He looked down at her, grinning and enjoying the lingering sensation of a fuck well-done. They both looked around realising they were outside her flat, totally exposed if someone happened to pop out. She quickly composed herself, grabbed her clothes, and didn't even notice the stranger had vanished. Before she knew it, she was back in her fla wondering what the fuck had happened?!
As she entered her bedroom she noticed the book was laying open. It read: "Patricia's Awakening - Part 1". She began reading the chapter, noticing how accurately it described what she had just done. HOW, WHAT, HOW?!?!?! She flipped past the chapter and on through the pages, but they were all blank. As she flipped back to the end of the first chapter, she saw writing appear.
"I hope you enjoyed our first little adventure together. Now get to bed, there is more to look forward to."
HOLY SHIT, THIS IS INSANE! She couldn't believe this was happening. What on earth did she get herself into? She realised it was very late and felt terribly tired. She decided it was best to get to bed and sleep it off. Perhaps tomorrow things would be better. Before she know it, she was drifting back to sleep.
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I liked
the premise, but, couldn't understand WHY she needed a MAGIC book to become a slut. Just became a mindless stroke story after that.
You need an editor
Honestly, get an editor to help you with the typos and other syntax issues. Your dialog needs to sound more believable and less like a male infatuated porno.
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