Pissing Practice

Foreword: This is a work of fiction. None of the people in this story are real. None of these events ever happened. This story is nothing more than words that came from my imagination. Any similarity to any real people, places, or events is purely coincidental.

This is one of my original stories that I wrote before the Internet was a sparkle in Al Gore's eyes. I just found it while rooting through some old floppy disks, so I cleaned up the spelling and grammar a little and decided to post it. So please forgive me if it seems a little lame compared to my more recent stories.

Operators of erotic story web sites, whether free or fee-based, have my permission to post my stories for public reading, provided that credit is given to "Hungry Guy" as the author, and as long as you don't make changes other than fixing typos. Even beware of fixing typos, for I occasionally use local slang and dialects that may be flagged by your spell checker. Thanks.

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*RALPH*

Ralph unloaded the last crate off the truck at 5:30 and checked his watch. "Whoohoo! A half hour of O-T!" He gave the lading papers to the boss and punched out. He walked across 14th street to the subway and stopped in front of Edge Play, that new kink club that opened a few months ago. He knew that he couldn't afford to drink in Manhattan, but he was curious. He opened one of the plate glass doors and entered. Standing in a hallway, he saw a BDSM bookstore on the left and a novelty store on the right. He entered the novelty store and browsed around a bit. He came to a wall full of novelty tee shirts with such sayings on them as, "I came on Eileen," and others.

His jaw dropped when he saw what one said. He looked for his size in the bin below the wall and grabbed a shirt. The clerk came over to him and asked, "Can I help you?"

"Yeah," he answered. "I'll take this shirt, but what's a co-ed beer pissing contest?"

The clerk told him what a co-ed tandem beer-pissing contest was while they approached the cash register.

He checked out and headed back outside to go home with his prize. He took the subway down to the World Trade Center then hopped a PATH train home to the Jersey side.

Once home to his studio apartment in Newark, Ralph opened the package with childish anticipation and draped the shirt on his bed.

He nuked a frozen pizza for dinner, showered, and got ready for the night. After pulling his jeans and shoes on, he donned the bright yellow tee shirt that read in bright red letters,

CO-ED TANDEM BEER-PISSING CONTEST WINNER SUMMER 2003 EDGE PLAY

All set, he headed back out. He stopped for a drink at his regular hangout, DJ's Bar and Grill -- a "guy's hangout" where there's usually a ballgame on the big screen. Not the kind of place you'd go to meet women, but a good start to the evening.

DJ came over to Ralph as he sat at the bar. "Hey Ralph, what'll ya' have?"

"Gimme a Guinness, DJ."

"Comin' right up! Say, what's with the shirt? What the hell's a co-ed tandem beer-pissing contest? You really won that?"

"Naw! There ain't no such thing. I got it in some novelty shop at a kink club in the city. I got it as a joke to see how people, well, girls react."

"Ain't no girls in here tonight." DJ was right, there wasn't a female in the place; but it was the end of footbowl season and the bar was filling up with guys to watch the Superball game on the big-screen TV.

Ralph started to watch the game, but when he saw the Giants bungle the first play at the start of the game he decided to bug out after downing his beer. He headed down the street to Waves, the new place with the vibrating dance floor.

Ralph could hear Rammstein pounding the street from half a block away. The place was jumping to Mutter as he entered. He squeezed his way up to the bar and ordered another beer. He didn't recognize anyone he knew, but he did notice people giving him odd looks.

He sauntered over into an opening at the shiny brass rail and watched the dance floor. After a moment, he caught the eye of a girl leaning against the rail a little farther down. He didn't recognize her, but he smiled back at her. A moment later, she was standing next to him leaning against the rail.

He caught her eye and said, "Hi! You're new in here. I haven't seen you here before."

"No? I come here once in a while with my friends, but not too much."

"You like to dance?"

"Sometimes. But what's a beer pissing contest?"

"Well, if you don't know, then you don't want to know."

"Oh. Okay. Well, if you'll excuse me, I see my boyfriend just coming out of the men's room. See ya' round."

Ralph found another spot against the rail to watch the crowd. He finished his beer and met no other prospects so he decided to try somewhere else.

He headed across the street to Jack's -- a mellow just-hang-out-and-drink-and-shoot-the-bull kind of bar.

"What'll it be, Ralph?" asked Jack.

"I'm drinking Guinness tonight."

