Pillar Ch. 12

"She can control herself if she needs to, she's proven that by keeping her scholarship. But she needs a lot of motivation to manage it. You could train her. It'll be hard on her but based on what you've done together already I think she can handle it."

"I can't Ruth, not when I'm training you as well."

"She wouldn't be like me Tom. You could go back to the way things were after she's learnt what she needs to know."

"Alex, what do you think about this?"

"Me, what? I don't know."

"I'm asking you if you want me to do something about your problem so you can manage it better."

There wasn't a hint of a smile on his face as he asked her that question. Startled by the implications, Alex was unable to answer. What could he do? What was something?

"What would you do?"

"It's not as much what I would do. I can't change you, you have to do that for yourself. But what I can do is accept control over your life and enforce it until you have learnt to live with a certain amount of control over your actions. At that point it is possible for you to take that control back from me and take it on yourself. You'll have to obey me and stay here for a while. But if I do this I will make damned sure I only have to do it once. So I'm asking it again, do you want my help?"

"Would you really do that? Let me stay here? You don't think I'm disgusting?"

"I don't. From what you've told me, I think you don't know how to deal with yourself and it has twisted you."

"You can make me better?"

"I think so."

Alex jumped up from her seat and threw herself against Tom, embracing him tightly and crying into his shirt.

"I'll do it, anything you say."

As he held her in his arms she muttered nonsense against his chest, he stroked her back and let her pour it all out. He saw Ruth watching them and sighed, he'd never expected things to go this way. She was smiling behind her glass of water, content with the result she'd just achieved. The girl needed somebody to rein her in.

"Oh, Ruth. Just so you know, I'll integrate some of your training with hers. That way you can be there for her and I can give you all you need at the same time. And of course, there are some things we can't do with just the two of us."

She choked on her sip of water and coughed. That tone of voice always promised trouble. When Alex calmed down, Tom took her back home and told her to be patient. He had to think about what he should do and do some research.

"Don't worry if it takes some time for me to get back to you. We've made an agreement, now I just have to find out what exactly we agreed upon. I know two things though. It'll cost you all of your summer holiday and because of that any failed exams mean that the agreement becomes void. I don't want to lose any time. We're early in the semester now, so you keep that in mind really well."

He gave her a kiss that left her pussy wet and then stepped back, leaving her behind with a strange mixture of hope and frustration.

***

"Hi Alex."

"Ruth? How did you get in here?"

"Oh, some guy let me in. I think he was staring at my ass all the way down the hall."

"You are wearing stockings and a dress Ruth, it's not something you see every day. So why are you here? Did Tom send you?"

Ruth held out a large brown envelope, 'Alex' was written on it in a firm hand.

"He sent me to give you this and to answer any questions you might have about it. But you'll have to read in the car because we're going to an address he gave me."

"So what's in the envelope?"

"Your contract, rules and a copy of Tom's 'Yes-no-maybe'-list."

Alex weighed the envelope in her hand and held it at arm's length, hesitant to open it.

"Do I need all this? There's a lot of paper in here."

"It's not necessary but everything gets so much easier if you know your place. That's what those papers are. They tell you what he does and doesn't expect from you. The only thing you have to do is live by them. It's often difficult to pull off but in its essence it's as simple as that."

She flipped the envelope a couple times before moving to tear it open, Ruth stopped her.

"You can do that in the car, we're leaving now."

"Oh. Sure, I'll grab my coat. Give me a second."

As they made their way through the dorm, Alex felt envious of Ruth's seemingly natural grace and poise. As she passed through the hallway, there was no mistake that she was noticed. She could get a guy, no problem, but making one step out of his room to catch another glimpse of her? She couldn't do that. Ruth's car seemed unusually modest compared to her, but the seats were comfortable enough. She tore open the envelope and skipped through some of the pages.

"Are you sure all of this is supposed to be in here?"

Ruth laughed and nodded, looking sideways at the stack of papers.

"He likes to be thorough. Just read the first half of the contract and the rules, the rest can wait."

As she read, line after line it sank in deeper that this wasn't just a piece of paper meant for play. This wasn't something frivolous to make a fantasy feel more real. She'd been too relieved when he said he'd help her to think about how he would actually help her. The papers still didn't tell her anything specific, there was nothing in them about what they would be doing together. All they told her were the terms of the agreement.

"You've signed this?"

"No, mine's different. More long-term and intimate. It progresses in phases, allowing me to slowly settle into lifelong obedience. It's a lot more than sex. But yes, I've signed mine and I've been trying to live up to it ever since. One step at a time, I haven't regretted it once so far."

