Pea Pod - Give Peas a Chance

I winked at Windy, she winked back, and the brave spy disappeared from the restaurant.

"Deep fried Frog legs..." I snickered.

Chalchiuhtlicue clapped her hand, "I so understand what you meant now! He was fried in his own fat and served well done!"

Betty stated, "That was the scaredest man I have ever seen!"

"Wait until he makes his way back to the gate on Ka'an! The amazons will assure nothing happens to him. He will be arriving at the portal thinking he made it on his own, he will find he was escorted, and he will be shown what might have happened by Erica my ex-CIA agent. I expect he will be much humbled... but you never know with the French," I snickered.

"You are so much fun queen Dolly!" Betty squealed, "I like how you try to educate the buttheads but you give them the chance to grow. But, wait... Windy is still here with us..."

"That's the beauty of it. Windy has a twin on Ka'an," I snorted.

"She's an amazon too, I bet," Betty declared.

"Yes, she graduated Amazon training in record time," I admitted.

"How long did it take her?" she asked.

"Three days," Windy admitted.

"How long does it usually take?"

"Three years..." Windy replied.

"What was the previous record?" Betty wanted to know.

"One year, the record was mine," Windy blushingly replied. "I'm just glad that Dolly wasn't more interested in being an Amazon."

"Why is that Windy?" Betty innocently asked.

"Because she would put Sam and me to shame," Windy declared. "She's already achieved things that neither Sam, nor I can."

"Yes, but I still can't run worth a damn!" I admitted.

"Only because you think you are running, if you thought that you were moving from this place from that you would out distance both of us without the black eyes," Windy admitted.

"Now you tell me this...?" I asked.

"Dolly, I disseminate information to you slowly as I believe you are ready to handle it," she claimed. "Samantha had been a warrior for years. She was ready to handle what to most people are superpowers since she was already kind of a superhero. Not to say you weren't a superhero, but your powers are more of the heart than Sam's are."

"Ooh good save," Betty snickered.

"Does that mean I can levitate too?" I asked.

"I can levitate only a few inches and I can prevent a quick decent," she stated, "However, I cannot generate a force field, nor can I use The Voice. What you can do, no one can know until you do it. Tossing that cartel goon into the ocean I might be able to match, but not one handed."

About then a short, brunette, voluptuous woman walked up and past our security guards, who didn't even bother to challenge her as she strolled past them. She came up to me and stated, "Queen Dolly, I present myself as a representative of the Mexican government. My name is Maria Gonzalez. I was told that you are expecting me."

"We were informed that a Maria Gonzalez from the Mexican government would be around to see us. No mention about what her position in said government is or what she would want of us when she arrived," I replied with a smile. "I invite you to sit and inform us as well as share in our repast."

"I do not accept graft," she flatly stated.

"Oh, if I was offering graft, I would try to give you a half a ton of solid gold," I admitted, "However, I do not offer graft I only offer to share our meal with you."

"Your meal would cost a fortune here in Mexico," she challenged.

"On Ka'an, it would be simply the benefit accepted by all, whores, technicians, and me," I replied.

"Your technicians and whores are fed by a Cordon Bleu trained chef..." she stated as if she did not believe me.

"Ask the hotel manager or his chef who trained with my wife Itzel, who cooks for us," I challenged her.

She marched off to the kitchen and asked.

He replied, "Itzel...? The finest chef to ever graduate from Cordon Bleu! Her dishes would often surpass even my own! You are telling me that Queen Dolly is her wife! S'ocre Bleu her palate must be amazing! Chefs, we must redo everything! Zees women are used to being given their repast from Itzel!"

"Vie are zoo screwed..." one chef declared as he tossed what he was preparing into the rubbish can.

When she returned to us, she seated herself near me and informed me, "Apparently your wife intimidates one of the finest chefs in Mexico."

"All of the people who support the monarchy are special. You are seated with the Priestess of Ka'an, the Amazonian, the Queen, and a famous Roller Derby star. What better company could one ask for?" I asked her.

She diplomatically made no reply. However, she did inform us, "It may take a little longer for your food to arrive. When I informed the chef that your wife is Itzel, he nearly shit himself and made the other chefs throw away everything they had so far prepared"

"Yes, my father/mother in law is an awesome chef," I agreed with a wink to Meka, "She is currently aboard my Antigravity Exploration vessel cooking for my whores and technicians."

