Playing Doctor Ch. 03

Yes, that sounded reasonable, but, "If Holly wanted to set me up like that, why didn't she ask me to go before the emergency?" The moment I asked the question I knew the answer: it hadn't occurred to her before, but when the situation presented itself, Holly had realized she could use the emergency to set me up. She'd certainly tried it before, dragging me along to places where eligible men were to be found. Thank God she wasn't like some people you read about, always trying to marry off their friends, but still.

"Perhaps it was a spur-of-the-moment decision," Keven echoed my thoughts with a shrug. "You'll have to ask them. All I'm saying is that until I met you at the clinic, I had no idea you were associated with them in any way. Now, you can choose to believe that or not." His eyes flashed a bit at that, showing me that he had a bit of temper himself. What I didn't see in his eyes, though, was deceit.

Slowly, I deflated, forcing my anger out of me like sweat from my pores. Grudgingly, I nodded. "Okay. So we're both innocent, and we were both set up. What does that mean?"

Keven chuckled. "Do you think it matters so far as we're concerned? I don't. The spark isn't there because of what Holly and Danny did or didn't do. It's there because of who we are. This isn't about them, unless we make it about them." He raised his glass in a salute to the wall. "Not that I'm not grateful to them, though."

I considered if I should join him in the toast and decided I'd rather be pissy. I dug into the food. "That brings us back to us," I finally said.

"The fact there is an 'us' in your mind is a good sign," he said roguishly.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny," I said, not laughing. "I mean the rules of engagement." I forestalled the obvious smart comment with a raised fork. "And, no, I don't mean we're getting engaged. I mean I intend to go to bed alone tonight."

He kept that grin of his in place and nodded. "Of course. I would never take advantage of a lady, and most especially not right after what you've been through today. Your virtue is safe with me, until and unless you surrender it of your own free will, and only when you want it, not just because you feel the need to re-affirm you're alive. I won't make you regret it."

Part of me started thinking about just that, wondering how it would feel when I did surrender. I flushed when I realized I hadn't been thinking in terms of "if", but in terms of "when". Unconsciously, I'd already made up my mind that I did want to surrender, that I was going to let Keven both into my life and into my bed. I'd be damned, though, if it would be tonight.

I watched him while we ate in silence, looking for any sign that he knew what I'd decided or for any hint of smugness. I saw none, though his dark eyes smoked at me even while he devoured his food. A part of me appreciated the feeling of being desired; just I appreciated the fact that he could do it without filling the comfortable silence with needless words.

When we finished eating, Keven took the plates to the sink and started them soaking. I felt the urge to go do the dishes, but a look from him made me re-evaluate. He was laying claim to the kitchen, and his eyes dared me to challenge him on it. Not that I didn't like a good challenge, but I felt like I'd had enough for one day, and I simply didn't feel like fighting tonight.

Retreating to the living room, I put some soft jazz on the radio and sat down with my wine, waiting. Keven joined me a minute later, bringing the bottle and his glass. I raised an eyebrow as he topped me off. "Planning on getting me drunk and having your way with me?"

Setting the bottle down, he smiled assuredly at me. "Not at the same time. Tonight I plan on getting you drunk. Having my way with you will have to wait for some other night. I gave you my word and, even if I hadn't, I wouldn't use your vulnerability against you. When we make love it will be with your whole-hearted approval."

So, he was sure we would do it, too. I should've felt offended that he was so certain, but that would be kind of hypocritical. "So, if I set this glass down and asked you to make love to me right here, right now, you'd say 'no'?"

"That's exactly what I would say. I'm not saying I wouldn't want to, or that I wouldn't regret that decision for the rest of the night, though." His eyes caressed my body and I knew that he did want me.

"Then I won't tell you that," I said, taking a deep gulp of my wine. "I'll just drink, talk, and see what happens."

The jazz slowly seeped into my flesh. The alcohol made everything a bit blurred in a way that I welcomed. Despite saying I was going to talk, I was silent and he drank with me quietly, filling my glass whenever it seemed light.

Things were going so well. At least they were until I started crying, the tears coming from nowhere, making the room even more blurry. I commanded them back and was just as successful as if I'd ordered the sea to retreat. I covered my face and struggled for the composure that eluded me.

I never knew he was beside me until the glass was taken from my hand, and he pulled me gently into his embrace, holding me against him, shielding me from the world. His hand caressed my head and he whispered meaningless things in my ear.

Surrendering control, I rested my face against his chest and wept. The emotions rose up and claimed me, reducing me to helplessness. I have no idea how long I cried, my tears drenching his shirt. His arms around me first felt comforting and then started to feel erotic, as the emotional turmoil and pain gave way to a fragile peace, and the heat of him, and his scent, seeped into me. Even drunk, I was sure that the wine had something to do with it, as well.

