Pennies

When the movie came to an end she didn't move, and I realized she was asleep. I tried to gently shake her awake but she was pretty well out. I sat there for about another 15 minutes, actually really enjoying the moment, but then my bladder began to make its presence felt.

"Rochelle, wake up. It's time for bed."

She started to stir just a little bit and I thought she'd sit up and stretch and then walk into the bedroom, but that was not what happened.

"Mmm, carry me..."

The act of doing it would not be a problem. She was lighter than Liz and I carried Liz a number of times. It was the request itself, the intimacy of it that gave me pause. I was constantly worried about stepping over some invisible line that might cost me her trust. But she had asked.

I moved her head off of my lap and slipped out from under her. I left her there while I quickly relieved myself then went back and found she hadn't moved. I managed to get my arms under her neck and her knees and hoisted her up. Her arms instinctively wrapped around my neck and I carried her easily into the bedroom.

I went around to her side and put her on the bed, pulled the blankets up over her and turned off the lights. I went back out to the living room to fold up the blanket she had been using and clean up the popcorn bowl and our glasses, and then I went to bed myself. Worried about a repeat of last night, I set myself as far to my side of the bed as I could and turned so that my back was facing Rochelle.

It didn't help. Well, I guess it did, though we still ended up next to each other. The next morning, instead of me wrapped around her in the middle of the bed, I found her wrapped around me on my side of the bed. So I had stayed put, but she had gravitated all the way across the bed and molded herself to me. It was like she had meant for it to happen. And damn if I didn't really like the way it felt.

<><><><><>

ROCHELLE

I was playing with fire a little bit. Henry had only offered me these 2 nights, which meant that I was likely headed back on to the streets at some point today. But I didn't want to go, and it had nothing to do with being warm and comfortable, and everything with wanting to spend more time with Henry. I could've walked myself to bed last night, but I asked him to carry me, wondering what he'd do. When he first got off the couch and left me there I thought I had gone too far, but then I heard the toilet flush and he came back for me. It felt good to be carried in his arms. I was protected for the first time in a long time.

Then last night I woke up in the middle of the night. I reached back for him but didn't feel him. I opened my eyes and once I adjusted to the darkness of the room I saw that he was as far on his side of the bed as he could go without falling off. I suspected he was trying to avoid moving toward me in the night. Not that he objected to being next to me, but that he didn't want to be seen as the 'aggressor', as it were.

I could hear him breathing steadily so I knew he was asleep. I thought about it briefly and decided I needed to go for it. If I was going to stay and get a chance to see where this relationship went, it needed to be his idea to ask me, not mine, but that didn't mean I couldn't nudge him in the right direction. This was what I ran away to find, and I wasn't going to just let it go.

I was afraid it might seem too obvious but I didn't care at this point. I needed to let him know how I felt and then give him the opportunity to respond. I slid all the way across the bed to his side and wrapped myself around his body. And there we stayed, for the rest of the night.

I was actually awake already when I heard his breathing change and could feel him waking. I just hadn't moved. I was afraid he was ready to let me go and this would be the last time feeling this, and I wanted it to last as long as possible.

When he slid out from under me I was disappointed but I tried not to let it show. He went to the restroom then came back and lay down next to me; I had moved back toward the center of the bed to give him space.

"We can't seem to stay separated at night," he observed.

"I noticed that myself. I wonder why that is?"

Henry smiled, turned a little red, and just shrugged his shoulders, which was a good sign to me. The answer, as far as I was concerned, was that we didn't want to be separated, and his look suggested to me that he had the same thought.

I climbed out of bed and used the restroom myself, then went into the kitchen to start breakfast while Henry took a shower. The food was ready to go and a minute later Henry emerged wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. He looked really nice.

"Do you want to do something today?" he asked.

"Sure. What did you have in mind?"

"The university museum has an exhibit on 19th century inventions that sounds interesting. We could do that, get some lunch, and then maybe catch a movie."

"That sounds great, Henry." And it really did.

