Perspectives Series: Jess Pt. 02

"I know what you mean. I was beside myself." My mind drifted off to that first moment I saw him in the lobby and it dawned on me what he just said.

"What do you mean, replacement?"

"My year is about up. I had the option to extend, but that would require a mandatory three more years with no possibility of an early return. They take your passport and everything. I couldn't do that."

"Why not?" I was fishing.

Simon doesn't fall for my fishing expeditions. He knew what I wanted, or I should say, needed to hear. He grinned and nodded his head.

"Yes, partly because of you. Because I couldn't stand the thought of being without you for 3 years."

I felt embarrassed that I made him say it. It felt so childish, but I needed the reassurance.

"Where were you planning to go?" I had to ask. That time the question was legitimate.

"Back to Kansas City, at least for a couple of weeks."

He could have explained more, but he was teasing me as payback for my fishing.

"A couple of weeks; that's all? What can you do in a couple of weeks?"

"Lots of things. The rest of my stuff gets shipped off tomorrow. The only thing left will be what I can pack in a suitcase. I leave Monday, the 25th."

"Will you let me pick you up at the airport?"

"Why don't you let Martin pick me up at the airport? I need to go by his house to get some of my things, and then I'll have him drop me by your place."

"I don't live in our apartment anymore. I bought a house."

"Yes, I know...in Martin's neighborhood. I've seen a satellite picture of it on the internet."

"You have?! That's not fair!"

Simon placed his hand on the back of my neck and guided my face to his. He closed his eyes and kissed me passionately. It was that same engaging kiss I remembered so well. When his tongue retreated and his lips parted from mine, my head fell back onto the bed and I could feel myself letting go, releasing my inhibitions. I was surrendering again but even more fully than before. In that moment I realized that I was consumed with love for him, and wanted to be forever bound to him...and there is nothing wrong with feeling this way.

Simon watched me intently. His hand moved down to my breast. I instinctively pulled back my shoulders and arched my back. He then ran his hand down my stomach and between my thighs. I parted my legs to give him full access to my dripping wetness. I wanted only to please him.

Simon put his arm around my back to embrace me. He pulled back to look at my face and show me that he had tears in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

"Absolutely nothing. This feels so right, it scares me."

He paused for a long time. I could tell he had more to say but he didn't, or couldn't find the words. There was something troubling him, I thought. I wish I could read him like he does everyone else.

Simon switched gears and began making love to me again. I dismissed any questions that were forming in my mind. Simon is coming home and that's all I want to think about now.

Chapter 5

It's the happiest I've been since coming to Dubai last summer. I don't know if I even realized how much I missed her until I saw her sitting in that lobby. How fucking weird was that?!

She looked like a little tourist in her polo shirt and khaki shorts. Her legs were nervously bouncing up and down while she scanned the brochure. She usually does that right after she's had her morning coffee. She wasn't reading the pamphlet, but rather looking for something in particular. I guessed it was either a phone number, or a price.

Her hair was down, and falling to one side of her neck as she hunched forward, reading. It was longer than she used to keep it. Better. Sexier, too. I remember feeling a stir in my jeans when I imagined it brushing against my bare skin. And then my mind went wild with lust. I just had to have her.

I've been in a fog these past two days in the office. I've replayed our two days together over and over in my mind. Sleep has been difficult. I have some new visual aids in my head -- they really helped me to get off last night.

But Jess has become more than a great fuck for me. I didn't intend for my little game with her to end up this way. I just started teasing her at first because it drove her wild. But I started to get a little carried away with the whole thing. Mexico scared the hell out of me. I was beginning to realize how that could become a lifestyle for me. I didn't want to turn out like Martin.

The weird thing was, that half of the stuff we did repulsed me when I thought about it later. The thought of Jess with another man these past few months has made me half insane. I have no idea why I ordered her to fuck Mike. And I never even cared much for anal sex. That was one thing Sarah did very willingly so I had gotten my share of it. I just saw how Jess became more excited at the thought of pushing herself to do it to please me. I didn't have the heart to tell her it didn't matter.

