Photo Ops

There must be a way out of this for both of us, she mused. But through her long, hot shower, she couldn't think of any.

Julie was still barely speaking to Linnea when she came back from her first date with Jeff, on Monday night. That didn't stop Linnea from carrying on as if they were still the best of friends. "Well that's the first time I've had a first date on a Monday," she said as she hung up her coat and kicked off her high heels. "But it was the only day we both had the time, and it worked. Julie, thanks again."

"Mmmm," Julie said, without looking up from her book of literary criticism.

"Jules, please! I really am sorry!" Linnea flopped down on her bed. "You know how much a chance with Jeff means to me! And it was a great date, too! I always knew it would be if I could just get him to give me a second look, you know? And tonight, he did! He said I have very lucky eyes. Julie, we're perfect for each other!"

"Is that why you had to invade my privacy in the worst way possible to get a date with him?"

"Julie, it wasn't that bad! You know how many naked women there already are on the internet! So what if you're one of them?"

Julie finally put her book down and glared at her roommate. "What if you were one of them, Linnea?"

"Oh, I'd be hellish pissed, but I mean, it's not the end of the world, Julie! Get over it. This is Jeff Johnson we're talking about! I'm the envy of all the women on campus, and the gay guys too!"

"And that makes it okay." Julie was dumbfounded.

"I keep telling you, I'd do it for you, Julie!"

"You just said you wouldn't, or at least that you'd be pissed about it!"

"Well, I'm not blaming you for being angry, am I?" Linnea shook her head. "Relax, Julie. All's fair in love and war. And after all, you do have a way out of it. How's Nick?"

Nick was looking lovely, thank you, when Julie arrived at the student union in her long black dress on Wednesday afternoon. He'd also put on a fairly nice outfit for the occasion: a designer shirt and dress pants, and he had his hair pulled back in a neat, tiny ponytail. As Julie took her seat behind the music stand, she was equal parts thrilled and ashamed to spot him in the front row. Not willing to settle for a flirtatious smile this time, she set her violin on the chair and went over to greet him. "Nick! Thanks for coming!" she kissed his cheek.

"I wouldn't miss this piece, I told you," he said. "You're looking beautiful, by the way."

"Thank you! That means a lot after the way you saw me the other day!"

"Oh yeah," Nick said with a grin. "Speaking of which..." he dropped his voice to a whisper in her ear. "I've been trying to think of a polite way to say you looked amazing in that bathing suit. I can't think of one, so there you have it."

Julie laughed and blushed, and threw her arms around him. Once again she enjoyed a blissful moment of having forgotten what she had in store for the poor guy.

Julie's music tutor in high school had once told her she had a gift for pouring her angst into a truly remarkable performance, and today she did just that. The cellist missed a note or two and the violist flubbed one rest, but Julie nailed the entire piece. There were refreshments and a mingling session after it was over, during which she gratefully received many compliments on her playing. It took some time before she could even hope for a moment alone with Nick, but he hung around until the drinks were gone and so were most of the other attendees. "Want to go get dinner?" he asked her.

"I'd love to," she said, "But I was hoping to change into something more comfortable first."

"Up to you," he said, "But I was hoping you'd join me in that dress."

It was just what Julie had hoped he would say, and she was seriously considering inviting him to help her out of it when she remembered once again. No sense in making things even worse for the poor kid, she reasoned. "That's sweet," she said. "Okay, let's just go as we are."

The small talk was of classes, and Julie feigned surprise when Nick said he was thinking of majoring in Spanish. "I just got invited to a summer program in Mexico," he explained. "I was just doing Spanish to meet the language requirements, but it turns out I'm really good at it, so I might stick with it."

"Congratulations," Julie said, secretly delighted that the man who had beaten out Jeff apparently didn't even consider it such a big deal. "That's a good attitude. I came here planning to go for something really professional like chemistry or math, but literature is where my heart lies. Blame it on my high school English teacher for making me fall in love with Mark Twain, I guess."

"Oh, god, Twain!" Nick groaned. "I'm from Missouri, you know, and we heard about him constantly growing up!"

"I'm jealous!" Julie said. "So many times I wanted to join Huck and Jim on that raft down the river...wow."

"You're kidding," Nick said. "I mean, we read that, of course, but I just found it so tedious!"