After we ate I took my turn in the shower then pulled on an ankle-length skirt (it had a belt so I could tighten it enough to stay up) and simple pink button-up blouse (that was way too big but couldn't be helped). I pulled my hair back but let it hang down.

The museum trip was incredibly interesting. There were a lot of pictures but also plenty of real-life examples of some of the inventions being featured, though I think many of them were replicas rather than originals.

We had lunch at, of all things, a Greek restaurant. I found it a little bland myself but Henry seemed to enjoy it quite a bit. Then we went to a movie, and I felt a surge of hope when Henry took my hand and held it in his throughout the movie. It wasn't definitive, but it was very nice.

After that we walked for a while and talked about everything and nothing, then finally stopped for dinner near his apartment, at the same diner he had fed me in the first time we met. Joan was there as always. I silently wondered if she lived there.

"Good evening, Joan," Henry called as we walked in.

"Evening, Henry. Who's this lovely lady?"

"Don't you remember Rochelle from the other night? I guess she does look quite a bit different."

Joan looked shocked. "This can't be pervert homeless girl, can it?"

Didn't anyone forget about that?

"Hi Joan. It's me, one and the same. I'm sorry about causing a scene that night."

"No worries, sweetie. You sure do clean up nice. You guys look good together."

We sat at a booth this time and ordered dinner. I wondered if this was some bizarre going-full-circle thing, where he was going to say goodbye in the same place we said hello. But dinner was uneventful, and we left there to walk the 2 blocks back to Henry's apartment.

Since he had only offered me two nights and those were both in the rear-view mirror, and he hadn't offered another, when we got back to his place I started getting my things together

"What are you doing?" he asked me.

I couldn't even bring myself to face him. Obviously I felt more for him than he felt for me, and I didn't want him to see me cry. And if I looked in his face that's exactly what would happen.

"Well, the two nights you offered are over, so I was getting ready to leave. Do you mind if I take one more shower before I go?"

"Uh, sure, whatever you need."

The retreating footsteps told me he was gone.

<><><><><>

HENRY

She was packing and leaving. I guess she didn't feel the same about me as I did about her. Well, if that was true, it was better that she left sooner rather than later. But somehow it felt wrong. I did what I always did when I needed comfort: I went into my closet and settled myself among Liz's things. Stashed behind the small chest of drawers was a copy of our wedding picture and I pulled it out like I had so many times before. Liz looked so incredibly beautiful that day. My favorite touch was the small white flowers she had woven into her hair. That day was like a dream, and I still couldn't believe the nightmare it had become.

I closed my eyes and spoke to my wife.

"Lizzy, I need your strength and your guidance now. You know how much I love you and that I always will. You always knew the right thing to do. Help me now, if you can."

I had spoken to Liz this way a number of times over the last 2 years. Sometimes I got an answer and sometimes I didn't but I always felt better. When she had answered (and make no mistake, I did believe it was her answering me) she had never steered me wrong.

Her answers came in different forms. There were times I had actually heard her voice in my head. Others, there was some kind of sign that pointed me in the right direction. I had to open my mind to be ready to interpret what it was she tried to tell me.

I opened my eyes, and there it was. I had done a thorough cleaning of my room, including the closet, just a few days before I had brought Rochelle here. I had moved furniture around and gotten the vacuum into every nook and cranny it would fit. The place was utterly and completely spotless. I hadn't even noticed anything amiss when I sat down just a few minutes ago. But as I opened my eyes, there it was, as plain as day and with absolutely no reason to be sitting on the carpet right next to the drawer where Rochelle had taken out those pajamas.

A penny.

I picked it up and felt it in my hands. As I studied it I realized in utter disbelief that the year the coin was minted was the same year Liz was born. I closed my eyes.

"Thank you, Lizzy. No matter what happens from here you know you are always first in my heart."

I got myself together just as Rochelle was putting her things by the door. She raised her eyes to look at me.

"I was just going to knock on your door to say goodbye. I really appreciate everything you did for me the last couple of days."

"Rochelle, wait. I was...wondering if you'd be interested in staying a little longer."

I thought I saw a little bit of happiness pass through her eyes.

"What did you have in mind?"

