Partners

Getting out of the car, I locked it and went up to his place, carrying the case. I knocked on the door and after a minute, he opened it. He glanced down at my hand. "Oh, you didn't have to."

"Don't sweat it -- just use it to replace what I drink tonight."

He laughed. "Like you ever drink a lot. Come in, make yourself comfortable." He took the case from my hands and took it into the kitchen, while I continued on into the living room.

I took a seat, and after a minute, he came out and joined me. He sat uncommonly close to me on the couch. I noticed, but didn't think anything of it.

Sighing, he leaned back on the couch. "What a weekend."

"Seriously. Those girls were almost more work than a real suspect."

He turned at that, and looked me dead in the eye. "So tell the truth. Why didn't you sleep with Carmella? She practically threw herself at you."

I smiled sheepishly. "Not that I didn't want to, Matt. But all I could think about was you coming back from your dinner date with Aria and seeing the still relatively new agent, instead of working, having sex with the assistant of the girl we're supposed to protect. I don't need that kind of reputation around the office."

"And if she came onto you when we weren't working?"

"Well, that would be a whole different kettle of fish, now wouldn't it? I mean, she's damn hot."

He nodded.

"What about you? From everything I hear, Aria's been into you for a couple of years now."

He shrugged. "I just don't know."

Silence for a moment. I was surprised to find I was very aware of his body, near mine. I could smell his aftershave, faintly, and I realized that around Matt at least, I was beginning to feel comfortable and at home.

I wondered what the company shrink would say about that. Matt interrupted my thoughts.

"So have you given any thought to what I said?"

I searched my memory but wasn't sure what he meant. "Sorry, I don't remember."

"Yeah. Thanks for listening to me."

"Sorry, man! Like everything you say is important."

He laughed. "Touché. I was talking about you maybe not having found the right person."

"Oh. That."

"Yeah. That."

"Well...." I hesitated, then took a swig of my beer and decided to go for it.

"I might find someone who was 'right' for me if I let them try, I guess. I just never let anybody close enough to me. Everyone gets turned off by the attitude you've noticed."

"So the evil truth comes out."

I shrugged. "I guess so."

"Have you ever considered something else?"

"Like what?"

"Like...have you ever considered you might be queer?"

Silence.

I glanced at him cautiously, but there was no censure in his eyes. On the contrary, there was sympathy, and curiosity. I bit back the sarcastic comment I had meant to say and instead considered his comment seriously. I looked down into my lap.

"I don't know. I don't think so. I've never been attracted to a guy before."

"Before? Before what?"

I caught my breath. Had I added the qualifier? Really? There was a pause, and the air was heavy with tension. Not entirely surprised, I felt his hand on my chin, and he gently turned my face to his. He was only a few inches away, and I held my breath.

Matt looked into my eyes for a long moment. I thought he was going to say something, but instead he leaned forward and kissed me on the mouth, gently, almost timidly.

I had a secret that I had never ever told anybody. I had never had anything like a "first kiss". I had kissed girls but there had never been the least romance behind it, it had only been in the course of seduction or during sex and when I could I tried not to at all.

So this was the first time I had ever been kissed by someone so romantically and sweetly, someone I trusted this much, and I have to say, it was wonderful.

Matt's mouth was warm and soft, and the kiss seemed almost shy. It only lasted a few seconds, and then he pulled away from me. I realized my eyes were closed. I also realized I had followed him, ever so slightly.

I opened my eyes to find him still sitting close to me, looking into mine. His hand was still cupping my face.

"I hope that didn't offend you."

I exhaled. "I-" I stopped, and started again. "Where did that come from?"

"Just been thinking about doing it for a while, and you've seemed incredibly lonely ever since I met you."

"I didn't think you were gay." What an inane thing to say.

"I never said I was."

"Bi?" Why did I even care, at this point?

He smiled. "Let's just say I think sexuality is a flexible thing and, for me, anyway, has more to do with who you care for than what sex they happen to be. But you didn't answer my question. Did I offend you?"

I shook my head. "No. No, you didn't offend me."

"Did you like it?"

"I...I don't know. I didn't hate it or anything like that." I hastened to add.

"Should I try again?

I raised my eyes back to his and started to speak, then instead just nodded. "Please," I whispered.

He did not disappoint and his lips met mine again, still warm and soft, still so undemanding.

