Pea Pod - Give Peas a Chance

"Well, my wife has told me she expects me to stray occasionally... so it's not too serious a problem, she just doesn't want to know," he admitted.

"Are you staying at the Presidente InterContinental Cozumel?" I asked.

"Usually we stay in the Presidential suite... but I hear that isn't available right now," he snickered. "We have the suite just around the corner though."

"Well, Windy will appear to you when you should send her to meet the queen of Ka'an. Do you mind if we send her back shaven?" I proposed.

"Hell no...! I love how girl parts look!" he admitted.

"We've got something in common," I smiled. "I'm the worst peeping Thomasina... I even pull up my own skirts!"

He laughed at that and promised to arrange to have his wife meet with me.

"Well... I must go and be prepared for this evening's four hour lesbian orgy," I declared.

"Damn..." he breathed, "It almost makes me wish I was equipped to join in."

"That can be arranged..." I stated.

"Ah, I'll pass..." he quickly replied.

I stood up and stretched, not realizing how damn sexy it would look and the whole bar went so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Two seconds later there was a standing ovation from every male and most of the females in the bar, including Jimmy.

I was blushing so much Gwen grabbed my arm and kissed me passionately saying, "Now that's entertainment!" which garnered another round of applause.

As I undulated and jiggled my way to the exit there were two dozen cell phones taking video of the event, which is exactly for what I was hoping.

The Limo dumped me and those who had decided they'd gotten enough cock for the day back at the hotel, the desk manager jumped up to complain about my T-shirt and nearly shit himself when he saw the manager giving him the stink eye.

Jimmy followed the group and gave the guy a pair of hand signs and a t-shirt of his own, "Margaritaville."

He replied with, "Welcome back Mr. Buffet..."

"You have no idea how happy I am to be here!" he replied with a smirk.

"Very good sir..." he replied.

Jimmy rode the elevator with us and laughed his ass off when he saw me surfing the crowd to our suite. "I bet you've never been forced to have sex for four hours..." I called after him.

He yelled back, "You'd lose!"

Once I was perfumed, dressed, the girls had started their foreplay, Windy showed up at Jimmy's suite, and he sent the Mrs. to us.

She was dressed demurely and appeared as she expected to be presented to the queen of England, "I'm here for an audience with the queen...?"

The next thing she knew she was dressed in a baby doll, with a close shave to her privates, "What the fuck...?"

Then the panties of the baby doll I had removed from me started to affect her, "What is that smell...?"

"Follow me," said Gwen as she beckoned the overheating woman.

"It's getting stronger... oh it's so good!" she moaned.

"May I present the Queen of Ka'an," Gwen announced.

I will not go into the details of what happened after that, but suffice it to say she wouldn't be giving Jimmy any grief over his dalliance.

Come morning Jane moaned, "Ooh what the hell happened..." she exclaimed awakening with her head between Sissy and Jiggles. "Damn, I nearly orgasmed, myself inside out! Wait... it was with a girl..." That would be when she realized she was resting on a pair of huge soft boobs, "Oh my god, I had girl sex with the queen..."

"Don't worry about it, so did the rest of us," chorused the rest of the ladies in bed with us.

"Whoa... I'm in bed with a group of nineteen year old supermodels! Hell, I have bras older than you girls," she claimed.

"Wow, you've got a bra that's over one thousand years old...?" I asked innocently.

"Who the hell is over one thousand years old?" she challenged.

Windy rolled over, kissed her on the mouth, and said, "That would be me!"

"You're over one thousand years old...? You can't be more than twenty!"

"Why thank you! However, when your great, great, great, great, great grandmother was in diapers, I was already five hundred years old," she informed the astonished woman.

"You can't be human!" she exclaimed.

"Bingo!" I replied.

"Wait... an alien wouldn't know about the game bingo..." she stated quite confused. "Everyone who has actually ever played bingo, raise your hand." Everyone had her hand up so she exclaimed, "You're all fibbing!"

"Sorry, it's my fault. I started a bingo game back in Dollyville and the winner got to spend the night with me... it was very popular," I admitted with a blush.

"Who the hell are you to introduce bingo to aliens?" she asked with indignation.

She quickly found herself dangling upside down, "You address the queen of Ka'an! Mind your tongue!"

