A.N: This was originally a story based on the song ‘The Perfect Drug’ by Nine Inch Nails, but I have removed the lyrics for copyright purposes. It’s also part of a series, but is a stand-alone story. As background, you should know that Jack Jay used to work for the CIA but was fired after a terribly accident occurred.
I stared out the window, waiting for some view of my future. The car park outside the window was still, but the office behind me was busy. People moving around, filing cabinets opening and closing, and the incessant click of fingers on keyboards. Usually I managed to remain focused- I wasn’t the type to skip up halfway though and stand around near the water cooler –but today I just couldn’t concentrate on something so mundane as paper work. He was supposed to pick me up, you see. I’d been sitting staring out the window for a couple of hours now… and I had another 30 minutes before Alex was due to arrive… and, knowing him, he’d enjoy keeping me waiting and add on another 10.
A tap on my shoulder. I turned and saw Jade, the youngest in the Preventers’ office, and therefore the only person around eligible for the title ‘coffee-girl’. “You want something, Mr Jay? You’ve been staring out there all afternoon,” she said, smiling down at me. I knew what it was like to be in her position. It was one of those times where you had to kiss everyone’s ass before they walked through the door- whether you liked it or not. But, then, I’d noticed she acted a little differently around me. It was probably my reputation. The rumoured background working for the CIA. However, if I didn’t know better, I would say she fancied me. I wasn’t exactly at the top of the chain of workers, but I had the respect of all the officials. And, yet, at the same time, they all looked down on me- they all thought I was just a heartless soldier who knew no other way. Perhaps I was- but who really cared? People thought that if they dared to accuse me in so many words, then they wouldn’t go home with their head intact.
“No,” I replied after a long pause, and looked out of the window again. Everything remained still, even the trees… there was no breeze at all. Jade didn’t move from behind me. “What?” I asked her without turning around.
“Who are you waiting for?”
I wasn’t sure if she knew I was gay. She might have had an inkling, she seemed pretty damned intuitive from what I had see of her. But I didn’t know, most people didn’t twig it until they actually saw me with Alex. Then there was no mistaking it. I decided not to answer her question.
“Ah, it’s a girl, then,” she said as she walked away. “Or maybe not…”
I knew he had something planned for us. Something special. But I didn’t know how his mind worked; my mind raced through possibility after possibility… but I got the feeling that the single one I hadn’t considered would be the one he would try. It always worked like that. The single exception to the rule- that was Alex.
Maybe Alex was my redemption? Keeping me waiting could have been my punishment for all those… those who I’d killed. But was it done in vain? Did we have peace because of all those sacrificed, or was it worthless? Everyone had a different opinion. There were those who thought I was amazing because I had the skill to create so much destruction. There were those who thought all the others and I had taken the wrong route to achieve total pacifism. And then there were the many who had forgotten we had even existed, and just thought we were meaningless pawns in the game of the war. What they had to remember was that it was sometimes to pawn that took the king.
Perhaps he was the only person who saw me for who I was, and visa versa. He’d seen me with every barrier let down; he’d seen my soul. He’d been inside me. And there was nothing more frightening to me than that… but there was also nothing I wanted more than to feel that complete abandon again. It was perfection and completion and clarity all in one. He was just like me one, one of the five elite. There could be no one better. We were the elite, though never said it in so many words. It was only right that we were together. We were one in the same, with the same problems and the same cures.
The trees rustled once, and a sleek black Lamborghini pulled into the entrance of the parking lot. It parked directly under the window I sat near, but no one got out. I got the hint.
I raced down the stairs, mindless of anyone staring as I flew around the corners. They didn’t make a difference to me. There was only one thing I wanted, and that was now on the ground floor. He knew I had been watching him, he knew I had seen him, so he hadn’t bothered to get out, in favour of a much more seductive mystery. I tried to slow myself down; even now I didn’t like to appear to him with much of a weakness… it was an on-going competition to one-up each other.
