Personal Space Ch. 03: Contact

"Ah, please. Stop. You and your big... Give me a moment."

I arched an eyebrow. Well.

If she was going to be complimenting me on my size, I guessed I could let her recover. I raised my head some and chuckled at how spent she looked. Her pretty wide eyes narrowed to a glare as she wiped the sweat from her brow. "It's not funny."

I grinned and shook my head. "Nope. Apologies, Captain Lisa." She slapped me on the chest. I began moving my hips again, my cock angling inside of her. "Don't start things you can't finish," I sang.

But she wasn't in the mood for another pounding now. Instead, she pulled me in and hugged me tighter than ever before, sighing as I held her close. We laid like this for the longest time. I felt a tear when I kissed her cheek, but I let it happen. Something told me she just needed this moment, so I continued planting kisses on her wet face. "It's alright," I whispered.

"Please come back to me after the mission," I heard her say. I tried to look at her but she wouldn't let me move. "Promise me. Please. Please come back." Her shoulders jerked.

-"Hey hey..." I patted her awkwardly. "Of course I'll come back. How could I not? No co-pilot has an ass like yours." She laughed despite herself.

-"You're a bastard," she repeated, and I nodded.

-"I'm your bastard. And I adore you. And if there is any reason for me to come back after any mission, it's you." Her fingers stroked through my hair and she kissed my cheek in turn.

I wiggled my hips just a little, so she would feel me there. My erection had all but faded, but there was still a strong tension in my groin. She didn't have to deal with it if she didn't want to, I just... let her know it was there.

She sighed deeply, as if letting the emotions escape her. Another kiss. After a little while, she spoke. "Put me on top of you."

I didn't want to slip out of her as I was turning, but couldn't help it. I sat up and sat her on my lap, straddling me. She looked like a bit of a mess, as I wiped her face dry. She smiled and turned her face into my hand. Much better.

I couldn't grasp how beautiful she looked, with those perky breasts and small nipples, those strong shoulders, and the curve of her waist. Only now did I notice that she still had her heavy boots on. God, that looked sexy.

I stroked every part of her, and she let me. She even pushed herself up a little when I reached her behind, bringing her tits to my face. Gently, I teased her nipples with my mouth while she played with my hair.

Then suddenly, she broke away from be and backed up. My hands felt strangely empty but I didn't care, as she knelt before me and pulled my pants completely off me. Like her, I was now naked.

With bashful green eyes staring up at me, she leaned in and ran her tongue sweetly over the head of my flaccid penis. She did it again, surprising me with how good it felt. I was almost disappointed when I felt the blood rush back into my member.

I was still wet from her, but she didn't seem to care. Quite the contrary, she worshipped me, with both hands and her mouth on me. "My God," I gasped when she lapped along the shaft and sucked the head into her mouth.

Fingers explored me, teasing under my balls while she coaxed me to a full erection with her lips and tongue. I loved how sloppy she was being, licking everywhere, scratching my inner thighs, wetting my cock with her mouth. She would run the head along her cheek, nipping at it, cradling my cock in both hands and guiding it back into her greedy little mouth.

She let me play with her hair and stroke her face, ever so gently. She started making little mewing sounds as she was getting into it, and I petted her while she sucked me. Fingers were gripping me now, jerking me off while her mouth followed suit. One hand cupped my balls and played with them, nails tickling my scrotum. It was quickly becoming too much.

I couldn't help myself as I gripped her hair and forced her to keep going as she was. My back arched and my whole body locked up, and then my orgasm exploded from me. I heard her gasp and swallow as I gave her all my pent up seed in a violent release of energy.

When I came to, I found her laying on the couch beside me, her head in my lap. My hand was on her breast, I couldn't remember who put it there. She closed her eyes and murmured her consent as I stroked my palm over her naked body, squirming slowly under my touch.

Those damn boots, huge on her small feet, were almost too much. I promised myself to tell her later. But first things first.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

-----

Lisa tossed the paper ball back to me while a heavily augmented man explained the political implications of having a base so close to uncharted territory. The scientists seemed to find all this interesting, but I personally wished I was still in bed. I hid the crumpling of the next piece of paper under a cough.

