Performance Review

When I was a kid, I was the one that nobody fucked with, and I mean nobody. It wasn't that I was the biggest or the strongest, but the whole school knew that I'd never give up. The crowd around the playground fights would walk away saying "Man, Jack has balls," and they were right, I didn't put up with shit from anyone.

In forth grade, they kicked me out of school for two weeks for a little altercation. This big bully started to tease me about something that I don't remember now, so I jumped over his desk and gave him a black eye. It was all so serious, every one in the school got involved. I had to see a councilor for months to try and control my anger, it probably was looked on so seriously because the bully was my teacher. Well, he should have kept his fucking comments to himself.

After that, the only ones that would pick on me were the new kids that didn't know any better. I would change that in a hurry, they knew when I was finished with them. I think the last fight I was in was in seventh grade, by then everyone knew not to fuck with Jack. I could walk the halls without fear, not even the football players dared to mess with me. That's all I ever wanted, respect. I didn't ever treat anyone badly, I'd never started a fight, but I finished quite a few.

My old man taught me that sometimes you had to fight for what's right, nobody else would do it for you, at least to your satisfaction. To be truly satisfied with the results, you had to see them to the end. If that means you are getting your ass kicked for most of the fight, well, so be it. As long as you are vindicated in the end, the bruises would heal, but if you walked away before the fight was over, you deserved what you got.

I guess that lesson finally worked its way into my thick head, he wasn't only talking about fist fights. He was trying to teach me about life, it's clear now what he meant for me to learn. I saw it as a lesson about physical toughness most of my life, but it wasn't, it had to do with success and failure. He was a pretty smart man now that I look back on it, not bad at all for an old farm boy.

***

Goddamn, I hate these little get togethers in the HR office, they leave me feeling one inch tall. It doesn't matter if he chews on my ass or gives me a hug, I still hate them. Why can't he just walk right up and tell you you're doing a fine job? But no, you have to sit in that fucking chair like a little school boy, while he reads directly off of that stupid ass form. Fuck, I can read, why do we have to go through this silly ritual every six months?

Well, if any of you have had to sit through a performance evaluation, then you know why. If you want that raise you deserve, or that promotion you've been waiting for, you endure the humiliation. You sit there and listen to a guy with less education, tell you where "HE'D" like to see you six months from now.

"That fucking tears it," I thought to myself as I closed the door. I'd gotten exemplary reviews every six months for the last nine years, and I'd gotten the same today. But I was pissed off beyond comprehension, he didn't really say that to me did he? That little baldheaded fuck, how dare he assume that I didn't spend enough time interfacing with the people that worked under me.

They were in my office asking questions of me more than they worked, the other times I was out on the floor solving all of their problems with them.

It's a wonder that I got anything done at all, and I did only because I put in sixty to eighty hours a week. I felt like jamming my review up the little fucker's ass, I didn't mind the extra work, hell, I like my job. But the ungrateful prick, had to write something in the little box to justify his own existence. I'd busted my hump for SMS. As one of the first employees, nobody in the company knows more about this place than me.

Starting as a system engineer, I'd then gone into sales, and now I'm the production manager. We handle a variety of electronics for the medical industry. It's all very specialized, almost all are custom designs.

To get to the point of what I've already told you. I'm in a position to start my own company, with the knowledge, the experience, and the skills, I only lack the dollars. That's a pretty important component, but from my point of view, not the most important. Listening to that slug from human resources today sealed the deal for me. It would take every cent I had, and I'd be in hock up to my eyeballs, but it was something worth fighting for.

Ok, I'm done ranting now. I let things build up inside, I vent a little and after a few deep breaths I'm fine. I might have given you the impression that I'm some crazy walking time bomb. No, not really, just a little exercise I use to clear the stress. I've actually been working towards my own business for about five years.

SMS has been a great place to work, and I'm really going to miss it here. My time here gave me some great opportunities, I had the time while I was in the sales division to earn my Masters degree. The business contacts I've made will prove to be invaluable.

My plan is to resign in about six months, right after I complete my tenth year with SMS. I've talked it over with the headcheese, and I have his blessing. The boss and I go back to the beginning of the company, Steve Styles, is the S in SMS, Styles Micro Systems. He is totally behind me in my decision to go out on my own, especially since I don't plan to compete directly with him. My new company will actually bring a lot of new business to Steve.