"I loved it!" Julie said. "I mean, I know it's problematic with that word and everything, and it stops being much fun when the king and the duke show up, but still, all the scenery and the symbolism, and all the Americana that's now lost except for books like that. You know, I used to have a copy with beautiful color illustrations, I could look at for hours and imagine I was there..."

"Used to?" Nick asked sympathetically.

"Used to," Julie acknowledged. "I let my high school boyfriend borrow it to read over the summer after we graduated and he lost it, the jerk."

"I'm sorry," Nick said. "I know how much those things can mean to us!"

Julie could only nod and smile in that moment, as she admired his sympathetic eyes across the table.

The conversation then turned to topics more cheerful, and the meal passed by most pleasantly, with only the occasional twinge of guilt for Julie. At least the next step would be an easy one. Given their increasingly intimate and comfortable conversation, she was hoping Nick might take the bull by the horns on the whole thing. But then, she did recall what had happened the last time he'd asked a girl out, and she knew all too well how much it had all hurt him. And so she resolved to do the asking herself if he didn't ask by the end of dinner.

Sure enough, he didn't. "Well, thanks for the music and dinner," he said as they stepped out of the dining hall. "I have to go to the science building for a group study. See you later?"

"Nick, wait," Julie said. Taking his hands gently in hers, she looked around to make sure there was no one else around -- she didn't want anything to remind him of Melissa! -- and on seeing they were alone, she asked. "Want to go to Spring Fling with me?"

He looked flattered and flabbergasted all at once. "Oh, Julie," he said, "I wasn't really planning on going at all. You remember what happened with the winter ball!"

"Yes, and that's why I don't blame you for being too shy to ask," Julie said. "But I'm not Melissa, am I?"

"You can say that again," Nick said, and he burst into nervous, almost girlish laughter, which Julie only found more endearing. "I guess...I mean...I don't guess, that is, I...Julie, yes. Yes, I'd love to go with you."

"Wonderful!" Julie hugged him, and kissed his cheek. "I can't wait!"

"Oh, wait," Nick said. "I...since I had my mind made up not to go, after the winter ball mess, I didn't bring any dressy clothes back from winter break. I haven't got anything to wear, and I certainly can't afford a new suit. I'm sorry, Julie."

"I'm not," Julie said. "We can get you something from a thrift shop in town. Let's go shopping on Saturday?"

Nick looked unconvinced. "If you're sure..."

"I'm sure," Julie said, smiling through her shame.

Despite her horrible dilemma, Julie was feeling great on her walk home. There just had to be a way out of this! She still couldn't think of one, but right now it all felt worth it just the same. If her mind was empty, her heart was bursting.

Her sense of well-being about it all lasted exactly as long as it took her to walk back to her room. She almost felt up to putting up with Linnea, who was standing just inside the door striking a cute pose. She was not, however, up to coping with Jeff, who was splayed on Linnea's bed admiring the show. "Well, hello, Julie," he purred. "How's Nick?"

"He's wonderful," Julie managed to say. "I just asked him to Spring Fling, and he said yes."

"Yay!" Linnea said, giving Julie an unwelcome kiss on the cheek. "Congratulations!"

"And we know what to expect by the end of the party," Jeff said.

"About that, Jeff," Julie said, crossing her arms. "Haven't you already got what you really wanted? You and Linnea seem so happy together."

"That's none of your business, my friend," Jeff said. "Besides, I'm still not going to Mexico this summer."

"And if I humiliate Nick, will that change anything?"

"It'll teach the little shithead his place in the world."

"No it won't, Jeff, I've gotten to know him well enough to know that. Besides, you're happy with Linnea, I'm happy with Nick, can't we call it even?"

"Well, I could order Linnea to put that picture of you up on a couple of sites, and then we could call it even," Jeff said. "Linnea, you do have your phone handy, don't you?"

"Y-e-e-s." Linnea picked up her pone from her desk and clutched it, gazing at Julie as if to beg her not to make her do it.

Jeff got up from her bed and sauntered over to Linnea, who set the phone back on her desk. Jeff took her in his burly arms and kissed her gently while Julie watched, stone-faced. "Love you, babe," he said, and Linnea giggled in response. "Now, Julie," he said. "It's up to you. If you're falling for Nick, you've got a decision to make. Your pic or his. I'm happy for you both, but you're not in any position to make a deal, my dear." He kissed Linnea again. "Good night, babe,"

"Night, Jeff!" Linnea drawled while Julie stood facing away from him, not wanting to move until he was gone.