The ensuing high-brow discussion last an hour easily, and I made sure Lisa wasn't paying too much attention. But when the details of our mission came up, both of us were all ears.

The dozen scientists present had a lot of difficult questions for Adam, and it seemed that with every implied accusation, he looked a little smaller, just nodding as everyone in the room drew conclusions for him. I rapped my knuckles on the table then, and spoke up.

"Since not a single one of you ever did a spacewalk, let alone their first, let me explain that your virgin mission outside is something like playing Russian roulette."

I felt all eyes on me. I could tell my interruption was unwelcome, but I didn't care.

"What was it, four percent?" Lisa nodded. "Four percent of the men and women out there suffer permanent psychological damage on their first spacewalk, and are from that point unfit to do work in space because of panic attacks, night terrors and such. As if that's not enough to worry about, a percentage of those people end up dead. Some from accidents, most from suicide."

"On Lisa's first walk, she blacked out and had to be saved. Me, I never even made it out of the airlock. So if you're going to be playing the blame game, blame the idiot who thought him right for the job, or blame me, who had the final decision."

I was raising my voice and I knew it, but couldn't bring myself to caring. "Adam carried out his work and this whole scene shows a lack of respect for the people working for you."

I finally managed to shut myself up and sat back down, throwing back the glass of water they had provided so generously. I felt Lisa squeeze my hand, supporting me despite the drama I was making.

The board rounded off that point on the agenda quite abruptly, and showing far less arrogance than before. I felt strangely relieved, mostly because I managed to make them tone it down a notch, but also because I finally get something off my chest that had, apparently, been bothering me for much longer. Just because we made the job look easy, didn't give them the right to pretend that it was.

The different issues of the test run were brought up and discussed one by one, and with my personal thoughts out of the way, I felt like I was able to explain, and be explained, much more calmly. The overall atmosphere had changed. Even Adam dared to pitch in a few times, and surprisingly, people listened. His insight surprised even me.

Then came the mission, due in 2 days. Because of the earlier explained political implications and the inherent danger of the mission, it was a one-man job, after which I would have to be quarantined. I wasn't too worried about the psychological and physical tests beforehand, they wouldn't be my first time. Not much to mind but the job itself then, good.

Because the particle didn't seem affected by the gravity of nearby stars, the array would have to be installed in a very complicated orbit. But the scientists and computers did those calculations so again, I wouldn't have to concern myself with it.

Next subject was my survival, something I was far more interested in.

I was relieved to find that they were not uneducated concerning mission priorities. Survival first, mission objectives second. I got permission to jettison the sensor in case of emergency if it meant the difference between life or death. Not that I needed permission for that- In a past life, I might have thought differently but these days, I considered the chance to live another job my main objective.

I had the advantage of being of utmost importance, which meant that I could make requests that would otherwise be out of the question. I managed to have Lisa on mission control, the voice to talk me through every step. The same job as always, basically, but with the screens forwarded to the control room on the station.

I was also promised a small crew to help unload the Theseus. I wanted him as light as possible to make maneuvering easier. It would also save fuel, which meant I would have to take less with me, again saving weight.

I just needed enough for an emergency getaway, a procedure where I continuously accelerated away until the halfway point, turned the ship around, and then decelerated using the main engines, hoping to stop dead right as I arrived. It was the fastest way of getting out, but the maneuver wasn't called a suicide burn for nothing.

After installing the array, there was no safe way for me to return to my ship. I'd have to jump the gap. The Theseus was more than large enough to catch, but anyone who has ever taken a difficult step while risking a deep fall, might understand the implications of it.

If I should miss, it would depend on a rescue team to come get me in time. My suit would probably put me in a cryogenic sleep long before they'd arrive. Another gamble with my life that I would rather avoid.

And I sure as hell didn't like the hesitant looks exchanged with that hot-shot political spokesperson at the mention of a rescue team.