"Comin' at ya!"

Ralph moseyed over to the ancient pinball machine and shoved a quarter in the slot. As he played, a couple of guys had gathered around to watch. Playing intently, they didn't say anything to each other as Ralph racked up his score on the machine. One of the other guys set a quarter on the machine. Ralph finally ended with 102,457 points -- not great, but not too bad either.

"Okay, beat that!" said Ralph as he relinquished the machine to his challenger.

The other guy started to play as Ralph watched. He was watching as the score passed the 100,000-point mark and then noticed two girls on the other side of the machine looking at his shirt. Ralph looked back at them and grinned.

"Whad'ya win?" asked one of the girls.

Ralph never though about what the prize would have been and answered the first thing that came into his mind. "A thousand bucks each."

"But what is a co-ed beer pissing contest?" asked the other girl.

Ralph walked around the machine up to them. "You don't know what a beer pissing contest is?" Ralph asked with mock surprise.

"No," answered both girls together.

Ralph leaned close and whispered into one of the girls' ears.

"Ick! That's gross!" said the girl, making an ugly face.

The one girl whispered to the other girl, who responded, "Ewwwwww!"

Both girls scurried away giggling and going, "Ewwwww!" together.

Ralph left Jack's and wandered down the street, around the corner, then down another street for several blocks until he crossed some Conrail tracks. The sidewalk was gradually growing in disrepair, and the buildings were gradually becoming less sturdy looking. He suddenly realized, with some anxiety, that he had wandered into the hood.

He was about to turn back when he noticed a bar on the corner he was approaching. It was a rather seedy looking windowless hole-in-the-wall kind of place. There were a couple of black guys leaning against the cracked dirty stucco wall next to the doorway. They ignored him as he went inside.

Inside, there ware a fair number of people. It wasn't packed, but he was careful not to bump anybody as he walked up to the bar. He took a seat on one of the torn and decrepit stools and waited for the bartender to notice him.

"What'yo having, dude?" asked the bartender.

"I'm drinking Guinness."

"Don't got that fancy shit," the bartender said. "How about a Bud?"

"I guess that'll work."

The bartender served him and then left him alone.

Ralph looked around, trying to avoid eye contact with anybody. It was a mixed crowd of men and women, as you would find in most any bar. He was self conscious about being the only white face in the place, but they seemed to be ignoring him inasmuch as people in any bar would ignore anybody they didn't know and who was minding his own business.

He swung back around and continued drinking his beer when he noticed someone sit next to him. Looking up, she was a tall slender black girl with long hair all in braids, and wearing tight jeans and a bright purple tank top over her ample curves. Catching her eye, he said, "Hi!"

"Hi yoself! Whatchoo doin' here?"

"Drinking this beer. What about you?"

"Nuthin."

"Want a beer?"

She just shrugged. Ralph waved the bartender over with a dollar. "A beer for the lady, please."

The bartender glanced at her, and she said, "Gimme a Dos Equis."

Ralph leaned closer to her and whispered, "You have good taste in beer!"

She just shrugged again. Ralph started to wonder if he should just make a quick escape before he got into trouble; but he cautiously glanced around and saw that still nobody was paying him, or the girl, any attention.

He looked back at her and she was reading his shirt. "Wha's tha'?" she asked.

"What's what?" asked Ralph.

"Wha's a coo'ed beer pissing contest?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah! I wan' know!"

He leaned closer to her again. "It's where a bunch of couples, guys and girls, compete to see who can piss the most beer into a pitcher. Each guy gets tied down on his back onto a long narrow padded plank and they stick a plastic pipe over his wiener and into a pitcher. Each girl then sits on her guy's head with her pee-hole over his mouth. She then has to chug as much beer as she can until he fills the pitcher. Whichever couple fills their pitcher first is the winner."

"Oh yeah," she said, "I knows this othah' bar that did that. I wanted to do it, but mah las' squeeze tol' me I was a ho' fo' wanting to do it. But he was a playah' so I dumped him anyways."

Ralph scratched his chin wondering what language just spoke in.

"How much yo' win?" she asked.

"We each won a thousand bucks."

"A thousand bucks! Whoa! Yo gonna be doing this contest again?"

"Naw, she and I broke up and I don't have a partner for the one coming up."

"There's going to be anothah' one?"

"Yeah, they do it every month. The next one is happening in a few weeks, I think."

