Paranoia

This time they were sitting side by side and Frank was soon caressing her knee under the table. Lisa flinched as her phone beeped. She couldn't not read the text.

'Will your Jason and Julie forgive you if your marriage breaks down over this?'

Lisa stood up shocked, Frank's hand falling from her leg. Once again she desperately looked around the room. No one was paying her the slightest attention. She looked at the text again and noticed that it displayed a number this time rather than, 'unknown number'. With beating heart she hit the buttons.

It answered after three rings with a female voice and an obvious New York accent, "Joe's Pizza Parlour, East 24^th Street, how can I help you?"

Already in an agitated state, this completely threw Lisa.

"Who is this and why are you texting me?"

"Listen lady, you rang me. Now do you want to order a pizza or not, we close in half and hour?"

Totally confused, Lisa rang off looking at every other dining table. No one had a phone out, no one was looking her way, in fact, and no one was paying her the slightest attention. Confused, Frank grabbed her phone, pulled up the text messages and looked at the latest one. His face fell and he joined Lisa in looking around the room. This time there were no windows and no view from the outside.

Lisa rang Dave's office number. When the receptionist answered, Lisa asked where her husband was and was told he was in the workshop. Lisa asked the girl to check. She told her she'd got a sudden premonition that something had happened to him. Five minutes later the receptionist said that Dave was alive and well and buried inside an electrical switch box. Lisa rang off, lunch forgotten.

"Just take me back to my car Frank."

"Sure thing Lisa."

They hurried out to the carpark and sped away. On the way back to town they brainstormed who was spying on them and how they were doing it. They favoured direct observation. They'd discussed having lunch via phone and email during the week but hadn't decided where until this morning. It couldn't be Frank's wife, otherwise he would have got the texts. They were baffled until Frank decided her handbag could be bugged. Lisa frantically emptied everything and checked inside every item. Nothing.

When they got back to her car, Frank tried for a kiss but Lisa just threw open the door, got in her own car and screeched off.

She drove straight home and decided to spend the afternoon doing some research on the internet. She turned the computer on then decided to check its history. The last time the computer connected to the internet was Wednesday morning. That would have been the last time she sent an email to Frank so no one was checking on her from this machine.

She decided to type in 'spying on wife'. She'd just typed in sp when one of the suggestions, prompted by earlier searches, caught her eye. She deleted the p and read the suggestions. Top of the list, 'signs of a cheating spouse'. Fuck, it WAS Dave. He had found out and was spying on her. Almost on autopilot she clicked on the link. Highlighted in purple were three websites that'd been visited. With growing dread she visited all three.

Within an hour she'd written a list that Dave must have already deduced himself.

Dress/behaviour changes, sudden disrespect, refusing sex, hickies, make up awry/fresh, wet hair, smell of soap, credit card bill/phone bill, phone tap, talking about another person often then stopping, guilty conscience, changed sexual behaviour.

She pondered this list. The sudden disrespect, hickies, make up, wet hair and credit card references were obviously not factors. She did realise that she'd been dressing more carefully on Fridays recently. She'd never mentioned Frank to Dave. Had she behaved differently to Dave on Frank days? She was sure she hadn't.

Unbeknownst to Lisa, she'd glossed over the most critical item on the list. Her consciousness refused to recognise her recent behaviour as extreme disrespect to Dave. Those who lose respect for themselves, rarely respect others.

In Lisa's mind that left refusing sex, changed sexual behaviour, phone and internet records. She checked an old phone bill, it wasn't itemised to numbers. So it wasn't that. She and Dave both used different password protected email accounts on the computer. Lisa's password wasn't written anywhere and wasn't guessable.

The references to a changed sex life was ringing alarms but that made no sense. The sudden drop in sex happened about eight weeks ago. Her new relationship with Frank hadn't begun that long ago, had it?

A terrible possibility occurred to her. Had Dave become suspicious after their sex life plummeted and started spying on her and accidentally stumbled on Frank? That made sense. She pulled out her phone and looked at the three anonymous texts again. 'What would your husband think of you holding hands with another man like that?' 'Will your Jason and Julie forgive you if your marriage breaks down over this?' The second one could have been worded by Dave but the first one was just the wrong language. Was Dave smart enough to deliberately confuse things with wording? Yes, Lisa thought, Dave was smart but never cunning or deceptive. The first text did sound like her mum though. Two different source phone numbers, two different people? Two coincidences?

