Pleasure Doll

"Sweetie?" Tina knew I wasn't one for pet names. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"Great. The meeting was a success. I think business is really going to pick up now."

The panic I'd felt a few minutes earlier faded; she didn't sound upset. "Oh, that's wonderful. I'm happy for you."

"I have to run. Call me later?"

An alarming thought caused prickling fear to run down my spine. "Um, sure. Hey, Tina? Not that I'm complaining, but you really surprised me last night."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know, with the sneaking in thing."

There was silence, and then Tina said, "I didn't. What are you talking about?"

For a moment, I couldn't find words. She asked me again if I was all right. "I'm fine," I said, my eyes automatically going to Lola's unmoving form. "Totally fine."

"You don't sound fine. Someone snuck in?"

"I just had... a really strange dream, I guess."

"Rob, you sound off. Are you sure you're okay?"

I crept over to Lola and bent down to peer into her eyes. The light reflected in them, making them look even more lifelike than before. I shivered. "I have to go, Tina. Everything is fine. I just thought you were here."

"Okay. I'm worried about you. Call me later?"

"Sure," I said, hanging up without saying goodbye.

Faint light made Lola's skin glow. I watched her, waiting for some movement. Then my phone vibrated with a text from Mark. I reluctantly took my eyes off of Lola to read it.

Can't return doll without original clothing. You better hope Tina is in the mood to give it back to you.

I typed out a response, trying to ignore the hollow terror spreading from the pit of my stomach throughout the rest of my body. She doesn't have it. She didn't find her. I must have blacked out.

Mark answered immediately. Man, you've lost it. Hope it was good last night, that's all I'm gonna say. And remember: no judging.

I put my phone down and poked Lola's shoulder. The skin gave a little when I touched her, and she was as warm as I remembered, but she didn't budge.

"Are you," I swallowed, feeling ridiculous, "alive?"

We stared into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. Then my phone went off again, making me jump. This time it was my receptionist, wondering why I was late. I ran around my apartment like a wild man. Right before I left, I deliberated about what the fuck to do with Lola. I ended up putting her under my bed, numbly wondering if I had officially lost my mind.

I ran down the stairs and out into the cold morning, praying that I'd find that dress when I got back. She had to go. Fast.

***** The elegant and cool Mrs. Holloway was in my office when I arrived. She wore a gold dress that probably cost more than a year's worth of my rent and diamonds flashed on nearly every one of her long fingers. She smiled when she saw me, but it was devoid of any warmth.

"Robert, you're here."

I cleared my throat and made an effort to straighten my tie. "So sorry to be late, Mrs. Holloway. I had a bit of an emergency this morning."

She stood from her chair and smoothed her dress. "Emergencies happen."

Her folder wasn't on my desk. I cursed my receptionist and wondered how I would explain that I wasn't prepared for our meeting. Then I noticed she was already putting on her fur coat.

"If you give me just one minute I can..."

"Don't bother, honey. Tom took care of me."

I froze. "He did?"

"Well, naturally, I was very upset to be kept waiting. This divorce isn't your average divorce. I thought you understood that."

"Of course I did. I do."

Mrs. Holloway drummed her red nails on my desk, the clicking sound setting me on edge. "If you did, you wouldn't have been late. See, emergencies happen, but they can't happen for the lawyer representing me. This divorce is too important."

"I agree, Mrs. Holloway. I can't apologize enough."

"Yes, I'm glad you understand." She picked up her purse and bared her teeth one more time in something that might have been a smile. "I am disappointed we can't work together, Robert. We would have been a good team. I was really very fond of you."

She walked out, leaving only her perfume behind.

*****

Tom sat on the edge of my desk. It drove me crazy when he did that, and I figured he knew it.

He was a partner in my law firm, and an old friend, but our relationship had transitioned into more of a frenemy situation than anything else over the years. He and I were both fiercely competitive and we both had the fierce tenacity to win at all costs. Still, Tom was probably more human than I was when it came to the job. He didn't always have the heart to follow through when he knew it would bring immense pain to another. It made him a great person, but not the best lawyer. There was also the awkwardness that he once drunkenly professed his love for Tina, but I tried not to think about that too often.

"What happened to you this morning? I had to console your 8AM client."