I got down and out the front doors of the Preventers HQ in record time, slowing to a walk as I rounded the corner where Alex sat. I couldn’t see his face from outside, but the passenger door to the Lamborghini rose up as I approached, so I could look inside. I sunk down into the leather interior, and glanced across at my inventive lover- looking for some clue of the coming events. Strangely, he wasn’t dressed up. He wore a pair of tight Levi’s, stained with oil and grass and grease, and a tight black Nine Inch Nails t-shirt… the same thing as he would have been wearing if he were working at Hilde’s breaker’s yard. I guess I was expecting something less… normal, like he was planning to take me to a restaurant or go clubbing or something. But, no… I didn’t really care though, he was beautiful whatever he wore… and that glint in his eye told me he was certainly up to something.
Without a word of greeting, he closed the door and swung the car out of the parking lot. I noticed he took a turn that took us in the opposite direction to our apartment. I looked in the back of the car, but he hadn’t brought anything with him. He glanced over to me occasionally, but neither of us said a word. I wasn’t going to even bother asking him where we were going; I knew he wouldn’t tell me. He just took us through the city in a rush, taking us down streets I didn’t even know existed. He was deliberately trying to disorientate me, so I didn’t know where we were going to end up.
We hit the fringes of the city, travelling fast through suburbia until we came to a wooded area. There was a road lined with trees that remained a healthy green no matter what the weather. Alex drove easily, and the sand and gravel and earth pathway crunched and slid nicely as he turned into the driveway of a small wooden cabin. He looked over at me, and smiled somewhat maliciously as the door on my side automatically opened.
I stepped out, and he met me, waiting until he was behind me as I walked to the door. He placed a hand at the base of my spine and guided me towards the entrance, as he reached into his other pocket for a key. He unlocked the door, and let me go in first. It didn’t go unnoticed to me that he locked the door behind him.
The cabin was just one room. A shower in one corner, a kitchen area and table in the other- but the entire room was dominated by a huge four-poster bed, with blood red silk drapes hanging from the roof of the bed and from the window frames. I just watched, smirking slightly, as Alex made his way systematically around the room, closing the curtains over each of the windows in turn… darkening the entire room except for an eerie red glow. I took a couple of steps further into the room, and Alex gestured with one hand to the bed. I sat down on the edge of it, still smiling at him.
“Strip,” he said.
His harsh command took me by surprise, but it also gave me an idea of what he had in store. I didn’t have it in me to object. I didn’t want to.
He sat down on one of the chairs in one area of the room and I loosed the knot in my tie and slid it off over my head, leaving it to lie on the floor. I locked eyes with him as I began to slowly undo the buttons on the front of my shirt. He just sat there, completely unaffected, not taking his lustful eyes off of mine, legs and arms crossed as he watched. His long hair was slung absently over his shoulder, and I longed to touch it, unravel it and run my fingers through it. I could get lost for days in his mass of chestnut hair.
I slipped the cotton of the shirt off over my shoulder, and rose to my feet as I did so. It hung at the bend of my arms for a moment, and then slid silently off me, falling to the floor in a crumpled heap. His eyes followed it’s movements- and then his gaze raked back over and up my chest to meet mine. I could never get over quite how good his eyes were… the unusual pools of blue that could display any and every emotion simultaneously without making it seem odd. You wouldn’t find eyes like that on anyone else in the universe but Alex Rosen…
My hands moved enticingly down my torso, and I began to slowly fumble with my belt clasp as I toed off my shoes. I kicked them away, and pulled the belt out of the loops in my slacks. His smile widened slightly, and he moved a hand to rest a finger knowingly on his lips. All I wanted to do was jump over to him, rip off his clothes and tell him to take me however he wanted. It was taking all my self-control to not try and take command of the situation. But I knew what he wanted today…
I would have been glad to get the trousers off, they just seemed to be getting tighter and tighter. Alex watching me so avidly was turning me on even more than all the possibilities that had been rushing through my head. My head was working a mile a minute with possible situations and ideas that Alex could have planted in his head, but I wanted him to run the show. As I said before, he would think of something that my imagination wouldn’t even stretch near to.
