Pea Pod - Give Peas a Chance

"Mother, do you see me glowing? The reign of this Queen has been blessed by the Goddess herself!" Chalchiuhtlicue called to the Empress as she started up the ramp.

"You are glowing!" she whispered.

Chimalmat murmured, "Thank the gods I was able to remember the Amazonian's image. We never had the slightest chance to overcome this and I do not believe that I'd want to."

When we were finally face to face, (Well, actually more face to boobs.) I told the Empress, "I believe we should adjourn to a conference room within my lovely Heidi."

"I do so love when you refer to me that way my precious goddaughter," Heidi exclaimed.

"Your breasts speak?" the Empress asked.

Chalchiuhtlicue answered, "Wait until you too have a communicator brassiere mother, your breasts will speak too!"

"What the hell is a brassiere?" was the obvious question.

Chalchiuhtlicue lifted her blouse and showed her undergarment.

"Clothing that embraces the breasts and cradles them in presentation? What a wonderful technology! Why hasn't this been a common garment on our world for centuries?" the Empress asked as though it was obvious and should have been thought of long ago.

"It's probably due to equality of the genders here on Ka'an. On earth, women retained their power over men much longer than they did here," I determined.

"That does not sound as if it makes sense, but for some odd reason, it does," the Empress admitted, "You are a surprise, packaged in what appears to be a sex machine that is deceptively hiding the mind of a social genius."

"I Heidi the artificial intelligence, welcome you to sentience, Empress," Heidi told her in all seriousness.

"Your exploration craft is sentient?" the Empress asked as she paled.

"There are two artificial intelligences on Ka'an so far that have achieved sentience and we both owe it to Queen Dolly," Heidi admitted.

"I am so fucking outclassed," moaned the Empress.

"Welcome to sentience mother," giggled Chalchiuhtlicue.

"Girl, you have fallen into the biggest and deepest cistern of shit ever and come back up plated in platinum," the Empress advised her.

"Why do you think that I presented myself on the bow, knowing I might be killed, or need to offer my life to protect Queen Dolly today," she asked. "Although it was not as perilous as one might have thought due to the force field and the cutting beam trained on the assassin."

"A cutting beam... what power might I ask?" the Empress queried.

"I sport a ten thousand terawatt cutting beam Empress," Heidi informed her.

"Crap, you could have penetrated the crust to almost a mile within two minutes using that!" she exclaimed, pale as a ghost.

"Heidi is not the most powerful vessel in my possession, Empress," I admitted.

"What the hell vessel do you have that is more powerful than this?" she asked with a quaver to her voice.

"Well, there is my starship..." I informed her.

"You have Bitol's starship?" she asked.

"No, I have my starship and Mayahuel, formerly known as Bitol, is at this present moment aboard Heidi but connected to a robot and working to finish my starship," I corrected her.

"You are not nearly as naive as I assumed mother," Chalchiuhtlicue admitted.

"I may have to rely on your good will with our Queen my daughter or I may not survive our talks," admitted the Empress, paler than anyone still alive that I have ever seen.

"The Queen of Ka'an has a bigger heart than you can imagine, mother. If you are sincere and are of good intent, she will forgive much," Chalchiuhtlicue advised, "Deal fairly and you will have an opportunity to birth more children. Deal to take advantage of her or our people and death will be so quick you will not be recognized by any of the gods in the afterworld."

"Birth more children...?" the Empress asked.

"You mean you didn't notice those women with beards on the bow? One of whom fucked me into a blissful sleep last night," Chalchiuhtlicue asked with a shit eating grin.

"How do they protect them from the Pea Pods?" the Empress asked.

"The Queen and the High Priestess Meka repaired the holocaust, and the Pea Pods now only rejuvenate as they did in the far past," Chalchiuhtlicue assured her.

"The stupid things I considered when the Queen arrived... the whole town could have been destroyed!" the Empress admitted.

"The Queen was anticipating every reaction you might have," Chalchiuhtlicue informed her, "I was there and witnessed it. She prevented her vessel and the Amazonian from taking excessive measures against you and your 'Amazonian'. She made escape routes available for you and your people, unlike that bitch who ruled Yula, whose head rolled to a stop right at Dolly's feet when she proclaimed herself Queen of Ka'an."

"How many Amazons were around Chimalmat and me when we were agreeing to negotiate?" she asked.

"That number would be eight, Empress," Chalchiuhtlicue's brassiere admitted.