Now my wife on the other hand, is not real pleased with my leaving SMS. She has grown quite attached to my six-figure salary. Carrie is quite happy to help the bank keep our balance low enough for more money to fit into our account. It has started to concern me where our marriage is headed, sometimes she makes me feel like a paycheck with a penis attached.

If you're thinking I'm venting again, you've missed it. I'm saddened by the state of our relationship, I hate to see eight good years go to waste. I love Carrie, or at least I did, I don't know any more. She's changed, and I'm not sure when or why. I spend so much time at work these days, it's hard to pinpoint where things went wrong.

We were so in love when we were younger, and then the money came, and with it came the hours and responsibilities. She complains about the hours I keep, and how I don't have time for her. When I offered to cut back, she wouldn't hear of it. She couldn't bear to part with the salary that goes with the added hours.

Some things in my life are crystal clear, and others have become murky like dishwater. While I have the utmost confidence in my ability to succeed with my new business venture, I see my personal life swirling around in circles, you know, like right before it disappears at the bottom of the toilet. Is this what I want? Or am I prepared to fight for Carrie?

That's what my old man would tell me to do, "Fight for it if you want it boy." I suppose, I've grown complacent though, it's been a long time since I've thrown a punch, so to speak. I seem to be at a crossroads. One road will be a long uphill battle to try to save something I'm not sure either of us wants anymore, the other leads to somewhere I've never been before. To walk out, just slip away, end the fight before it ever starts. If I knew that I was battling for the girl that I'd married, I proudly stand chained and naked before satin himself, and spit in his eye with insolence. My heart says, Carrie is not that girl, not anymore.

As I dragged my sorry ass through the door, Carrie informed me, not asked me, that we would be going to dinner at Dirk and Paula's on Saturday. It had been a bitch of a week, and I was looking forward to staying home to lick my wounds, maybe even lick Carrie if the opportunity presented. Not wanting to fight over such a minor thing, I relented.

Dirk and Paula are friends of ours, well, friends of Carrie's to be more accurate. Dirk works for SMS in sales, mostly though, he is a loud mouthed prick. He doesn't know how to make a sale, he knows how to bullshit, and he's good at it. We all call him, Dirk the used car salesman. His wife Paula, is a different story though. She's sweet and kind, the type of woman any man would love to have as a wife. The only thing negative I could tell you about Paula, is that she's married to Dick, oops, I mean Dirk.

Dinner was good, and I was relaxing with my forth or fifth glass of wine. The girls were finishing up in the kitchen, and I didn't give a shit where Dirk was, but I was extremely happy that wherever he was, it was away from me. They all came to join me, and ruined my space. We drank more wine, and generally chilled and talked.

When Dirk pulled out his stash of weed, I gave Carrie a look telling her it was time to leave. She totally ignored me, and concentrated on the way Dirk deftly rolled a joint. I glanced at Paula with a what the fuck look, she was already turned away in embarrassment. I knew from experience that I'd be wasting my time complaining to Dirk, so I didn't bother. Dirk lit the doobie, and inhaled the acrid smoke.

He offered it to me, but I held up my hand stopping him. I wanted no part of this lunacy. As I'd expected, Paula also refused, but I was shocked at Carrie. Not by the fact that she took the goddamned thing, but at the way she did it. Carrie sucked the smoke down like oxygen to a drowning man. It was blatantly obvious that she's done this before, and I don't mean back in college. You don't hold smoke that easy on your first time in ten years, no way. I'd puffed a lot of dope in my early years. This wasn't new to Carrie.

What happened next was far beyond my comprehension, it's the only reason I can give myself for not stopping things. Carrie stood before me, and then straddled my legs, she bent at the knees and sat on my thighs facing me. As I looked up at her face, she smothered my mouth with hers. This was the most passion I'd seen from Carrie in a long time.

The sheer power of her kiss made me forget we weren't alone. My hands were on her ass pulling her crotch to my hardening cock. Carrie sat back, and in one motion removed her top. Just as quickly, her bra was on the floor. As I reached for her hard nipples, she'd opened my pants. Carrie stepped back, and pulled my pants and underwear to my ankles. She then removed her jeans, and stood before me naked for all to see.