I pulled off my socks while still standing, and undid the fly on my trousers, stepping backwards and kicking them away as I wriggled out of them. I stood there in a pair of ordinary white briefs, but I could see the twinkle in Alex’s eyes all the same. He nodded as I looked at him questioningly, and I slipped my thumbs into the waistband of the briefs, and slipped them down my legs. I stepped backwards again, and found myself sitting on the huge bed. I wriggled backwards, so I was about in the middle, and raised my knees slightly. I knew exactly what Alex couldn’t resist.
He slowly rose from the chair and made his way over to stand at the end of the bed. I lay there, staring up at him from between my legs. I saw his eyes drink in every part of me, everything exposed to him.
After a moment, he moved around to one side of the bed, and opened a drawer in one of the small bedside cabinets. He pulled out a small bundle of red cloth, and I eyed it suspiciously. He noticed my hesitation and began to explain as he wrapped slender fingers around my right wrist.
“Just relax,” he said, removing a strip of red material from the bundle. He gently brought my hand up to one of the bedposts. “I’ve hired this place for three days.” He wrapped the red cloth tightly around my wrist, and knotted it. It shone and felt smooth against my skin, like silk. I wouldn’t put it past him. “We’re miles away from civilisation…” he looped the other end of the silk around the bedpost and knotted it tightly, pulling it a couple of times to make sure it wouldn’t come loose. Then he moved around the bed, aware of my eyes glued to him, and copied his movements on my other arm. “So, you can make as much noise as you want.”
I smiled at him, not entirely aware of what he was doing. Even if it was him, I wasn’t entirely sure if I liked the idea of being tied to anything. I preferred to be in control… But then again, perhaps this wasn’t a half bad idea. Alex stood at the end of the bed again, and I looked at him over my knees. Noticing my trouble with seeing him, he placed a gentle but firm hand on each knee, and pushed them away from each other, so my legs lay almost as spread as they would go. He eyed parts of me that I couldn’t see, and then moved up to my side again, holding the last strip of red silk. “Head up,” he said. I did so. He wrapped the silk around my head, over my eyes. I tensed as he began to tie a knot. “Just calm down, I’m not going to hurt you… much.” He laughed as he made sure I couldn’t see anything. I didn’t say a word.
The darkness was everywhere. My senses were suddenly alight. I didn’t think I’d felt quite like this before. I could feel every little movement of the air in the room. It ran across my skin, toying with my senses, sending ripples and chills up my spine. The silk was tantalising against my skin, offering the little stimulation I could get. I had also surmised that the bed sheets were made of a similar fabric, rustling when I moved. I could hear Alex moving about the room, but his footsteps were quiet- stealth having always been his speciality. There was the ripping sound of a match against lighter paper; I guessed he was lighting a candle or something else I couldn’t see. Then there was his foreboding, quick exhalation of breath as he extinguished the match. He had been somewhere over to my right, but now he was nowhere to be found again.
His movements were only a slight shuffle that was unbelievably hard to pick up on. And, certainly, deprivation of one sense heightened the other four to amazing levels. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was about to do, the suspense was killing me. The problem being that my imagination wasn’t great at the best of times- let alone tied to a bed with a raging hard-on. He could have done anything to me while I was lying here.
Suddenly, a patch of heat passed over me- a soft caress of breath against my cheek- sending a tingle up my spine, causing my entire body to shiver. Then, warmth brushed my lips, left again and then returned- hot and firm and gentle all at the same time. All I could feel was Alex’s mouth against mine, everything abandoned into the darkness that engulfed me. His tongue probed, and I willingly parted my lips for him- allowing that hot, wet muscle to intrude, so I could taste him properly.
Suddenly he left my mouth, in favour of planting a hot, wet kiss on my jaw, and then fleeting butterfly kisses were laid in a trail up to my ear. Feeling nothing but the gentle warmth, teasing and then leaving- I moaned deep in my throat. I could feel Alex smile against my skin, a soft chuckle escaping him. He trailed up to my ear, pausing to run a tongue around the lobe, nipping the flesh softly between him teeth. I shivered. And then his mouth began to move down across my chest…
A path of fiery pleasure running down my chest… and then it suddenly ran cold. He was gone again, and my ears strained to locate my crafty lover. My chest still burned for his caress, but the only thing that would quench that fire was his return. I could hear him move about the bed… around to the other side, but I could not work out what he was doing. A chill ran across my body again, like someone had opened up a window and it was snowing outside- though I knew it was like an Indian summer outdoors. I whimpered.
