Paranoia

"But I've never done anything for Dave."

"And yet after 20 years he is still buying you cards and chocolates. I'll give him one thing, he's a lot more patient than I am."

For some reason this point finally got through to Lisa. After some pause she said.

"I've been a stupid, selfish bitch haven't I?" Her calm tone belied the fact that she was skating on the very thin ice of her sanity.

To their credit, none of the five members of the jury showed any indication that they agreed with her.

"Please tell me you haven't told Dave anything that you know...please."

Lisa's mother looked around for any signs that she was about to tell an untruth. Four blank looks.

"No Lisa, as far as we know he is totally clueless."

"So that training trip he did wasn't to try to catch me out. Then why has he been refusing to make love to me in the last two months or so. And why was he checking 'signs of a cheating spouse' on the internet?"

Sharon broke the ensuing silence.

"Oh my god, I have just thought of the other reason why men stop sleeping with their wives. It also explains the GPS tracker in the wheel well and the internet search."

Everyone stared at Sharon, awaiting an explanation, although one or two of them suspected they knew the answer.

"If he was thinking of leaving the marriage and had already met Lisa's replacement he wouldn't want to sleep with her. It would feel like cheating to him. He might put a tracker in her car to see if she was following him. He might have looked at signs of a cheating spouse on the internet to cover his tracks."

Everyone, including Lisa could see the inevitable truth of all this. Her father broke the next silence.

"Thank god you haven't gone too far with this shit Lisa. If you'd already slept with this guy then what small chance we have of saving your marriage would be history. Not to mention losing the respect of all of us."

The benign rift in Lisa's mind, loosened by Sharon's last words, now ripped asunder. She leap to her feet but her eyes stayed glued to the floor at her feet. The fracture became a chasm.

"I DID!"

"It was before you all caught me at the fucking coffee shop. Frank took me into the stockroom at the warehouse one day when Sharon wasn't there. He forced me to my knees then pushed his cock in my mouth. After he'd come he bent me over a filing cabinet and fucked me. It was lousy sex and I wish I hadn't done it but I did. It made me feel excited and alive. There are you happy now?"

Despite the obvious distress Lisa was in, all five members of the audience slowly stood, shook their heads at her then filed out the door leaving what was left of Lisa to slump to the floor.

After two minutes of silence Dave stepped out of the shadows near the back door.

"Well that explains a lot. To think all these months I've felt bad about stepping out on you when all the time you've been screwing around on me."

He took Lisa's continued silence as a prompt to keep explaining.

"Before you ask Lisa, yes it is too late for us. Your disrespect, constant demands, total selfishness and rationing of your love and sex just pushed me over the edge. I met Sarah the week before you forgot my birthday. She's beautiful on the outside and on the inside and doesn't give a shit that I'm an electrician. She doesn't demand I do what she wants, when she wants it and doesn't withhold her love when I don't do something. We haven't slept together yet, I would never do that to you Lisa."

"I haven't been doing any overtime Lisa, I've been around her place. That's when I've been seeing her. Then and the fake training trip I did. She's a bit younger than me but we're both comfortable with that. "

"That's where I was this afternoon actually. We went to have lunch with her father and sister. Her sister's husband was supposed to be there as well but he was hospitalised last night, someone beat him up pretty good apparently."

"Oh and lastly Lisa, please don't destroy the last shred of respect I have for you by threatening to take my house, retirement and kids off me in the divorce. I don't give a shit. Sarah is rich, very rich and I'm sure our kids will chose wisely when it comes time for them to decide who to live with. I reckon they voted with their feet tonight, don't you?"

This was a fine speech by Dave but one totally wasted on Lisa. The darkness had slowly engulfed her eyes. She didn't even register Dave's next words.

"Ambulance please."

"Yes send one quickly please. I think my wife is having a heart atta..."

The end

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Don't try and understand Lisa's motivation. No one understands a truly disturbed mind. I will leave it up to you to decide when she went over the edge. What I will say is that on the other side of insanity is a state of serene calm that looks like sanity to the sufferer. Decisions made while in that state seem perfectly rational to the sufferer, totally insane to everyone else. Take it from one that has been there.

Most of you probably don't believe a woman would act so irrationally and obsessively with single minded focus then justify it to herself with unbelievable self-delusion. Fair enough. I married one. Yes, I am Dave.

Yes I know the character of Dave is totally undeveloped. It was deliberate.

To a subset of annonys. Please keep the death threats coming. To butcher an Oscar Wilde quote, the only thing worse than getting death threats is not getting death threats.

Now I have a serious question aimed at any ladies reading this. It is genuine and I would love an answer via comment or my profile. If I get enough positive answers it may be the basis of another story. In most cheating wife stories the wife's motivation is either missing or unconvincing. I reckon that is because they are written by men and try as we may, we'll never understand what makes you tick. It's complicated so I will ask it as best I can. Q: Could a motivation for a continued affair with a lover be a bad first experience with that lover. Imagine a woman's first extramarital sexual experience where the sex is unsatisfying. She is feeling guilty. Would she keep going in the hopes that next time it was better? Would her guilt be less if the sex was good. i.e. I've risked my marriage for good sex rather than bad sex? So the affair continues while she hopes for good sex. To justify her cheating. Like I said, it is a serious question and I would love serious answers.

Psychotics build castles in the sky.

Neurotics live in them.

Psychologists collect the rent.

The author.