"You openly admit to having whores...?" she wondered.

"Honey, I even have man whores that even you would consider paying for a good fuck!" I told her.

"I would never pay a man for sex!" she flatly stated.

"Okay, maybe not. Have you ever seen Deep Throat?" I asked.

"Sure, who hasn't?" she replied.

"Do you remember Harry Reems?" I asked.

"The man who was hung like a donkey...? Of course, I remember him!"

"I can have him clean your pipes. He is 18 years old again," I teased. "That is confidential information though."

"I heard that he died..." she replied.

"We just moved him and cured his disease. We don't want it to become general knowledge that we can cure most diseases including old age. We'd be buried in requests for cures and what not. We offer a deal to certain citizens with something we need," I explained.

"You needed a porn star?" she stated with incredulity.

"I have a planet full of women and less than one hundred men... who would you choose to bring over... a monk?" I challenged. "We heard that Harry had a life threatening disease and we knew how much he enjoyed sex. To me it seemed a match made in Ka'an."

"A match made in Ka'an?" Maria wondered.

"In Mayan, Ka'an means heaven," I laughed.

"My Mayan is a little rusty," she admitted.

"That's a great idea and that would be a great bit of fun! Thanks Maria!"

"You've lost me entirely," she replied.

"Can you set us up with some Mayan archeologists? It would be a hoot to help them figure out some of the Mayan history that was lost," I told her.

"We may be able to convince Martha Cuevas to speak with you if she is not too busy working on the burial site at Palenque," Maria informed us. "It may take some time for her to travel here. It is over 200 miles and if she flies it will take over five hours for her to get here."

Lucky for us a Ka'anian strolled towards us carrying a package and the guards stopped her, "She's okay! I was expecting her."

The men let her through and she came trotting directly to me, "Your package Queen Dolly." She started to turn so that she could go back to Reno and I stopped her.

"How would you like to make a quick side trip for me? I'd like you to pick someone up for me at Palenque and ferry her here please," I asked her.

"I am at the Queen's beck and call. Nothing would give me more pleasure than to fetch someone from Palenque for you," she replied.

"There is an archaeologist woman there named Martha Cuevas, but we must wait and see if Maria can get her to take a break for a visit," I told her.

"It may take some time for me to contact her," Maria hedged.

"Heidi, please put me through to Martha Cuevas in Palenque," I requested.

"This is Martha Cuevas..." she answered, although it was in Spanish and Heidi translated.

I looked over to Maria and told her, "Go ahead and speak Maria, Heidi will be certain she hears you."

"Martha Cuevas, this is Maria Gonzalez of the Federales. I am sitting with the Queen of Ka'an and she just requested to meet with a Mayan Archaeologist and possibly answer some of your biggest questions. I am told that the Amazonian is old enough to have been on Earth when many of your temples were built. Would you have time to meet with them if say you could be delivered here in..." she paused so that my Intercontinental transport pilot could supply a number.

"Fifteen minutes..." she offered.

"There and back here in fifteen minutes...?" Maria challenged.

"Yes, I added extra time so I would be able to find her," she told Maria.

"I can't even have an F-5E there and back in fifteen minutes at supersonic speeds and all afterburners on!" she challenged.

"It's a damn good thing we aren't sending F-5E..." I admitted.

"How long will it take to get to Palenque?" she asked.

"A minute and a half," she answered.

"Damn... my boss is going to order me to attempt to acquire that technology. I know that you are not going to allow us to have it, so I will fail in my mission before I start it," she moaned.

"We have already given one of these to the US government, so I see no reason why you cannot acquire one. Although they will not be the newest models and if you try to arm them, you will only fly into your own ammunition. Reverse engineering them will also not be possible, as you do not know certain basic principles which are required yet," I answered.

"And you, an ex-earthman do know these principles?" she inquired.

"With my Ka'anian enhanced brain with my Ka'anian enhanced physiology, yes I can grok the principals that are necessary. I can also assure you that it will be a while before your smartest scientists will begin to," I assured her.

"Are you confirming that human DNA was enhanced by Ka'anian DNA...?" she asked.

"Oh, hell yes...! Horny Ka'anian males would come to earth, drag earth women back to Kùutsmil and the Getaway, where they would wind up pregnant with half Ka'anian children," I admitted.

