Penny Moves into the Building

Sheldon and Leonard climbed the steps of their apartment building. They were discussing their failed attempt at donating sperm in order to make a couple extra bucks. They failed because Sheldon was worried who ever used his sperm wouldn't love the resulting child as they should.

"Are you still mad about the sperm bank?" Sheldon asked.

"No," Leonard replied with a disappointed tone.

"You want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?" Sheldon asked.

"Not really."

"If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimetres, most people will trip."

"I don't care." Leonard paused. "Two millimeters? That doesn't seem right."

"No, it's true. I did a series of experiments when I was twelve. My father broke his clavicle."

"Is that why they sent you to boarding school?"

"No, that was the result of my work with lasers."

As they stepped on to the landing of their floor they noticed the door across the landing from theirs was open. In that apartment stood a beautiful blonde unaware of their presence. Her long blonde hair cascaded across her shoulders. She wore a light blue tank top and short-short-short jeans that showed off her long tan legs and more than a hint of her heart shaped ass that was tan as well.

"New neighbor?" Leonard said under his breath to Sheldon.

"Evidently."

Leonard admired the view of this new neighbor. "Significant improvement over the old neighbor."

Sheldon nodded. "A two hundred pound transvestite with a skin condition? Yes she is."

The new neighbor heard the voices behind her and spun around. "Oh, hi!" she said in a bright, cheerful voice.

"Hi," Leonard said.

"Hi," Sheldon replied.

"Hi," Leonard nervously said again.

"Hi," Sheldon repeated.

"Hi?" the new neighbor said in a confused tone.

"We don't mean to interrupt, we live across the hall," Leonard finally said, pointing at his apartment.

"Oh, that's nice," Penny said in a tone that suggested Leonard and Sheldon were a couple.

Leonard realized what she was thinking. "Oh... uh... no... we don't live together... um... we live together but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms."

"Oh, okay. Well, guess I'm your new neighbor, Penny."

Leonard pointed at himself and Sheldon. "Leonard, Sheldon."

"Hi," Penny said in her sing song voice.

Leonard waved. "Hi."

Sheldon waved. "Hi."

Penny waved. "Hi."

Leonard waved again. "Hi." There was an awkward pause. "Well, uh, oh, welcome to the building."

"Thank you. Maybe we can have coffee sometime," Penny said politely.

"Oh, great," Leonard replied.

"Great," Penny said.

Sheldon chimed in. "Great."

"Great," Leonard said again. Another awkward pause. "Well, bye."

Penny waved. "Bye."

Sheldon waved back. "Bye."

Leonard waved. "Bye."

A few moments later in their apartment...

"Should we have invited her for lunch?" Leonard asked Sheldon.

Sheldon shook his head. "No. We're going to start Season Two of Battlestar Galactica."

"We already watched the Season Two DVDs."

"Not with commentary."

"I'm going to invite her over."

*****

Leonard knocked on Penny's door. "Hi. Again," he said.

"Hi," Penny said with the same cheerful voice.

Sheldon nodded. "Hi."

"Hi," Leonard said.

'Hi?" Penny said in a confused tone again.

Leonard waved his hand, knowing they were sounding like dorks. He held out a bag of take-out food. "Anyway, um. We brought home Indian food. And, um, I know that moving can be stressful, and I find that when I'm undergoing stress, that good food and company can have a comforting effect. Also, curry is a natural laxative, and I don't have to tell you that, uh, a clean colon is just one less thing to worry about."

Sheldon leaned into Leonard. "Leonard, I'm not an expert here but I believe in the context of a luncheon invitation, you might want to skip the reference to bowel movements."

"Oh, you're inviting me over to eat?" Penny asked.

Leonard nodded. "Uh, yes."

"Oh, that's so nice, I'd love to," she said cheerfully, thankful she was going to get a free meal. "So, what do you guys do for fun around here?" Penny asked as she followed them into their apartment.

"Well, today we tried masturbating for money," Sheldon said nonchalantly.

*****

After discussing Leonard and Sheldon's work, Leonard finally turned the focus to Penny. "That's probably enough about us. Tell us about you."

Penny thought for a moment. "Um, me, okay, I'm Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know."

"Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the Sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations and the time of your birth somehow effects your personality," Sheldon said with contempt.

Penny didn't understand. "Participate in the what?"

"I think what Sheldon's trying to say is that Sagittarius wouldn't have been our first guess," Leonard said, trying to cover for his friend's obnoxiousness.

Penny nodded. "Oh, yeah, a lot of people think I'm a water sign. Okay, let's see, what else? Oh, I'm a vegetarian, oh, except for fish, and the occasional steak. Oh, and I love cock! I love everything about it!"