"Calm yourself amazon," I admonished, "This is my honored guest."

"Apologies madam Buffett," the amazon replied as she placed her gently where she found her.

"What the fuck...? I never saw her and I never felt being put back..." she babbled, "Wow, the 'Secret Service' would shit themselves!"

"They did," I confirmed, "One of them quit the Service right after that."

She started laughing and stated, "I'd pay real money to have seen that!"

My baby doll produced a video of said agent losing control of his bowels, much to the delight of Ms. Buffett, "I'm beginning to think that this little interlude is my husband's responsibility."

"You'd be wrong," I informed my guest, "It was my doing."

"Why the hell would you orchestrate this?" she asked with a puzzled look.

"We need artists," I admitted, "I can offer something no one on earth can to an aging artist," I presented.

"What the hell would that be?" she exclaimed.

"How would you like to be one thousand years old, look and feel like you're nineteen years old?" I asked.

"Who the fuck wouldn't...?" she replied.

"Could you promise not to be jealous? Can you promise to share your man with other women, especially if he always comes home to you?" I asked.

"So nothing would change?" she espoused.

"You would also share the same freedoms as Jimmy. Jealousy on Ka'an is against the law. Having sex with someone, especially with a willing man is encouraged by the queen to help grow our population and yes, you will be as fertile as you were at nineteen," I explained. "The love of your life wants you with him. Think about it... Jimmy with hair and morning wood..."

"You are so evil... but I'm willing when Jimmy is ready," she admitted.

"Okay, are you ready for breakfast?" I asked her. "Breakfast is on Ka'an."

"Dolly...! Where the hell is my slutty wife?" Itzel demanded as she swept into the room.

"Mellow out Itzel, she's probably still recovering from a night of mega lesbian sex," Ixchel admonished waddling into the room.

"Wow, that girl is ready to pop any second!" Ms. Buffett exclaimed.

"I should be good for a couple of weeks yet hon," Ixchel replied, but you'll have to climb off those delicious boobies to let my wife up so the amazons can dress her for breakfast," she replied with a wink.

Jane sat up and I was immediately dressed and standing, "You should be dressed too."

Three seconds later she was standing next to me fully dressed in the same suit she had arrived in, but with fresh panties and bra, "Oh my... this bra is awesome!"

"Thank you Jane," Jiggles replied.

"Your boobs talk?" Jane wondered.

"So do yours," her titties replied.

"What...?" she nearly screeched.

"Your new brassiere has full Ka'anian communications capabilities. Heidi, call Jimmy," I requested.

"Hello...?" he answered Jane's boobs.

"Jimmy! I'm calling you from my bra!" she squealed.

"Does it come with full holographic capability?" he asked.

Heidi was floating above her chest in milliseconds, "I think you could say that..."

"Heidi and the queen must think you special in that case, because most of her entourage cannot project holograms," he replied.

"Be that as it may Jimmy, would you care to join us for a breakfast you would wish to write about in your memoirs?" I asked.

"Hell yes!" he almost screamed, "I'll be in the restaurant in moments."

As we perambulated into the restaurant, we were immediately greeted by Sergio Turriza, "Itzel my wonderful student!"

She hugged him tightly, "Thank you so much for offering me your kitchen!"

Sergio was as pale as a ghost was but said, "You are most welcome. Show my lazy support staff how a great restaurant is run!"

Five Ka'anians slipped into the kitchen and the cooks were made to just stand and watch as half a dozen amazons brought ingredients into the kitchen. One was heard to say, "Madre de Dios!"

The chef came wandering out and asked, "How much...?"

"How much for what...?" I asked back.

"One sous chef... with just one of your sous chefs I could be world class!" he exclaimed.

"With Itzel you could take over the culinary world..." I laughed.

"I do not expect you to give me your wife, but just one little sous chef... please?" he begged.

"How often could you get her wildly fucked?" I asked.

"What...?" he asked incredulously.

"I might be able to get you a sous chef if you promise to get her fucked plenty," I insisted.

"She'll wind up pregnant and I'll be out a sous chef!" he complained.

"If she does, then I'll probably be able to get you two to replace her," I determined.

"I could not afford to pay two more sous chefs... would they be trained by Itzel?" he added with the little wheels going in his head.