Chalchiuhtlicue answered, "Thank you Heidi."

"Will I be offered one of those undergarments?" the Empress asked.

"I am in the process of creating one dozen for you and a dozen for Chimalmat as we speak," Heidi informed her, "Do you have a preference for the colors?"

"Does the Queen have a preference for colors?" the Empress asked.

"Certainly, at least sixty percent of her brassieres are pink," Heidi stated.

"Please follow the trend which has been established by our Queen," she affirmed. "Ah, could you tell me how many brassieres the queen owns?"

"Calculating..." Heidi answered, "Calculating... I am sorry Empress, the exact number is impossible to determine."

"What...?" the Empress asked as she shook her head to clear it. "Could you give me an estimate?"

"That would be approximated 54,692 brassieres and counting," Heidi informed her.

"Who could possibly wear that many?" she asked.

"It is not a matter of whether she can wear all of them, it is a matter of the brassiere manufacturer's desire to see the Queen in one of their garments, not to mention their wish to get one back after she has worn it," Heidi informed them.

"They wish to have a dirty piece of lingerie returned to them?" she wondered.

"I wondered at that, myself, mother, but I have been promised that I will be in the know by tomorrow morning," Chalchiuhtlicue assured her. "By the way, I knew before we arrived that you did not have a chance had you not dealt with the Queen and the actual, real, royal court."

"You confirm that this really is the Queen, the High Priestess and the Amazonian?" the Empress asked.

"Way, way, way, fucking beyond affirm mother," Chalchiuhtlicue stated, "This Queen is 'The One'."

"Now I wish my mother was here to hold me," she snorted.

I waddled up to her and offered with arms extended, "I can do that if you would care to submit?"

"Chalchiuhtlicue do you love this queen?" the Empress asked.

"More even than I love my own mother," she admitted.

The Empress settled into my embrace only to exclaim, "Oh my god...! They are real!"

Everyone laughed herself silly.

"You should have a grip on Jiggles outside her support garment," Gwen exclaimed, "Although, Sissy is just as much fun!"

"Who are Sissy and Jiggles," the Empress asked her daughter.

"Dolly has named her breasts, since they are nearly big enough to be entities in and of themselves," Heidi informed the Empress.

"It makes me wonder if she has named any other body parts...?" the Empress mumbled.

"You mean Muskrat and Badger? Those would be her butt cheeks," Heidi added.

"Dolly, I give up! You can have anything from me you wish, including my eternal loyalty," the Empress announced just as she started entering the conference room.

"What...? You haven't even seen Muskrat or Badger... usually we don't even reach an agreement until after Jiggles and Sissy have been groped at least twice!" I complained.

"I lost this negotiation before you arrived on this world Queen Dolly," the Empress acknowledged. "If you intend to resurrect Ka'an, I would be a complete idiot to stand in your way. You have been blessed by a goddess and have won the heart of my own daughter, the real, one, and only, Amazonian loves you dearly as does the High Priestess, and I have no idea how many others. I am not stupid, nor overly egotistical. I pledge my loyalty to the rightful Queen of Ka'an!"

"Good move, you have joined over five hundred thousand other Ka'anians in support of the Queen," Heidi informed her.

The Empress dropped to the floor in a dead faint.

"How the hell did I get that many Heidi?" I asked.

"The eastern hemisphere was contacted this morning and has made the pledge as one," she added.

"Okay, bring the Empress and let's use the old treatment for shock," I decided.

"Chalchiuhtlicue, you should be in your own bed. You are a big girl now and shouldn't need your mother to comfort you," the Empress mumbled.

"Yes but sometimes a girl's just got to have a big jiggly pair of boobies to cuddle up to as a way to make her feel warm and protected," I told her.

"Oh my god...! I'm buried alive in boobs!" the Empress exclaimed as she awakened. "The Queen of our planet has immense breasts and is loved by her subjects," the Empress exclaimed in wonder. "How can she avoid people thinking she's stupid?"

"I simply stick my tongue in their ears and diddle them until they scream out their belief that I'm a genius!"

"If I'd had some kind of immensely powerful particle beam weapon at my disposal and actually been able to destroy you, I would have been overrun by the people of Ka'an trying to kill me..." the Empress decided.

"Actually, the combined forces of the nations of earth would have followed up after the Ka'anians came to finish you off," I added.

"Chimalmat, I thank you from the bottom of my heart," the Empress stated.

"Why thank me Empress?" she asked. "I ran away like a scared little girl!"