"Oh man, you ain't lookin' fo' a partner are ya?"

"Well, maybe. Are you interested?"

"Shit, man! Fo' a thousand bucks, yo can drink mah piss!"

"Well, okay. Give me your number and I'll call you a few days before the contest. It'll be at Edge Play in Manhattan. "

"I ain't got no phone, sugar. An' I ain't never heard of no Edge Play."

Setting down his beer, "You want to come with me, then?"

"Sho', why not?"

Ralph finished his beer, stood, and motioned her to follow him. Ralph noticed a few eyes on them as they left the bar together, but nobody hassled them.

They walked down the street and back across the tracks. "By the way, my name's Ralph."

"Latoya."

They eventually arrived back at Ralph's apartment. "Have a seat on the sofa, Latoya. Want a beer?"

"Sho."

Ralph brought out two Guinness', opened them, sat on the sofa, and handed her one.

"What's on yo mind, sugar?"

"I thought we could practice for the contest if you want. You've never seen a beer-pissing contest before, it might improve our odds. But it's up to you."

"Wha? We ca' practice here? Now?"

"Sure, if you want."

"Sho, why not. What we gotta do?"

"Finish your beer first."

They finished their beers and Ralph dragged something from his closet. It was a 3' high, 8' long narrow padded wood table -- obviously homebuilt. It was especially narrow and more thickly padded at one end and had two built in wooden clamp like contrivances at the other end and one on each side in the middle. He also brought out a small plastic pitcher, a 4' long 1" diameter plastic hose, and a sports timer clock. He then went into his refrigerator and brought out a case of Guinness. Ralph set the beer on a table adjacent to the bench.

"Okay," said Ralph after he had set up all this stuff.

"Okay what, sugar?"

"We, well, both undress now."

She gave him a dry look but he started undressing and so she did too. When Ralph was fully naked he got up on the bench and lay down on his back with his arms and legs in the open blocks.

After getting naked herself, she walked up to him. "Do you wan' I should close these blocks, sugar?"

"If you want," he answered.

While lying on his back, he watched her as she moved over him along the side of the bench. He had never done a black girl, and it was odd how her whole body was so -- black. Looking up at her breasts from directly underneath, he saw how her nipples were darker black then the black of her skin.

"Now what I should do?" she asked after she had latched all the shackles.

"Take that PVC pipe and slip the 45-degree part onto my dick and let the long end dangle into the pitcher."

She did so, and it gave him an erection as she handled his penis while slipping the pipe over it.

"Now start the timer going then quick jump up, take aim, and start chugging."

She hit the start button on the timer then walked over behind him standing there just beyond the top of his head as he lay there staring straight up at her. Her hairy muff was hovering just inches from his forehead and beyond that he could see the bottom of her chin between the undersides of her black breasts, and into her nostrils. After a brief moment, her body rose up and straddled his head between her legs. He barely had a second to see her bright pink slit peeking through her ebony skin through thick black hair as her twat came down directly onto his nose and mouth. He quickly took a gulp of breath just before his view was totally blocked by her buttocks pressing down heavily on his eyelids.

At first, the sensation was incredible. He felt as though his head was being slowly crushed by a padded vice -- but it was exhilarating. His mouth was open and he could feel the moist flesh of her twat with his tongue.

Almost immediately, he felt a stream of hot sour rancid tasting fluid splash against his tongue and onto the roof of his mouth. Gaaaaa! It was awful! Pooling at the back of his throat, it took all his will power to keep from gagging. It was quickly filling his mouth and so he tried to swallow it, but that only caused him to gag.

He felt his body bucking on the bench, but being that he had about 100 lbs. of female flesh pressing down against his mouth and nose, his gagging didn't accomplish anything and he managed to swallow it all between gags.

Oh, that was gross! He also suddenly realized that he couldn't breathe! His lungs were just now starting to scream to let his breath out to take another, but he couldn't. The pressure of her buttocks and twat against his nose and mouth just made too tight a seal.

He could feel her squirming on him as she chugged more beer. It was starting to become painful and he started to wave his hands in their shackles to wave her off him. All that happened, however, was the he got another mouthful of piss.

Oh no! Please! Enough! Get off! Please! PLEASE! ENOUGH! But she couldn't read his mind. He struggled to swallow her piss again against the pain from his lungs.