-----

I spent the next 2 days going between short boosts of confidence, and feeling dwarfed by the enormity of what I was dealing with. In both cases, Lisa was there with me, knowing when I needed to talk, and when I needed time by myself. As usual, focusing on the work at hand helped, as I delegated the guys 'n gals emptying out the Theseus.

Lisa's tea maker was last, and I had it installed in her quarters. It removed the last evidence of her on the ship, which was both a bother and a relief. If I was to pull this off, I'd have to be an astronaut and nothing else.

The empty ship reminded me of when I first got it, second-hand but in tip-top shape. The dealer had no idea he was getting robbed. The Theseus stayed with me through every red run, shooting me out of harm's way every time. I had nothing else on my mind than bullshit my way through life, fuck and fire my co-pilots, and draw a pistol for all other situations.

I knew I had been pushing my luck long before I met Lisa, but it wasn't until that grotesque tea machine was installed, that things actually began changing. At the time, I didn't know why, but fact remained that if they hadn't, she wouldn't be with me today and we certainly wouldn't have found ourselves in this situation. I didn't care much for fate, but some days, I had to wonder.

When the day came, I felt ready.

-----

"Calibrate clock frequency in slave mode, begin mission timer at... Three forty-six PM. You are cleared for departure, James."

I did as ordered, and then swept the screen away. I knew Lisa would receive it, and stack it with the others. "Alright. This book ain't going to write itself."

-"Mission control wishes you the best of luck, Captain."

It seemed so inadequate, so futile.

With a custom gesture, I cleared the cockpit of screens and exited the hangar manually. I'm sure they noticed the deviation in course but didn't mention it. Otto took over after that, setting me on a course towards the anomaly with a computer's precision, minimizing fuel consumption. Nice and slow, this trip would take several hours.

I switched on the most aggressive music I could find, and pushed the volume to the maximum, which still wasn't much without my old-school speaker system aboard. Whenever I bothered to reply to some message from mission control, I knew they would hear the chords in the background. I didn't care.

I saw the anomaly dead in front of me. It got brighter as I approached, but otherwise didn't change shape at all. It stayed just as big, and when I felt the Theseus change to the proximity vector, I got the impression it was actually still quite small.

The scanner screen told me I was about 100 meters away from the barely visible even horizon. The array was to be installed at a 20 meter altitude from the surface, leaving an 80 meter gap for me to jump. I knew that and I knew I could do it, but the distance had never seemed so enormous before.

Once I got confirmation that my orbit was stable, I punched the clock and got up to start the next phase, the part where I would wrestle into my space suit without help. I could hear Lisa's smile as I cursed for half an hour solid.

She controlled my exit from the space station. I checked my life lines for the fourth time as the door opened and I exited the safety of my ship. "Make sure Otto and Theseus play nice?"

-"Copy."

As the entity came into view, I became aware of a static buzz on the intercom, quite unlike any interference I had heard before. Diag showed nothing out of the ordinary with our system, just a few weird readings from "an external source". It was erratic, like a voice distorted until only a crackle remained. Mission control heard it, too.

The underside of the Theseus was covered in a tight web of carbon cables, ready to catch me on my jump back from the array. It made movement very easy, and I considered having it installed permanently. Not that it mattered, I figured, with my ship ready for the scrapyard.

I clawed my way to the hangar bay and on Lisa's command, the latches opened and the lift came sliding out, carrying the familiar cube of priceless sensors. I remembered how Lisa had thrown her multitool at it, and how the arc of it changed until it clung onto the front protrusion of the device. It seemed quite funny, back then. Still did.

"James, we are reading a gravitational disturbance here. Could be a comet nearby. We are going to shift the ship a few degrees to compensate for the chaos effect, is that alright with you?"

I grabbed on tight to the external handles, and responded. "Copy. Ship changing position. Ready when you are."

I stared into the yellow glow of the particle as I felt the ship accelerate, flown remotely by Lisa.

The cloud around it seemed to form tendrils, randomly and of varying size, but never bigger than the ball-shaped event horizon. Mists of unfathomable amounts of particles that supposedly didn't even exist, rewriting information on a fundamental level through supersymmetry.

