Pea Pod - Give Peas a Chance

"You may certainly document and inspect it whenever you wish, as long as you know that it belongs to the hotel," he offered. "I am concerned that I might not be able to protect it, even between here and the hotel safe."

"You have nothing to fear," I assured him, "There will be an amazon accompanying you and should Ka'an learn of its theft, we will send a task force to recover it... headed by her." I pointed at Windy.

Maria gasped, "I have heard tales..."

"I have seen no amazons other than Windy since you have arrived," he worried.

"Girls...?" I said.

Twelve women with golden armbands bracelets, greaves, headbands, and short swords, "You don't see them because they don't want you to." all twelve were no longer there.

"Was that all of them?" the manager asked.

"No," I stated flatly.

"Did they all pass through customs?" Maria asked.

"Yes they passed through customs," I admitted.

"I am going to carefully not ask anything more," Maria diplomatically stated.

"That would be wise," I agreed.

Xtah finally interjected, "Windy, there may be a problem..."

"What is it Xtah," she inquired.

"There is someone else here that is not an amazon but is also not visible," she informed her, "I get a male who is wearing some high tech gear... he's from the US and I feel he is over there," she pointed.

There was nothing but empty space between us and where she pointed but immediately a squirming shimmer appeared between two amazons which slowly resolved into a man as whatever he was wearing was stripped from him, "Let me go!"

A streak near me told me that Windy was in full Amazon mode, I was quickly looking, at a man wearing a black leotard hanging upside down, "I think you have annoyed the Amazonian... Therefore, I would suggest that you tell me who you are, and why you are spying on us."

"My name is Bud," he stated.

"TELL ME YOUR NAME AND WHY YOU WERE SPYING ON ME!" I angrily ordered.

"My name is Buddy Wainwright, I work for the CIA, and I was ordered to test out this stealth suit against the amazons. Secondary to that I was to ensure your safety from any other threats. If possible I was to not let anyone know I was here and if caught tell nothing about my mission," he replied though he appeared to be struggling against telling in full what his mission was.

"Wow is he pissed that he said all of that!" Xtah informed us.

"Let me see his suit, please," I asked.

The suit was handed to me so I said, "Heidi, scan this thing and present us with a way to detect it without fail."

"Done Dolly, I will be able to detect anyone wearing a suit like that near you at any time. You need not worry that invisible agents are about," Heidi stated with authority.

"Thank you dear," I told her. Then I turned to Windy and the amazons and said, "Give him his suit back and set him loose in the pool outside..."

"Ah... as a representative of the Mexican government, I'd like our people to have a chance at speaking with Buddy before he is released," she asked.

"Okay, take the suit to Chief Wild Eagle. Hold Buddy for the Mexican authorities," I determined.

"I feel certain that our people will want to inspect that suit..." Maria informed me.

"Yes, but my Amazons captured that agent. He did not have malignant intents. The technology in that suit is probably cutting edge for earth and cost the Americans a butt load of money. Since you wouldn't even know it existed without us, I leave more information concerning it to your diplomatic resources," I determined.

"By the way, who is Chief Wild Eagle?" Maria asked.

"Oh, the FBI has a team here too," I filled her in, "We don't know his real name. He and his team were so easy to spot that we compared them to the F-Troop TV show and I nicknamed him Chief Wild Eagle after the Chief of the incompetent Indian tribe."

"You are so mean... But now I think you're my hero," she laughed, "The FBI are, so full of themselves sometime it's good to see them have their asses handed to them."

The servers came and asked if we needed refills for our drinks, brought us fresh bread and water, "Your meals will be ready soon. I am so glad that you appeared to have much business to conduct that would keep you from noticing how long it has taken to prepare them."

"During our wait, I sent for an Archaeologist who was in Palenque and she is sitting over there, also waiting for dinner," I told her.

She blushed but repeated her apology and quickly sped into the kitchen.

The hotel manager returned from locking up the statue and punched into the kitchen. A few moments later, he came back to us and said, "The chef was so intimidated that you are always fed by Itzel that he is personally making sure that everything prepared will be perfect."

"Where's Gordon Ramsey when I need him..." I teased.

"I must go relay that sentiment. It will make my chef insane!" he snickered as he reentered the kitchen.

There was a strangled roar from the kitchen followed by some yelling. Appetizers started leaving the kitchen to be deposited in front of us, "Shrimp Quesadillas, sautéed shrimp with Chihuahua cheese and cream. Please enjoy..."

