Policing Vampires

"Hi you."

"Don't 'hi' me. Didn't I tell you I would bring you home? Didn't I say I would help you get back in here?"

"Honey, they discharged me a ten in the morning. What was I supposed to do, wait outside the hospital all day until the sun went down?"

"You could have told them to wait, they would have."

He hobbled toward her. "I was going crazy in that place, after four weeks of daytime television I had to get out. It was fine. I uh... what's it called? I ubered home."

"You are a jerk."

"So you've said. How about a kiss?"

"I'd rather kiss a rhino's asshole."

"Well, let me see if I can find one."

He hobbled back into the kitchen and came out with two bottles of beer. He offered her one and said "This is the best I can do."

She made a frustrated sound.

"What are you so mad about?"

"I wanted to bring you home. I wanted to help you get situated. You're hopping around on one crutch like it's nothing but you could fall and seriously hurt yourself."

"I'm fine, I've been taking care of myself for a long time."

"You're a shit."

"I thought I was a jerk."

"Shut up. You're both."

"Okay. I'm going to sit down on my new couch. Want to join me?"

"No."

Her anger and her refusal were not entirely sincere because she held one of his arms to help steady him as he made his way to the couch and sat down. She sat down beside him, as close as she could get. She saw several twinges of pain on his face as he settled his cast on the pillow laying on the coffee table, and was instantly solicitous. "Honey..."

"I'm fine, really. I've got a broken leg, so it's going to hurt sometimes."

"I know, but I hate seeing it. And I'm sorry for calling you a shit when you're hurt."

"That's fine, baby. Am I still a jerk?"

"Yes."

"Good, I wouldn't want you going soft on me."

"No chance of that. Didn't you have an x-ray today?"

"Yes. The doctor is pretty sure I won't need a cane but I will probably have a limp, even after the physical therapy." She grimaced. "It's okay, really, I can deal with that. The problem is, I probably won't be able to meet the physical requirements to keep my gold shield."

"Oh no. What does that mean?"

"It means I won't be a detective anymore, they'll have to find something else for me to do. They mentioned some kind of administrative position. And, oddly, instructor of Investigative Techniques at the academy."

"That has possibilities."

"Well, there's always curtain number three. I stay home and cook and you bring home the bacon."

"You'd be insane in a week."

"More than likely." He glanced at his watch. "I should put the lasagna in so it can be cooking."

"Yummy. No, sit still. I'll do it."

He watched her lazily as she turned on the oven and slid the big pan in. Did she bend over like that intentionally? Probably.

"Nice dress."

She glowed at his compliment. "Like it? I bought it with you in mind."

"I do like it, very much. It's the perfect combination of elegant and whorish."

"That's why I got it. Oh, just in case you didn't notice, I'm not wearing underwear."

"So? I assumed that much."

Uh oh. She's back in the Superman pose. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You didn't have underwear on that time at the hotel. I just assumed you never wore any."

"Never? What kind of slut do you think I am?"

"I don't think you're any kind of slut. I think you are a beautiful, intelligent woman who doesn't wear underwear." He opened his eyes in feigned innocence. She narrowed hers.

"How long does this need to cook?"

"About an hour, why?"

"Because I either have to take you into the bedroom and fuck your brains out, or I have to kill you."

Manetti pretended to consider. "Are those my only options?"

"Yep."

"Hmm. I'd have to go with the first one then. Help me up?"

She stalked over and lifted him, cast and all, in her arms. "Careful, I wouldn't want to bang your head on the wall or anything." She faked banging his head into the wall as she carried him through the door to the bedroom.

"I'd hate that too. You know, getting carried around like this is kind of sexy."

"It's a good thing I like you so much because you are the most frustrating person I've ever met."

"I always say 'Go with your strengths'"

She set him down on the edge of the bed as gently as she could and turned her back to him. "Unzip me?"

He slid the zipper down slowly, then spread the dress open and stroked her bare back as she purred. He slipped it off her shoulders and she wiggled unnecessarily to let it slide over her hips and drop to the floor.

There was nothing under the dress except Pam, which was more than enough.

She turned to give him a good long look, smiling lasciviously. "You like?" she asked as she ran her fingers lightly over her breasts.

"I like very much, as you know well."

"You want?"

"Yes, baby, I want you like crazy." He peeled off his shirt and tossed it to her. She batted it aside.

Carefully and gently she helped him get the rest of his clothes off, then helped him get situated; sitting in the center of the bed with his back against the headboard. "Like my new bed?"

