Pea Pod - Give Peas a Chance

"Are you kidding?" one of the ladies asked, "We've never had it this good!"

"Once you take occupancy of this place, I want only one thing from you ladies, other than for you to be happy..." I informed them.

"What is that Dolly?" they asked almost as one.

"I want you to update Beth with anything you can find out about your clients. Not to do them harm, but to help all of us," I told them, "If we can find key people who have been lost to us, it will aid in bringing Ka'an back to its fullness!"

"That is but little to provide Dolly, so it will be done with gladness," one of the girls supplied.

"Now, if I can find a man who wants to stay at the Tavern, how can we protect him?" I asked the assemblage.

Only stunned silence greeted my request.

Finally, I had to say, "Call Frances," whereupon Heidi connected us.

"Yes Dolly...?" she answered.

"Have your contacts been able to make our proposition to Ron Jeremy?" I asked.

"Yes, but unfortunately Ron isn't ready worried about his age yet he is only sixty and his career is going well at this time," she answered, "However, I do have a line on Herbert Streicher and he's quite willing to begin a new career here on Ka'an."

"Who the hell is Herbert Streicher?" I asked.

"Oh, you might better know him by his stage name, Harry Reems," she informed me.

"As in 'Deep Throat', Harry Reems...?" I further inquired.

"One in the same," she agreed.

"Make the deal," I told her, "Have him brought through the portal and deliver him via Intercontinental jump here at the Tavern."

"Will do, Dolly. You should see him in an hour or two," she ended.

"Thank you, honey. Great work!" I told her.

"I can't wait to see the girl's faces when they meet him!" Frances added, "I'll be jumping in with him. I'm going to pick him up now. Ta-Ta."

"Okay, now will some of you help me with a plan to protect your new whorehouse stud?" I asked once again.

"We need an area which can be self-supporting with its own backup power plant and heavily reinforced locking doors and an emergency escape tunnel," one technician proposed.

"It will need a huge supply of Life Paste, its own food preparation facilities," another decided.

"We must supply it with an uninterruptable communications system so that help can be called for," another supplied.

"Well, if you girls have finished lunch, go ahead and get started," I authorized. "But before you girls go..." I teased and added, "Heidi, can you display a hologram or just an image of Harry?"

Heidi played a short video of Harry stuffing Linda Lovelace with meat. Fifteen girls fainted and dozens took off as though shot from a canon to busily get started on the work at hand, leaving the rest of us to snuggle with the fifteen until they came around.

The girl I lay with mumbled, "This is going to be a very popular Tavern!"

Once she'd gotten back to work, I looked up Chimalmat, "Do you approve of your proposed employee/house guest?"

"I'm just glad to be as big a girl as I am," she stated, "That guy would split Xtah in half!"

"Well, when you're looking for man whores I go for the ones with a reputation," I stated.

"I have no doubt it was well earned," she agreed.

"It does appear that we're going to need another Pea Pod though," I mused.

"One was just located not far from the one occupied by the native and I am assured there are no mutated Pea Pods in the area," Windy told me and by popping out of stealth, nearly caused sphincter failure for Chimalmat.

Heidi was asked to use her cutting beam to help create an escape tunnel for the new extension to the Tavern, so she cut a six foot wide tunnel, ten feet deep, and a quarter mile long. She was asked to melt a rock face from a nearby cliff to run into dirt forms which were used to create the top of the tunnels, to be placed four feet into the ground on top of the tunnel creating an eight foot tall closed form whereupon she licked the top with a reduced power to melt the roofing stones together. It would take days to cool enough for the tunnel to be traversable.

Tractors were used to fill dirt in overtop of it and smooth out the pasture it was dug through.

Before the backfilling began though, Harry boomed in.

I made my way to where we were parking the Intercontinental transports and Frances came running towards me squealing, "Dolly...!" With her arms outstretched.

I hugged her back and while that was happening, Harry walked up and stood waiting with a grin, "Greetings Mr. Streicher, I'm glad to meet you."

"I would recognize you anywhere Queen Dolly, and believe me I am very glad to meet you too," he replied.

"Has Frances told you the setup here?" I inquired.

"Well, I can't claim I was listening beyond where she told me I could be cured and made young again," he admitted.

"That is definitely true," I nodded, "After that though, what would you say to a target rich environment where you would be treated like a king and surrounded by women who want nothing more from you than a semen injection?"

