Pillar Ch. 14

Chapter 4: turmoil

"We're taking the train today."

Surprised, Ruth turned to Tom and asked

"Why? We're a lot faster by car."

"I know, but in the train there's more room for... maneuvering."

Her eyebrows rose and she put her hands on her sides, cocking her hip.

"Maneuvering? That's what you're going to call it today?"

"I could call it by its name but where's the fun in that? Maneuvering sounds a lot more fun, especially since we're going to be trying to avoid detection."

An image of her bent over a seat in a train intruded her thoughts and suddenly she was feeling nervous and excited. She grinned and did a poor military salute.

"I will follow your commands, Sir!"

"Of course. I called Alex to tell her we won't be available today."

"Oh, good."

He caught her uncomfortable expression and cupped her jaw with his hand, gently pulling her closer to him.

"Are you worried about her?"

"No, no. She'll be fine, I'm sure of it."

He gave her a brief kiss and then patted her ass, pushing her forward.

"Go and grab your stuff so we can leave."

On the way to the station they talked about the friends they would be meeting. The conversation was light and fun, but there was an undercurrent of excitement and expectation. A train is still a public space and there's no escaping if you get caught.

Tom guided her to the end of the platform and popped her bra. He leaned closer to her and said

"Take it off, now."

She looked at him and then around her, alert like a small animal in danger. There were few people waiting at this hour but they were still there, close enough to see. She swallowed and tried to hide what she was doing behind his body when he suddenly stooped down to tie his shoelaces. She stood mortified, with one arm still stuck inside her shirt. She closed her eyes and hoped that nobody would notice anything out of the ordinary.

When he stood back up she shot daggers at him with her eyes. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled his 'I'm having fun'-smile.

"I had to tie my laces."

"Sure."

She managed to get her bra off and she froze midway through stooping down to get her bag. It wasn't at her feet anymore.

"Are you looking for your bag? I'll take care of it for you, don't worry about it."

"Where am I supposed to put my bra then?"

He shrugged.

"You can just keep it in your hands."

Embarrassed and unsure of what to do she stood waiting for the train. Tom put his arm around her shoulder and pushed a strap of her top off her shoulder. His hand hovered along the edge of the fabric, stroking her clavicle with one fingertip. He leaned in closer and she could feel his breath tickling her ear.

"Do you think that when the train pulls in and I pull down your shirt, people will notice those beautiful breasts of yours and see how hard your nipples are?"

She held her breath and looked down with wide open eyes as his fingers tightened on her top and pulled it down just an inch. She could see the swell of her own breasts, she put her hand on his and weakly tried to push it away but instead he pulled her shirt further down. He was almost showing her nipple now. Her pussy clenched and her thoughts were flooded with images of other travelers seeing her and pointing at her.

Suddenly he released his grip on her top and she was decent again.

"You're such a good girl, Ruth."

She could feel his silent laugh against her side. Damn that man, he could play her too well. They weren't even on the train yet. He kept teasing her until their train was announced, feeding the fire in her pussy. He tightened his hand on her shoulder and she felt that something was coming. Her heart started beating faster. He wasn't really going to do what she suspected him to, was he?

The train rolled in and his hand pulled down her top in one fluid motion. She gasped when she felt the warm rays of sunlight on her exposed breasts. He let her top nestle under her breasts, putting them on display for anybody on the train lucky enough to look the right way. She couldn't cover up, he had her arm locked in place. She saw bored people suddenly look out, wide-eyed.

It was too much for her, her knees went weak and she let out an involuntary moan as a small orgasm swept through her. Tom fixed her up while she was coming down from her high and gave her a quick kiss.

"That was a surprise, Ruth. I didn't expect you to react that strongly."

She murmured something in response, still mortified. She was painfully aware of her nipples poking through her shirt when they stepped into the last carriage. There was only one other person. Ruth plopped down on the bench the furthest away from their companion and let out a contented sigh. She could almost feel the tension rolling off of her, too many of the people exiting the train had recognized her. It was a relief to no longer feel those eyes scouring her body.

"What are you relaxing for, Ruth? Stand up straight before me and take off your panties."