I shivered and put my hands up on his chest. "Wait."

He stopped immediately, pulling back just a bit. His face was still inches from mine.

"I don't know how we got to this point, Matt. I uh, I need some time. I'm sorry."

He covered my mouth with his fingers. "I understand."

I stood, somewhat clumsily, as did he. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I said, heading for the door. At the door he called me. "Kaiden."

I turned.

"Please stop apologizing, first of all. It's perfectly OK. Secondly, I should be the one to say sorry. I'm sorry if I offended you."

I hesitated, then nodded, and headed out the door.

I drove home in a fog. Kissed by a man! And I had liked it! How had I gotten through all these years without having the faintest inkling that this might be something I liked?

I let myself into my apartment. I didn't turn on any of the lights and went straight to the bedroom. I stripped down to my shorts and lay on the bed, thinking.

I still remembered the way his dark eyes had looked into my own, the way he had been almost tender. And how easily his mouth fit against mine, and the feeling of his hand on my cheek.

I realized I was hard just thinking about it. God Almighty, what had happened to me?

I expected work the next day to be awkward, but when I got in, Rebecca informed me that Matt had been sent on an unexpected business trip. "So, he'll be back tonight, no worries. In the meantime I have a couple of things for you to work on. You've been here long enough to handle it..."

I admit, I was grateful for the work. It distracted me at least partially.

The day went by, and then the evening. I went home and had dinner alone, and then sat and watched TV for a while.

At 9 PM I was standing outside of Matt's door. I knew he'd be home, I'd asked Rebecca when his flight returned. Hesitantly, I knocked on the door.

Silence for a moment, and then the door opened cautiously, and he peeked out. "Oh, it's you. Come on in." He turned and went back in the house, leaving me to follow.

"Have a seat. You want a beer?"

"Sure." I sat, unsure of what I was even doing here.

He brought it over, and then sat opposite me and opened his own.

"So how was your trip?"

"Busy. I had to be in downtown Sydney all day long. You remember the case we worked on three weeks ago?" And he reminded me of the specifics of the case.

We talked for a bit, but the conversation was desultory and distracted. Finally I interrupted him.

"Matt, about last night..."

He subsided into silence. Getting up, he placed his beer on the table. He looked at me and gestured. "Is it all right if I come sit near you, or are you going to run away again?"

I laughed, and the tension relaxed a little. "I'm sorry. If I told you the amount of times I've run away from someone who got a little too close..."

"I got the idea." He came over and, instead of sitting next to me, sat on the coffee table right across from me. He put his folded hands into his lap and leaned forward, looking right into my eyes.

"So. Last night. Did I scare you?"

"Um, you kissed me. Totally out of the blue. It was a bit shocking, yes."

He smiled wryly. "I take it you've never been kissed by another guy before?"

I rolled my eyes. "If I had, would I have reacted like that?"

"So...should I do it again?"

My breath caught in my throat. I felt like I was fourteen years old and just beginning to explore my sexuality. I hesitated, and then nodded. He chuckled.

Sliding forward to the edge of the table, he took my hands in his. Mine were sweaty and probably a bit clammy; his were slightly rough and cool. He gripped them tightly, and without hesitation his mouth went for mine.

He kissed me, and this time, I welcomed it, closing my eyes and letting him take charge. He kissed me and I felt his mouth open and his tongue gently brush against my mouth before he moved back -- not all the way to where he had been sitting before, mind you, just a little.

"How was that?" he whispered. "Going to run away now?"

In response I leaned forward and kissed him back, somewhat clumsily. He responded, chuckling. I felt him shift and move onto the couch next to me, and then he folded me into his arms, drawing me close to him.

His mouth opened slightly and I felt his tongue flick along my lips. I shivered and realized I was fully erect, and my pants were suddenly uncomfortable. I opened my mouth and tried to catch his tongue, and he chuckled, warmly, into my mouth.

"Plenty of time, Kaiden. Don't rush it."

I sighed. He let his mouth roam to the edge of my mouth, which he kissed, then followed the line of my jaw to my ear. I felt his hot breath on my skin, and my arms came up almost involuntarily and gripped his biceps. I felt them, tense, under my hands.

"You're desperately lonely, aren't you?" Matt whispered in my ear. "I see it in your face, especially when Aria comes onto me. You look so...hungry. You just won't admit it to anyone, not even yourself. You're a total glutton for punishment."