"I don't care if I have to crawl to Cozumel on my hands and knees with my nipples dragging on gravel. I am going to visit with these women!" she exclaimed.

"That won't be necessary Dr. Cuevas, you should see my emissary before you can be packed and ready for your visit," I informed her.

My girl was starting to leave but I stood and grabbed her shoulder, spun her around and planted a kiss on her yielding mouth, "Thank you so much. Hurry back."

She lit out of there as if her ass was on fire, "Your pilot is on her way Martha. I'll see you soon, goodbye."

"Where can I get one of those?" Maria asked.

"You can buy brassieres all over the place," I assured her.

"Where do I get one with a built in Cell Phone?" she clarified.

"I wouldn't know. I have a built in Heidi. Hologram yourself Heidi," I asked.

"That is just not possible..." she shrieked.

"Hello Maria, my name is Heidi Enterprise," Heidi informed her through all of our bras.

"What are you?" Maria asked.

"I am a planetary exploration vessel and the first sentient AI on two worlds," she claimed.

"How many wheels do you have?"

"Wheels... I don' need no stinking wheels," she replied in a Mexican accent.

"Heidi is an Antigravity hovercraft," I stated.

"Damn... I bet she's faster than an F-5E too," Maria assumed.

"The F-5E would see me at the starting line, and that would be the last he would see," Heidi admitted.

"Wouldn't that flatten your passengers?"

"Antigravity... it means that I can control gravity and inertia, so those who are aboard feel nothing as I accelerate," Heidi informed her.

"I feel like a cave woman..." she exclaimed.

"Well if you didn't with Heidi, I could have introduced you to my Starship," I admitted. That proved too much for Maria and she fainted.

The Hotel Manager was there in a flash with smelling salts for the unconscious woman.

"I am so glad that you have joined us Mr. Manager!" I exclaimed.

"I was only a call away Queen Dolly," he declared.

After he revived Maria, I asked him to remain. "The Presidente InterContinental Cozumel and you its manager, have been so accommodating to us we decided to present the hotel with this..." unwrapping the statue, I held it up, "Solid gold, over one thousand year old, statue of Itzamna, the god founder of the Maya culture."

"The value... it is worth more than the whole resort!" he exclaimed.

"We wish to express our gratitude for your excellent service. I figured that you could place it into a case in the lobby. It should be one of the most significant Mayan artifacts that can be viewed in Mexico," I informed him.

Maria was doing her groper impression, and then finally said, "You can't give that to a hotel..."

"There's a Mexican law about giving stuff away?" I asked with incredulity.

"Mayan artifacts are expressly the property of the Mexican government," she claimed.

"Oh good, then that doesn't apply," I stated.

"You just said it was a Mayan artifact..." she claimed.

"Well it is actually a Ka'anian artifact gifted to a Mexican Hotel which was created in the Mayan tradition," I explained. "If you carbon date that artifact, you will discover that it predates Mayan civilization!"

"Damn..." Maria breathed.

"It proves that the Mayans were a product of their contact with Ka'an," I indicated.

"Dr. Garcia will be beside herself just knowing that this exists!" Maria swore. "I am so glad that I had the opportunity to invite her to meet you!"

"Are you then agreeing that this artifact is the property of the hotel?" the Manager asked.

"I am not qualified to make that determination however, a person who is, will be joining us shortly," Maria answered appearing as if she was drowning without a floatation device.

"I personally guarantee that you may keep my gift. Should the government decide that is not proper, they shall never receive another thing from Ka'an," I promised.

"In that case, I guarantee the same thing. The Mexican government wishes only the most peaceful and amical relations with Ka'an," Maria claimed.

"Fuck me..." Betty breathed, "Talk about throwing your weight around!"

"I have very specific directives from the leaders of our government," Maria admitted, "I even have the authority to overrule the governor."

"So sending a mole from a drug cartel wasn't what the government had planned?" I asked trying to put Maria on the defensive.

"I should have thought the twenty mm bullets ripping through his body would have been an indication," she claimed.

"I figured that I had handled the situation quite effectively. He would never be able to return to his job and the cartel would have ended him for his failure. You could have saved a bunch of bullets and JP5 if you had let them grab him," I rationalized.

"That may be so. We are certain that he will not be a problem anymore, nor his immediate support people as they are at the bottom of the Caribbean Sea. We also have saved the cost of a lengthy trial," Maria assured me.