When Jess began really opening up, trusting me completely and giving herself so freely to me, I had no idea what effect it would have. It made me realize that, that was what I'd wanted my entire adult life; It was what I needed. I need to be with someone who is completely devoted to me. Someone I can trust completely in return. This is the only woman I can marry.

But I still need to come clean with Jess. I need to let her know that I don't have the energy to keep tying her up and coming up with 'lessons'. It's just so exhausting. I don't know how she is going to take that, and I don't want to lose her again. I don't know how to tell her that I would rather just start a family.

I guess I should've been a little nervous about the possibility of being a dad, but I wasn't. In fact, I hope she is pregnant. Then I don't have to say anything. Nature will just take its course. God, I want to have kids...with her...as soon as possible. I've made up my mind that this is who I want to live my life with, and I want to get started. Just the thought is making me hard.

THIS IS CRAZY! What the hell is wrong with me?

"Hey, what's up?" Jeff, again.

"Not much. Ready to be OUT of here."

"Oh, yeah...me, too. We are going to have a BLAST tonight."

I was suddenly hit with the reality that I was going out with Jeff, and I had a date. Jeff mistook my excitement. Thankfully, I've always had a great poker face, and so I didn't show my surprise.

Ordinarily, it wouldn't be a problem to get out of plans with Jeff, but there were girls involved. While Jeff droned on about the conference call he just had, my mind began to search for ways to get out of the mess I'd so artfully gotten myself into. I couldn't think of a way.

"You gave up the keys to the company car today, didn't you?"

I snap back to the conversation, "Yes".

"I'll pick you up, then. We'll just meet them there."

"OK." My mind was racing, but getting nowhere.

"See ya around 8."

With that, Jeff was off, and around the corner.

Chapter 6

My flight back to Kansas City was short. My mind was completely occupied with visions from our previous day. Simon didn't go into work my last day there; instead, he just stayed in my hotel room. We never left the room. We ordered room service and made love, over and over again. It was the most we'd ever done it.

I was a tiny bit disappointed that Simon didn't even attempt to tie me to the bed. I missed the teasing he used to do. It would drive me insane. Usually, by the time he touched me, I was so close to orgasm already, he hardly had to do anything to push me over the edge. Thinking back on it still makes my panties wet.

I wanted so desperately to show him how willing I was to do anything he asked of me, but he never really pushed me. Simon seemed to just want to make love in ordinary ways. If I even tried to remind him that I might -- that we might - get pregnant, he became more determined to do it. The worst part of the plane ride back was the sitting. I was extremely swollen, and sore from our day of romping.

I had taken Friday off, even though I probably didn't have to. That gave me some recovery time from the trip. Coming back was a lot easier because you gain time coming this way. I was still suffering from jet lag, however.

I suppose it's all those movies you watch where the boyfriend dies tragically in an airplane crash on his way to spend eternity with his loved one. We just can't stand the thought of a happy ending. It's just too unreal. This made me very uneasy over the next week. Every day seemed to drag on, and my thoughts of doom turned into a dark obsession. I imagined him getting hit by a car on his way to the airport. God knows those people drive like maniacs! Or I would imagine his plane going down over the ocean. My most dramatic one was of Simon catching a terminal virus on the plane and falling unconscious just moments before I arrived at the hospital. Movie plots are very powerful images in our minds.

One thought that remained through all of these scenarios: I hoped I was pregnant, so I would at least have his child. This irrational line of thinking convinced me to not play catch-up with my pills and just see what transpired. If it's meant to happen, it will, I kept telling myself.

Secretly, I think I prayed for pregnancy.

Chapter 7

Jeff showed up around 8:20pm. He was supposed to be there at 8:00. I had twenty minutes of hoping he wouldn't show up before he knocked at my door.

His hair was still a little wet from the shower, and his shirt stuck to him in places on his back. He probably put on his shirt before he dried off all the way, and then it stuck to him when he sat in the car.

He had already become careless with that relationship, so I could estimate that it was one of his last dates with that girl. He had probably already moved onto another one. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me to find out he fucked a girl earlier this evening and that is the reason for his hasty shower.

