Parallel True Love

Francis took the blame. Francis was cool like that. He just spoke up, said it was all his fault, told the headmaster that I hadn't been any where near him when it had happened. Everyone liked Francis, the headmaster would let him off with some time-consuming but pretty trivial punishment; the new pupil, the new English pupil. Francis would have to practice his English more and have this kid trail around after him for months. It would be annoying but it wasn't horrible. I thanked him, Francis was a true friend. It wasn't until I saw the new pupil that I was suddenly jealous. Silas, the new boy, was beautiful. If I'd taken the blame I could have had him and I wanted him so badly and ever minute of every day he was with Francis. Francis kept him busy, choosing his clothes and carrying his books. Silas would wander around looking dazed and tired all the time and Francis would boast about the sex they had, telling me how Silas was a total sex hound who would jump him every time they were alone. I wanted the boy.

Francis and I were like brothers. We came from the same region of the country and everyone noticed our accents. We both had dark hair, were both tall, although Francis was slightly taller than me. He had dark brown eyes, much darker than mine. His mum had died when he was young, he'd been moving around from boarding school to boarding school, expelled from most of them until he finally got sent to this school. This was a school for the boys no one else could deal with, the gay ones, the ones with pregnant girlfriends, the ones on drugs, the bullies. His father travelled a lot, sending Francis large sums of money each month but never any letters. Everyone knew Francis, everyone loved him and felt the desire to be around him but some how he took energy from people, stole it whereas most extroverts reflected it. You gave to him but there was nothing in return. I wondered if sex with him was the same. Francis was the only person at that school who knew I was gay. He'd said it was cool and then kissed me. He smiled, asked if I wanted to have sex with him 'cause he'd always wanted to try it.

"We won't date." He'd said. "We wouldn't work as boyfriends."

He'd sucked me off once but then Silas had turned up and Francis decided to experiment with him instead. Obviously, he enjoyed his experiments and he kept Silas by his side all the time. And Silas was tired all the time. When I went to hang out with them in Francis' room, Silas would always be sitting on the floor. Francis had a desk but Silas never seemed to use it. Silas could have just done his work in his room, he never joined in our conversations, just sat on the floor, working, occasionally watching us, blushing when Francis noticed and commented on it.

"Why don't you use the desk?" I'd asked him once when I'd gone to Francis' room and found Silas alone, working on the floor.

He'd looked down at the floor before answering. He shrugged slightly.

"Its easier to work on the floor."

He had a beautiful accent. He spoke Spanish slower than native speakers, sometimes emphasising vowel-sounds that most people just skipped over. He didn't speak often though, Silas was so innocent, hardly ever talking to anyone, just following Francis around. Everyone followed Francis but Silas did it as if there was no-one else in the world, as if he was programmed only to listen to Francis. If he was a total sex hound he hid it well.

When we went to university Francis told me he had HIV. He'd had it since before he started fucking Silas. He had HIV and was fucking the most beautiful boy in the world. I'd punched him, swore at him and called him every name I could think of. Then I dropped out of university, left Spain and went to travel the world, to reconsider life. That bastard had polluted such an innocent and I couldn't stay around him. He still went back to the school, to fuck Silas, he didn't even seem guilty about it. He was phoning me for days after I left, telling me that it was ok, that Silas was cool. Of course Silas was cool, Silas hardly spoke, he wouldn't be able to stand up to a persuasive argument from Francis. Francis shouldn't have put the poor kid in that situation.

Then I got a letter, about ten years after we'd first been to school together, from Francis' lawyer. Francis had died and left me something in his will and his lawyer had been trying to tracking me down. I went to see the lawyer, got a letter from beyond the grave and then went round to an apartment block in one of the more expensive areas of the town. There was a doorman who told me that if I was with Josh then Silas didn't want to see me. He called up to Silas' apartment with my name.

"Philip from school?" The doorman asked.

I nodded surprised that Silas remembered me so quickly. The doorman let me go up.

The door of the apartment was open, Silas was on the floor, surrounded by papers. He smiled up at me.

"I'm glad the lawyer managed to get hold of you. I thought you'd come and see me, once you read the letter. Francis told me about the argument you guys had and how much he regretted it."

"I think that's the most I've ever heard you say. Glad to see you're still enjoying sitting on the floor." I went in and shut the door.

He grinned again and stood up.

"Do you want a drink?"

I followed him in the kitchen.

"So he never slept with you? Ten years and you guys never fucked?"

"How much did the letter tell you?" He asked, suddenly looking fearful.

I patted his arm.

"I'm not gonna judge you. If you like to be tied up and spanked then its up to you but he said that he didn't think that you did. Whats going on with this Josh fellow then?"

He turned away from me before he started talking, that was just like he'd been at school, couldn't stand people looking at him when he spoke. That's why most of the time, he didn't talk. People looked at him because he was beautiful, because he was with Francis, because he didn't talk.

"Francis' home help when he came off the medication. Francis told him to look after me the day before he died, look after me both sexually and helping with the funeral arrangements. I didn't mind it for a while, I think I needed someone to help me out for a while but then he got violent and possessive and I didn't love him, I didn't want him here. I kicked him out and he's been trying to get back for a while but I think he's gone now."

"You kicked someone out?" I laughed.

He put his hand on his hip and watched me until I stopped.

"I'm not a total pushover you know. Francis never forced me to do anything I didn't want to do."

"Why did you always sit on the floor?"

He ignored me.

"I left him once you know. For two months. When I came back he promised never to push me to do anything I didn't want to do again and he didn't. Where have you been all these years?"

"Everywhere. Are you a virgin then?"

He shook his head.

"Where are you staying?"

"You have a spare room don't you?"