"It's very nice, too bad we're going to wreck it."

"Go easy on me, okay? I've got a broken leg."

"I am not thinking about your bones." She crawled up until she was kneeling over him, so she could hold his head and kiss him deeply.

She pressed his head between her breasts and said with sudden seriousness, "I never said this, Phil, but I am really sorry that you got hurt. I should have handled this better. I should have seen what she was up to."

He leaned back to look up at her. "Honey, nothing that happened was your fault. You couldn't foresee what she was planning. And in the end we got her. That's what matters, isn't it?"

"I guess, but..."

"No buts. No second guesses. No worrying about what we did or didn't do. It's over. It's done."

She nodded, kissed him softly, and with infinite gentleness slide down on his hard cock.

"Oh baby, do you know how good you feel in me?" She bit her lip and began to move on him, slowly, carefully and exquisitely.

Manetti didn't answer, he was too busy brushing his lips across her stiff nipples and running his hands over the curves of her hips.

"Are you going to kiss me when I cum on you?" Her voice was breathy and hoarse. She probably wasn't completely aware of what she was saying.

Manetti buried one hand in her hair and pulled her face down, but he was too slow. She gave a soft exclamation of pleasure and climaxed. Her entire body tensed and she shook from the intensity of it.

It took her several minutes before her breathing slowed and she could open her eyes.

"Oh God, you are too good at this, you bastard."

"Yes, it's really awful that this is so good for both of us."

"It really is. I just hate it so much."

"I can tell." Manetti reached up to cup her firm breasts and run his fingers over her nipples.

"Yes, that's the part I really hate, when you touch me like that. It's the worst."

"I should stop then." He pinched her nipples lightly and she moaned wantonly.

"Ohhhhhh, don't you dare." She kissed him hard and they began to move again, faster this time. Neither of them could focus enough to tease anymore. All they could think of was the pleasure and joy of their coupling. It was less intense, and less vigorous, than their first time in the hotel. But it was even better.

Afterwards she lay alongside him with her head in his lap so he could run his fingers through her hair.

"I'm really sorry to make you do that. I know how much you dislike it," he said and she grinned.

"Yes, that was even worse than the first time. I hope you don't want to do it too much."

"If I was any kind of a gentleman I wouldn't ever ask you to do it again."

"Yes, and if I was less of a slut I wouldn't be thinking about the next time already."

Manetti had to think about that. "Earlier you accused me of thinking you were a slut, now you're saying you are one?"

"Well, there's the kind of woman that walks around in a 'fuck me' dress without panties. She's just a slut in general. Then there's the kind of woman who thinks like a slut when she's naked and in bed with her lover. That's the good kind of slut. And if you ask me which one I am you'll be singing soprano."

"Never even occurred to me to ask."

"Uh huh."

He grinned and ran his fingernails lightly down her back.

"mmmm, okay, you're not nearly as much of a bastard as I thought you were. Turns out you're kinda nice to have around."

"I can cook too."

"I know, it smells great. How much longer?"

"I don't know, 15 or 20 minutes probably. It's difficult to say for sure, this is an art, not a science."

"Show off."

"Let's get up, it will take a few minutes to get me dressed and moving around again. Ouch! No biting."

As it turns out, Pam had brought a change of clothes and a few other things in a suitcase Manetti had not seen. She slipped on a robe then helped him get pants and a t-shirt on. Manetti grumbled about the need for her help but stopped when she glared at him. "You're going to shut up and let me baby you a little, so knock it off."

Actually, his grumbling had been all for show, having her fussing over him and babying him was surprisingly pleasant. He did, however, draw the line at having her carry him around. "Save that for special occasions."

She made him stand aside so she could get their dinner out of the oven, and almost dropped it when he reached under her robe to stroke her bare ass. "You better knock that off or we're never gonna get to the food."

"Hey, it's not my fault you have an irresistible ass."

"You can show me how much you like my ass later, I'm hungry right now. And you need to keep up your strength, I'm going to be making extensive demands on you tonight."

"What demands? Do you need help moving furniture, or something?"

"No, breaking it, starting with your new bed. Oh my God this is good."

"Get your fingers out of our dinner. Were you raised in a barn or something?"

She laughed and pressed herself against him as they kissed. "You are so much fun, Phil. You make me furious sometimes, but you are fun to talk to and be around. And you are fabulous in bed."

"I knew it. You only love me for my body."

"Well, hell yes. Are you complaining?"

"Of course not. Start serving us up, I'll pour the wine."