"So, Martha, are you excited to go to San Gervasio tomorrow with the woman it was built to honor?" I asked.

"As a geologist the same opportunity for you would be a time travel trip to the birth of the earth," she replied as a comparison. "The discoveries Palenque are very significant and I am quite happy to research them, but this opportunity is too good to pass up."

We were finished with the appetizer and the storm in the kitchen hadn't ceased since the appetizers were delivered, "I expect to either hear, "Get out of Here!" from back there or the crack of a bull whip."

The manager disappeared and soon the entrees were being delivered and the chef himself followed them out, "My apologies ladies. The kitchen staff has allowed standards to degrade and I was forced to have them make the dishes over until they could perform well. I blame myself for not maintaining my staff to perfection."

"Well, maybe you'll get an opportunity to visit with Itzel aboard my antigravity exploration vessel and sample some of her dishes. She does an awesome ostrich omelet," I told him.

"She prepared an ostrich omelet for you...?" he looked astonished.

"No, she prepared almost 300 ostrich omelets for our crew and the staff of the Getaway," I revised. "I insist that everyone who works with and for me, eat what I eat."

He slapped his forehead and exclaimed, "She is running a restaurant and cooking with the same flair she was when at the school... I am so glad she is practicing her skills on another planet! She would wind up with a restaurant chain of her own here on earth."

"She has one on Ka'an. She has a restaurant in Dollyville, one in the Getaway, one in a whorehouse tavern and the one aboard the Queens flagship," I filled him in.

"I would love to see her in my kitchen making my chefs' feel inadequate!" he declared.

"Done...!" I exclaimed.

"Call Itzel," I stated.

"What is it Dolly?" she replied.

"I have Sergio Turriza standing in front of me and he stated that he wished he had you cooking in his kitchen to show his other chefs how it is done. Can you drag a couple of your chefs with you and visit me here tomorrow?"

"Hey, chef Turriza...! Sure, I'll be there for breakfast," she affirmed to the white as a sheet chef.

"Bring some special Ka'anian fare with you hon. There should be a couple of hundred guests."

"Mr. Hotel manager, first since, you're almost family I think I should know your name, and second tomorrow morning, breakfast is on Ka'an for all of the hotel guests," I decided.

"My name is Rafael Micha and I thank you for your generosity," he stated looking almost as if he wanted to tear up.

"After we do it, you can have it put in the newspapers if you like," I offered.

"If people find out that you are here, we will be mobbed," he stated wide eyed.

"I'm not hiding. Apparently many people know that I'm here already," I told him.

"If it is your wish, we will not try to keep the fact that you are here quiet," he told me.

I dug into my Rib Eye Tacos and found them to be quite good, much to the relief of the chef. I doubt that Rafael even noticed. He was on the telephone arranging security for the next few days. Not for us, but for the rest of the hotel and guests. I was about to become even more unpopular with him.

"Maria, I will need your help to get my girls and their produce through customs quickly tomorrow," I asked.

"Am I invited to breakfast too?" she cleverly asked.

"Of course Maria, I want to see the look on your face when you eat Zager Fish sushi!" I admitted with a wolfish grin.

"What the hell is a Zager Fish?" Maria inquired.

"Windy...?" I prompted.

"Rather like a shark, but twenty feet long with claws, tentacles, and poisonous spines," she supplied.

"Right... eating Zager Fish good, swimming with Zager Fish suicide," she determined.

"My sentiments exactly," I agreed, "But damn tasty!"

"The chef will be beside himself," Rafael exclaimed, "Many times he wished to sample the fair of Ka'an and to have Itzel herself prepare it... nirvana!"

"No sleep for him tonight..." I decided.

"So, Rafael, where does a girl find some good rock n roll and a night club around here?" I asked.

"How about getting wasted away again in Margaritaville, Cozumel?" he suggested. "A friend runs the place and I can assure that you will be treated like a queen!"

"Just as long as my girls are treated like total horny sluts I don't mind being treated like a queen," I emphasized.

"Horny sluts are always welcome in Margaritaville... Jimmy will be sporting ironwood until you girls arrive," Rafael exclaimed with a snicker. In a sidelong to me he stated, "He will be of no use to anyone for three days after your ladies finish with him!"

"Ah the voice of experience..." I accused.