"Do I get time off? You know, I like to fish. I'm also a Jai alai player, when I can find someone for a match," he asked.

"Shure, but I can't guarantee you won't be asked for sex while participating in some of those activities. You are at your leisure to refuse the proposals," I explained, "I can introduce you to the planet's top Jai alai player if you'd like."

"Wow I'd be honored," he said.

Windy popped in behind him and strolled into his view. "I'm happy to meet you Harry," she stated as she offered him her hand.

"You can't mean this gorgeous little lady?" he said kissing her hand.

"Harry, meet Windy Gordon, my wife and the Amazonian, head of security forces for the planet Ka'an, and undefeated Jai alai champion," I introduced with a smile.

"Wait... didn't I see you on some of those shows as Dolly's body guard? The one where three armed FBI agents wound up in their shorts tied up on the floor before they could draw their guns?" he asked.

"Ah... yes, they felt I wasn't sufficient to protect Dolly and decided to demonstrate that I wasn't adequate," she blushingly replied.

"You sure proved them wrong," he laughed, "I heard one of those guys quit the FBI that same day."

"Some men are not able to maintain their self-confidence when a woman proves herself superior," she informed him.

"Well, believe me, I know when not to try and measure certain things against others," he said with a smile, "Remember, I used to do movies with John Holms."

"I think we might be able to find a few non amazons with which to play Jai alai. They may wish to claim you as a prize if they win or be claimed as prizes should they lose though," I warned.

"Those are the kind of odds that would break Vegas!" he laughed, "I'm getting the impression that you've got quite a load of horny women here."

"Most of them haven't been stuffed with man meat for over five hundred years," I admitted.

"So... you're talking massively grateful horny women..."

"Oh, they'd give you every possession they own for a boff... even if they don't orgasm," I agreed.

"I could never do that," he insisted, "But a small nugget of gold and I'd be a happy camper."

"Oh, I could never allow you to accept so small a compensation," I denied, "I think probably fifty Dollies would be ample though. Gold here doesn't mean all that much. If you'd like I can have your living quarters, gold plated and see that all of your eating utensils are solid gold. I could even have a wheelbarrow full dumped near your bed if you like."

"Damn... the wheelbarrow full would be kind of cool, just for fun. I'll forego the rest though," he laughed, "I might want some spending baubles back earth side should I want to visit."

"Well, you won't look like you do now and you're not to use the name Harry Reems if you do," I warned, "On earth, Harry Reems died. Don't worry I have a whole team who are responsible for creating new identities so when you need a vacation, have them provide one for you."

"Dolly, I'm sorry to interrupt," Heidi broke in, "Harry's escape tunnel is ready for back filling. I have sealed the top so that it will not fill with ground water."

"I love talking boobs!" Harry exclaimed laughing heartily.

"Harry, meet Heidi Enterprise, my exploration vessel and girl Friday."

"I'm happy to meet you Harry," Heidi replied from Jiggles.

"I take it there's a radio in your brassiere and I'm speaking to someone aboard a ship somewhere?" he assumed.

Heidi moved herself back to her original landing point now that she wasn't required to be in a position to use her cutting beam, "The large antigravity craft settling near where you stand is me."

"Heidi is the first AI to achieve sentience," I informed him to bring him up to speed.

"You mean like Data, only much larger?" he surmised.

"Yes, I suppose, but without the emotional drawbacks," I added.

"I am pleased to meet you Heidi," he said speaking into my chest, "A least I know one girl on this planet I don't have to worry about having sex with!"

"Two," I quickly corrected.

"Who is the other?" he asked innocently.

"My mother is a devout lesbian," Heidi helpfully offered.

"Damn, there's a bigger anti-gravity ship running around?"

I snorted, "No, I'm her mother."

"Damn... I was hoping for a release of tension, I'm sporting wood that I haven't had in some time," he admitted.

"Oh, hell let's see that you get that release you'd like," I insisted, "Call Nikaj. Nikaj, I have a very horny man complaining about a painful case of wood and a big boob fetish who needs help immediately. Could you come to his aid please?"

Nikaj nearly blackened both her eyes running to meet up with us.

"Now that is an enthusiastic girl!" Harry stated affectionately.

"Nikaj, meet Harry Reems. He needs help with a pole that needs deflating. I know this is a difficult mission, but you're the girl to handle it," I told her as she stopped completely out of breath.