The two men were caught completely off guard by her revelation of her love for the male member.

"Wu-uh, do you have some sort of a job?" Leonard stammered, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Oh, yeah, I'm a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory. I'm also writing a screenplay. It's about this sensitive girl who comes to L.A. from Lincoln, Nebraska to be an actress, and winds up a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory."

"So it's based on your life?" Leonard asked.

"No, I'm from Omaha," Penny said, trying to make the distinction between Omaha and Lincoln. "I'm just waiting for my big break. I've auditioned for a couple of commercials, and have done a couple of, you know, X-rated porn movies. But those are just to pay the bills, you know?"

Leonard's mind was racing, imagining Penny's naked body being ravished in a porno. "Well, if that was a movie, I would go see it!" He caught himself. "I mean, the screenplay you're writing. Not the porn movie. Not that I wouldn't watch you in a porn movie! I mean..." Leonard bowed his head in shame.

Penny was excited that someone else thought her screenplay was a good idea. "I know, right?! Okay, let's see, what else? Um, that's about it. That's the story of Penny."

"Well it sounds wonderful," Leonard said.

They finished their meals while mostly listening to Penny ramble on about her life in Nebraska and her life since she moved to Pasadena.

After they finished the meal, Sheldon began to gather the dirty dishes, piling them up on the table in front of them.

"Thank you so much for inviting me over, guys! I was starving!" Penny said enthusiastically.

"You're very welcome, anytime," Leonard replied.

"Look, I don't have any money to repay you. I'm so broke! So, is there anything I can do? Help clean up? Do the dishes? Oooo! I know! How about blow jobs?!" she said as if she was offering to wash their car.

Once Leonard picked his jaw up off the floor he said, "Uh, uh, uh, yes, a, uh, I'd be okay with a blow job. How about you, Sheldon?"

"A 'blow job'? What's a 'blow job'?" Sheldon asked.

"What's a blow job?!" Penny laughed. Leonard shrugged his shoulders and Sheldon was waiting for an answer. Penny stopped laughing and looked at Leonard. "Is he for real?"

Leonard nodded his head. "'Fraid so." He looked at Sheldon. "A 'blow job' is when a female puts a penis in her mouth and sucks on it," he said with a straight face.

Sheldon was appalled. "What?! That sounds completely unsanitary! No, thank you, ma'am, I think I'll pass on that disgusting transference of germs."

Penny looked at Leonard. She was stunned. She had never had anyone reject the offer of a blow job. "Seriously?" Leonard nodded his head.

Leonard looked at his friend. "Are you sure? It's quite pleasurable."

Sheldon looked at his friend in disbelief. "And how would you know exactly?"

Leonard looked at Penny, then looked away. "Well...uh...I've heard it's quite pleasurable."

Penny's mouth flew open. "You've never had a blow job?!" Leonard hung his head and shook his head in shame. "Don't you have any sisters? How about your mom? She never gave you a blow job?"

Leonard's head snapped up. "My...my mother? My sister? What?!"

Penny shrugged her shoulders. "Well, yeah. My sister and I gave Daddy and my brother Randy blow jobs all the time."

Leonard couldn't believe what he just heard. "Seriously?!"

"Well, yeah," Penny nodded. "We're a very close family," she smiled and nodded her head. She turned her attention to Sheldon. "C'mon, Sheldon, let me give you a blow job. Let me see what you've got in your pants."

"Absolutely not! And I have my wallet, a comb, and 73 cents in my pants."

"Okay, how about a hand job?"

Leonard stepped in before Sheldon asked. "She places her hand around your penis and strokes it. It's like a massage for your penis."

Sheldon thought about it. "Hmmmmm, that doesn't sound so bad. Yes, I'll let you give me a 'hand job'," he said, like he was doing Penny a favor.

Penny clapped her hands. "Yay!" She dropped to her knees. Leonard scooted over next to Sheldon so both men were in front of Penny. "Okay, boys, drop 'em! Let's see what you've got."

Leonard had his pants on the floor in a second, revealing a bulge in his Superman boxers underwear. Sheldon was more methodical. He slowly pulled his pants down and over his feet. He neatly folded them and placed them on the floor, leaving on his tighty whitey underwear.

Penny sat there on her knees. Then she realized they weren't giving any indication they were going to remove their underwear. "Well, c'mon guys, the underwear's got to come off, too."

"Oh! Yeah. Right," Leonard said embarrassed.

"Are you sure?" Sheldon asked.

"Yes, I'm sure, Sheldon," Penny said amused.