"Oh, I was let off easy. However, Jimmy is prettier and likely to believe he can handle multiple ladies at a time..." he stated with a sinister smile.

"He probably can... but we didn't bring ladies..."

The girls had to support him, he was laughing so hard.

"In my case I will have to disagree. But I know enough that the goddess of Cozumel will be supported in fertility tonight!" he declared.

"Oh... she's already knocked up! She was artificially inseminated from my sperm a while back," I assured him.

"I am certain she will glow with eternal beauty when I meet her," he supposed with chivalry.

"If you keep being all cute like that, I may have to do you myself!" I threatened.

He lost control of his nether muscles. I don't know if I've ever seen a man so frightened, "I was only joking Rafael, I'm a lesbian!"

"Please excuse me Señora," he stated as he bowed his head and stiffly walked away.

"That was mean Dolly," Chalchiuhtlicue accused.

Windy took umbrage, "Dolly was actually enamored with him, and tried to pay him a compliment."

Xtah reinforced this with, "I saw her intensions in her mind and she truly only wished to compliment."

"I apologize, Dolly. I find that I am a bit protective about Rafael," Chalchiuhtlicue admitted.

"Hey, I really like the guy too, why do you think I just gave him and his hotel half a million dollars' worth of gold, without calculating in the intrinsic historical value," I announced.

"I am going to go make certain his ego is intact," she assured me.

"Don't take long, we're going to be on our way to the limos in a few," I cautioned as she sped after Rafael.

After he was changed, she told him, "Honest she likes you as a friend and she didn't mean to frighten you..."

"I envisioned my smiling corpse," he admitted. "The first earthman fucked to death..."

"Believe me, if she decided to have sex with you, you would survive and write books about your experience. Ron Jeremy would be your Facebook follower..."

That made him actually laugh, "I was more concerned as to whether I could rebuff her advances to be with you..."

"You can always tell the queen you are not interested and she will not pursue you," she assured him.

"I've heard that the queen is irresistible..." he explained.

"When she is sexually stimulated, that is entirely true," she admitted. "I have seen it and it is a wondrous experience. It is nothing of which to be frightened."

"Are you interested in me as a partner, Chalchiuhtlicue?" he asked.

"Oh my god... you have no idea!" she almost screeched!

"I was wondering... I have had an adventurous spirit that tells me I should be seeking more," he admitted.

"The queen has already blessed our union, should we wish it," she admitted, "She has indicated though that Ka'an would be a better place for us than earth," Chalchiuhtlicue finished.

"Are you saying that I would be welcome on Ka'an... an alien?" he asked.

"Honey, you could meet Harry Reems, Johnny Cash, or June Carter-Cash, Dolly has been saving famous earth people for quite some time," she told him.

Right about then a hand constricted her throat and words were whispered in her ear, "That is confidential information... spill more and we will have to end him."

"Ah... that's all I can tell you now, but believe me, the wonders of Ka'an even astound me and the wonder that is our queen in unparalleled," she told him.

"Your queen amazes me more than you can believe," he admitted, "She has rebuilt a world in less than a year!"

"Dude, you don't even know the half of it. I cannot even share half of it with you, but if you wish to have the Priestess of Ka'an marry us, you will be told and you will not be expected to be faithful," Chalchiuhtlicue admitted. "You will not be force to be unfaithful either. In the domain of Ka'an jealousy is against the law."

"Wow... Dolly is a greater leader than I thought possible..." he breathed. "Chalchiuhtlicue, would you marry me, even knowing that I may love your queen more?"

"I would marry you while you were having sex with her!" she exclaimed. "Would you not wish to marry me, if I occasionally have sex with her...?"

"Umm..." he hedged.

"I wouldn't if you forbade it," she assured him, "Although think of your most amazing orgasm and multiply it by fifty and that is what it is to have an orgasm at Dolly's hands... I thought that I would orgasm myself inside out! Ever since then, I've become a gusher..."

"I thought it might be a onetime deal... Every time you orgasm is like that...?" he asked.

"I used to orgasm ever so slightly, now it seems that my whole body is involved and I used to be almost silent, now I scream like a banshee!"

"That is one of the things I cherish about you!" he told her.

"Dolly will never send you home with child, and if she could I believe that I would be the happiest man on your world. I have no objection to you occasionally having sex with our queen," he admitted. "Would you have any objection to me having sex with the queen?"