Her excitement rushed back, a ball of desire throbbing inside of her pussy. Casting nervous glances through the window and at the guy sitting at the other end, she quickly stripped off her soaked panties and gave them to him.

"That's a good girl."

He patted the seat beside him and she sat down obediently.

"Do you know what is going to happen once the train leaves?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Tell me exactly what it is you think will happen."

Admitting that they were going to have sex in a moving train was one thing, but actually spelling it out was another. A wave of embarrassment and sexual energy swept through her. Her pussy clenched and she moaned softly, her eyes shut for a moment while the film of what was about to happen played before them.

"Your servant is going to suck Sir's cock while she plays with herself."

"That's very daring of you, Ruth. What if I said I wasn't planning on doing anything of the sort? What would you think then?"

"Your servant would be disappointed, Sir."

"And if I decided to fuck you on this tiny table?"

She was unable to answer. She could see herself standing bent over, juices running down her thighs. Tom's cock plunging deep inside of her, over and over, heedless of the sound they were making and the risk of discovery. She saw herself scream in ecstasy while she came. Some men were attracted by the sound and started to watch her, pulling out their own cocks and pleasuring themselves. She pushed her body back against Tom, wild with desire.

Two fingers slipping inside her pussy shocked her back to reality. Tom's face was very close to hers.

"Mind sharing the little fantasy you just had?"

She moaned at his touch and her hips started rolling, eager to meet his hand.

"Sir was fucking his servant and she loved it, she couldn't keep quiet. Other men came and saw her being fucked by Sir, they got excited by seeing her. It... It made your servant wild, Sir."

He added two more fingers, stretching her pussy and speeding up his thrusting inside of her.

"You have such a wonderful imagination, little girl. As a reward for being so honest and responsive I'll let you come. But don't make a noise, there's somebody in here with us, remember?"

He started rubbing her clit hard with his free hand. The realization that she had forgotten all about the other passenger, toppled her over the edge. She bit her own wrist to keep from screaming out her pleasure. Her body was on fire and she squirmed in her seat, desperately trying to contain herself. Her body wanted to sing and explode, but it couldn't and that somehow made it sweeter. The risk, the fear and the simultaneous secret wish of being discovered turned her orgasm into a mind-blowing experience.

"Ruth, the doors opened. The conductor's coming. Get your ticket out and if you don't want him to suspect what just happened, I suggest you cover up a bit."

Still trying to clear her head, she scrabbled for her ticket and tried to straighten her clothes and her hair all at the same time. She failed miserably at every task and was embarrassed when the conductor looked her over with a skeptical look on his face. Tom apologized for her, saying that she had been feeling sick since this morning. The conductor clearly didn't believe him, but he accepted the excuse nonetheless.

When he left again, Ruth hissed at Tom.

"You could have helped me, Tom."

He laughed and looked amused, shrugging his shoulders.

"Is it really my fault? I barely even touched you."

She clawed in the air like an angry cat and hissed again. Her show of defiance quickly ended when she saw the look on his face change.

"You don't think we're finished here do you? Your proposal sounded very interesting. Come sit here before me and expose your breasts. Show me that you've been practicing at home."

She did as she was told and kneeled before him with her flushed chest exposed. With trembling hands she unzipped him and took out his cock, lovingly touching it with her hand. She locked it between her little fingers and started stroking it slowly. At the same time she rolled her own nipple between her fingers and each time she squeezed it, she also tightened her grip.

Tom wasn't interested in stretched out foreplay and put his hand on the back of her head, pushing it forward and down on his cock. He sighed when the tip slipped past the back of her throat.

"I've been wanting you to do that since I mentioned the train. That feels amazing."

He let her suck him of her own volition after that. She was relentless, lost in a sexual frenzy that kept on spiraling ever further out of control. One hand was fucking her own pussy while the other was a blur on her clit. She came with his cock lodged in her throat. She screamed and he forced her head to stay down so she wouldn't alert anyone. But she kept coming, her hands leading a life of their own and the lack of oxygen further clouded her judgment.

"You don't care anymore if we're discovered? Fine, I'll give you what you want."