Each of my nerves was on fire, shivers and tingles coming from impossible places- and my brain wasn’t exactly helping me gain control. I was away; eyes probably rolled up into my head… the endless options… I could feel him moving around, but I couldn’t tell what he was doing…
I couldn’t believe I was doing this, and it was taking all my self-control not to try and escape. This was 12 years worth of intensive training down the drain. It half made me wonder why I was doing it- was it just ‘kinky thrills’ or was it something more? I knew we hadn’t lived out all of Alex’s fantasies yet, but… was it a more internal thing? Did Alex finally feel the need to do this to me after all the times I had treated him badly- like when I punched him in the gut to make it look like there had been a fight between the two of us and James? Or was it that Alex needed to clarify that he still had the control in the relationship, since I was mostly seme…? Or was it me who needed this? A dive into reality, and opportunity to let go? Alex did have a way of seeing me like that…
It sent another tingle rushing up my spine, but this time it was more mental than physical. The fear hit me like a wall- and the excitement heightened along with it. I could feel my mouth curve into a frightened smile, and I could do nothing to stop it. My wrists were straining against the restraints- I knew that I could probably break them easily if I wanted to, but my mind was holding me back- my training the only thing forcing me on.
I was close to breaking point- but then a warm hand was placed on my chest, and I immediately calmed. I knew exactly why I was doing this. I was doing it because I loved him. And because he loved me…
Alex was perfect… and purer than I could ever be. Those perfect looks were just the surface, the hair that swayed and brushed against the curve of his ass as he walked… The cobalt eyes that seemed deeper than space itself… The devilish features that had been hardened off into manhood after years of life on the streets…
But that wasn’t it. Not only was he the most beautiful man I had ever met- he was also the kindest, and the cleverest, and the most understanding. Alex had a way of seeing things alike no one else- a unique perspective on life. It was amazing how all his years on his own hadn’t skewed his vision of other people- he was still just as trusting as ever, and amazingly outgoing. It was superb, he was just so strong…
And Alex was all I needed to survive. He was like oxygen, like water, like… like… without him I would die- everything would fall to pieces. He knew what to do and when, he knew everything about me- and I knew everything about him, even if I hadn’t always been good at showing my emotions. But there was nothing more I needed than him…
Alex’s hand didn’t move from my chest- but the bed dipped down as he transferred his weight to it. I kept my legs spread, and I felt him crawl over to kneel between them. Bare skin brushed tenderly against my thigh. He resumed his trail from earlier, lips brushing lightly against my chest- running across my collarbone and over heated flesh. He was moving so slowly… I cried aloud at such a miniscule stimulation. I pulled against the restraints again, but I wasn’t trying to get away.
Alex’s mouth moved- but he ran a warm finger up my side- right the way up my arm. I shivered and moaned again- for some reason I just couldn’t keep quiet today… His hand moved slowly and enticingly down my side again, and rested on my hip- keeping me still. I could hear nothing but my own heavy breathing and my heartbeat- the loud rushing of my blood in my ears.
Alex’s lips fell over mine, and I moaned into the kiss. His mouth wandered down again and met with one of my nipples- sending me arching away from the bed with a cry. He held me still, and proceeded to suck and lick expertly at the hardened nub of flesh- bringing his teeth down on it once or twice, making my cock twitch in response, before moving to the other nipple. All I could feel was his mouth there, but there was a little tickle as one of his hands moved up from between my thigh and…
“Alex!!” I cried as he took my arousal into his hand and pumped it slower than I thought possible. I was on fire- I could have come right then and there, but he wasn’t about to let me get that far. I was on edge, every touch like razor blades and sandpaper to my skin. And yet, there was total darkness- multicolour flashes passing my vision every couple of seconds, like fireworks of ecstasy in my head. I threw my head back against the pillow- but there was nothing I could do to help myself. I wanted to touch him- I wanted to touch myself, for Christ’s sake. There was nothing more in this world…