I sat back in my chair and sighed. "I know. Sorry about that."

"That was the new client that had you buzzing yesterday, right?"

"Yup."

"Well, I hope you're not offended, but she's decided to work with me."

I looked up, reminding myself it wasn't socially acceptable to punch him in the face. "She told me. I understand."

Tom then offered me a pleasant smile. "How is Tina? Is she coming to the holiday party next week?"

"Yes," was all I said.

"Great. Haven't seen her since the 4th of July party."

"Look, man, I have a lot of work to catch up on."

Tom looked down at my desk, then at me. "Right. Sorry. I'll leave you to it."

Before he walked out, he turned to look at me. "You sure you're okay? You look terrible."

I sighed and put a smile on my face. He wasn't going to go away until I gave him some explanation. "I didn't sleep great."

Tom nodded. "Gotcha. Well, if you need anything..." He turned around and walked out, missing the middle finger I gave him behind his back.

The truth was I was pretty fucking far from okay. I had a doll who might have come to life the night before, and whether or not she did, I was fairly certain I was fucked in the head. I also had a girlfriend who was great but wouldn't have sex with me and a major client who just walked away from me and toward my professional nemesis. It wasn't a great Thursday.

I threw myself into my work and didn't look back up until it was 8PM and the rest of the office was black. The rain had returned, punishing and bleak against the walls of the building. I sighed and rushed outside, letting it smack against me in angry drips.

When I finally walked up to my apartment building, I had almost forgotten about Lola, who was thankfully not sitting on my sofa when I walked inside. I entered my bedroom and leaned down on my knees to see her. She was still under the bed, her blue eyes open and deceptively guileless. I swept her out and placed her on the bed, then paced around the room. I paused after a few minutes, stalked to her and heaved in a breath.

"Are you... alive? Can you understand me?" The light from the lamp flickered in her eyes. The freaky human quality of them provoked me. "Answer me!"

A knock came from the front door. I jumped and nearly fell on my ass. There was only one person it could really be: Tina. I threw Lola underneath my bed and ran my hands through my hair.

Tina was waiting in the hallway. Her hair was back in a bun and she looked tired and worried. Her eyes assessed me and she frowned.

"This is a surprise," I said. "I thought I wasn't seeing you until tomorrow."

She nudged by me and stepped into the apartment. "Your tone freaked me out before. Someone snuck into your apartment?" She eyed the place, studying it for mysterious strangers.

I sighed and shut the door behind her, praying to all things holy that she wouldn't feel the urge to check under my bed. "I was dreaming. It was so real."

Tina stopped her inspection and put her hand on my face. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm happy to worry about you."

I rested my hands on her hips, delighted to be in her presence, actually touching her and smelling her. She lifted up on her toes and put her forehead against mine.

"You work too hard," she said. "It'll burn you out."

"I miss you," I whispered.

She knew what I meant. Her cheeks flushed. "I know. I've been busy, too. I promise things will settle down soon and we'll go back to normal."

I stifled my groan of frustration and kissed her nose. "I'm looking forward to it."

I persuaded her to stay for dinner and ordered from her favorite Thai restaurant. She didn't take her eyes off me during the meal, but she didn't say much.

"Okay, what is it? Now you're worrying me."

She put down her food and shrugged. "Tom called me this morning when you were late to work."

"That bastard."

She waved her hand dismissively, then leaned across the table. "You're never late to work. Then you tell me about some weird dream you had, and you never have weird dreams. I'm over for dinner and you've barely touched me, and you keep staring over my right shoulder. There is something up with you that you're not telling me."

"I swear I'm fine."

"Maybe you should tell me about the dream. Might make you feel better."

That definitely wasn't going to happen. I let out an uneasy laugh and said, "I don't even remember it, Tina, seriously. Just forget it."

"Why haven't you kissed me yet?"

I pushed my lips onto hers, hoping it would make her stop with the questions. Luckily, it seemed to do the trick. She picked her food back up with satisfaction and grinned.

"That's more like it," she said. "I dreamt about Billy Idol once. You know, he sang "Dancing with Myself"."

"I know it," I laughed and shook my head. "Was it a sex dream?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. He was handing out samples at the grocery store and when he saw me, he started singing "Some Enchanted Evening" from South Pacific. You know it?" Tina leaned forward playfully and lifted her eyebrows. "Fucked me up for days."