Both men dropped their shorts. Leonard revealed a rock hard, fat, 8" cock. Penny was both surprised and impressed. Sheldon revealed a flaccid, albeit long, tool. If it's that long soft, how big is it going to be when it's hard?! Penny thought to herself. She got moist between her legs thinking about it.

"Holy crap on a cracker! Very nice, boys," she said as she grabbed each man's pole.

Leonard closed his eyes and sighed. Sheldon jumped a little, then relaxed. "Penny, your hands are quite warm and comforting," Sheldon said.

"That's good, Sheldon," she said as she began to stroke each man. "Now let's see if we can get you hard."

"Hard? Why do you want me hard? I don't work out. I don't know if I can be hard."

"Your cock, Sheldon, your cock," Penny said.

"My 'cock'? I don't have any roosters here. The building code forbids it." Sheldon looked confused.

"Your penis, Sheldon!" Wow! Penny thought.

"Oh! Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?"

Leonard was beginning to get annoyed. "Shut up, Sheldon!"

"Yes, Sheldon. Be quiet and try to enjoy it," Penny said in a soothing tone.

"Fine. I'll try."

She could feel Leonard's rod becoming slick with precum while Sheldon's grew in her hand. And grew. And grew. It grew into a slender rod, a full 10" long. I'm gonna like living in this building! she thought to herself.

Both men's eyes were closed, enjoying the touch of a woman for the first time. Sheldon's rod was beginning to glisten with precum also.

"You're right. This is like a massage on my penis!" Sheldon said in a surprised tone.

Penny giggled at the comment. "I'm glad you like it, Sheldon." She turned her attention to Leonard. "Ready, Leonard?" she sexily said.

"Y-y-yes, I think so," he replied nervously. Don't cum! Don't cum! Don't cum! he thought to himself. His heart was racing.

She raised herself up until her mouth hovered over his throbbing tool. Leonard could feel her warm breath. She held the base of his cock firmly and lowered her face down. Its swollen head passed her lips and slid into her mouth. Leonard gasped, then gasped again. It felt like hot velvet wrapped around his rod.

"Ohmagod! Ohmagod! Ohhhhhhmagod!' he moaned as he slid into her throat.

Sheldon watched intently while his friends penis slid into her face until it disappeared completely. His jaw dropped. "That...that...that's incredible! And that feels good, Leonard? You look like you're in pain."

"Ohhhh-ho-ho-ho yeah it feels good! It feels great!" Leonard moaned with his eyes closed. Large Hadron Collider. Klingon. Star Trek. Superman. Homo habilis. Leonard was trying to think of anything other than Penny's throat wrapped around his cock. It wasn't working.

Penny could feel the veins wrapped around Leonard's shaft throb violently in her throat. She knew he was close. The bobbing of her head became more deliberate, her suction harder. The strokes of her hand followed her lips as they slid up and down his pole.

Leonard's fists curled into a ball and drove themselves into the cushions of the couch. "Oh god! Oh god! Ohhhhhhhhh god!"

For the first time in his life, Leonard exploded inside of a woman's mouth. Penny sucked on the head of his cock while stroking its shaft. She felt the warm, thick cum slide down the back of her throat. She expertly gulped and gulped and gulped it down.

Penny released him from her mouth with a pop. His face was red. His forehead was dotted with beads of sweat.

"Leonard! Are you okay?!" Sheldon asked as Penny stroked his long rod. He had never seen his friend in such a state.

"Ohmagawd," he panted. "Yes, I'm okay, Sheldon. I'm better than okay. I'm great!"

"Mmmmmmm, did you like that, sweetie?" Penny purred.

"Ohmagawd, yes. Thank you!"

"My pleasure, sweetie." She slid between Sheldon's legs. "Let's see if we can get you to cum, Sheldon."

"Come? Where are we going?"

"No, Sheldon, 'cum', as in 'ejaculate'," Leonard said in an annoyed tone. Penny shook her head with an amused look on her face as she stroked Sheldon with both hands.

"Oh! I see. I wasn't aware that was the objective."

"Just lean back and relax, Sheldon," Penny said with a comforting voice.

"Yes. Yes. Good idea." Sheldon closed his eyes and leaned back into the couch. Penny looked at Leonard grinning and shaking her head. Leonard shook his head back at her with more of an embarrassed-by-my-friends-ignorance look on his face.

A few moments later Penny asked, "Are you close, Sheldon?"

"Close to what?" he asked without opening his eyes.

"Ejaculating, Sheldon, ejaculating," Leonard said with an annoyed tone.

"Oh. I don't know. How would I know?"

"If you have to ask, then you're not," Penny said. "Let's see if we can speed this up a little." She winked at Leonard.