I walked over to her and took her hands in mine. I didn't know if this was a mistake or not, but Liz had given me the strength to try.

"Actually, I was hoping you might be willing to stay...forever."

She looked at me and I thought she was ready to cry, but I wasn't sure if it was happy crying or upset crying. I kept talking, thinking I might need to convince her.

"Rochelle, I know it's only been a couple of days, but I think I've fallen in love with you. I certainly have very deep, strong feelings for you. I know it's kind of fast for moving in together, but considering your situation..."

She put her finger up to my lips to stop me from babbling at her.

"Henry, shut up and kiss me."

I pulled her to me and we pressed our lips together. Our tongues were trying to get past each other to explore the other's mouth. This went on for several minutes, until Rochelle pulled away and spoke.

"Take me to bed, baby."

I looked deep into her green eyes.

"Are you sure?"

She just smiled at me.

"Let me put it this way: you know that food money you gave me that first night?"

"Sure."

"I used some of it to buy condoms. Does that answer your question?"

I answered that question with a huge smile and by carrying her back to my...our bedroom. We stood next to the bed and kissed while we stripped each other of clothing. I got on my knees as I slid her panties off of her. I stopped and smiled, looking up at her.

"What's that look for?" she asked me.

"When you borrowed that razor I had assumed you shaved ...everything, but you didn't."

"I will if you want me to."

I buried my face into her bush, snaking my tongue between her thighs and taking a swipe at her clit that elicited a low moan. Then I spoke again.

"No, I don't want you to, for 2 reasons: One, since you didn't do it, I assume you prefer not to, and two, this is just the way I like it."

I pushed her onto the bed and rededicated myself to tonguing her pink slit. I hadn't been with anyone since Liz and hadn't been particularly experienced before that. I was aware that Rochelle both tasted and smelled different than Liz had; not better or worse, just different.

We explored each other's bodies slowly and lovingly. I didn't believe I'd ever feel about anyone the way I felt about Liz, but Rochelle came as close as I believed was possible. By the time we were done I was sure of my love for her, and she had repeatedly expressed her love for me. We stayed naked in bed until I had to go to work on Monday morning, stopping only to clean up and use the restroom every once in a while. Thanks to Rochelle's shopping trip, we even had food to eat.

<><><><><>

ROCHELLE

I couldn't believe it. I had left home in search of true love and I actually found it. When I finally reached the point of being homeless I was sure it would never happen, but not only had I found the man of my dreams, he exceeded even my greatest expectations.

I was struggling to hold in my emotions as I packed to leave. I knew how I felt about Henry and was dismayed that he hadn't felt the same. And then he asked me to stay, not just for a few days but to actually move in and be with him. My heart swelled, and at that moment I wanted nothing more than to make love to the man I was sure I would spend the rest of my life with. And it was everything I hoped it would be.

I didn't have much experience with sex. Before I had left home I had fooled around with a few boys and even given my virginity to Bobby Thomsen, my boyfriend during my junior year at Hampton Academy. I don't regret having done it; we had strong feelings for each other and our relationship continued even stronger, and we even did it a few more times before we eventually broke up, having mutually decided to explore other relationship options.

But when I finally coupled with Henry it was like nothing I had done back then. Certainly that was to be expected, but I was often overwhelmed by the love and affection I felt both from him and for him. We ended up in bed for the whole weekend, and I felt the void when he had to get up for work on Monday morning.

My only concern, and it was a minor one, was the presence of Liz in his life. He loved her so much, and I loved that he was capable of so much passion, but I did wonder if our relationship was going to be just the 2 of us or would somehow be the 3 of us. I didn't want to push him but it was something that would need to be addressed at some point. And it happened sooner than I thought.

Monday night he came home from work and I had dinner ready for him when he got home. We talked a little bit about the day but he seemed distracted, like there was something on his mind. We ate the pork chops I had prepared, and when we were done he asked me to come into the bedroom with him so we could talk. It was certainly something serious.

He led me into the closet and we sat on the floor on Liz's side of the closet. He reached behind the dresser and pulled out what turned out to be their wedding picture.