Still confused Lisa went back to her original search idea and compiled another list. Some of this list must be how she was being spied on.

Phone tap (house phone), hidden transmitter on cell phone, GPS and/or microphone in car, emails read, followed, private investigator, hidden cameras, surveillance of bank statements/credit card bills, key logger on computer.

Strangely all this activity excited Lisa. She didn't wonder why. If she had, she may have concluded that one of her motivations for Frank was plain boredom.

With her list complete she sent a quick email to Frank telling him of her findings and informing him that she was almost certain Dave was spying on her. She attached both her lists. They would definitely have to cool it for a while. She couldn't risk losing her husband. She loved him too much. After hitting send she deleted it from the sent items box then the deleted items as she normally did. Then she changed her password for good measure.

She was just closing the computer down when the twins came home followed within minutes by Dave. She panicked when she realised she'd done nothing about dinner. That is maybe why she didn't greet Dave the way she normally did. She just asked him to go out and get takeaways. She missed Dave's resentful stare at the back of her head as she turned away.

Driven by anger and guilt she avoided Dave for the rest of the evening. Anger because for two weeks she'd been waiting for Dave to apologise to her over the latest country club argument. If he just apologised then they could re-start their love life. Anger also that he was spying on her. And guilt, well she didn't know what that was all about. So, he maybe knew she'd had lunch and coffee with another guy and maybe been told she was holding hands with him once. Did he think he owned her or something? Still, she knew she couldn't afford to look him in the eye.

The kids chatted with their mother and father throughout the meal. Dave was speaking.

"So, how's the job going Jason?"

"Great Dad, we're doing some painting up at the country club this week."

Lisa felt cold icicles moving up and down her spine. She tried to catch Jason's eye to see if they gave away anything. But all night he behaved absolutely normally around her.

Lisa was lost in her own thoughts all evening. Was it Dave or was it Jason. If the latter, had Jason told his father. The only one acting weird was Dave. She tried to initiate sex that night but Dave was already asleep when she got to bed and didn't respond when she tried to drag him on top of her.

The next day Lisa woke late to a quiet house. There was a note on the kitchen table that simply said, "Overtime." She smiled. It looked like that country club membership was in the bag.

With the house to herself she went back to her lists. She started by looking at the two house phones and found on each a black device separating the phone from the wall plug. She removed them both and looked at them. Written on the sides were written 'Blitzengard'. She was wild. What right did her husband have to bug her phone calls? At the same time she desperately thought back and tried to remember if she'd said anything compromising.

After she calmed down she pulled her cell phone apart. She'd no idea what a transmitter looked like but everything but the battery and SIM card seemed to be nailed in. She then virtually pulled her Lexus apart looking for a microphone or GPS tracker. Again she'd no idea what they looked like but thought she would know when she found them.

Next she hit the computer. After checking she was the last person to access the internet, Lisa downloaded and ran an application that looked for evidence of a key logger program. Nothing. Following that she got the last six months of bank and credit card statements out, looking for large, unaccounted for payments. Again nothing. Next she searched all the commonly used rooms for hidden cameras. Either they were really well hidden or there were none. So, just the phone taps then.

She spent the rest of the afternoon buying two new throwaway phones. One for herself, one for Frank. Fifteen minutes later, the text and call history was deleted from her old phone. Just before Dave got home she sent a quick email to Frank telling what she'd done and what she'd found. Then she settled down to wait for Dave.

Once he entered the kitchen she slammed the two telephone bugs on the table and said, "What's this shit?"

Dave picked up one of the black devices and read the side.

"We bought these a couple of years ago, remember. After that news story about a woman that was deafened when lightning hit the phone line while she was on a call. These things stop that. See, Blitzen is the German word for lightning. What did you think they were, did you think I was checking up on you or the kids? Why would I do that?"

He came around the table and tried to hug Lisa.