"Damn, are all the women on this planet beautiful..." he almost drooled.

"Mostly... Now if you wear this one out, I can call Mayahuel in to finish the job, but I would worry about your health afterwards," I suggested.

They slipped away aboard Heidi and I didn't see them again for almost an hour. "Dolly, I'm the luckiest whore on Ka'an!" Nikaj nearly screamed, "I'll be bow legged for life, but it was worth it."

"Damn, that girl could make massive money making pornos on earth," he complimented.

"I take it that you've decided to remain at the Tavern Nikaj?"

"As long as you will let Harry bone me once a month, I'll pay whatever you want for the job," she insisted.

"Did she just offer to whore for a month and is willing to pay in addition for the privilege?" Harry asked wide eyed.

"Don't worry I won't let her... unless you'd like to marry her? Bigamy is a way of life here on Ka'an. I have 22 wives myself," I admitted.

"Damn..." he whispered.

"Oh, I haven't actually heard that you've accepted the job yet?" I realized.

"Who the fuck would turn this down?" he declared, "If I don't take this job, I'll be dead in a month!"

"In that case, this is where we say goodbye for now. I'll see you in five days," I waved as an amazon snatched him up and sped off to the Pea Pod waiting hungrily for him.

"Damn, I can't wait for that shlong to pop out full of randiness!" she drooled.

"Frances, awesome job girl," I congratulated her with a hug.

"I am expecting a big compensation when he staggers out of that Pea Pod," she insisted, "Until then I insist on some breast serum because I earned it."

"Shoot girl, you could have had a set like these when you took your TG trip," I insisted, "Why do you need a bigger set now?"

"In case you hadn't noticed, there's stiff competition here," she told me, "I mean the competition for something stiff is huge!"

"So how big do you want to go?"

"I'm thinking F cups," she stated.

"That's a lot of boobage girl. Are you sure?"

"I want to stand out and I've fallen in love with Jiggles, so yes pump me up!" she decided.

"Well if anybody deserves a boon, I'd say it's you... but aren't you worried about being taken seriously on earth?" I asked

"What could be better? If they underestimate me, I can take them down before they know what hit them," she figured.

"Okay, test subject number three..." I agreed.

The robots trundled out one with the flytrap, one with injection and clothing.

Frances made no sound with the shot but the squeal I heard when she jumped up to a DD cup was ear piercing. However, when she didn't get more growth she asked, "Okay, why did they stop?"

"Your body doesn't have enough protein and fat reserves to make them that big instantly," Heidi stated, "Go eat some fattening and high protein food and give them a chance."

"Oh, gotcha," she took off to look up food.

"You might want to put a bra and a top on first...?" I suggested.

"Oops," she giggled.

I headed off to supervise the backfill of the tunnel and check on some of the other upgrades.

Once everything we could do was ready, we headed in to dinner, "Whoa, Frances, have you been eating this whole time..."

Frances was sitting at a table with a pile of empty dishes a distended stomach and looking sleepy, "Food attack..." she mumbled and belched.

"Can we have her carted off stripped and given something fuzzy to snuggle?" I asked no one in particular.

One of the amazons carted off the nearly comatose Frances.

"Call Itzel... Hey girl, did Frances leave anything for the rest of us?" I asked.

"Have no fear Dolly. She didn't even make a dent in my supplies," Itzel replied, "Take a seat and it'll be right out."

"Thanks mom," I teased.

"Somebody let the cat out of the bag, eh?" she decided.

"It had to happen sooner or later," I admitted.

"You alright...?" she asked.

"I could use a good snogging, but other than that I'm fine," I admitted.

"When couldn't you use a good snogging?" she asked with humor in her voice.

"Um... I think it was a Thursday..." I admitted.

Itzel came staggering out from the kitchen laughing so hard she could barely walk, stumbled over and hugged me hard, "You're so damn precious it's a joy to do for you!"

"And I'm damn good at getting someone to snog me too!" I admitted groping her bottom.

"At least you didn't do it by remote this time," she said, sticking her tongue down my throat and groping me back. A few seconds later, she slapped my ass and declared, "This can wait a couple hours. We have hungry girls to feed!" She stood up and disappeared into the kitchen again.

Moments later, her crew of servers delivered deer lasagna with fiddle head fern shoots in garlic and butter.