"Hi Lizzy. I wanted you to meet Rochelle." He turned to me and took my hand. "Whenever I was struggling over the past two years," he explained to me, "I would come in here and talk to Liz. This was where I felt her presence the strongest."

I could see his eyes moisten and feel the emotion coming off of him. I wanted to comfort him but believed he was doing something he needed to do.

"You may not believe this, but she talked back to me on more than one occasion. I was here the night I asked you to stay. I had fallen in love with you but was scared, I guess. I wasn't sure how you felt about me, and oddly I was afraid of betraying Liz. She gave me her blessing and you know the rest."

He ran his hands across my cheeks and kissed me lightly on the lips, then rested his forehead on mine. This was hard for him. And the weird thing was that I could actually feel something, a presence if you will. I spoke to it, to her.

"Liz, what you and Henry have is true love and even I would give anything for you two to still be together, but you exist in different worlds now. He'll always love you and there will always be a place for you in our lives. I promise you I'll take good care of him."

For reasons I can't explain, when I was done talking I felt so much better, like a weight had been lifted. Henry spoke to his wife again.

"Lizzy, it's time. We knew it would be here one day. You will always be in my heart but you can't be here with me. I know I will see you again one day, but I have to move forward in this life until we meet again in the next one. You know I will never forget you. You'll be with me to the end of time. I love you. Rest in peace, my sweet."

He was openly crying now, tears streaming down his face. He was leaving behind...no, that's not right. He was setting aside the love of his life so he could move forward with me. It was an act of incredible strength and courage and I recognized it as such.

"Baby, I'm going to move Liz's things into the guest room so that we can get you some new things and put them in here. I love you, Rochelle, and in the future I will want you by my side for everything I do, but I need to do this alone. I hope you understand."

"Honey, you just do what you need to do. There's no hurry, and when you're done I'll be here to comfort you. I love you too."

<><><><><>
HENRY

I carefully moved all of Liz's things into the spare room. If I was truly going to make a go of a relationship with Rochelle I needed to let Liz go. I knew I still had a ways to go to fully accomplish that as I turned the spare room closet into a de facto 'Shrine to Liz', but I had held on to her for so long and my separation would need to be gradual. I hung all of her remaining clothes and rehung all of the pictures of her in there. I still needed someplace I could talk to her, at least for a while longer, but it was time to make new memories with Rochelle.

It took me about 3 hours to get everything moved, including things I found in other rooms. I wanted Rochelle free to make the rest of the space her own. She was being amazingly understanding about all of this, which made me love her even more.

When I finally set the last item – an emerald necklace I had given her for our first anniversary – in the closet I couldn't hold it in anymore. I fell to my knees and bawled my eyes out. Rochelle was on me in seconds, pulling me off of the floor and holding me tight against her.

"It's okay, baby, I'm here. I'm here, baby."

I held on to her for dear life. I could feel her top getting damp as it absorbed my tears. I was shaking all over and all she did was hold me and whisper in my ear that she had me and everything was going to be okay. We didn't move for probably 20 minutes, even after my crying had died down to the occasional sob. I finally lifted my eyes to hers.

"Thank you, baby. Thank you being here and for loving me."

She smiled at me, and then said, "I'll always be here, baby. It's getting late. Why don't we get into bed and maybe I can give you some more comfort."

We got up off the floor and made our way to our bed. She peeled my clothes off and hers quickly followed. At first it was just sweetness and affection. We kissed, we held each other, we talked a bit; but eventually we both became aroused and soon she was on top of me, my shaft sliding gently in and out of her love tunnel. We went slow and steady at first but soon our arousal overtook our melancholy. Rochelle leaned in and whispered into my ear.

"Fuck me, baby. I know you love her but I'm your woman now."

I grabbed her tiny ass and began pounding her with all I had. It was actually very cathartic, letting out all the frustration and anger I was feeling at that moment. We locked eyes and suddenly I couldn't hold back any more. I blew my load into her hole, only momentarily aware that I wasn't wearing a condom before I decided there was nothing to be done about it now.