virus too." she looked shocked, but I didn't give her a chance to ask, hurrying on. "...and while that doesn't mean as much for me as it does for you or other women, I'm lead to believe there can be certain...involuntary reactions, let's say, between men and women if both are infected."

Her face reddened as her thoughts must have drawn to our interlude. "Like, you mean what we felt when you came over my parent's house?"

"Yeah, like that. Supposedly it has to do with pheromones that the infected emit. It's very rare for men to do so, even among infected, but they do something to women that makes them lose inhibitions...and that's putting it pretty mildly"

"So, you're one of the male emitters then? Is that a problem?" she asked, looking confused. I needed to make her see it.

I hope I didn't look as embarrassed as I felt. Man up and tell the whole story Alex. "I met a woman on the Metro a couple days ago and nearly made a mistake. I tried to hold back out of concern for how you might feel about it! I realize we don't actually have a relationship yet, but your feelings are important to me."

"But-" she started to say, but I interrupted.

"BUT, the temptation was strong. To be frank, I don't know that I'll be able to stop myself every time. And even if I wanted to, some of these women are considerably bigger, and probably stronger, than me..."

She looked scandalized, "Oh my God, Alex, are you saying you think you'll be raped?!"

"Well, no, I'm not saying that. Just that, you know, physically, I'm not in a position of power with most female infected. If they want something badly enough, and aren't worried about the law, then it's possible... This woman on the train, she was very, uh, insistent."

I didn't want to worry her, so I thought it best to divert back to the topic at hand, "Regardless, maybe you can see why I worry now."

Elise

As I heard Alex talk about what had happened with this woman on the train, I was nearly overwhelmed with a desire to protect him. This bitch dared try to molest my Alex against his will?! I wanted her here, right in front of me. Let her try something with him with me around!

Realizing my heart rate had skyrocketed, I looked down and saw my knuckles were white. I was gripping the table so hard it looked like the ceramic edge might give out. Calm down, Elise, he's fine! Alex winced in pain, pulling his hand away from mine. He rubbed it with his other hand. I had crushed him!

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry Alex! I swear, I didn't mean to hurt you!" Fear colored my voice. I had hurt him because of my size! I'm a monster!

He didn't seem that upset. "No problem El. I'm fine, really. Just, maybe watch that new strength, eh?"

Thank God! He wasn't pissed at me. I'd die if I seriously hurt him. Still, I was shocked by how easy it was to do. He was right, I really need to be more careful in the future. More than that -- where had these intense feelings come from? I'd felt jealous of Alex's girls before, and I hated it when he got hurt, but the urge to defend him was so powerful I was almost overcome by it.

I needed a moment to calm down and process his words.

"Sorry, Alex, I just...need a minute. I'll be right back." I retreated to the little girls room to think a second.

I thought about the reaction I had to his news of the woman on the train. What baffled me was that my feeling wasn't jealousy. I only felt rage at his attacker, along with a need to see him well and safe. It seemed odd to me that I wouldn't care if he were with this other woman, but if she tried to force herself on him...

But Alex was being honest with me, and I needed to consider what he had told me. It was very sweet that he wanted to protect my feelings and do what's right by keeping our friendship platonic, but he seemed to miss the obvious part; his refusal would hurt much worse.

What had me conflicted was this business about other women. Men need variety in relationships, but I knew I would do whatever it took to keep him happy. On the other hand, I wasn't naive enough to think that I could contend with the promiscuity the virus might be programming into him. Truth be told, this was the first I'd heard about the symptoms of the male version.

Would I be upset if he cheated? Could I even call it "cheating" if he's telling me it may happen?

He hadn't outright said his intention was to sleep around, but after spending so much time around the attorneys at the office, I recognized terms when I heard them. He was letting me know what I might be getting into by being his girlfriend. In passing, I realized I was bargaining with myself, not Alex. Taking the fruit offered to me, no matter what the cost. But why not, after all?

When I weighed the sting of walking out of the coffee shop as nothing more than friends against the prospect of Alex with another woman, the former felt strong and bright, that latter muted and dim.

It was his love that I wanted exclusivity with, not his lust. And if he really was in danger because of his infection, he needed me. Who else would protect him? I could be strong for him; use that strength for something positive. Yes, I had to keep him safe.

Decision made, warmth suffused me with the knowledge that nothing stood between us any longer. I was too wrapped up in analyzing his words to see the bigger picture -- he wanted to be with me! My prayers had been answered and he would finally be mine. I felt like I could-

Suddenly, a wave of euphoria crashed over me as I walked back to our table. I went weak in the knees and almost stumbled. Oh shit... Not now! I just had one last night!

I hurried on toward Alex. My panicked look apparently telegraphed my predicament to Alex, who jumped up immediately, throwing a few bucks on the table for the bus boy and heading toward the door with me.

"My car, it's just down here on the right" I said.

There was no way I could drive, but I couldn't let this happen here in such a public place. The lighting in this parking lot was too good for privacy, even in the car.

"Can you drive?" I asked him as I jumped in the back seat. At least it was a 4 door.

Anticipating my request, he was already moving for the driver's door. I fished in my purse for the keys and handed them to him as I was assailed with a powerful orgasm. The car was my parent's full size sedan, but my height was making it difficult to fit in the back. I had to sit with my legs on the opposite side while hunched over so my head didn't hit the ceiling. Taking charge, Alex grabbed the keys and knew better than to ask more questions. I sighed in relief as we exited the parking lot and started driving.

My first orgasm had departed and left me in a state of calm. Lust's grip on me was only starting to mount, so I wanted to resolve our discussion before my mind turned completely to mush. I rested a large hand on his shoulder and found his eyes in the rear view.

"Alex, I appreciate what you've told me. Saying such sweet things only makes me love you more. I won't be denied in the name of my own protection. I'm a big girl, and if you want to be with me like I do with you, then that's all there is to say about it."

"But-"

"I'm not done" I said, cutting off his protest. "I understand that you may have needs. Right now I can understand completely what that's like.

As long as you're always honest with me,"

"You know I-"

"-and hold only me in your heart...then I think -- no, I know -- I can live with that too."

Quickly, he turned, taking us into a neighborhood and parking the car. He turned and stared into my eyes for a moment. I desperately hoped he found what he searched for. Through an effort of will, I reach into my soul and painted the truth of my words on the fabric of my gaze.

Evidently satisfied, he drew my head to his and kissed me long and deep on the mouth. In that moment, though euphoria raged in my body, it was a single tongue of flame next to the blazing star of joy in my heart.

************

"Are you sure?!" I was shocked; how could this happen? I thought the disease was sexually transmitted. No way would Mom have ever cheated on Dad. I would never believe that.

As we ate dinner, my parents had just broken the news to me that my mother is infected. Dad reached for Mom's hand at the dinner table. She returned it with a warm smile of appreciation.

"Yes. The lab called this afternoon and confirmed the diagnosis." Mom said, looking like she had just been told she has terminal cancer. My heart went out to her.