"Night, Julie," he said, with the door open. Turning back to Linnea, he said, "Next time, wear that skirt another inch or two higher, huh?"

As soon as he was gone, Linnea said, "Julie, I'm so happy for you both!"

"So happy you won't do the one thing you could do that won't destroy us!" Julie snapped.

"It won't destroy you!" Linnea said. "It's only a picture! He might never even know you put it online!"

"I won't be putting it online!"

"You know what I meant," Linnea said. "And look, I said I was sorry, but...it's Jeff Johnson! I'm going to be the queen of Spring Fling, and it's only one stupid picture. People won't even know your name!"

"Go to hell," Julie snapped.

"I'd do the same for you," Linnea said, her voice shaking. "I hope you know that, Julie!"

Julie didn't speak to Linnea again for the rest of that evening. After that, Linnea had the sense to start sleeping in Jeff's room, so at least Julie didn't have to put up with her nonsense for the time being. The weekend took just long enough in coming to make Julie start to waver on throwing Nick under the bus. Was it really the same with guys? Could she maybe get away with a dick-pic that didn't have his face in it? Was she quite sure that Linnea had her face in the picture of her, for that matter? Maybe she could even ask Nick about it all?

She was still undecided about the whole thing when they went into town on Saturday. But his hand felt so right in hers that she immediately lost any resolve to come clean to him.

"I didn't have you pegged as the thrift shop type," he said as they made their way into town.

"I mostly go there for the cheap books," she said. "You can get all kinds of treasures for just a couple of bucks. But I do look at the vintage clothes now and then. I've bought a couple of sweaters, that sort of thing."

"That makes sense," Nick said. "I just, from the beginning of the year, when you think of Julie and Linnea, you don't think of thrift shops!"

"Maybe that's part of the problem." Julie realized too late that she'd let it slip.

"What do you mean?"

Julie forced herself not to cringe. "It means...I dunno, Linnea and I do come across as kind of snobby, I guess."

"Well, no offense intended, but Linnea does. You don't, though, not since you were there for me last semester. It's just a matter of getting to know you, Julie."

Julie was relieved that they were already on the block with the thrift shop, as that comment had her wanting to cry.

When they entered the store, the saleslady gave them a friend's welcome. "Nice to see you again!" she said. Julie was about to reply with surprise, as she hadn't been there in weeks, when she realized the older woman seemed to be looking at Nick. "Are you back for more --"

"Clothes!" Nick interrupted. "Yes, we are. Clothes. A beautiful young woman has asked me to a dance next week, and I need a suit."

"Lucky girl!" said the saleslady, and now she did look at Julie. "The men's suits are over there by the back wall."

Although Julie didn't know just what was going on, she welcomed the wide variety of used suits and shirts as a welcome diversion from her situation. "How do you like pinstripes?" she asked, pulling a blue coat out of the rack.

"A little retro, but maybe that's a good thing," Nick said. "Let me try that on."

Though Julie was suspicious that he just wanted to buy the first suit that fit, she had to agree that it looked great on him. "Love it!" she declared. "Now how about a brightly colored shirt, for spring?"

The nearest saleslady recommended a lemon-yellow shirt and a blue tie, and Nick liked those as well. "I don't have much of an eye for what looks good," he said, admiring himself in the mirror with the shirt. "But if you say it looks good..."

"It looks great," Julie said, now imagining herself tearing it off him after the dance...if he was still speaking to her by then.

"And for you, ma'am?" the saleslady asked.

"Oh, we're just here for him," Julie said.

"Unless you've got a dress that's right for a spring dance," Nick said, pulling his wallet out of his jeans pocket.

Before Julie knew it, she was modeling a pink floral print dress that she wouldn't have looked at twice if left to her own devices. And it worked. "Not bad," she said, looking at herself in the mirror.

"Not bad!" Nick repeated incredulously. "Yeah, and water is wet, Julie." Turning to the saleslady, he said, "I'll buy it!"

"Nick, I can't ask you to do that!" Julie protested.

"You don't have to ask!" Nick insisted.

Julie was feeling more conflicted than ever on the walk home. When they got to their dorm, thinking it was for the best that she not spend too much time with him, she asked, "Are you going swimming again?"

"I guess I should," he said. "Want to come?"

"I ought to study, really," she said.

