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Josh goggled at her. "This is Dawn we're talking about. The only feeling she knows is the orgasmic kind. You can't honestly say she doesn't deserve that dilemma."
"Look, are you going to be helpful or not?" Jacquie demanded.
Josh blew air through his teeth. It was Jacquie, so he'd help her, but he made a mental note to laugh in Dawn's face when she walked through the door tonight.
"How the hell should I know?" he asked.
"Well, you're a guy. What would you prefer?"
Josh was now feeling slightly awkward. He wanted this conversation to conclude soon, which meant answering Jacquie's stupid questions.
"I really have no experience in this area," he said.
"Okay, so none of your girlfriends have ever cheated on you," Jacquie said, "but can't you just imagine what you'd prefer."
Josh shuffled uncomfortably in his seat, feeling his palms start to sweat. He found he could no longer meet Jacquie's gaze, which had nothing to do with his acne.
"Ah," he began, "you see," he continued, "I...uh...I don't really...that is to say, Ihaven't..."
Jacquie was now looking at her brother very peculiarly. Josh felt her gaze weighing on him like a sack of stones, and felt as though he was crumbling under its pressure.
"Well, the truth is...I haven't really ever had a...girlfriend...sort of," he finished lamely.
"Sort of?" Jacquie inquired, already a bit unseated by the news.
"I mean 'sort of' as in...never." Josh was plainly refusing to meet Jacquie's eyes now.
"Never?!" Jacquie asked, amazed.
Her tone sent sparks of fury charging through Josh's body. He leapt off the sofa.
"No, okay. Never! What's the big deal? Just because I'm not some...some..." he cast around for words, "male slut, it makes me what? A dork? Well...I'd rather be a dork than a...a...an STD factory."
Jacquie was wearing an expression of mixed amusement and sympathy, though the sympathy, in this case, far outweighed the amusement.
"So...does that mean you haven't had sex either?" she asked.
Josh was too furious to listen to his brain, which was screaming "Dignity! Dignity! Don't forget your dignity!" He replied,
"No, I haven't."
He stood there, fuming, waves of anger radiating from his body like heat from a furnace. Jacquie, though, didn't quail under his glare, and spoke, apparently to herself.
"Huh," she said. "I guess I owe Dawn twenty bucks."
Josh did a double take, his eyes bulging dangerously out of his sockets. "You bet on me!?" he cried in outrage, looking scandalised.
It was now Jacquie's turn to fidget and avert her gaze. "Well...we didn't really take it seriously. It was just something we did for fun."
"Fun?" Josh bellowed. "Fun? My virginity is not something to be used for your amusement!"
At this point, Josh's brain gave up entirely and diverted blood flow back to his penis, where it usually was.
"No," Jacquie replied. "I'm sorry."
Josh's fists were still clenching and unclenching at his sides, but he registered the apology, and felt his heart rate begin to fall. Apologies from Jacquie were usually genuine, apologies from Alice were always genuine, and apologies from Dawn werenevergenuine.
The peak of energy had now left Josh feeling tired and deflated. He waved away the apology with his hand. "Don't worry," he said. "Sorry I exploded."
"That's okay," Jacquie replied. "It was just a shock, that's all. I always assumed you would have. Even Dawn assumed you'd had a girlfriend. But," she added, seeing Josh's shoulders tense up again, "it doesn't matter if you haven't. There's nothing wrong with that."
Josh nodded absently. Heaving a sigh of relief, Jacquie stood up, ready to run the hell out of the lounge room.
"Well," she said, "at least now I know."
Josh's eyes flashed and his whole body stiffened. "You mean," he said in measured tones, "this was just to find out if I'd had sex?"
Jacquie smiled her mischievous smile. Josh got ready to erupt again. "I'm just kidding," Jacquie chimed in, not a moment too soon. "I'm kidding. Dawn really is having a problem."
Josh breathed normally again. "You," he said, "will get the biggest comeuppance one day, and it'll be in the form of my foot kicking your fat ass."
Jacquie squealed, looking affronted. "I donot have a fat ass," she screeched, chasing Josh out of the room.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 5 years agoThis started out so good. With so much intrigue and promise. I was interested in the characters and how they would all come together and become a better family. I was wildly mistaken. Things start to go down hill by the time Dawn enters the main story.
Let's start with Josh, he is an awful protagonist. The author says more than once that she intended on having the perspective bonce from character to character as needed. But then she only does it a few times, making it feel out of place in a off putting way. If she had done it consistently, or at least once a chapter, it would have made the story much better. But being in Josh's mind throughout the story starts to become depressing to down right infuriating as time goes on.
He so easily lies to Jacquie about Dawn, he treats Dawn like a sex object then pretends like he doesn't want to do that. And then . . . oh Christ, and then we get to Alice. He treats her like a goddess, paragraph upon paragraph of him describing every crease in her skin to the length of every eyelash. It's utterly ridiculous, and it forces me to think of the insane writing for the Twilight saga. How Bella spends, some times pages fawning over how attractive Edward is. And just like that read, I found myself skipping entire paragraphs, trying to get the story to move again.
So now, I'm not cheering for the protagonist. Reading is becoming a chore instead of a pleasure. And then to top it all off, the story takes a hard right in chapter 18 that is so bad that I quit. I wanted to finish this damn story so I could give it a proper review, but not only is it unfinished from freaking 2005, it also becomes a fucking soap opera. And I despise those greatly. The amount of things that happen in rapid succession from 16 to 18 is complete nonsense. Once I realized that the story wasn't going to improve, only get filled with more and more drama, I officially tapped out.
So I say unto you reader, read this at your own caution. Remember, it isn't finished and there is a good chance that she walked away from this because she went way too deep and couldn't figure out how to write an outcome for it. That's my suspicion anyway. If you do decide to read it (maybe you like drama, who knows), then I wish you luck.
Anonymousalmost 6 years agoThis is an unfinished story/novel. The writer indicates he will say when it's the last chapter but it does not happen. I was hoping for a grand finale, appropriate to this length novel. But it goes 20 chapters and just stops -- like a car trip that does not arrive at a destination but just quits.
Also, I felt that the title was somewhat false advertising. The mom (Laura) is never involved comparable to the other 4. She is simply a minor background actor who seldom appears and could be left out without affecting the plot. "Party of Four" would be a better description (except that there is no actual party -- except in the sense of "group").
It held me enough to make it through all 20 chapters, although I did skip and scan some parts where Josh has big concerns over small issues (ie., too much angst). But, it was somewhat disappointing that it just went, without going anywhere.
In sum, if you just want to go for the trip itself, you might enjoy this 20 chapter journey. But if you want to arrive at a definite somewhere, you'll be disappointed.
Paul in Oklahoma
Anonymousover 8 years agoRe the above comment by Infinite Wotsit. What you did not obseve is that Vertigo J's was the first of the two stories published - not the second!!!
InfiniteFoldingSpacealmost 9 years agoSimilar circumstance, same number of sisters, and even reuses two of the same names.