"Oh momma, you know how to cook!" Chalchiuhtlicue exclaimed. "Dolly, you have too many wives... you should share one with our town."

"You're forgetting that Itzel is actually the High Priestesses father..." I reminded her.

"Damn... it's nepotism I tell you!" she teased.

"This from the daughter of the Empress..." I reminded her.

"Okay... but can I at least visit?" she begged.

"Only on nights you plan on having the energy to join us in the Royal boudoir afterwards," I offered as I dug into my lasagna.

"I didn't know there would be a performance requirement... but okay I agree. I'll suffer through four hours of ultimate pleasure just to get Itzel's cooking," she sighed.

"Poor baby..." Chimalmat teased her.

"It's a sacrifice, but someone has to do it," Chalchiuhtlicue sighed, "I might as well fall on my sword as another."

"That's going into this week's production, for sure!" I decided making sure that Heidi marked it for the producer to review.

"So you think that this would be interesting to your fans?" she asked as she grinned.

"I don't consider that I have fans," I clearly stated.

"Damn, you have more fans than Angelina Jolie! She was just bitching about you on a recent Leno's garage... something about alien technology," my friendly transport and media expert espoused. "There have been three news stories today wondering where the Queen is and what you might be doing."

"They're probably gossip shows," I assumed.

"CNN, CBS, and FOX," Heidi supplied.

"Who is handling press releases to the earth media?" I asked.

"I believe that Akna has become Press Secretary for earth relations," Heidi supplied.

"Call Akna... Akna honey, I've been informed that news media has been wondering what I'm up to, so maybe we should give them something to chew on. Heidi can you put together something that shows me supervising the tunnel cut, feature yourself handsomely and include very little else. Akna tell them that I am supervising a civil project but can still be contacted and I'll be visiting Earth again in a couple days," I announced much to everyone's surprise including my own.

"All because they wondered what you were up to in the news?" Gwen asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Meka, you, and I will be going," I affirmed nodding my head.

"What's going on in that devious mind...?" Gwen wondered.

"She's going to drag you two to Cozumel and make sure the Paparazzi get plenty of exposure so that it wouldn't be unusual to see you wandering around the Getaway," Xtah informed them. "Sorry Dolly, but you did it and I might as well get some fun out of it."

I laughed and kissed her, "I was going to be annoyed with your stealing my thunder. Instead you'll be joining us!"

Her jaw dropped open and she made like a guppy for a few seconds, "I can see that I have no say in this, so I will be sure to be packed by the time we leave in the morning. Yes, I will have a revealing pink bikini in my luggage."

"Wow, somehow I feel we're only getting part of this conversation," Gwen stated to Meka, who nodded in agreement.

"Dolly turned her into a telepath this morning," she told her.

"I've got to follow her around more," Gwen realized.

"That way you wouldn't be surprised when you see Frances in bed tonight," Meka told her with a smile.

"I was trying to think of what to pack," I began, "but I realized that I don't have any clothes that I've worn twice."

"None of us need to pack, Dolly," Gwen snickered, "We all, have wardrobes full of clothes on earth and you can bet that Xtah will have plenty to choose from out of the selection."

"She'll be able to wear my bras and tops," Windy supplied, "You certainly expected that I would be joining you."

"Amazonian card, don't leave Ka'an without it," I jested.

"There is only one place anywhere that you can go without an amazon," Windy nodded.

"I know, I am glad you let me stop them from wiping my butt for me though," I teased which brought out a laugh from Gwen.

"They still complain about that too," Windy assured me.

"Well, then invite them to the orgy and they can lick it if they like," I joked.

"They will be most honored," she agreed with a smile.

"You know, I'd like to bring Chalchiuhtlicue with us, but I don't think she speaks English yet," I supposed while getting up to make a last tour around the compound.

"Are you kidding...? I started learning English the minute I found out about the Getaway," she exclaimed in English as she scurried to catch up.

"Okay, you're in the band," I told her, "Gwen, make up a suitable entourage for a queen with English speakers and any we have who speak Spanish. Make sure that we drag some of the medicine for hangover and anti-drunkenness along with plenty of Life Paste and maybe some sure fail condoms. See to it that everyone is vaccinated against diseases as well, including you."

"Damn, I hadn't thought about that, after a trip through the Pea Pod do I need to renew my vaccinations?" she asked.