It dawned on me that it surely knew of my presence here, if it had any sort of intelligence to begin with. Would it lash out when I approached? Would it welcome us? Once we had the ability to listen, would it speak to us?

Another small jerk told me the Theseus had come to a stop, but it wasn't until Lisa's redundant message came through, that I resumed preparing the device. I had practiced doing this by myself so I made good progress.

With settings as they were, I had 4 hours of battery life on my suit. That should be about double what I needed if things went smoothly. At the moment, I was ahead of schedule.

The array was now fully detached from its dampeners, held in place with one last automatic bracket. I crawled to my spot, preparing to fire up the thrusters and float this thing into position. I could see the entity from where I was sitting, still clearly hearing the snarling distortion in my radio.

"Ready for separation," I said.

-"Copy, go ahead and separate. Uploading updated co-ordinates now, computer should take it from there. James, the interference might make communication difficult. You might have to continue autonomously."

-"Very well. Engaging thrusters."

I held on as the jets fired with short, angry bursts, propelling the array and myself towards the particle. I looked back at my ship slowly getting smaller, my only indication that I was moving. I had to trust the computer at this point, which was calculating the ideal location based on questionable information and whatever margins of error the scientists had deemed "acceptable". This was going to go great.

Even the screen on the device was starting to show effects from the radiation. It seemed better when I forwarded the display to my in-helmet HUD, where I continued to monitor the progress.

I tried to look for the space station, but couldn't find it. If it was visible at all, it would be indistinguishable from the stars around. In my mind, I could see Lisa's wet face, and I those conflicting thoughts all came sneaking up on me. I let it happen, it kept my mind off the void.

Someone in the radio was trying to tell me something, but only a stutter came through. "I can't read you through the interference," I said, knowing it was futile.

-"There." Thomas' voice suddenly came through, bright and clear. "The time dilation from the particle was stretching his frequency. I compensated on our end, you can talk freely now."

I had to admit, that was some creative thinking. The professor knew his stuff.

"Approaching target location. Braking sequence commencing, hang tight."

-"Copy."

I could see every calculation of the thrusters' processor on my screen, every command scrolling by too fast to read. Kind of cool, actually. It's not often you can look into a computer's mind. And just like that, the scrolling stopped and a final message blinked near the end.

CARGO READY FOR ACTIVATION

I looked at the words for a few seconds, until Lisa repeated them in my ear. I nodded to myself. This was it, then.

I moved from my safe "riding" position to the screen. It was awkward using the buttons on the device with the screen's image projected inside my helmet, but I managed.

"Activating sensor array. You guys ready?"

No answer came. Diag showed everything to be normal, but still no response, even after a third repeat.

I stared at my hand on the button, next to the screen freaking out in sync with the harsh distortions in my ears. That constant, chaotic, distorted screeching. If only I knew what it came from, what it meant.

Nothing changed for a full minute.

"Activating."

I pushed the button and instantly my radio cut out.

But I could have sworn, on my life, that something came through right at the last moment.

A voice. I couldn't understand, but still knew what it was saying.

It was saying my name.

My hands clenched tightly around the bars of the array's displacement harness, and I didn't dare move. I just stared in front of me, my own vision in the dead screen. Any moment, I expected a violent reaction, something to blow me right out of my suit, or dissolve us into atoms.

But still, nothing happened. Not a sound but my heartbeat, nothing on the screen but the reflection of my wide eyes. It was indescribable how small I felt, how vulnerable. The array filled most of my vision but around it, were the stars, the emptiness, the hostile nothingness where I would disappear into insignificance if that heavy thumping in my chest should ever stop.

I turned my face against the glass of my helmet, looking at the entity. It did not look any different at all. No matter how long I looked, it just wouldn't change.

I was hyperventilating, I slowly realized. Closing my eyes, I tried to think of the safety of my ship, parked down on Taiko 7. The desert. Lisa's eyes and how similar they looked, I now realized, to the green stone found there. The sun on my skin. God, I missed the sun so much. Any sun.