"Oh... you want to pay them too? I think room and board would suffice. Earth money doesn't have much value to my girls but a belly full of baby is beyond value," I clarified, "Yes, every sous chef will be personally trained by Itzel, be of the highest caliber, and work ethic her Ka'anian salary will be covered by me. Additionally, I guarantee no paternity suits either."

"I'd be like a pimp with a sex slave who cooks!" he realized, "I accept!" which caused much laughter.

"Where is Itzel?" he exclaimed looking every which way.

An amazon appeared in front of him and replied, "Itzel left with her sous chefs to begin preparing breakfast."

He screamed and ran for the kitchen.

"I believe that is the cue to go and find a table," I commented. Whereupon I instantly found myself in the restaurant seated at a table and hearing the chef arrive in the kitchen moments later.

"I knew that if I told you about not thinking that you are running, that you would wind up so fast that I couldn't protect you," Windy advised as she caught up.

"It's a good thing that you posted that amazon here before I could arrive," I admitted with a wink.

"There are six other amazons waiting elsewhere," Windy admitted.

"Next time I'll remember to bring the amazon with me," I promised.

"That should scare the panties off of them," Windy declared.

"How is that a bad thing?" I asked.

"I may just make a no panty rule for the amazons if it means that much to you," Windy offered.

"Without panties, how can I see camel toes?" I asked.

"Is that more exciting than seeing naked pussy?" Windy asked.

Everyone within earshot exclaimed, "Of course it is, are you crazy? The tease and the promise of what's hiding behind them is what it's all about?"

"So why would you want to scare the panties off an amazon?" Windy rationalized.

"Because what you get is a juicy wet vulva, not just a naked one," I informed her.

Sergio Turriza came out of the kitchen shaking his head, "My sous chefs are just standing around with their jaws near their knees! Itzel's sous chefs are faster than food processors with deadly accuracy. One of my chefs tried to help but Itzel's chefs grew tired of waiting for him and duplicated what he was doing faster and better, so he threw up his hands and joined the other chefs watching Itzel and her crew. You'll be eating your meals in record time!"

Rafael was wandering around speaking with the other guests, "Good morning. I'm pleased to be able to inform you that this morning's repast has been taken care of by the Queen of Ka'an. You will be dining on extraterrestrial foods beyond compare prepared by the Queen's personal chef. The only others on earth who have been allowed this privilege have been dignitaries of the United States government."

"Is the Queen really here?" one woman asked.

"Yes, I have had the privilege of getting to know her during her visit. She is seated right over there," whereupon he pointed at me.

"Oh my god... I thought she was a porn star!" the woman replied.

"Madam, please do not repeat that and you might mumble something about her beauty as well," he whispered to her.

"Um... she is quite lovely... she must have a very hard time finding brassieres in her size," she remarked.

A golden Amazon appeared at her elbow and said, "She has more brassieres in her size than you have dollars in your bank." The amazon disappeared immediately afterward.

"You now understand I believe," Rafael nodded at the woman looking deeply into her eyes. "Amazon security is everywhere in this hotel."

"Are the Federales in attendance as well?" she asked.

"A high official is seated with the Queen. Her predecessor is at the bottom of the Caribbean," he replied with a grin, "with much thanks to the Queen for his demise by the Mexican government."

"Son of a bitch..." her husband breathed.

"Quite," Rafael replied. "Bon Appetite."

Soon the ladies began serving Condor egg omelets with Zager Fish Claw meat, Be'Chu, and grapes on the side in brandy and a lovely Condor steak in a wine sauce.

I watched Chef Sergio Turriza take a bite of the omelet. He looked as though he wished to hug himself as he remarked, "Itzel has managed to outstrip her teachers and prepared a tour de force in a culinary masterpiece!"

"Damn straight cooking boy!" Betty exclaimed. "This here grub is better than sex!"

Everyone was enamored with the breakfast, including Ixchel who had come in with Itzel.

Once everyone was finished I suggested, "Martha you've met Ixchel, now would you like to visit her temple with us?"

"Almost as much as I'd like to continue breathing," she admitted, standing in readiness.

We all trouped out to the tour busses which Heidi had retained for our use and drove to the temple site.

"Oh... my poor beautiful temple," Ixchel moaned, "So much has been taken away." She walked into the tall house, "Aw the statue is gone..." Ixchel palmed a place on the wall and a stairwell opened for us.