He stood up, dragging her body with him, his cock still stuffed down her face. He grabbed her head with two hands and started face fucking her into oblivion. Her body was limp in his hands, the only part of her that had any strength left were her hands. She was abusing her poor clit just as hard as he was violating her throat.

With a last strong thrust he finally came, doubling over as he shot jet after jet of come into her mouth. When he finally released her and came back to his senses, both of them collapsed into a mess that reeked of sex.

After some recovery time, Tom looked around to see if they had gathered a crowd, but to his surprise the one other passenger in their cart was still where he had been. He straightened up Ruth and on his way to the bathroom stall he saw that the guy was wearing headphones. Poor guy.

"Ruth, go clean up in the toilet. Wipe up as much of your juices as you can with your panties and then give them to our fellow traveler. I think he didn't hear a thing of what we were doing. I want you to tell me about the look in his eyes when he realizes what those panties mean. You can go now."

She stared at him, how could he so offhandedly tell her to do something embarrassing like that? They were in the clear and still he wanted her to practically tell a stranger they'd been having sex a couple of meters behind his back. The thought sent a twinge through her body. Would he smell it later on and use it to jack off while he thought of her?

When she made it back to her seat, she caught the head of the guy popped around the edge of his seat and the obvious disappointment when he noticed Tom sitting next to her. She ignored him and just relaxed against Tom's warm body. She wasn't wearing any underwear and she reeked of sex, but she was so at ease she felt she could happily die then and there. It was almost a disappointment to have to leave their seats and meet their friends.

***

Alex plopped down next to Tom at his usual table in the coffee shop they first met in. Ruth took in her tired face and asked

"So, how did it go?"

Alex rubbed her eyes before she answered and shook her head, trying to clear it.

"I didn't know that there were others with the same issues. I was the youngest there, some of the things they told about..."

She shook her head again, massaging her temples.

"It was my first time, so I had to speak. So there I am, telling my story and I see at least half of them nodding, like they know what I'm talking about. I sit down and they give me a little round of applause, a bit weird, but it still felt good. Then they started relating to the story and telling me what they did and how they're trying to deal with it now. It blew my mind."

Tom took her hand and squeezed it, giving her a reassuring smile.

"You're working on it, that's all you can do."

Ruth put her hands over Tom's and nodded, she said

"We'll be where you can find us if you need us."

Alex felt warmed by their words. A few of the people in the group had talked about how important their families were in getting through the mess they'd made of their lives and how much they regretted hurting them. She found it hard to relate, she didn't dare go to her parents this soon. These two wonderful people would help her fight on, she put her other hand on top of the pile and squeezed.

"Thanks, it means a lot to me. But can we change the subject? I think I've heard enough about sexual addictions for the rest of the week."

Tom cast a glance at the menu on the wall and said

"Well, they do have a new kind of pie available. Rhubarb, apple and ginger. Sound interesting?"

"That sounds perfect, you're buying?"

He laughed and shrugged

"I'll let you take advantage of me, since I'm powerless against your female wiles."

"Wiles? I think that's the first time I've heard anyone use that word in an actual conversation."

"I could've said that you're a sneaky, pie-mooching enchantress, but I prefer to be delicate."

"Oh, really?"

She launched a sugar cube at his face, which he heroically dodged. The second one hit him square in the nose though.

"How's that for delicate?"

He grinned and put up his hand to bring over the waitress and order three pieces of pie. Meanwhile Ruth picked up the conversation

"It's good to see you smile."

"Yeah, I'm glad you were in the neighborhood when I finished my session."

Ruth shrugged

"Don't worry about it. We like the coffee here and the pie is delicious, we actually had a slice earlier. You're going to make me fat if you keep talking him into buying pie."

Alex's eyebrow arched up and she glanced up and down what she could see of Ruth's slender body.

"Sure."

The pie was delivered and soon the conversation digressed into appreciative noises. All in all, a good first session.

***

"Hi honey. Haven't seen you in a while."

"Hi mom, I thought I'd visit. Is dad home?"

"He's outside in the garden. He'll be finished soon I think. Coffee?"

"Sure, no need to make a fresh batch though."

"Oh, it's no problem."

Ruth sat in the kitchen, watching her mother start up the coffeemaker. The most normal thing in the world, the feeling of home.