"She never would, but it would be such an honor to share you with her!" she enthused. "Where would we live?"

"I have a somewhat comfortable home here in Cozumel, but I feel that we should explore the possibilities," he proposed. "I am concerned though... you are so young and I am a middle aged man..."

Chalchiuhtlicue laughed and asked him, "How old would you say that I am?"

"Twenty nine," he claimed.

"I have seen two hundred fifty six Ka'anian years," she admitted.

"I will only be a brief blossom for you," he surmised. "Why would you wish a man who would be a burden on you in such a brief time in comparison to how long you will live?"

"Because you will live just as long," she smiled and hugged his arm.

"I am offered love and immortality? What happens if we fall out of love in say 100 years or so?" he wanted to know, "Immortality gone and I die in minutes...?"

"No silly," Chalchiuhtlicue assured him, "You go your way, I go my way, and you live a few thousand or more years. That is, if we move to Ka'an. I can tell you no more or Dolly will have you disappeared."

"We'd better hurry to catch up or the limousines will leave us behind," he urged taking her. Everyone met at the limos and we were all deposited at the front door of the Margaritaville. He held out his hand and helping her to her feet.

Who should rush out to greet us...? Jimmy Buffet came with a massive smile and hugged the stuffing out of Rafael, "Amigo, I cannot thank you enough for thinking of us to entertain your guests!"

"Actually Jimmy, it was the queens suggestion to visit you! I think she may be a fan..." he teased.

"You are looking to be wasted away again in Margaritaville?" he asked me.

"Actually, I plan to be the woman to blame..." I replied flippantly.

"In that case please follow me..." he tempted beckoning for me to follow into the building.

He snatched a pink t-shirt off the rack and handed it to me, "With my compliments queen Dolly."

The t-shirt was printed with black lettering saying, "The Woman To Blame."

So I sidled up to him and kissed him on the mouth. I never expected it but he immediately went into what appeared to be an epileptic fit! My amazons caught him before he hit the floor and he mumbled, "Does anyone have a cigarette?"

Rafael was almost peeing his pants, he was laughing so hard.

I was just stunned... I hadn't even used my tongue and he'd shot his load!

"What the fuck happened to me...? Oh, my... excuse me for a bit. I'll be right back," he sprinted upstairs.

His female employees were laughing amongst themselves.

"It's not nice to laugh at a man's response to a woman," I admonished them as I walked over. They didn't seem to be repentant to me so I snogged, the closest girl who went down as if she were hit by a baseball bat.

"Oh my god, Camila what happened!" the other girl exclaimed, but she had gotten too close to me and I snogged her too.

Jimmy was back quickly and exclaimed, "Girls this is no time for sleeping!"

"Sleeping...? Like hell Jimmy, I'm in love!" the first girl stated as she began to come around. "She kissed me and I gushed in my panties! I have never orgasmed that hard in my life!"

"I see our guest has been busy becoming popular..." he snickered, "Sofia, are you alright?"

"God Jimmy, some woman kissed me and I have ruined my outfit! Could you get her to do it again?" she replied.

"Oh honey, why don't you, follow us back to the hotel this evening, and join the orgy?" I asked her.

"You are having an orgy tonight?" Jimmy asked.

"Sorry dude, it's a lesbian orgy. I don't do men," I informed him.

"So... am I your first?" he teased.

"Actually, I believe you are the first male that the queen has cause to orgasm by direct contact," Windy informed him.

"We haven't been introduced..." Jimmy stated looking at Windy.

"Jimmy Buffet, may I introduce my wife, Windy Gordon, the Amazonian," I stressed the last, hoping he would understand.

To make sure, Rafael whispered in his ear.

"No kidding...? This little slip of a sexy woman is the baddest fighter on two planets?" he exclaimed.

That was when Windy decided to hand him his biggest bouncer... upside down.

"Damn..." he whispered and then he asked, "Fernando, are you alright?"

"How the hell did I get here Jimmy?" he asked.

"A security guard of our most especial guest was demonstrating that she is capable..." he assured the man. "You have made your point. Could you please allow Fernando to return to his duties?"

Fernando seemed to disappear. Windy blinked for a moment but was still standing where she started out.

"Damn..." Jimmy whispered again, "I bet the Federales are shitting themselves that you are here!"

"Not quite... but nearly," Maria replied.