Part of the Family

Diane looked disapprovingly at him.

'I'll make it up to him later,' Frank placated with a dismissive wave.

'What happened to her?' Kerry asked Diane.

For a second she thought Diane was not going to answer her. There was a reluctance in Diane's eyes to dwell on this subject, as though by asking, Kerry was reopening some old family wounds. After a few seconds, she relented.

'It was about two years ago, Samantha had problems Johnny wasn't aware of, drugs issues. I don't know what type, Johnny didn't give us those details, but anyway, not long after their engagement, she had a complete breakdown, tried to kill herself. She ended up in a clinic, I think.'

'My God, that's terrible.' Kerry said, shocked at the revelation. 'Is she alright? I mean, she's not still there is she?'

Diane shrugged, as though it didn't really matter. 'I wouldn't know. That subject's off limits to Johnny. But listen, this is a depressing conversation. Let's talk about you. Tell me about those gorgeous earrings. Did Johnny give you those?'

Kerry found herself immersed in conversation about jewellery, clothes fashion and make-up, with Diane who had similar tastes. From that, onto celebrity gossip until Frank gave Kerry a tap on the shoulder to get her attention. He nodded towards the head of the table, to find Johnny's father leaning forward, his penetrating eyes fixed on her.

'I was just saying, Kerry, of how proud your parents must be on your engagement.'

'My mother's delighted, of course. She cried when she heard, but I expect most mothers do. She loved the ring.' Kerry held up her left hand.

Johnny's father gave his wife an affectionate look, and had a half smile on his lips. His eyes, like Johnny's, were a piercing blue. 'And your father, Kerry, he must be very proud.'

'My father doesn't know about the engagement. I haven't seen him in some time,' Kerry replied, awkwardly, trying to ward off an instant sense of embarrassment.

'Some time?' Johnny's father frowned. Kerry sensed his disapproval.

'He left my mother and me when I was ten,' she explained, glad that most others were too engrossed in their own conversations to hear the exchange. She hated it to have to come out this way. Johnny should have told them.

Johnny's father straightened in his chair, the disapproving frown still on his face. For a few seconds he said nothing and Kerry felt herself blushing under his critical gaze. 'I'm sorry to hear that. Family is important. Family is more important than anything. It is what binds us together.'

Kerry didn't know what to say, and just smiled awkwardly.

Diane came to her rescue. 'Kerry will soon have a much bigger family, and a new father with it,' she smiled at her father-in-law, who gave a nod and smiled kindly at Kerry, the coldness suddenly gone.

'Quite so, quite so. And I'm proud to have you as a daughter-in-law, Kerry, you'll be just fine.'

Kerry glanced at Johnny, who catching the tail end of the exchange frowned at her. She in return gave him daggers for not having come to her rescue. He cocked his head in puzzlement and gave a shrug.

'Here, have a top up,' Diane said, and before Kerry could refuse, refilled her wine glass.

Kerry paced herself, consciously slowing down her consumption of alcohol. By the time dessert came round, she was pleased she was managing to stay relatively sober. Her nervousness had dissipated, and she was beginning to enjoy herself.

After dinner she was ushered into the living room, where most of the men, and the few women not cleaning up in the kitchen, continued the drink and conversation. Kerry made an effort to mingle with other members of the family, other than Diane and Uncle Frank, and found she was beginning to enjoy being the curiosity in the room. Johnny kept nearby and she was pleased he was giving her attention among his relatives. His father entered the room and joined them.

'Did you have enough to eat, Kerry?' he asked, warmly.

'I did, thank you. The meal was wonderful,' Kerry replied.

Johnny's father smiled, 'I expect you're quite worn out meeting all the family like this.'

'No, not at all, every one's been so kind. And I think your house is wonderful by the way.'

'You're most kind, Kerry. I built it myself. Well, with some help from some friends in the building trade.'

Kerry was genuinely impressed. Then she remembered something, from when she and Johnny arrived. 'Oh, you probably think me stupid, but those words above the back door, what do they mean?'

Johnny's father smiled at the question. 'Carpe noctem,' he said.

'Yes, that's it.'

'It's Latin. Perhaps you've heard the more well known phrase; carpe diem?'

Kerry had, but it took a few seconds to recall the familiar words. It was mentioned in that Robin William's film about poets. 'Seize the day?' she ventured hesitantly.

'That's right,' Johnny's father beamed. 'Well, carpe noctem is its counterpoint. It means; seize the night. Night time is when we bond, whether as family or friends or lovers. It is when we become close and in doing so allows us to shut out our fears of the dark.'