"Look Liss, what's wrong with us. Can't you see we need help? Can we please go to counselling?"

Embarrassed, Lisa pulled out of his arms and ran to her room. Dave slept in the spare again.

That week Lisa's blood pressure had risen another 15 points despite the medication.

That pretty much set the tone for the next 10 days. Dave stayed out later at night, coming back either just in time for dinner or missing it. They were both stubborn and waiting for the other to apologise. Lisa missed charity Friday the next week, it was Linda's birthday. Relations were just starting to thaw a fortnight later. Dave reluctantly moved back into the master bedroom but there was no loving.

Then like a moth to flames, Lisa decided to return to Frank. She was still not certain who, if anyone, was tracking her. She certainly didn't know how they were doing it.

Frank knew to behave himself in the charity sorting room, especially when Lisa's sister Sharon was there like she was today. He did however manage to whisper in her ear, "I've missed you." Then at one of breaks they made eye contact. He subtly moved his head to indicate the storeroom at the back and sidled towards it. After checking Sharon was nowhere in sight, Lisa followed and slipped inside.

As soon as the door closed she was in his arms and they kissed like there was no tomorrow. It was a good as she'd imagined it would be. It must have gone on for at least four minutes when she felt the vibration of an incoming text from her pocket. With dread she uncoupled and pulled out the phone.

'Did your parents raise you to carry on like this?'

Stunned momentarily, Lisa recovered quickly and tapped in Dave's cell number. It was answered after four rings. She said, "Hi honey, what are you up to?"

"Oh just on my lunch break. How are you?"

"Oh, you know, just slaving at the factory. What would you like for dinner?"

"Well I'd love to try that new Mexican place after Julie's thing. What do you reckon?"

"Sounds great sweetie, you've got a date. See ya later."

She rang off really confused now. Either Dave was the best actor in the world or it wasn't him.

She rang Jason's mobile. He was having lunch with his Grandma, Lisa's mother.

"What are you doing at Grandma's Jason?"

"Well, the guys at work were telling me about POETS day. You know, Piss Off Early Tomorrows Saturday."

Jason chuckled at his own joke. Lisa didn't get it.

"Are both Grandma and Grandpa there?"

"Yes mum and Julie as well. She said to remind you about the play tonight."

"What play?"

"You know, the one she's in. They've been rehearsing it for weeks. Mum, what's going on? I know you've been distracted lately but we talked about this last night?"

"Oh yeah, that's right, the play."

Lisa desperately wracked her brain for memories. She remembered Julie had been rehearsing but had absolutely no memory of it being mentioned last night. She hastily rang off. So it wasn't her parents, husband or children stalking her. Who the hell was it?

The only name that came to her rattled mind was Sharon. That made sense. Her whereabouts were unknown during the first two texts but she was certainly around today. Lisa opened the door a crack and scanned the main floor for her sister. She was nowhere in sight. She strode out the door to find Sharon for the confrontation. Just as she got out the door Frank grabbed her arm and tried to pull her back. He was even more confused than she was. Lisa looked around again, right into the eyes of Sharon striding towards her. Sharon's face looked like thunder as she looked at her little sister. Arms locked with a man, lipstick smeared and hair awry. Well it didn't take Einstein to get the answer to this 2 + 2.

"What the fuck is going on Lisa?"

She grabbed Lisa and dragged her away from the bewildered Frank. Right out the door and across the road to a coffee shop.

"Right Lisa, spill the beans. Are you having an affair with that creep?"

"Yes...no...sort of" sobbed Lisa. We were just kissing...we've met a couple of times...we're just friends."

"Bullshit Lisa, friends don't kiss each other hard enough to smear their lipstick. Friends don't go into the stock room and hold hands. Please tell me why you're doing this to Dave."

She waited while Lisa stopped sobbing and slowly regained some of her composure.

"Why Lisa?"

Lisa groped at the first excuse that came to mind.

"After getting my boob job I just started feeling so sexy. Frank came on to me, said all the right things and I just let it get out of hand. Honestly nothing has happened except two meetings for lunch and a bit of kissing and groping today."