"Hey, what's up? You ready to go?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

Jeff failed to recognize my hesitancy. Subtlety was not his specialty.

"Sorry I'm late, dude. You won't believe what I was doing..."

Really? Try me.

"...I was fucking that chick that shines shoes at the office buildings around town."

Another winner.

"Really?"

"Yeah. She was fucking awesome. If you weren't coming tonight, I would have blown this whole thing off with Kate. I'm getting tired of her, anyway."

"We don't have to go on my account." I carelessly betrayed my anxiousness to get out of it.

"Dude, I wouldn't leave you hanging with a hard-on. You deserve to fuck that little Australian bitch. She wants you bad. I can stand Kate another night."

Great! Thanks, buddy.

We arrived at Carter's for dinner. Katie greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and introduced me (again) to Janet. Jan was around 5'4" tall and had long, dark brown hair and brown eyes. Her features were very exotic looking -- you could tell she was a mix of different nationalities, but it was impossible to guess which ones. Maybe Arab and Australian, or something like that. I'm sure she told me the last time we met, but I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying. Because of this, I am hesitant to ask any questions, or show any interest intellectually in her, for fear that she will discover how very little I paid attention to what she was saying the last time.

Physical attraction was another matter. As I scanned Jan's appearance, I realized how much she looked like an exotic runway model. More accurately, a runway model turned hooker. Although she was not very tall, her legs were long and slender. This was accentuated by her short mini skirt. Her blouse was very tight, and her tits were pushed upward so that her cleavage was noticeable through the thin material. I could also barely see the outline of her nipples. By any standards she was dressed very provocatively, but especially by Dubai standards.

Her hair was straight and fell halfway down her back. She had healthy confidence in herself. She was completely aware that both men and women were staring at her, but that didn't seem to faze her. I think that was her most attractive quality.

She greeted me very casually. Like Kate, she kissed my cheek but lingered close to my face for a brief moment. The gesture sent an electrical pulse straight down to my cock. She knew exactly what she was doing.

We ordered dinner and drinks. Jan remained quiet for most of the evening, but not because she was shy or reserved, but rather because she doesn't engage in small talk readily. When she does speak, she is very engaging and articulate. Her precise choice of words indicated she was highly intelligent. The combination of slut and scholar worked their magic on me, and with every drink, my inhibitions gave way to thoughts of fucking her.

We decided to walk next door to The Planetarium for more drinks and dancing. Jeff and I had never been to that club because they do not allow single men to enter. Judging by Kate and Jan's gait through the front door, I would guess they'd been there before. There were sofas around the place, and we claimed one of them. It was pure luck and timing, because the place was crowded. Kate towed Jeff to the dance floor, leaving Jan and I alone.

I was trying to find something to say that wouldn't betray me. The alcohol was making my thoughts hazy, and nothing was coming to mind. Jan leaned over, and I craned my neck to hear what she was about to say. Instead, she pressed her lips to mine, shoving her tongue in my mouth. It wasn't a tender kiss, but rather one with urgency. I could feel her tits pressing against my arm, and I wanted to reach out to fondle them, but remembered that we were not alone...and we were not in the States, either.

When she pulled away, I looked around. No one seemed to have noticed our exchange. Crowds can oddly provide lots of privacy.

When Kate and Jeff returned, Jan announced how much she loathed crowds and invited us to come to their apartment. Jeff replied immediately that we would love to go, making it impossible for me to protest. I wouldn't have protested, anyway, but I gladly blamed that on Jeff.

Their apartment wasn't far from the bar, so we piled into Jeff's tiny car and went there. Kate talked practically the whole way there. She reminded me a lot of Sarah. For a moment, I pictured Jeff fucking her in the ass. I wonder if she shuts up then.

Jan was careful to keep her legs together and her knees pointing toward the door instead of toward the center of the vehicle. This put her back toward me. We made very little eye contact in the car. Because of this, I gave very little thought to what I was about to do. I listened to the radio, and to Kate, and didn't think of much else.