Penny raised her head over Sheldon's tall mast and paused. She opened her mouth and slowly lowered herself down, continuing to stroke him with both hands. His pole entered the cavity of her mouth. Sheldon sensed a change in the atmospheric pressure around his penis. Not knowing what this "cum" was all about, he thought this might be part of the experience. Penny lowered her face down. The same time the tip of his stick touched the back of her mouth, she clamped down on it.

Sheldon jumped. He opened his eyes and looked down to see the back of Penny's head bobbing up and down.

"OH! No! She's...she's...oh! Ohhhhhhhhh...oh." His body calmed. His penis felt as if hundreds of moist cotton balls were caressing it. "Is this a 'blow job'?" he asked.

"Mmmmmhmmmm, mmmmhmmmm," came Penny's muffled reply while nodding her head.

"Oooooo, that's wonderful," Sheldon sighed. "It's unsanitary, but wonderful." He looked at Leonard. "Why do they call it a 'blow job'? She seems to be sucking?"

"I don't know, Sheldon," Leonard replied, annoyed with his clueless friend. "Just go with it."

"Yes. Go with it. Yes. Good idea."

Try as she might, Penny couldn't take Sheldon's full length in. She gripped him tight with both hands, her hands gliding up and down the length of his shaft with the bobbing of her head.

Moments later, Sheldon felt a throbbing in his groin he had never felt before. It was growing stronger and stronger. Something's gone wrong! he thought. "Something's not right! Leonard, something's not right! I think Penny broke my penis! It feels like...it's going to explode!" he said in a panic.

"Calm down, buddy. You're about to ejaculate. You're about to cum," Leonard said, trying to calm Sheldon down.

"In her mouth?!"

"That's right, buddy! Just go with it. Give her everything you've got!"

"Mmmmhmmmm! Mmmmmhmmmm!" Penny moaned.

"Oh dear Lord! Oh dear Lord! My penis is going to explode! Oh...oh...oh dear Lord!" He gripped the couch tight.

Penny felt the gusher go off in her mouth. Spurt after spurt of the thick, salty substance filled her mouth. My God! So much cum! Doesn't he ever beat off?! she thought. She swallowed as hard and as fast as could trying to keep up with the volume, to no avail. A milky white liquid began to ooze from the corners of her mouth.

The throbbing in her mouth finally ceased. Sheldon collapsed into the couch exhausted. Penny released him from her mouth and looked up at him with a satisfied grin on her face. She wiped the excess cum from her chin and slipped it between her lips with a twinkle in her eye.

"Did you like your blow job, Sheldon?" Penny cooed.

"Did I enjoy it?! I thought my penis was going to explode! I thought I was going to die! And it's completely unsanitary!"

Penny couldn't believe it. "Well, that's a first!"

Leonard waved a dismissive hand in Sheldon's general direction. "Ignore him. I thought it was a lovely blow job."

Penny leaned in and gave Leonard a peck on the cheek. "Awwwww. Thanks, sweetie."

Penny stood up and thought about her day. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm all gross from moving, and the blow jobs, and everything. And my stupid shower doesn't even work."

"Our shower works," Leonard quickly volunteered.

"Really? Would it be totally weird if I used it?" Penny asked.

Sheldon nodded his head. "Yes."

Leonard gave Sheldon a sideways glance. "No."

Sheldon nodded his head again. "Yes."

Leonard ignored him. "It's right down the hall."

"Thanks. You guys are really sweet," she said sincerely and raced off in the direction of the bathroom.

Sheldon looked at Leonard. "Well this is an interesting development. I've never gotten a 'blow job' and we've never had a woman take her clothes off in our apartment."

"That's not true, remember at Thanksgiving my grandmother with Alzheimer's had that episode," Leonard reminded him.

"Point taken. It has been some time since we've had a woman take her clothes off after which we didn't want to rip our eyes out." He paused and looked down at his friend. "So, what exactly are you trying to accomplish here? That woman in there's not going to have sex with you."

"What makes you think she wouldn't have sex with me? She just had her mouth wrapped around my penis!" Leonard looked at the ceiling and said dreamily, "Our children will be both smart and beautiful."

"Not to mention imaginary," Sheldon said scornfully. "Do you think this possibility will be helped or hindered when she discovers your Luke Skywalker no-more-tears shampoo?"

"It's Darth Vader shampoo. Luke Skywalker's the conditioner."

Just then, Howard and Raj came busting through the door. Howard was holding a case of some sort in his hand, waving it excitedly. "Wait till you see this! It's a Stephen Hawking lecture from MIT in 1974. It's before he became a creepy computer voice."

"It's fantastic. Unbelievable," Raj said breathlessly.