Dirk and Paula had been busy themselves, they only had one sock on between the two of them. As exposed as I was, I was over dressed compared to the other three. Carrie motioned for Paula to join us, and in seconds they were both on their knees sucking my aching dick. It was happening all to fast to react, Carrie and I had never even discussed this as a fantasy, and now it was real, and it was up close and personal.

When I next opened my eyes, Paula was still intently gobbling my knob, but Carrie had moved across the room. It was so surreal, this was starting to look like a bad porn film. Dirk had Carrie bent over a chair and was just entering her. Paula was on the floor now on all fours, asking me to fuck her from behind. For a millisecond, I considered it. Paula was certainly asking for it, but my half-drunk brain had finally made an appearance.

I stood up, and pulled my pants to the proper placement for mixed company. This was crazy, I wasn't like this. As I zipped up, there was that feeling again. Carrie was used to this, too familiar with the way Dirk pounded into her. Before I killed them all, I turned and walked out the door.

Before I could start the car, Paula, now in a dressing gown, slid in next to me.

"What's wrong Jack? Is it me?"

"What? Is what you?"

"Don't you find me attractive enough?"

"Just wait a minute, that has nothing to do with it. This is wrong, it's all wrong. Married people shouldn't act like this. I'd expect this kind of thing from that asshole Dirk, but not from you Paula, and especially not from Carrie. I knew Carrie used to be a little wild, but for God sakes, she's my wife now. I thought I knew her better than this."

"Jack, Dirk told me you were ok with this"

"I'm far from ok with this, and what the fuck would make that son-of-a-bitch think I would be? Just go away Paula, I'm in no mood to talk right now"

"Carrie said you needed something to spice things up, she said you were in a rut."

"What! You fix a relationship by fucking other people? That's the stupidest shit I ever heard. Why'd you go along with this? I'm real interested in hearing your lame ass excuse," and I was all of a sudden interested, maybe she could shed some light on this fucked up situation.

"I'm sorry Jack, I did it because I don't care anymore. I'm going to leave Dirk, it's just a matter of time. I agreed because it was you, I would have never ever done this for anyone else. Dirk has wanted me to swap before, but I always told him no. When he brought it up again a couple of weeks ago I was going to leave him then. But when he told me it was you, I agreed. I had already decided to divorce Dirk, so it wasn't like I'd be cheating on my wedding vows. I'm ashamed to admit it Jack, but I want you, I dream about making love to you."

Hmm, that was interesting, "Paula, I've got a serious suspicion that we've both been used. They seemed awfully comfortable with each other, did you notice? I also think they used you to get me to keep me busy, and it almost worked. Are you sure you're not the one that put this into Carrie's head?"

"God no, how could you even think that Jack?"

"I don't know what to think. Before tonight I knew my marriage wasn't what it once was, but now it's over and I don't have a clue why. She's still in there fucking your husband, and we're sitting out in the car talking about it. Doesn't it seem a little strange to you? I should be in there beating the shit out of those two, but they're not worth the effort."

"It's kind of funny Jack, I don't even care what he's doing. I've lost every bit of feeling that I ever had for him."

"Well I can understand that, I find myself caring less and less every minute. Look Paula, I can't tell you what to do, but it would be better for both of us not to tell them that they're both looking down the barrel of a divorce for the time being. Can you do that for me Paula?"

"Ok Jack, and I'm sorry about tonight," she touched my face with her finger tips.

"Paula, did you mean what you said, about not doing it with anyone else?"

"Yes, only with you," she said with a blush.

From a purely logical standpoint, the whole incident made no sense. Why the fuck would Carrie assume that I'd go along with wife swapping. That wasn't something that interested me in the least, I'm willing to share anything but my wife. I'm pretty one-way in that respect. If Carrie needed to spice up her sex life, she'd have to do it as the single woman she was about to become.

I went to bed as soon as got to the house, I had no desire to deal with Carrie's bullshit when or if she got home. Pretending to be asleep when she slipped into bed, I fought the urge to get away from her. Carrie snuggled up behind me in the spoon position, draping her arm over me. I kept my temper in check until I felt the rhythmic sounds of sleep overtake her. I slipped out of bed, and retired to the living room couch for the night.

