tagHumor & SatirePenis Envy Too – Women Only

Penis Envy Too – Women Only


I'm thinking back to learning about human sexuality. In college, I was embarrassed to take the class all my friends were standing in line for.

As a grown woman, I'm still learning about human sexuality and why is that? We are so educated in so many other ways - except about sex. We learn by experience more than anything else. Maybe life is an experiment.

I haven't found a book yet that explains how to give a woman a great orgasm. Since 80 per cent of women don't have an orgasm during penetration, shouldn't there be a class for both sexes to have these things explained.

Even the Kinsey reports weren't that long ago and he was ostracized for researching and experimenting with the subject of sex.

Going back in time and wondering what I ever learned in human sexuality, I must be having a lapse in memory because I don't think I learned anything. Gosh knows, only recently I learned what the word 'hymen' means and I lost that a long time ago.

What exactly did the "Birds and the Bees" conversation ever teach? For golly sakes, we basically just learned where our privates were and that we already knew that.

The average adult penile size is reached as an adult. Isn't this the point when human sexuality should be taught when actual and real comparisons can be made and understood by adults?

Women, how many times have you heard about his 'huge' cock, only to be disappointed that it was the size of any average man.

I'm pleading with you as a woman and want to be coach; let's talk about penis size women and what size you should like or not like.

I'm soliciting to all men!

Please explain to me, how it is exactly that you go shopping for pussy? Do you secretly think to yourself – I bet my cock will fit great in her (small, large, wide, long, short) pussy. Does it even matter?

I enlist men to give women a sign before you ask us to have sex. Wear a little sign saying, "I'm six inches, narrow and I fit just right."

Or, "I'm 6.5 inches and you'll love my cock. Or, I'm 7 inches long, very wide and I'll probably gag you if you try to suck my cock too deep." Or, "I'm on the wee bit size. Do you like that little lady?" Or, "I'm titanic. You'll never be the same as I stick my ... incher into you."

Well, men. Let's face reality; the average cock size is 4-7 inches. Did you know that?

Now, see in human sexuality class, I think the teachers should have just lined all you guys up by size. "Listen up guys. Four inchers over there. Five inchers, form a new line. Six inchers, next. Finally, seven inches and above, form a special line."

Gals could google and goggle as they giggled not knowing what they were giggling at.

Let us gals see which line was the longest and this would have been the best human sexuality we could ever have gotten and would have carried us through life and adulthood.

Guys should be committed to truthfully get in the correct line for the grade. This could set the record straight in years to come interacting with women.

Then later, we women could say, "You know so and so stood in the six incher line in college."

All women would know what was being said.

I say in middle life, I want you men to know that women want to know about penis size now - so we can forever close the topic.

Forget about exhibitionism; give me a wee look before I get too involved with you. Hand me a post-it note on our first date; bring a picture of it in your wallet; or, let me feel it for myself before dessert and especially before we embrace in a passionate evening of lovemaking.

Now, don't get me wrong. Size DOES matter. Just kidding! Size doesn't matter depending what part of a woman you are visiting.

Oral sex does, for sure.

How delightful it is for men to care for that special spot; to spread the soft lips gently with his fingers; to flick his tongue inside those precious folds; and, to feel the gasp as his lips touch, then suck gently. His tongue slides, chases the wetness taking time to explore every sweet bit of essence.

She quivers and shakes her inner thighs as his tongue finds the opening and reaching in as far as it will go. Patiently exploring, eliciting more shakes, more quivers until finally the soft pussy is thrusting against his mouth.

He squeezes close sharing of that divine moment of feminine release beginning. So wet, so slippery, he's ready to slide his stiffened self in. Savoring the slickness of her pussy while the feeling is so intense knowing it won't be long before his own essence joins that slickness in the most wonderful of all places.

Then he enters her pussy for the final moments. Enjoyment, lust, ecstasy and warmth creates an out of body experience.

So, you see a man's size, for the most part, isn't that important. For a woman, love, intimacy, caring and lovemaking is key. When a penis enters a woman, she loves the hardness, no matter what size it is. Because most women don't have an orgasm during penetration, there are many other things you can do while you are inside her while touching other parts of her anatomy and pussy causing an intense orgasm.

Just remember, no matter what size you are, your private part is going to be bigger than any other primate, even the gorilla (not sure about elephants, but everything is relevant.

As a matter of fact, measuring up to other primates, the male human genitalia is remarkably large. The human penis is both longer and thicker than that of any other primate, as are the testes.

Penis size is of great concern to you men. But, it is not a mark of masculinity.

You won't be too small to satisfy your partner. Let these insecurities go. The topic has only created a new market devoted to penis enlargement.

Women often wonder how men arrive at size. Do men get a tape measure or a ruler? Do men do this alone or before entering a pussy? With or without the blue pill? Or, is it a visual measurement (this one is of concern)?

Let's clear up that the length of a penis is typically measured with a man standing and the penis held parallel to the floor. Size of your organ should be measured horizontally along the top of the penis from the base to the tip. I know you're not one of those men that tend to misjudge the size of your penis in comparison to other men. A beer belly does not enhance the size of your penis either.

Now, there's also the subject of girth, one of my more favorite topics. Now get that tape measure out and find the thickest part. Is it the size of a pencil, a tampon, or a toilet roll tube – be honest now!

Men, when you are rating penis size as average to above average, please be truthful.

Women will try to do the same about breast size (however, women will deceive you as often as possible with those padded or push-up bras). I offer this information in the strictest of confidence women!

Now, go out and look for that new job. See ads like "Condom specialist needed or Lifestyle measurer in demand," and respond as soon as possible.

Then, there's the size of the mean length and girth of a penis for each race. The results may surprise you (according the Definitive Penis Size Survey). I'll leave it up to you to look up that information.

So, women unite! Know your prey. Do a little research and be prepared.

Let me know if I can offer any more insights?

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bypeppermintpatty2006© 5 comments/ 53122 views/ 3 favorites

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