He shook his head again, turning away from me.

"Its a two-roomer. Do you have a room mate, a new boyfriend?"

"I don't use Francis' room." He said quietly and then started crying.

"Idiot." I cuffed him lightly around his head, like I normally treated my little brother. Silas just looked startled, he obviously didn't have brothers. "Come on, I'll help you sort out his junk and then you can have the room. I'm guessing he left this place to you?"

****

It didn't take too long to tidy out Francis' room, apparently this Josh guy had done quite a lot of the clearing but was keeping Silas sleeping in his room so he could fuck him. Silas had a degree in biochemistry and was using it down at the local hospital testing samples. He said he was enjoying it, he didn't have any plans to move back to England. His parents hadn't approved of his relationship with Francis and they only really spoke to each other at special holidays. It took about two hours to clear the room and that was all the information I had managed to get out of him. Everytime I asked a question, I recieved an answer I was happy with and a question of my own to answer and then I realised that he hadn't actually answered my question. He was smart like that.

"I'll help you move your stuff in here."

"No." He blushed as he stood up, then covered by looking at the clock. "It's getting late, how about you get yourself something to eat? I can do my room."

"It's no problem, Silas, it'll take minutes right? I'll stick some pasta on."

I left the room for maybe ten minutes, when I returned he'd already packed up one suitcase. All his clothes and books were still in the room so I didn't know what he'd managed to pack into a suitcase. I picked it up, he turned to me.

"I can do it, I can take that in, you don't have to help me." He said, frowning.

I ruffled his hair, he was getting frustrated with me but I couldn't understand why, maybe he didn't want me to stay with him. I'd just assumed that he'd be happy to let me stay with him for a while. I asked him. He shrugged.

"You can stay if you want but I don't need your help."

"Everyone needs some help sometimes."

"I'm capable of doing my own thing. I really don't need any help. I'm sick of people trying to control me."

"I'm not trying to, I'm just trying to help. Josh and Francis really messed you up didn't they?"

"Yes."

His one word answer shocked me. I don't think he'd ever been so honest with me.

"Why did you let them then?"

"I didn't let Josh, I kicked him out remember? And I walked out on Francis."

"And then you came back. If you hated it so much why did you come back to him? What hold did he have over you?"

Silas frowned and took the suitcase from me, I followed him as he took the case into the other room. He dropped the suitcase and attempted to move past me, I grabbed his arms and wrestled him to the bed as he struggled against me.

"For fucks' sake, Silas! What did Francis do to you?"

"Francis was the only person who ever listened to me. He was the only one who ever heard what I actually said, he knew what I meant and he made other people take notice of me."

"I noticed you." I said leaning in close to him. He shivered then shook his head.

"Let me up, please."

He sat up and moved away from me as soon as I let go of him.

"You only noticed me because Francis had me. If I'd just turned up I would have wandered around unnoticed for the whole three years I was at that school and the three years I was at university."

"That's not true, you're beautiful, everyone notices you."

"No one listens to me though. Only Francis listened to me. And I don't want anyone trying to take over my life any more, Francis could because he knew me and I trusted him but I don't trust any one else."

"And how long will I have to tie you down and spank you before you trust me?"

"Bastard." He left the room, I heard him lock himself in the bathroom.

He had real issues with trust, poor kid. He just needed a little bit of time to get to know me. I picked up his suitcase and opened it, prepared to unpack it for him. It was full of sex toys, from dildos and butt plugs to whips and handcuffs. I smiled and grabbed a whip.

"Hey Silas," I shouted from outside the bathroom door. "Where do you want me to put your whip?"

Maybe I was pushing him too hard, annoying him and antaganising him just for the fun of it but sometimes you have to get someone angry to get anything useful out of them. Silas had been kept silent too long, had lived in Francis' shadow for too long. I could make him angry enough to take control. If he wanted to get rid of me, he'd have to do more than wait until I left, change the locks and tell the doorman to keep me out like he'd done with Josh. He'd have to really want me gone. He was too scared, made scared by Francis' control but he didn't have to be, he must have learnt plenty of control techniques from Francis.

Silas opened the bathroom door and held out his hand until I handed him the whip.

"This is Francis' whip. You don't touch Francis' stuff." He whispered to me.

"Francis' stuff was in his room. Your stuff was in the spare room. This is your stuff."

"Josh was using it. You're not going to use it. I'm not going to do this anymore."

"You think I've come here to fuck you don't you?"

"You have. Francis told you to come and look after me and his understanding of looking after me is fucking me but I'm not going to have him choose my lovers, I'm not going to have him control me."

"He didn't tell me to come here. And I don't take orders from dead men. I came here because I've always fancied you and now Francis has gone maybe I'll have a chance with you."

His eyes dimmed.

"So you do want to fuck me?"

"Yeah but not because Francis told me to and not just for the sake of fucking. I'm not just gonna force myself onto you and take control of you." I left him where he was and went to sort out my food. I left some for him even though he hadn't asked me to. Silas was still moving his things into the other room. I watched him and he ignored me.

After a while it seemed he'd finished his moving, he grabbed the extra plate of food I'd left for him, handed me the plate and then knelt down next to me.

"What are you doing?"

"You're going to feed me, then I'm going to suck you off."

"Why?"

"That's what I want. And you want to fuck me."

"So I feed you, you suck me and I fuck you?"

"Not tonight. I suck you, we'll sleep in the same bed but you won't fuck me."

"Is this how it worked with Francis?"

"No, he told me what to do and I argued against it but I'm never going to find someone who knows what I want like Francis did so I'm going to have to train you. You up for that?"

I grinned as I picked up the fork and began to feed him. Being trained by Silas seemed like the best offer I'd had in a long time.