"Me too, but...exercise, right? How often do we do that during the week? And I already missed Wednesday. But I'm glad I did!" he added quickly.

"I'm glad you did too," Julie said. And she found the opportunity to see him in his swimming garb again utterly irresistible. Would sitting around her room sweating out the issue really do any good? "Okay, you talked me into it," she said.

"Great! Then we can study together afterwards," he said. "You can keep me in line."

Julie wasn't at all sure about that. But she did have the time of her life with him at the pool, where he had nothing but praise for her improved technique and she welcomed his adoring gaze on her body, which she most eagerly returned. She also fielded a few knowing looks from some of her friends, and found herself feeling quite proud of the whole situation. When it was over, she was tempted to get herself off in the shower again, but something told her to save that for later.

"So what's on tap for the library?" he asked as they walked back to the dorm afterwards.

"I'm working on a contrast in women's self-awareness in poetry," she said. "Gwendolyn Brooks and Sylvia Plath. But I'm not going to the library. Linnea's elsewhere for the weekend, so I've got our room to myself for once."

"Sylvia Plath," Nick repeated. "I scrape char off a board with a dull knife...that was about cutting her fingers off, wasn't it?"

"Wow!" Julie couldn't hide her surprise. "You know, Linnea thought she was one of the Supremes!" she laughed.

"She must've slept through high school English," Nick said. "Yeah, I loved those poems when I was Mister Angst. I mean, how could you not?"

"I didn't, not back then," Julie confessed. "I used to be more like Linnea than I like to think."

"I'm sorry, Julie, I really don't mean to pick on your best friend."

"No, it's fine!" Truer word was never spoken, Julie added silently. Then, knowing there was likely nothing but danger ahead, she seized the moment. "Want to bring your books upstairs and study in our room?" she asked, half-hoping he would say no.

"I'd love that!" he said. "See you there in a few minutes?"

Julie toyed with changing into the dress he'd bought her, which she had dropped off before heading to the gym, but that seemed a bit much even now. She told herself she ought to keep him at arm's length or come clean, but she was feeling much too stirred up to stick with that. In any event, she had her books spread out around her on her bed when the knock came on the door a few minutes later.

"Come in!" And Nick came in. "Feel free to use my desk if you want, or you can sit on Linnea's bed, if you're a bed-sitter."

"A bed-sitter," he chuckled. "That's cute." And he did help himself to Linnea's bed.

They got through an hour or so with only occasional talking. After a particularly long silent spell, Julie looked over at Nick to see he was gazing pensively out the window. "Can't concentrate, huh?" she asked.

"Sorry, yeah," Nick said, looking over at her belatedly. He stood up and stretched. "Time for a studybreak, I guess."

"You're thinking like I am, then," Julie said, and she also stood up. Though she knew it was best to keep her distance, she'd been finding it harder by the minute to ignore her urges.

"Am I, though?" Nick said with a smile as Julie stepped up to him. When she slipped her arms around him as if drawn to a magnet, he rephrased: "I am, huh?"

"I sure hope so!" Julie declared, and with that she leaned in and kissed him.

His lips responded just as she had hoped, and in no time she felt his arms around her. They couldn't drive her guilt away, but they felt wonderful all the same. Against her every instinct to cool it until she figured out what to do about Jeff and the picture, she couldn't help pulling his shirt out of his jeans.

Nick pulled back. "Do you want to..."

"Desperately!" Julie said. "Do you?"

He answered with a nod and a tentative hand on her left breast, which sent a shiver of pleasure throughout her body.

He looked concerned, so she reassured him. "Oh, that's lovely, Nick. Here, press just a little harder..." She placed her own hand over his and applied just the pressure she liked, and in no time he had it just right with both breasts. "Mmmm, perfect, Nick!" she said. With her own hands now free, she pulled her top off and let him admire her in her bra while she resumed getting his shirt out of the way.

"Nice bra," Nick stammered.

"Thank you," Julie said. "But surely you don't want to leave it on?"

Before she could let her conscience catch up with her, Julie set about unbuckling Nick's belt and unbuttoning his jeans, and awaited his welcome hands on her bra clasp. To her mild surprise, he had no trouble undoing it. She hastily pulled his pants and underwear down, getting both of them hooked on his hard cock first and watching amusedly as it bounced around after getting free of the fabric, and stepped back to give him his first unfettered look at her breasts.