"Don't you feel like you're trapped?"

"No, not at all. I feel like I'm being embraced, cared for. He wants me to be my own person when I'm not serving him. If I need some freedom all I have to do is ask. You have to keep in mind that Tom and I are trying to build something that will last. He doesn't need to force anything, he has his entire life to shape me. With you he only gets one summer. He still has his own responsibilities besides caring for me, so a lot of that precious time he has with you has already been cut back. But trust me, he's not going to waste a second of your time."

Alex frowned and stared down at the papers, she didn't get what Ruth was telling her.

"And I really need all of this?"

"I think you do Alex. Nobody, including you, has told you what to do for years now and look at what happened. You need guidance and discipline. Put the papers away for now but take them back out tonight and read them carefully. Think about what they mean to you and what they tell about the man who wrote them. What is he trying to achieve? Think about what they will no longer allow you to be. Those papers are in your hand because he thinks they can help you. That's the only reason, remember that."

The rest of the way they drove in silence, Ruth tapping her finger on the steering wheel in tune with the radio and Alex with her hands resting on the envelope. Ruth's words mixed with fragments of the contract inside her head, shedding new light on what lay behind them. She felt like she could trust the woman beside her, even though this was only the second time they'd met. Ruth stopped the car at the address, which turned out to be a jewelry store. Ruth made her way to the store, muttering to herself.

"I wonder what he's up to now."

As they entered, the clerk looked at them and seemed to be ticking off items on a mental list. He made his way over to them and said

"Miss Lorreyn and Miss Iglinski, I presume? Come with me, your parcel is ready for you."

Alex cast a glance at Ruth but saw her own surprised look reflected back at her. They walked up to the counter where the clerk produced a stack of boxes and one separate box. Each came with a note.

"Take as much time as you would like, Misses."

The clerk stepped to the back, leaving them to themselves. Curiosity quickly got the best of them as they quickly opened the boxes assigned to them. The two biggest boxes held a dark red and a dark green leather color. Ruth ran her fingers along the green one's edges and smiled. She closed the box again and lay her hand on top of it, mouthing the words 'Thank you, Sir'. Alex couldn't close her box, she'd never even thought about wearing a collar before and now she couldn't tear her eyes from one meant for her. It was beautiful, the deep maple red gleamed in the tempered light of the store.

She tore her eyes from it and saw tears running down Ruth's face as she gently put the last box back on the counter. All of the smaller boxes held pieces of a matching set of jewelry made out of pale metal twisted around vivid emerald. The elegant jewelry paled against the dazzling smile that lit up Ruth's teary face. She picked up the note beside her gift and pressed it firmly against her chest after reading it.

"What does it say?"

"Here."

'little girl,

You know what these represent. Keep them safe until I tell you that you may wear them in my presence.

I know very well that the true value of these pieces is symbolic, but I couldn't give you something that would detract from your natural beauty. I had these specially made with you in mind.

Each of these bears the same weight, treat them as such.

Tom.'

Alex returned the note, puzzled by its message.

"I don't understand."

"You don't? Wearing a collar symbolizes that I willingly give myself to him and that he wants me to prove that to the world. When he thinks I'm ready to submit to him for the rest of my life he will give me permission to wear these. Any of these and all of them together are my collar. It will remind me at all times that I belong to him."

She closed her hand over the note, her eyes closed. She whispered.

"It's beautiful."

Her smile wasn't diminished by the tears running freely down her cheeks. She carefully closed each box, briefly admiring each piece of jewelry.

"What does yours say?"

"Oh, I totally forgot."

'Alex,

Don't be startled by the collar I chose for you.

On the surface it's a clear symbol of ownership, but it means much more than that. Collaring someone should only be done if you are willing to take up the responsibility for that person and muster the dedication that comes with it.

I think you're wonderful as you are now. With the correct guidance you will be magnificent.

Be very aware of the fact that I'll only allow you the collar if I judge that you are capable of obeying me in a way that I find sufficient.

Remember what our goal is whenever you see or feel it.

Tom'

"I don't know what to say."

"That's fine. You'll understand if you go through with it."

Ruth dabbed her face dry with her handkerchief and called for the clerk.

"Do we have to sign anywhere?"

"No Miss, everything has been taken care of."

"Great, thank you very much."

They left the store and put the jewelry under the front seat for safe keeping.

"Well, I think that's enough of that for one day. I made a reservation, have you eaten?"

"I could eat."

"Let's go then."