She then went on to unload to Sharon about the texts and her resulting confusion. When she finished, it was Sharon's turn.

"Tell me Lisa, how much did that boob job cost?"

"A little over 20K."

"And Dave paid for it right?"

"Yes. I suppose so."

"And you repay him by cheating on him."

Lisa reacted violently to that.

"I did not cheat on Dave!"

"Lunch with another guy, kissing and groping. Sure sounds like cheating to me."

Both sisters considered their next move. Sharon was quicker.

"So I presume that if your new boobs are making you feel sexy then Dave has been getting pounded into the mattress on a regular basis?"

Lisa was at a total loss for words. Eventually she whispered.

"No, Dave and I haven't made love since my operation."

Sharon's face went completely white and now it was her turn to be lost for words. Eventually she spat.

"Lisa, you bloody fool. You know my ex-husband caught me cheating and divorced my ass. Well, after it was all over I realised that from the time he suspected me till the time he caught me he didn't have sex with me once. It's what men do. Listen Lisa unless you do something, and damned fast, you'll end up like me. It's no bed of roses I can tell you. Sure I got the house but it's awfully lonely and I can tell you for nothing, I'll never be able to afford a boob job. Stop this crap now. Stop before it goes too far and you're caught. Go home and screw Dave's arse off. Shove his cock so far down your throat that he gets stomach acid burns on his little head."

"Don't be vulgar Sharon, you know I don't do that disgusting thing... You won't tell Dave about today will you?"

"You can be assured I won't Lisa. But only if you promise to stop this madness."

"OK Sharon, I will."

As if she wasn't having a bad enough day, when she got back to her car it had a flat. She would normally call Dave to fix it but this time she called the auto club and within half an hour the breakdown technician arrived. As he was putting the flat back in the wheel well, the tech reached in and pulled out a small box. "What's this?"

Lisa now knows what a GPS tracker looks like.

She drove home in a daze. Everyone was there already, getting changed for the play. She had no time to think.

Lisa drifted in and out of awareness throughout the play. She was barley aware when Julie strode on stage for her role. She snapped out of her reverie when Julie spoke her first lines, in a passing impersonation of a New York accent. Lisa's blood ran cold. All she could hear in her head was "Joe's Pizza Parlour."

She fumed throughout the rest of the play. When it was over and the actors retreated to the dressing rooms, Lisa stormed back stage. She found Julie with a bunch of her friends, grabbed her arm and dragged her into a corridor. Nose to nose she almost screamed in Julie's face.

"What do you know about me and Frank?"

"Mum you're scaring me."

Lisa stared into her daughter's frightened eyes then turned tail and strode down the corridor towards the exit. Before she reached the door, she threw over her shoulder.

"Stay out of my bloody business."

Julie shouting down the length of the corridor yelled, "Mum, did you like the play?" But her mother was gone.

Dave took the kids and his in-laws out to the restaurant. It took most of the evening to bring Julie back to normal. Julie didn't mention her mother's question so no one had a clue what triggered her quiet mood.

When they got home Lisa was already there, locked in the master bedroom and refusing to open the door or acknowledge their words. Dave slept in the spare bedroom again. Lisa's disappearance after the play just one more mystery.

In the morning, Dave again tried to talk Lisa into coming out and helping her distraught daughter. When she still hadn't emerged after Jason and Julie left for the day, Dave went out as well. Why the fuck not, he thought.

Lisa thought of her conversation with Sharon and the GPS tracker in her car.

For the next few weeks, Lisa was a good wife in public. While Frank was still going to the charity warehouse, Lisa made sure there was never anything but polite interaction and definitely no coffee afterwards. She knew her sister well enough to know that it would be a big mistake letting her see anything inappropriate. By email and throwaway phone when the house was empty however, it was a different story.

After a month, everything was practically back to normal, apart from their sex life, when Dave announced he was to travel out of town for two days and one night the following week for a training course. This was unusual enough to cause Lisa to be suspicious. That was the subject of multiple emails to Frank. Was it a trap or not? There was never a question raised by either of them on whether they were going to take advantage of Dave's absence or not. It was just a matter of how. Together they hatched a quite elaborate plan.