Hours had passed, and sleep finally came. I wished it hadn't. The dreams of Carrie and Dirk woke me in a cold sweat. I'd been humiliated more this week than I'd been since grade school. The more I thought about it, the more I remembered the satisfaction of giving my teacher a black-eye.

Early Sunday morning, I called Paula and asked her to meet me for breakfast. I wanted to discuss an idea with her, a plan that may provide us both with a modicum of justice. My fists were again prepared for the bruises and swelling, it would feel good, to again, teach the folly of fucking with Jack. It was not the lesson my father intended, but a lesson I learned all too well.

Paula proved to be like a ray of sunshine to my overcast mood, and she was eager to help with what I'd asked. We enjoyed our cold pancakes and over cooked eggs, there is a lot to be said for pleasant company with bad food. I now had the distasteful task of facing Carrie. As I finished the last of my now cold coffee, my hand instinctively reached down to see if I still had the same pair of 'balls' I'd had when I was younger.

Carrie was on the attack when I walked through the door, but I'd verified, and my 'balls' were where they'd always been. I knew how to handle her, what was she going to do threaten me with divorce? Ha!

"What the hell happened to you last night? Why'd you run off and leave me there?" she asked with a peeved tone.

"Well darling, if you hadn't been so involved with that cock that was shoved in you, you might have paid attention long enough to realize I was sick to my stomach," I replied in the same manner.

"Why didn't you say something? We could have both left if you weren't felling well. I'm sorry baby, that was selfish of me."

"Whatever," I answered disinterestedly.

"When did you start feeling bad? You seemed to be enjoying Paula's attention the last I knew."

"It must have been the smoke, or something I ate. Or yet again, maybe it was watching my wife get fucked in front of me. What the hell was that all about?" now I was asking the questions.

"Baby I just thought... you know. We've been in kind of a slump, and I was trying to..."

"The next time you start making decisions regarding OUR marriage, you'd better fill me in before the fact. I don't appreciate being blind sided like that, and if it ever happens again without discussing it first, I'm out the door. I mean it Carrie, that was complete bullshit. I'm not saying it might not have been fun, but that isn't the kind of thing you decide without the others permission."

Perfect, I walked away with the upper hand, and the seed had also been planted that I might agree to a rematch. I sulked the rest of the day for good measure, Carrie was doing everything in her power to make it up to me. She was acting like she really cared about me again, and I played it for all it was worth.

Right before dinner, I rummaged through my nightstand drawer. My doctor had given me a prescription for the little blue helper pills a year ago when I was dealing with a lot of stress at work. I really didn't need them anymore under normal circumstances, but tonight was going to be anything but normal. I planned on fucking Carrie until she was raw, let's just say, something to remember me by.

As I'd hoped, Carrie started to seduce me as we ate. Her foot was busy from my ankle to my crotch throughout the meal. The pills I'd taken had my cock throbbing, ready or not Carrie, here I cum. I didn't even bother with the preliminaries, I fucked her hard on a half eaten plate of mashed potatoes and gravy. I finished the rest of my roast beef while I banged away at Carries swollen pussy. I'd given up using the silverware, I was feeding both of us with my hands.

I shoveled a handful of green beans into Carrie's mouth, she tried to chew and moan at the same time as I plowed into her, "Njack monk mmee harner, mmm no yens," I wasn't sure, but I think she wanted me to fuck her harder. I poured the remain gravy over her now exposed tits, and rubbed a dinner roll over her greasy nipples and I shoved the whole thing into my mouth. While I was happily chewing away, I rolled Carrie to her knees. I had a handful of half melted butter that I slathered on the crack of her ass, her head jerked to face me as I stood on the chair. She knew what was coming, we'd never done this before, but she knew.

As I entered her ass, she dropped her face into the bowl of salad. Carrie screamed through the lettuce, "Ooh, fuck yes, mmm Jack, I'm cumming oooh," as I globed a scoop of warm potatoes on her sensitive clit. I have to tell you, Carrie is not much of a cook, but this was a dinner fit for a king. It was without a doubt the most enjoyable meal we'd ever had, and she was about to get dessert.