Kerry was not sure what to say to this, so she simply nodded politely, noting that through the window behind, it was now completely dark. Evening had fallen fast.

Johnny's father turned his attention on his son, clapping him on the shoulder, 'Well, Johnny, the girls won't be long finishing up in the kitchen. I think it's nearly time, don't you?'

'Yes, of course, dad. People will start to get tired. We'll turn in now.'

Bemused by this odd exchange and a little surprised they should be going to bed so soon, Kerry frowned then looked around for Diane, to thank her for her kindness and say goodnight. But Diane was nowhere to be seen.

'Would you like a little time to explain to Kerry?' Johnny's father was saying, as though Kerry wasn't even there.

'Yes, I think so, Dad,'

He smiled at them both, one hand still on Johnny's shoulder. 'Take all the time you need, but not all night, eh?'

Johnny smiled back, and gave Kerry's arm a squeeze. 'Of course.'

When his father had left them, Kerry looked quizzically at her fiancé. 'What the hell was that about?'

Johnny took her hands in his. 'We need to talk, before bed, c'mon.' He led her out into the hallway.

'I haven't said goodnight to anyone yet,' she protested, reluctant to follow.

Johnny put an arm around her waist and she let him take her up the stairs. 'You don't need to say goodnight, trust me.'

'But it's not polite . . .'

'Don't worry about that, they understand.'

'Johnny? What's going on?' she asked firmly.

'Upstairs,' he answered.

She stared at him. Feeling frustrated now, but decided it would be better to let Johnny explain it – whatever it was – in his own way.

He took her up to the bathroom, and Kerry found their overnight bag was there. There were other bags there, Kerry assumed belonged to other family members staying over.

'I've told you something about my family, about our regular meetings. About how important the idea of family is to my folks,' Johnny was saying, as Kerry brushed her teeth. He sat on the edge of the bath and crossed his legs.

'Go on, I'm listening,' Kerry said, continuing to brush. The minty toothpaste seemed to refresh her, banishing the taste of food and wine.

'Our family gatherings, aren't just about meeting up sharing a meal and conversation,' Johnny said, speaking slowly, the words measured. 'Our family gatherings are about expressing love to one another, about bonding completely as a family unit.'

Kerry frowned at him, 'I don't think I understand.'

'What I mean is, the bonding of our family ties is not just emotional, but also physical.'

'Physical?' She rinsed and spat, trying to digest what Johnny was saying.

'Yes.'

'Physical love?'

'Yes.'

'You're winding me up,' she said flatly, examining his expression and not liking the humourless look in his eyes.

He stood. 'Let me show you.'

They left the bathroom and Johnny took her along the landing to a door. 'In here is the family bedroom. It's where we'll be sleeping, but only if you want.'

He opened the door, and she stepped inside. He flicked on a light and Kerry's voice died in her throat.

On entering Kerry's senses reeled. It was if she'd stepped into another world. The room was endless, its floor a duvet covered bed that stretched for miles. Kerry was there too her image multiplied endlessly and seeing her reflection her mind made sense out of the dazzling illusion. The room, though large, was ordinary. The walls, the ceiling, the floor, were covered completely in mirrors. By focusing she could guess were the edges of the room were. The bed, or rather mattress, for she could see no legs, was still vast. It looked as if someone had put together several king sized mattresses together. Its surface was about two feet off the ground, and although she could not be sure, because of the linen covering it, she guessed that huge bed was made up of a number of mattresses, piled on top of each other, and filling the room virtually wall to wall. Set into the mirrored ceiling there were lines of spotlights. From where Kerry stood in the doorway, there was a gap of about three feet before the end of the bed. Just enough room to open the door fully. Kerry sat on the edge of the bed taking it all in.

'I know what you must be thinking, Kez, but it's really not like that,' Johnny said, hesitantly, as he sat beside her.

Kerry was silent for a moment, her mind processing what he had said in the bathroom, and at the irrefutable proof that was this room. She felt stunned, as though someone had slapped her hard on the face, and she struggled to focus her mind before speaking, and when she spoke there was a tremor in her words.

'What I'm thinking, darling, is that you invited me up here to meet your parents and instead I find I am expected to participate in a sordid incestuous mass orgy with your family on a porno set, that doubtless would put to shame the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah. Consequently I'm beginning to suspect I have been brought here under false pretences. That, darling, is what I'm thinking.'

'No one is forcing you to do anything you don't want to. You can leave any time,' he said calmly as if she was over reacting to some perfectly ordinary suggestion.