I heard myself sigh again slightly....he pulled me even closer to him, until my body pressed against his. He put his arms around me and I could feel his heart beating. I stiffened at first, unsure of how to deal with the hug.

"I don't know why I like you, Kaiden. You're a pain in the ass and hard to deal with. But fuck, you're hot."

And thus saying, he covered my mouth again with his own, this time, gently biting my mouth until I opened it and then sliding his tongue inside. The feelings rushing through me were stunning and I didn't know how to react. I stiffened as I felt his hard cock rub against my leg, through both our pants. But there was no denying it; my own cock was hard as well, just from the rush of emotions.

His hands were exploring my body. One of them reached around behind my neck and cupped my head, and pulled me roughly toward him; I felt him pull my hair a little and I gasped. His other arm rested loosely on my shoulder, the fingers slipping just underneath my collar, touching my bare skin.

I was lost, and he brought me back to the moment when he bit my mouth, playfully. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "Where did you go, Kaiden? Stay with me, we're just getting started."

With that he pulled roughly at my shirt, letting the buttons slip one by one from their openings. I started to say something, I wasn't sure what.

"Matt..."

He cocked his head. "Are you going to tell me you're still afraid? Look, just doing this doesn't make us married, you know. But if you want me to stop..."

I shook my head. "No...just go slow. Please. This is all new to me."

Without preamble, he gently rested his hand on my cock. "I can tell you like it, though."

My cock seemed to want to surge through my pants. To my shock, I actually blushed.

True to his word, he moved slowly. He took his time, slipping each button of my shirt open and then planting wet kisses down my chest and flat, muscular belly. I shivered as I felt his teeth scrape along my ribs, and then efficiently and neatly he had somehow divested me of my shirt and I felt his fingers at my belt.

"Matt..." I breathed, but it was no longer a sound of protest. Now it was more like a plea as he slipped my belt through the loops and undid my pants. He opened them, gently, and pulled my shorts down, and my cock sprang into view, harder than I had ever felt it, fully erect.

His hand curled around it, gripped it, and began to stroke it. So very very different from a woman...almost comforting in a way. And then I felt his mouth close over the head and I lost all thought.

"Ohhh...damn, that feels good," I whispered as his mouth engulfed my cock, working down the length of it. He pulled at my pants, and I shifted so he could move them around my hips, and then I felt him take me down all the way, his warm wet mouth stroking me, loving me.

I shifted my hips, pushing forward into his mouth a little more. Instead of gagging or protesting he moved with me and let me sink into his mouth further. I groaned again and put my hands in his hair and gripped his head...oh, he was so good. I began sliding in and out of his mouth, slowly at first, then building up, moving faster, until I was actually fucking his mouth. And he took it! I couldn't, however, and with a grunt I slammed to the back of his mouth and came, powerful thrusts filling it. I could feel him swallowing around me and I shivered all over.

He didn't let go of me even then, but gently cleaned me off, sucking on me until I was spent. Only then did he move up my body and look down into my eyes...and then kissed my mouth, greedily. I could taste my own come on his tongue and I felt myself begin to stiffen again already.

"Would you like to move to the bedroom?" he whispered softly.

I nodded, wordlessly. He helped me up, and as he did, divested me of the rest of my clothes, slipping my shoes off my feet as well. Of course I felt a little self-conscious, naked except for my socks, but he said nothing about it, merely kept his arms around me in a very reassuring way.

In the bedroom, he gestured for me to lie on his bed. I did, leaning back, and watched him.

Standing at the edge of the bed, watching me, he pulled his shirt up over his head, unbuttoned his jeans, let them drop with his shorts, and kicked them away with a delightful lack of self-consciousness. It took him less than a minute. My eyes immediately dropped to his cock, which was as hard as my own was when he took it in his mouth, jutting out from his body.

He came to me, crawling across the bed, his dark eyes smiling slightly. "Do you like what you see, Kaiden?"

"I do, though I'm not sure why."

"I think you just like guys," he said, as he guided my hand to his erect cock. My breath caught as I held another man's cock in my hand for the first time ever.

"Maybe I just like you, Matt."

He stopped, and smiled down at me, his cock sliding gently in and out of my hand. "Maybe you do. Either way, if you don't already, I'm going to make sure you do."