Martha exclaimed, "Madre de dios!"

"Your ancestors thought so," she claimed as she walked down the stairs.

"We tested for underground rooms and found no evidence of this," Martha admitted.

"It's shielded and only my hand can open this room," she explained. Her hand was placed on a rock shelf and a viewing window opened before her, "I was able to see the women who came to ask for favorable births of children and scan them for probable birthing difficulties. After I played midwife to a couple of the local women they all assumed I was the goddess of fertility and child birth so I had this system installed. I was able to speak from the statue above and advise the women and in some cases, I would insist they come back for help with the birthing. Once in a while it was necessary to cause a spontaneous abortion if the child had extreme birth defects."

"Wow, you really cared for our people here," Martha exclaimed and hugged Ixchel.

"While I was here helping with the studies I did," she admitted, "When I was to leave I couldn't leave the technology in the hands of the locals but I had trained the priestesses how to be good midwives and showed them how to impersonate me in the statue. They couldn't make the medical determinations I could but with good midwifery, they would save more children than without."

"Could we use the medical scanner when you're gone? Our people are much more sophisticated than when you last were here," Martha pleaded.

Maria added her voice to Martha's, "On behalf of the Mexican government we would consider this a magnificent token of friendship from the Ka'anian people."

I whispered to Windy, "Would they be able to reverse engineer it?"

"No chance..."

"Could it be abused?" was my next question.

"They wouldn't be able to use the spontaneous abortion function without Ixchel's DNA," Windy assured me.

"As long as it is okay with Ixchel, you may use this with the blessing of the Queen of Ka'an," I informed Martha with a smile.

Maria thanked me and took off at a run with her satellite phone in hand and chattering away in Spanish. When she came back she announced, "The Mexican government thanks you and the army should arrive soon to cordon off this building from the rest of the site."

Ixchel snickered and declared, "Martha, loan me your hand for a moment...?" She placed Martha's hand on a place on the stone shelf and declared, "You are now authorized access to this facility and the scanning functions. You shouldn't need the army to keep people out of here. If they should try to drill in their drill bits would shatter and if they tried to blast, many acres would vanish when the power supply is compromised."

"You have some kind of an atomic pile under here?" Maria exclaimed.

"No, just a small fusion plant," she stated.

"Carajo..." Maria answered quietly and breathily.

"Maria, would you go above and stand in the room so I can show Martha how the scanner works?" Ixchel asked.

"Ah, sure..."

"See the fetus is developing well and it appears she will have little trouble with child birth," Ixchel declared.

"What the hell did you say?" Maria yelled down at us.

"Your pregnancy will go well and you shouldn't have any trouble with child birth," Martha repeated.

"I'm not pregnant!" Maria declared.

"You are about two weeks along my dear," Ixchel announced to the sound of Maria running down the stairs to where we stood.

"Congratulation," I offered as she approached.

She was stunned and repeating, "Pregnant..."

I walked up the stairs and allowed them to check me out to prove the machine was working properly and that she is indeed pregnant.

"See, you can tell her womb is empty but the machine will show that she is fertile and with those wide hips and birthing channel she would have no difficulties birthing a child," Ixchel declared as she scanned me.

The ladies all came back up the stairs and Martha palmed the wall, closing the stairwell, "I love this. I don't have to worry about anyone disturbing this site!"

"Remember, if you try to disassemble it, it will stop working and you will never be able to make it work again. If you attempt to get the power supply both will cease to function and you might cause a total conversion runaway which will make the north end of the island disappear," Ixchel warned.

"I promise that I will not allow access to the facility to anyone who intends to cause damage to it in any way, to the best of my abilities," Martha announced.

"By the way, I must inform you that you'll never need to buy a new brassiere for the rest of your life," I told her.

She had a quizzical look on her face so I added, "You will be receiving bras from us with communications built into them, therefore should someone try to coerce you into anything, Heidi will know and you'll find amazons showing up with remarkable speed."

Maria sped out the door with her sat-phone in hand.

"I'll put money on the fact that Maria is informing the higher ups that they will need to play nice," I snorted.

When we got back to the tour busses, I asked Jimmy and Jane if they wanted to visit Chichen Itza.

"If you break out an asteroid shield, I'll go anywhere with you!" Jimmy admitted.