Paulette, Peg, and J vs. the Amazon

Peggy tells me that it may work both ways, which doesn't make me any happier. Fortunately a white lady comes down to the waterfront with several older villagers. Our Indians drop us off in the shallow water; give Paulette one more pat, and race off the way we came. Our lone white lady calls out in English.

"Who are you?" She's an American.

"Hey," Peggy calls out, "we are part of a plane crew that crashed a few kilometers away. Do you have a radio?"

"We sure do," the woman responds. "My companions and I are missionaries. I'm Ellen and my husband and leader is Jack. What are your names?"

We walk up to her and the new locals give us some space.

"I'm Peggy, and this is Paulette and my male friend is Joshua," Peggy says by way of introduction.

"We are together," I add.

"Oh," Ellen studies us, "are you a ... couple."

"They are my ladies if that is what you mean," I say cautiously. Ellen comes up and strokes my arm.

"My boy, I totally understand. We are Mormon's too," she says with a smile.

I'm about to say something but Peggy pinched my arm.

"Why isn't that wonderful," Paulette says while I am distracted.

"I never suspected to find polygamists like us out here," Ellen grins. I have no idea what a polygamist is but I am smart enough to know I should shut up. It apparently means that I can have sex with both my girls in the same hut at the same time and still be a Godly person. I think Mormons rock, but Paulette insists that we be Episcopalians.

The next evening, with help on the way, we are sitting around the campfire eating a hearty dinner with our new friends when there is a sudden disturbance at the edge of the camp. The Pilot comes staggering in, looking like hell and babbling about a plane wreck, dead companions, and cannibals. He takes one look at Paulette, Peggy, and me and passes out.

When I get home everyone tells me I'm the luckiest man alive. I must be smarter than I thought, because I already knew that.