Wiping the tears from my face, I looked up into his eyes and felt his conflicting emotions. Anger, though not directed at me; concern about me and how the day's events would affect me; and lust for me all warred inside him. On top of all of that, though, was control. Discipline.

"What if I ask you to take me to bed right now?" I whispered to him. "What if I beg you to make love to me? Would you deny me?"

Keven kissed my forehead softly. "As much as I want to make love to you, as much as I hurt saying 'no', I can't."

"That's not fair," I said grumpily. "I haven't wanted sex for years and the first time I do, I get a man with honor and scruples, and I get told 'no.' I take it all back."

I could feel the chuckle deep in his chest. "No, and I think you've had enough to drink, too. I'm going to help you to bed, and then I'm going to retire to the sofa."

When he helped me up, the world moved in ways I wasn't used to seeing it move. I held onto him tightly, to avoid falling over, which just made me fall over the other way.

Laughing, he picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. I shrieked and started laughing, too. Just like the crying, peals of humor flowed out of me. That was followed by a flash of lust as I felt his hand on my ass. Not on my legs, but on my ass.

"I thought you were keeping your hands to yourself," I said accusingly.

"It's all purely platonic," he assured me. Yeah, right.

He figured out where my bedroom was without my input and took me into my bathroom and stood me on my unsteady feet. "Let's take care of your teeth and then put you to bed."

I brushed my teeth while he held me up, almost making it a game to see if I could lean over far enough to make him grope me. No such luck.

When he started to take me back out to the bed, I held up a hand. "I need to go potty," I slurred. "Either help or turn around."

Keven laughed and turned around.

"Spoilsport," I muttered, pulling down my shorts and panties before sitting down mostly on the toilet. As I relieved myself, I watched his back. This was the closest I'd been to a man for so long without clothes on. Well, I wasn't naked, but I was close. Then my devil started talking to me again, whispering seductive things in my ear. I cocked my other ear to listen for my angel, but I think the bitch had passed out. Pussy.

What the hell. I peeled the tee shirt off my head and dropped it beside me before kicking off my shorts and panties. Sitting behind him, totally naked, I smiled at myself and my own audacity. It had to be the wine, because a part of me knew this was insane.

When I'd dried myself, I took a breath for courage and tapped his leg. "Okay, I need help standing up to wash my hands."

Keven turned around and stopped in shock, staring at me. The heat of his gaze stoked the fire inside me and I felt my nipples stiffen in almost painful arousal. The lust in his gaze was there for anyone to see and in moments, I could see other, prominent evidence that I'd hit a home run.

"That is so unfair," he said, a catch in his voice. "I thought it was the guys that were supposed to keep trying to turn 'no' into 'yes'." I could see his hands quiver a little as he took my hands and lifted me to my feet.

Then, as we stood toe to toe, I pulled him to me and melted into his arms, allowing my mouth to devour his. God, the man knew how to kiss! In seconds, I was totally drenched. The feel of his arms around me, pulling me into him, set me on fire. His erection rubbed against my belly in a way that made me want to rip his clothes off him right now, and my breasts were squashed flat against his chest.

For a moment, I thought he'd given in to me, but then he pushed me back and held my shoulders in his hands. "Oh, no," he said huskily. "No means no, Vixen. Let's wash your hands and get you to bed. Alone."

He turned me to the sink and slid his hands down my back to my hips, steadying me.

"No," I almost wailed. "This so isn't fair! I want you! I need you! Please!" Involuntarily, I rubbed my ass back against him.

"You're right about one thing," he said heavily. "It isn't fair, but it's what's going to happen. Wash up."

Reluctantly, I washed and dried my hands. Then he helped me out to the bedroom and turned down the sheet for me so I could slide in. I looked at him, standing there full of desire and need, and knew that he was right. This shouldn't happen tonight, despite how much I longed for his touch. That thought sent another jolt of electricity through me that almost made me beg once more, but I managed to keep from losing my dignity again.

"At least, if you're going to insist on being a gentleman, give me one more kiss before you go downstairs," I said softly.

Wordlessly, he took my face in his hands and kissed me gently, almost lovingly, before he let me go. "Goodnight, Sandy. If you need anything at all, shout and I'll be right up."

At the door he paused for a moment and looked at my sheet-draped body and then turned out the light and closed the door behind him.

Already, the arms of Morpheus were pulling me down, but I managed to think for a moment how lucky I really was before sleep took me.