'I can leave – not 'we', butI can leave any time.'

'Never ask me to choose between you and family, Kerry,' he said firmly.

Tears were welling up in her eyes. She tried to hold them back, but the dam was bursting. 'Oh God, this is a nightmare,' she choked.

Johnny stood and reached out. She flinched as his fingers brushed her shoulder. 'Get off me, you bastard!'

'Kerry . . . let me explain . . .'

'Give me the car keys.'

'Kerry . . .'

'The keys. Now!'

He fumbled in his pockets.

Kerry sniffed, trying to stifle the flow of tears. 'It's over, we're over. I don't want to see you again.'

He handed her the keys. She snatched them from his hand. She tried to pull off the ring, but it wouldn't budge. Fuck it, she thought, I'll pawn the damn thing.

'Please, Kerry, don't do this.'

'Fuck off,' she screamed. She was beyond caring what anyone overhearing her might think. Tears were blinding her. She turned to face the doorway - and found her path blocked.

'Jesus Christ, Johnny, what have you done to the poor girl?' Diane said.

'It's over, I'm going.' Kerry blurted out.

'You're not going anywhere in that state, my girl,' Diane said firmly. Then to Johnny: 'Go downstairs get a glass of water with ice.'

Johnny slipped past them both and went downstairs. Diane gently removed the car keys from Kerry's hand. 'Sit down,' she instructed.

'I'm going,' Kerry insisted.

'Sit,' Diane said, her voice no-nonsense, like a teacher admonishing a child. Kerry sat, on the edge of the bed. Diane knelt, pushing Kerry's hair back and wiping her tears. She cupped Kerry's face looking into bleary eyes. She shook her head. 'That idiot, what did he say to you?'

Kerry told her, and Diane said nothing until she finished, then stood and gave Kerry a hug. Kerry melted gratefully into her arms, burying her face in Diane's soft fragrant hair.

She heard footsteps as Johnny returned.

'Down there,' she heard Diane say. 'Give us some time. I'll call you.'

She heard Johnny leave, pulling the door to.

Diane held her, allowing Kerry to decide when to end the hug, just holding her for as long as Kerry needed, and for that alone Kerry was grateful. She pulled away, needing to see Diane's face, needing answers.

Diane gave a small smile of encouragement, and passed the glass of water to Kerry, who took a sip and placed it back on the floor by her feet.

'First of all,' Kerry began, her voice sounding hoarse, 'is it true?'

'Yes and no. It's not like you think. Firstly we don't refer to it as incest, or an orgy, for it isn't that either. Don't use those words in front of Johnny's parents, or any of the others for that matter.'

'You think I'm going to stick around here?' Kerry was incredulous.

'I think a good part of you wants to run, to leave here and never come back. But I also think there's another part of you that is confused but also curious. I know you love Johnny. I saw how you looked at him earlier tonight, and I think you like me and some of the other members of the family you've met. And maybe that is worth pausing for, before you make a decision.'

'What's to decide? Leave here, or let everyone fuck me like I'm the new whore in town.'

Diane leaned forward, placed a hand behind Kerry's head, and kissed her fully on the lips. Kerry tried to pull away, but Diane's grip on the back of her head was firm. Kerry resisted for a few seconds, then kissed Diane back, opened her mouth, allowing Diane's soft tongue to slide inside her mouth, her own tongue probing Diane's mouth with equal force. She reached a hand to one of Diane's big breasts. Diane pulled away, breaking off the kiss and at the same time pinched Kerry hard on the shoulder.

'Ow, what was that for?' Kerry protested, her mind a confused jumble of emotion.

'The kiss is because I like you, and wanted to do that since I saw you, and also because you needed it. The pinch you also needed. That was punishment for suggesting you're like a whore, I don't want to hear that from you again.'

Kerry leaned forward, wanting another kiss, to feel Diane's soft lips, have her wet tongue in her mouth.

Diane held up a finger stopping her. 'We need to talk.'

Kerry sighed, disappointed.

'I want you to listen, just listen. No interruptions, no questions till I've finished. Clear?'

Kerry nodded.