At this point a middle aged woman approached the roped off area, accompanied by my messenger. The guards let them both through without question.

"Queen Dolly, may I present Dr. Martha Cuevas," my messenger stated.

I stood and hugged the messenger and told her, "Please avail your, self of the luxury of the Presidential Suite until I need to send this one home."

I turned to the archaeologist and stated, "Welcome Dr. Martha Cuevas. I felt that your joining us would be a welcome diversion. Would you care to meet one who was alive when Ka'an last visited earth?"

"You have someone who was alive when the Classic Mayan civilization was born?" she breathed with her hand to her chest.

"Not only was I alive, I was here," Windy claimed. "I am the Amazonian of Ka'an!"

The doctor swooned and we had to bring her back around, "I dreamed that I met an Amazon from the birth of the Mayan culture..."

"You did and then you fainted like a sissy girl," I claimed, trying to challenge her to stay aware. "My wife, Ixchel still lives and is currently with child."

"What the fuck? You claim that not only is Ixchel alive, but that she is currently with child... Who is the father?" she insisted.

"I am," I claimed.

That's when I thought we'd lose her again...

"Wait... Queen of Ka'an... you were male until changed by the Pea Pods of forever..." she stated with a faraway look in her eyes.

"Okay, so you've been listening to the news..." I responded.

"No, it is carved in the stones of Chichen Itza," she replied.

"You are shitting me...?" I responded.

"I can show it to you if you like," the Doctor replied.

"Oh, I believe you, it's just somewhat of a shock to discover that I am actually, 'The One'," I admitted.

"You are Dolly... The One! Oh my goddess, oh my goddess, oh my goddess!" she chanted.

"What is with you?" I asked.

"You were forecast over one thousand years ago. You are a geologist. You were once male. You were the love of the life of the Priestess of Ka'an and you will be the greatest queen of all time!" she squeaked as a crescendo.

"How the hell do you know this?" I asked.

"It was foretold on the walls of the temple. You, Queen Dolly will bring Heaven back from the brink and forge a stronger Heaven than has ever existed before! You will be loved by two worlds and become the ideal of the feminine image!" she erupted growing higher pitched as she spoke. "I am in the presence of the gift from god!"

She fell to her knees and started chanting, which weirded me out totally.

I pulled her to her feet and stuck my tongue as far down her neck as I could and she responded by shrieking, "I am blessed by the Goddess!" which of course, she was.

"What a time to be alive! Maria, do you have any concept of who you are hanging with?" the doctor stated.

"Certainly, I am dining with the Queen of Ka'an," she assured the doctor.

"Fool! You are dining with the greatest Queen of Ka'an of all time!" the doctor yelled at her. "She will bring forth a Ka'an that is greater than has ever existed before! The people of our two planets will worship her as a goddess!" she exclaimed a little more exuberantly than with which I was comfortable.

"Loosen up doc. I'm just a regular geologist!" I claimed.

"Bullshit!" coughed pretty much everyone in the room.

Can we visit one of the old sites together tomorrow," the doctor asked. "I would dearly love some insights as to why they exist."

"Heidi, please arrange for Ixchel to visit us tomorrow. I believe that she would be more familiar with her temple than anyone on the earth," I asked.

Ixchel answered with, "Dolly... of course I will visit you and my temple on earth. I won't be able to stay long."

"That's okay, I have an archaeologist who will be very interested in what you have to tell her," I grinned broadly knowing that the doctor would chew her own arm off to be there.

"I am afraid that I have nowhere to stay and I didn't even bring a change of clothing..." she disclosed. "Not to mention, I could never afford this hotel..."

I looked at the hotel manager and he immediately stated, "I will have a room assigned to you, near the Presidential Suite before you finish your meal! The room will be comped in gratitude to the government of Ka'an for its gift."

"Gift...?" Martha asked.

The manager handed the statue to Martha to examine.

"I have never viewed such a magnificent statue of Itzamna. Has this been carbon dated?" she excitedly asked.

"Over one thousand Ka'anian years old..." I supplied. "1158 earth years if you do the math."

"That predates the Classic Maya which is determined to be from 1250AD, but it is well within the Pre-Classic period. They wouldn't have been producing artifacts this detailed, although we have little of the gold work that has survived. That is a magnificent piece. I would dearly love the opportunity to document and record its image for our studies if I may?" she asked.