I laughed harder, remembering why I loved Tina so much. She always knew how to get me out of my head. I put my hand on her shoulder and brought her closer so I could give her a better kiss than before. One she deserved.

"Love when you kiss me like that," she whispered.

"I know."

As we cleaned up, I thought about asking Tina to stay over. The thought of being alone with Lola made goosebumps break out on my skin, but surprisingly I wasn't much in the mood for sex. If she slept over, it was going to happen.

She must have expected me to ask her because she didn't hide her disappointment when I said goodnight. "You sure? I could stay and wake you up if you have another bad dream."

I pecked the tip of her nose. "This weekend. I'm just too exhausted tonight."

Tina nodded. "You do look tired. Exhaustion does weird things, Rob. You need to get some sleep."

I stared down into her trusting face and felt a rush of affection for her. "I love you."

Her smile was soft. "Love you more."

She left a few minutes later and I let her, even though I wanted to grab her, drag her back and tell her everything.

I looked around my apartment, shuddering at the darkness. There was a chill that I would have sworn wasn't there moments before. I went around the room and turned on all the lamps, stupidly thinking that it would help.

After every light was on in the apartment, I turned some football on and pretended everything was normal. I pretended so well that when I heard the laughter, I thought maybe it was just coming from next door. The laughter wasn't louder than a whisper, but it was definitely laughter. It was a harsh and ugly sound that made me shiver.

I muted the TV and listened. It certainly wasn't coming from anywhere other than my apartment. It was coming from the bedroom, in fact. My heart thudded unpleasantly in my chest as terror took a hold of me.

"Fuck." I took three deep breaths, grabbed a knife from the kitchen and headed for the bedroom. The wood floor creaked beneath my feet and the laughter stopped.

She was still under the bed when I walked in, but I could have sworn her smile had grown.

"Fuck," I said again. I shook so bad that my teeth chattered in my mouth.

I put her in the bathroom, feeling safer if she was in another room behind a closed door. Still shaking, I put the TV's sound back on and focused on the screen, letting the news ground me. More stabbings and robberies, more political nonsense and celebrities acting ridiculous. The world hadn't changed outside of my apartment, so maybe I was just imagining things. That had to be it. Maybe Tina was right. Maybe I was just exhausted and it was fucking with my head. My heartbeat slowed and I started feeling normal again.

She was just a doll. Just an inanimate nothing, a clever collection of plastic, a thing just a few steps up from Barbie. It had been a dream last night and I had certainly been mistaken about the laughter.

The wind increased and whined against my building. The news segued into the weather report and the weatherman stated that we were in for at least a foot of snow.

"You're not going anywhere for the next twenty-four hours," he gravely reported. It felt more like a threat to me. My eyes jumped to the bathroom door and I wondered what she was doing in there. Just like that, the temporary security I'd felt vanished.

Part of me knew how irrational I was being. She wasn't alive; she wasn't doing anything but resting in the tub, just as I left her.

A primitive part of me didn't believe that at all. I knew with certainty that my life was in danger, even if it sounded absurd. That thing in my bathroom might not have been alive, but she wasn't just a doll, no matter how many times I repeated that to myself.

I had to get rid of her tomorrow.

*****

I woke to the sound of footsteps. Someone was in the room. I fumbled for the lamp and sent it to the floor, instead. The lightbulb shattered on the floor.

"Damn it," I hissed. I reached for my phone and turned the flashlight on. With a shaking hand, I cast the light around, hoping I was wrong.

Nothing was there.

I put my feet on the cold hardwood floor and went to the bathroom. I turned the light on and let myself breathe when I spotted Lola's body in the tub, right where I left her.

"Thank God."

A crashing noise came from the bedroom. I ran back in and saw that the wind had burst open the window, sending in waves of snow that piled onto the floor. I shivered at the shock of the cold and slammed the window shut. My heart was still racing when I settled back into bed.

I wasn't aware of falling back asleep, but I was aware of the tickling sensation of something touching my stomach. My eyes flew open. The lamp I could have sworn I'd broken earlier was on and Lola hovered over me. She laughed when I began sputtering and pushing at her.