They lived in a high-rise apartment complex where they were on the sixth floor. Unlike going to someone's apartment in the States, you can't drink in your own home there unless you have a liquor license. Jeff and I knew only two guys who had licenses. Basically, there was very little reason to go back to one's place except to fuck. I mean, we weren't going to drink milk and play Monopoly.

Kate turned on some music. I didn't recognize the artist, but assumed it was someone from Australia. Jan fetched me a bottle of water. I was looking at a photograph on the counter and when I turned around, Jeff and Kate were behind a closed bedroom door. The pressure was on, as the moment of truth had arrived. I was alone with a woman, in her apartment.

I sat down on the small sofa in the living area, and before I could think about what to do next, Jan was approaching me. She set down her water and stood there facing me. She didn't say a word. Her eyes were locked on mine. In my peripheral vision I noticed her hands moving up and down her chest. At first I didn't want to avert my gaze from hers. But eventually, my eyes were following her hands as they traveled across her body, skimming her clothing.

I was growing harder, and my khakis were beginning to feel uncomfortable as they strained to hold me in. I shifted in my seat and spread my legs to gain some relief. Jan looked down at my bulge and then back up to my eyes. She didn't acknowledge my hard-on with any facial expression. She has more of a poker face than I do.

Her fingers started unbuttoning her blouse. Her bra was black, and the material only came up to just beneath her nipples. Her tits were gorgeous, and large. One of the best boob jobs I'd seen. Her hard nipples peeking above the black lace were begging for attention, but I was frozen in place. I was mesmerized by her cool confidence, and I didn't want to ruin it by taking the lead.

Jan allowed her blouse to fall to the floor but did not remove her bra. The sight of her lingerie was so sexy. She really knew what she was doing, and was in complete control. She ran her fingers over her hard nipples and tweaked them, making them stand even more erect. I instinctively licked my lips as I was imagining sucking on them around that lace.

The song on the CD changed to a slower tune with a very sexy, rhythmic beat. Jan ran her fingers through her hair while she gyrated her hips from side to side. She bent over and placed her hands on my knees while wiggling her ass in the air. Her tits fell farther out of the material and jiggled from side to side with the motion. She then slid her hands down my thighs toward my hard-on. I leaned back a little, anticipating her touch, but she simply ran her hands back up toward my knees. She repeated this a few times. The teasing was killing me. I could feel my pre-cum seeping out and it would soon be visible through my pants, I was sure. She finally touched my bulge on the fourth pass, paying no special attention to it; lightly running her fingers past it as if it were my knee or some other random body part.

I expected to see a wicked grin on her face or some indication that this was a game she enjoyed playing. There was nothing. Her eyes remained piercing, and her expression completely serious. I am adept at observation and can read most anyone. I couldn't read her at all. She was a complete enigma to me.

My breathing was getting heavier and I was beginning to grow impatient with her game. I wanted to fuck her more than I'd ever wanted to fuck anyone. It took all of my will power, all of my self-control, not to throw her onto the floor. I started trying to concentrate on something else. I listened intently to the music, trying to take my mind off of Jan.

Jan stood upright and gripped the sides of her skirt. She very slowly slid her skirt up her thighs to reveal no panties and a clean-shaven pussy. Once her skirt was bunched around her waist, she slid her right hand down and cupped her pussy in it. Her head tilted back and she let go a moan. This was the first sign of emotion she had let out all night. She spread her legs and shoved her finger up inside. She finger-fucked herself for several seconds and then withdrew her finger. Even in the dim lighting I could see her middle finger was wet. She leaned forward and pressed her wet finger to my lips. I opened my mouth and sucked her juices off her finger. She was sweet and buttery at the same time. I wanted to taste more of her, but I knew she would make me wait.

For the first time, I started to raise my arms. I wanted to touch her, fondle her, finger her. She looked somewhat offended and pushed my hands down while she swiftly straddled my lap, pinning my hands to the sofa with her knees. I could smell her sweet cunt now. Her spread legs released her scent and betrayed her excitement. I knew she could smell it, too.