"Ever since you've been dating Tom we haven't seen you much. I hope that after you move in together you'll still come visit your old mother."

"You're not old mom."

"I know, I know. Guess who I ran into last week."

"I can't even begin to guess, mom. Some aunt?"

"No, silly. I ran into Sebastian, you know, your ex-boyfriend. He's such a nice young man and handsome too. I always wondered why the two of you broke up, you never told me much about it."

At the mention of Sebastian, Ruth hid her face in her cup. She didn't want to be reminded of him, there was very little good to remember.

"Oh? How was he?"

Her voice sounded a little shaken and weak, but she played along with her mother so she wouldn't become suspicious.

"Oh, he looked really fit. He's the one who recognized me actually, he said he couldn't mistake me for anybody else. He's such a charmer. He asked me about you."

"He did? I haven't really thought about him since we broke up, to be honest."

"I told him that you're working as an assistant manager in Fille d'Or and he seemed impressed. He had to laugh when I told him about the photo-shoot."

"I'd completely forgotten about that."

A small smile returned to her face. She had been fresh in her first job after getting her MBA and there comes the CEO of Fille d'Or, asking her in the middle of the street if she wanted to model some of the company's bras. Things got more serious after Ruth realized who she was talking to and the shoot ended in a job offer for a small management post. Fille d'Or was all about giving young female talent the opportunity to grow.

Her pleasant reminiscing was interrupted by her mother and her smile faded.

"He said he'd love to see you. I invited him over next week, I was going to call you but here you are so I'm telling you now."

"Mom! I don't want to meet him, I've put him in the past."

"Ruth, I'm sure you can at least be civil to him. He told me he's sorry that things didn't work out between the two of you."

"Is he now? Well, he could have given me a heads up before he left."

"Everybody makes mistakes, Ruth. I'm sure he's not the only one to blame for what happened."

"I'm not meeting him."

"Ruth, don't be rude. He's coming over next Wednesday. There's no need to insult him, I told him you would be there so we could catch up."

"Well, the two of you can catch up without me. I'm leaving."

"Ruth, honey. What's wrong?"

"I've just got to go mom, I'll visit again sometime this weekend."

"I wish you'd stay a little bit longer, but ok. Say goodbye to your dad on the way out."

"I will mom."

She fled the kitchen, leaving half of her coffee untouched. Remembering Sebastian made her feel small and undesirable. She had never been what he wanted and he had twisted her to suit his needs. She shouted out into the garden and her dad's head popped up, he waved at her and she returned the gesture before heading for her car and driving off.

During the ride to her place she remembered the months they'd spent together. At first everything had been fine until slowly things changed and he became more and more unreasonable. She'd spent too much time afraid and had been too happy to be alone. Jenny was the only one who knew the whole story and she decided to spend some quality time with her dear friend. She hope that would chase away the memories.

***

"Hi Alex, I didn't expect you to come by this late."

Alex was standing in his doorway, the wind blowing through her curls. He could see her shiver and quickly let her into the living area.

"I didn't know what else to do, Tom."

"It's alright, let me first make you something warm to drink. What do you want?"

"Coffee, black. And pour in something tasty."

He watched her in silence for a second and then headed to the kitchen.

"Brandy and sugar are okay for you?"

"Sure, whatever you've got."

They waited in silence for the coffee to brew, she gradually warmed up and stopped shivering. He handed her the coffee and she sighed when she took the first sip.

"You do everything right don't you?"

"I try. So what has you out on my doorstep at this hour?"

She didn't answer for a while, preferring to focus on the blend of rich spirits and bitter coffee that rolled over her tongue. Eventually she gave in to Tom's patient silence and put down her cup.

"Basically, I'm horny. I want to have sex but I don't want to have sex. I mean, I shouldn't. The people in the group say I should wait, that I should abstain for a while so I can start from a clean slate, but I'm crawling up the walls. I even have to be careful with touching myself, in case I'm obsessed. I don't know what to do Tom. Should I wait? Should I find someone? But I know what I'm going to find. It'll be just like before and if I slip once, I know I'll do it again. There has to be something else I can do, something that will satisfy me without putting me in danger."