"Get off me!"

She only giggled harder. I thrashed around beneath her and pushed too hard, bringing us both to the floor. My head smacked against the bedside table, and then there was only a numbing darkness.

When I came to, Lola was gone. The lamp was still lit, mysteriously back in its place and unbroken. The floor, previously wet from the snow, was dry. Had I dreamed the whole thing?

I was dazed as I fought to stand. Once I was finally on two feet, I marched to the bathroom. There she was, sprawled out in the tub, just as I left her.

I stared down at her for a few moments, fury and fear waging a battle in my chest. Eventually I was able to speak.

"Fuck you."

*****

Mark stared at me over his coffee. "So, you're telling me you think the doll came to life."

I put another sugar in my own and gestured in the air like a madman. "You tell me. How do you explain what I just told you?"

"Uh, extreme exhaustion? She's just a doll, Rob."

"Then you take her!"

He laughed and shook his head. "I don't want sloppy seconds. Come on, dude, you have me worried. I think you're working too hard."

He'd said that to me at least fifty times since I called him, asking him to meet me after work. I barely made it through the day, eager to meet with Mark and have him come up with some solution.

Sighing, I sipped my coffee and tried to think of a way to prove it to him. I couldn't. "Can you please just take her? Throw her in a dumpster for me. Anything."

"Sure, I can do that for you," Mark said gently, as if I were fragile. Maybe I was. It didn't matter to me; I was just relieved she would be gone soon.

We trudged through the snow back to my apartment. I went straight for the bedroom where she was waiting. Once I saw her, I stopped in my tracks. Blood faded from my face and horrified tingles crept along my back.

My mouth opened and could only form one word. "No."

Mark stepped beside me. "What's the matter?"

"She's wearing her dress."

He went over and looked her over. "You found it? Why didn't you tell me?"

I couldn't say anything else. Her blue gaze was fixed upon me and I knew that she was watching me, waiting for me.

Mark grabbed he and threw her into a trash bag. "Honestly, Rob, you're scaring the shit out of me. She is just a doll made in a factory from some no-name town in Europe or Asia or whatever. She's not real."

"Okay," I whispered, finding my voice. I would prefer to think I was crazy than that a doll had come to life, and after she was gone, I would tell myself exactly that. "Just get her out of here."

He pressed his lips into a firm line and regarded me with concerned eyes. "Consider her gone."

*****

I didn't sleep that night. Every creak, every shadow, every whine from the wind was Lola. Hail poured in ferocious buckets, taunting me with every sharp sound as it hit the glass of my windows. I tried to put the TV on but that meant I couldn't hear if she arrived, so I just sat in foreboding silence, waiting. I didn't even feel relieved that she was gone; she was still a presence in the apartment, and my mind was filled with images of her cruel, mocking smile and wide eyes.

She never showed that night. Still, I didn't pronounce myself safe. I knew with a primitive certainty that somehow Lola was alive, or something like it, and that for whatever reason, she would return to me. It sounded ridiculous, but I knew it. What I didn't know was if it was a curse on horny men who bought dolls like her, or if she was an anomaly. I laughed to myself when I thought of the Chucky doll, but then I wondered seriously if it wasn't possible, after all. Mad thoughts raced through my brain constantly, and by morning I was convinced there was a conspiracy afoot.

I googled the company, which was actually located in California. I clicked on the site, eager to find reviews that said something to the effect of, "Shit, my doll has come to life," but the comments only praised the amazing quality of the dolls and the immense satisfaction the customers derived from them. My lips curled as I read some of the more graphic reviews, which wrote in detail about how they used and abused the dolls.

Tina called me around noon.

"I'm coming over," she announced. "Be there in ten or so."

I looked down at myself and saw I was a mess. "I'm actually..."

"I'll be there in ten," she repeated before hanging up.

I rushed to take a shower, and just as I was leaving the bathroom, she let herself in. She glanced around the apartment and sighed.

"I'm glad I came by. This place is a mess."

It was. The pizza box I ordered the night was still open on my coffee table, papers were strewn about, and clothes I'd haphazardly discarded after wearing the past few days were on the floor. It was very unlike me to have a messy apartment.

Tina's worried expression returned. "What the hell happened to you?"