*LATOYA*

Latoya wasn't sure about this white guy. Here she was standing over him about to step forward to sit on his face.

The thought to herself, "After Duane lost his job because of that fight with that honkey boss what said, 'Welfare is just the gov'ment's way of keepin' us from gettin' ahead by keepin' us hooked on their handout,' it would feel so right to make a white guy kiss my ass and drink my piss! And no there ain't nothin' he can do to stop me now if he changes his mind!"

She then jumped up and forward and landed on his face with a smack, letting her legs dangle to her sides.

She grabbed a beer out of the case on the table next to her and started chugging it. Then another. And another. It wasn't long before she had to piss. It took a few moments for her to relax herself before she could let it flow.

"Take that, white boy!" she thought to herself as she began to relieve herself into him. He immediately started thrashing and bucking. She had to clamp her thighs tightly onto his head to keep her balance, but she continued to let her piss flow into him without pause until she had fully emptied her bladder.

She took a few more chugs of this whitey's expensive beer and immediately felt the urge again. She let him have it full force again as he bucked and thrashed.

She continued to chug beer after beer and to relieve herself at frequent intervals. But after a while, she noticed he had stopped thrashing every time she pissed. "Maybe he's learned to chug my piss," thought Latoya as she reached over and opened another beer.

After countless beers, Latoya just couldn't keep her balance on Ralph's head any longer and slid off and staggered back over to the sofa and went to sleep.

She woke up some time later, threw up on the coffee table, and then went back to sleep.

She threw up a few more times during the night and woke with her usual hangover after a night of partying. The white boy still seemed to be asleep on that bench so she just quietly put her clothes back on and left.

Latoya found her way back to her neighborhood and back to her roach infested apartment. She immediately dove into her bed and slept through the rest of the afternoon.

Later in the evening, Latoya felt well, at least better enough to go back down to Cleon's Cove. It was still early when she walked in and the bar was fairly empty.

"How's it goin' Latoya?" asked Cleon.

"Shitty! Yo seen Duane here today?"

"Ain't seen that bro since last Tuesday."

"Well then gimme a... yo got any that? I fo-get whats it called now. It got's two n's and s's on it, yo know?"

"Guinness?"

"Yeah."

"Nope. Ain't got it. Why? Some white dude asked for that same shit yesterday? What's goin' on?"

"Nothin. Just gimme a Bud."

"Sho' thing, sistah."

Latoya hung out at the bar drinking as the evening drew on and the bar started filling up.

Sensing someone standing behind her, Latoya slowly swung around on the barstool.

"Duane!" she shouted

"You bitch! I heered yo went home las' night with a white boy! Wha's tha' shit!"

"It ain't like that Duane! I made that white boy kiss my ass real good! But I didn't fuck 'im, Duane!"

"The hell yo' didn't!" He swung hard and slapped her across the face as she screamed out as the bar fell to a hush.

She tried to back away from him, but her back was to the bar, and she was trapped between two of the barstools and couldn't get away.

Duane slapped her again, and she fell to the floor between the barstools.

Someone cried out from the door, "Leave her alone, you bastard!"

She looked up at where the voice was coming from. "Ralph! Help me!"

She watched Duane pull out a knife and rush at Ralph.

Ralph jumped away into a table, knocking it over.

"I'll kill you fo' messin' wi' ma' woman honkey!" shouted Duane as he rushed at Ralph again. Duane knocked Ralph down as both of them rolled to the floor in a scuffle.

"Aaaaah!" shouted Duane as he scrambled away from the fight rubbing his eyes. "Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaaa!" he repeated over and over as he staggered around the room.

Ralph was sitting there under the table with a small spray can in his bloody hand, gouged where Duane had stabbed him with the knife.

Nobody else in the bar went to help either of them.

Latoya crawled over to where Ralph knelt, "Oh sugar, that looks bad! Let's get outta' here and I'll fix ya' up."

Leaning on Latoya, Ralph stood and they started to leave the bar together.

"Hold it!" shouted Duane, standing there still rubbing his eyes.

"She ain't going with you, honkey!" Duane shouted. "Woman! Get yo'self over here to yo man!"

Ralph met Duane's eye again. "It's her choice who she wants to go with! Our fighting doesn't matter. Don't you understand that?"

Duane started to stagger toward them, the effect of the pepper spray not having fully worn off yet. Ralph raised the can back up, pointing it back at Duane. Duane stopped.