'Okay, as I mentioned when the family sleeps together, it is called bonding. Yes, there is sex among those who want it, but it is not compulsory. Those who don't want to can just hug or cuddle. The emphasis is on physical intimacy, but it doesn't have to be sex. The bonding begins with lights on but once everyone is here and the bonding is underway, the lights will dim until they go out so no one is sure who they are doing what with, apart from the knowledge that it is a family member, thus the bonding is a collective experience. I don't know how long it lasts, I think it varies. Time is meaningless anyway. The bonding culminates in what we called the transformation. I can't really describe it. It's something you have to experience yourself. The first few times you will be shocked, and unsettled, but after that you will grow to enjoy it. In the morning everything is back to normal. And that is it. Those are the bare facts. You really need to go through it to understand. One other thing, I know exactly what you are thinking and feeling. I went through it myself a few years ago. I too wanted to run and never look back, but I thought I'd go along just once and see. I've never looked back, and I am so glad I didn't run that first night. Now, any questions?'

'If I stayed, if – would you sleep beside me?'

Diane smiled, 'Of course I will.'

'I don't know what to do?' Kerry wailed, feeling the tears beginning to well up again.

'The first thing is to remind yourself you don't have to do anything you don't want to, and that you can leave anytime. And the second . . .' she left the words hanging, as she looked deep into Kerry's red bleary eyes.

'The second?' Kerry prompted.

Diane climbed up onto the bed behind her. 'The second is most important of all. You need to relax.'

She placed her hands on Kerry's shoulders and began to knead her taught muscles with strong expert fingers. Her touch was magical, and Kerry felt Diane's soft breasts press into her back. Diane's fingers and thumbs pressed and stroked the nape of Kerry's neck, moving down over her shoulders, pressing in so Kerry arched her back. Kerry reached behind her, fingers touching Diane's thighs, stoking her knuckles on smooth warm skin. Diane's fingers moved up again, trailing over the sides of Kerry's neck. Kerry reached and held one of Diane's hands, turning to kiss, then lick her fingers. Diane's lips brushed her neck; a gentle kiss, then a lick than sent a quiver down Kerry's back.

'Undress,' Diane whispered.

Kerry, stood and pulled her dress up over her head, and let the garment fall to the floor. She kicked off her shoes, and sat down again, her back still to Diane. Diane slipped her hands over Kerry's hips and caressed upwards, her touch warm and pleasurable. She stopped when she came to Kerry's bra. She unhooked the clasp and eased the straps off Kerry's shoulder. Kerry pulled off the undergarment and dropped it to the floor on top of her dress. Diane ran a thumb slowly over the indented marks on Kerry's skin when the straps had pressed into her back. Kerry gasped when she felt Diane kiss her wetly on the middle of her back where the clasp had been.

Diane moved her hands over Kerry's back, up around her rib cage and then up and over the curves of Kerry's large breasts, cupping them, kneading them slowly, then pressing against Kerry's erect nipples. She squeezed the hardened pink buds between her fingers and Kerry sucked in a deep breath, held her own hands over Diane's, then pulled them away so she could turn and face Diane. Diane moved back on to the middle of the bed and Kerry followed. They both sat, legs folded, heels under their buttocks, knees touching. Kerry stared into Diane's large green eyes, eyes that reflected her own hunger.

Kerry reached out feeling one of Diane's big breasts, finding her nipples erect like her own, clear bumps against the thin material of her dress. Diane leaned forward, and they kissed, tongues eager now, matching each other in their probing lust. Diane pushed forward and Kerry allowed herself to fall back on the bed so Diane was on top of her. Diane's fingers sought out Kerry's panties, and Kerry hooking a thumb under the waistband, helping Diane pull them down. She wriggled her legs to free the panties then kicked them off. Diane's hand was between Kerry's legs and Kerry widened her legs to allow her lover access and Diane thrust her tongue deeper into Kerry's mouth. Kerry let out a gasp as Diane slid a finger inside her warm slippery cleft. She wanted more. But Diane broke off the kiss and pulled away.

She sat looking down on Kerry and smiled at Kerry's disappointed expression. Kerry reached for her hand, but instead Diane held it up to her own face, then sucked the finger she had had inside Kerry. Kerry closed her eyes and felt a quiver of ecstasy. She heard the slide of material, and opened her eyes to see Diane pulling her dress over her head.

Diane had not been wearing any underwear and was now completely nude. She allowed Kerry's eyes to drink in her nakedness, her big round breasts each tipped with an erect pink nipple surrounded by large swollen areola, her lustrous dark hair, hanging loosely around her shoulders. Gently she eased Kerry's legs either side of her so she sat in between. Then, her eyes on Kerry's the whole time, she slowly lowered her head, between Kerry's thighs. Kerry sucked in a sharp breath as Diane's tongue slipped between her sopping lips, moving her tongue from the base of Kerry's wet pink folds, up slowly to the bud of her clitoris. She gave Kerry's engorged bud a long soft kiss, then looked up. Kerry gazed drowsily into Diane's eyes.