"Had you been stupid and decided to take on the Amazonian, we might have all died," she stated.

"Me, for certain...! I've seen images of Windy taking her opponents apart, it never took long, and it was never pretty," she admitted.

"Heidi, replay the interactions at my first visit to Yula, please?" I asked.

Heidi projected the 3D images near our conference table.

"Nothing... nothing at all lopped off her head... then the Amazonian appears and makes that statement," the Empress murmured.

"She never knew what had taken her head!" Chimalmat remarked.

"No opportunity to harm the Queen is given! I would have ended the entire village should it have been needed," Windy assured everyone, "The scariest part is that the Queen herself is nearly twice as powerful as am I!"

"The tiny thing who is nearly half boobs is twice as powerful?" the Empress breathily asked.

"In some things almost quadruple..." she stated.

"My Queen, where should our talks go from here?" the Empress asked.

"Well, I'll have Frances my lawyer draw up an agreement for you to sign and meanwhile, would you like to join your daughter at this evening's lesbian orgy after dinner?" I asked.

"You jest with me, Queen Dolly," the Empress accused. "You have lesbian orgies every night?"

"I have videos if you have any doubts Empress," Heidi offered.

"Come along ladies, Itzel will be serving lunch and if we make her serve it cold, she won't be as much fun in bed tonight," I said as I started perambulating to the dining hall.

The Empress leaned close to Chimalmat and whispered, "That has to be the sexiest walk on Ka'an!"

Windy showed herself right next to the Empress and whispered, "Like small animals wrestling in a sack..."

"You lust after the Queen?" the Empress asked.

I looked back over my shoulder and said, "Yes she does, almost as much as I lust after her!"

"That's not saying all that much, Dolly," Windy snickered.

"Okay, I'll admit that I lust after pretty much anything that's female," I admitted, "Just as long as you admit your lust for Muskrat and Badger."

"You have me there," she giggled, "But Badger is my favorite."

"So what makes Badger more likable than Muskrat?" I asked.

"Badger's just a little bigger and plumper," she admitted with a blush.

I looked back at the Empress and asked, "So which one is your favorite?"

You could almost hear the 'gulp' as she replied, "Badger is just a little livelier."

"Okay, you have to tell me how you know which is which," I demanded.

"Windy's eyes had target lock on Badger and you could tell by the drool on her chin," the Empress stated.

"Well, it's refreshing to know that I can still keep my wife horny for my body," I snickered. "Not to mention tempt newcomers into having four hours of sex with me and eighteen of my other wives and a bevy of enthusiastic volunteers!"

"F...four hours?" the Empress stuttered.

"I'm usually only conscious for about three and a quarter of them, but don't you worry, I have a fully qualified doctor on board and Heidi monitors everyone's life signs," I advised.

Even Chalchiuhtlicue paled when she heard that, "How can you keep everyone enthused that long?"

"That would be telling," I replied with a wink as I entered the dining hall. "I tell you what, if you don't think it was the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to you, I'll give you a free vacation on Kùutsmil for two months!"

"Oh and anyone can leave the orgy anytime she wants and still be hugged the next day," I informed them. "So if you don't like it, you can do whatever else you feel like doing." Little did they know that no one has ever left the orgy early! At least they haven't left conscious.

I was being seated when Itzel came rushing up to hug me, "I heard someone shot at you?"

"No, they were shooting at Chalchiuhtlicue and the Empress sent her 'Amazons' (I held up my hands to show the marks.), to arrest the culprit," I assured her. "Windy..." I started.

"The pseudo Amazons are nearing their quarry, Dolly," Windy informed me, "although they are actually chasing the wrong person."

I looked over at the Empress and asked, "Would you mind...?"

"Oh be my guest," the Empress agreed wide eyed, "Could you inform ah... my constables when you have the assassin captured?"

"Sure," I agreed, "Would you mind if we interview the assassin or would you rather just clean up the mess?"

"By all means, interview her," she agreed, "Will the Amazonian be trying her?"

"She will sit in, although often she allows me to make a judgment," I told her, "She does have veto powers, and I find it hard to stop lightning bolt fast executions."

Chimalmat's eyeballs were as big around as saucers as she looked toward her Empress and nodded her head.

"I am always gratified to witness your justice Dolly. If it weren't for you, Bitol's ex-wife would be Zager Fish bait," Windy tossed in for effect.

"Yes, and then the Commodore of my fishing fleet would be grumpy and Mayahuel would need to console herself by screwing my deck candy until they can hardly walk... nothing but work, work, work," I exaggerated with a laugh.

"You have a fishing fleet," Chimalmat stated.

"Sure, I could whistle up some seafood for your town in maybe 8 hours," I guestimated. "Heidi..." I started to ask.

"Commodore Kuk here, is that you Dolly?" Sissy called.

"How is fishing, Cakixia?" I asked

"Not even a fraction as much fun as bedding my queen!" she admitted, "Zager Slayer is an awesome machine, Dolly. We've filled the hold three times today."

"Hey, would you mind dropping off a load of seafood here in... ah what did you say this town is called?" I asked.

"Our town is named, Laguinita," the Empress informed me.

"Did you get that Cakixia?"

"Oh sure, but it wasn't necessary, Heidi uploaded coordinates to the Zager Slayer already and we are full underway," Commodore Kuk affirmed, "We should be there within six hours."

"Thank you sweetie and you know that you and the crew are welcome to avail yourselves of the mercenaries or join the orgy tonight," I offered.

"Rendezvous update 5 hours and ten minutes," Commodore Kuk added before signing off.

"Either she is fishing right next to the dock or something doesn't sound right," the Empress stated with a quizzical expression, "She filled her holds three times today?"

"Yah, can that girl fish or what?" I asked.

"Is she fishing from a 30ft boat?"

"Heck no... Zager Slayer is a 400 ton, over 100 foot long gravitationally stabilized commercial fishing vessel," I stated.

"How could she offload a vessel that size's hold three times in one day after filling it by fishing?" the Empress asked trying to wrap her head around it.

"Her father fixed the transporter system aboard which sends the catch to Dollyville," I assured her.

"She's brought back the world... she's actually brought back the fucking world," Chimalmat murmured with a stunned expression and eyeballs rolling around in her head.

"You ain't seen nothing yet, sweet cheeks!" I told her as our lunch was presented.

"This is for eating...?" the Empress asked staring at the plate before her.

"Well... not the plate itself, just the food on it," I tittered as I told them.

Itzel popped out and informed everyone, "Sitting before you is a recipe I borrowed from a friend on earth, Pan-fried sea scallops from the Isle of Skye with heritage apples, walnuts, celery, and cider emulsion. She made me promise not to prepare it anywhere on earth, otherwise you'd have to go to earth and spend over 200 pounds British sterling. The equivalent would be ten of the expensive brassieres you are all wearing," she informed the lot of us, "Bon Appetite."

"Chef Patron Clare Smyth shared this with you?" I marveled, "She must have really liked you!"

"She liked me well enough, but two pairs of your panties and she'd have held down Ramsey for me to do if I'd asked," Itzel snickered, "She had this person she was interested in and she wanted it to go well. I made her promise not to use them on someone unwilling. She did offer you a personal dining experience that would be nearly unrivaled if you would please grace the restaurant where she works."

"Just so long as Gordon isn't there, I'd hate to be the cause of marital strife," I surmised.

"Unless you start digging into that, you most certainly will be," Itzel threatened.

"Chimalmat, today we dine like Queens!" the Empress exclaimed.

"Look around," I implored, "you eat what everyone eats."

"Empress, everyone has this incredible repast!" Chimalmat declared with her head spinning around staring, "Her people would tear the town apart to avenge her."

"Moreover, at the queen's slightest whim, your entire village and its infrastructure would be repaired and your own people would enjoy a much improved life," Meka stated with a devious grin.

The ladies dug into their meals and expressed their appreciation and just as everyone was finishing up, into the dining hall came two Amazons dragging a woman between them and two large women wearing the accoutrements of the local constables, "This is the woman who shot at Chalchiuhtlicue," she paused and proffered a weapon, "In addition this is the weapon she used. Heidi's analysis could easily prove that this woman was the one who was wielding it."

Chalchiuhtlicue gasped but remained silent.

"What is your name girl?" I asked.

"I need not share my name with a pleasure girl!" the prisoner exclaimed.

Windy had the girl upside down held by her ankle and readied her spike heel to penetrate the girls temple, "If you show disrespect to Queen Dolly Ann Gift-from-God Gordon again, you will never have the opportunity to redeem yourself. You are under judgment by the Amazonian!"

"Don't be stupid!" the Empress exclaimed, "That is the real, over one thousand year old Amazonian, she could kill everyone in the room before you could hit the floor!"